by Hope Stone
“You okay, Mom?” Dominic’s voice came from right behind me, making me jump as I spun around.
“Uh… yep. I’m perfectly fine.”
Squatting down in front of him, I reached out and brushed his thick brown hair off of his forehead. He needed a haircut.
“Then can we have pizza for dinner?” he asked, not seeming to notice as a third police vehicle went by.
I smiled. This boy could eat pepperoni pizza every day of his life if I’d let him. “Sure. Go get your jacket.”
It might be springtime, but this was a coastal town, and I was willing to bet that the spring evenings could get a little chilly with the wind coming in off the water. Dominic was quick to obey.
When we returned after dinner at a pizza franchise I was familiar with, I unpacked the car, which was full to bursting with everything that we now owned. I didn’t have time or space in the car to take everything that I would have liked. When Jeff left for work this morning, I had gone through the house, shoving clothing and other valuables into duffle bags and suitcases. I had reduced my entire world to whatever I could fit in the back of a Toyota Corolla. We didn’t even have furniture and would be using air mattresses for a couple of nights until I could have beds delivered.
I made a mental note to get that taken care of as soon as possible. But first things first, I needed to find a job somewhere in this town.
Later, after Dominic had gone to bed, I went into our new bathroom with a box of chestnut brown hair dye. The harsh chemical smell made me wrinkle my nose, but I applied the dark goop liberally onto my flaming red hair. Living on the down-low meant that I had to cover up my most distinguishing feature. My scalp was tingling by the time the ten-minute treatment was complete. When I rinsed the dye from my hair, I barely recognized the person staring back at me.
Somehow the darkness of my hair made my skin look even paler. Opening up a plastic container that encased a brand new pair of scissors, I gathered the bulk of my long hair in one hand and made the straightest cut across that I could manage, so that my waves rested on the tops of my shoulders.
I smiled at my reflection. Change could be a good thing, and I was going to embrace this one. Tomorrow was going to be a new beginning.
Two days later, I still hadn’t found a job, and it was shocking how much I had depleted my stash of cash. I hadn’t had to worry about money for such a long time, since well before I married Jeff, and it didn’t occur to me how expensive everything would be. I tried to be sensible about purchases, buying gently used furniture and avoiding name-brand food when stocking the refrigerator and pantry, but I was still going to be broke before the end of the month if I didn’t find a source of income immediately.
Jeff’s taunting words seemed to echo in my head as I got back into my car after a disastrous job interview. “You can’t leave. You’re worthless. You’ll never make it on your own. You need me.”
How many times had I heard some version of those words come out of his mouth? He had been trying to break me down emotionally, but I always held on to the belief that he was wrong. Now I had to wonder… was he right?
One of the problems I was having was that I didn’t have identification. Well, none that I could use. I needed to be paid under the table for now, until I could find a person in this town that made fake IDs. Paying income tax with my real name would be the same as sending Jeff a postcard with my new address written on it. He had resources and money for the best private investigators. I had to stay on my toes to avoid their detection.
The other problem I was running into was that I had no job skills. Jeff had been born with a silver spoon in his mouth, inheriting his position on the board of directors at the family company. I often wondered if being a trust-fund baby led him to behave the way that he did. Growing up so spoiled like that must affect someone’s personality. Still, he had more than enough money, and there was no need for me to work. Over time, as Dominic got older, I had toyed with the idea of doing it anyway, just to give myself something - anything - outside of the house that I could call my own. But he was staunchly against it. It didn’t take me long to realize that it was yet another control tactic. He didn’t want me to get a taste of life outside of the home, because that might make me remember what it felt like to be an independent woman.
That was unacceptable to him.
Still, I was clinging to the hope that I could get a job waitressing or something similar. I could probably learn quickly and hopefully, get cash tips. But so far, my can-do attitude had gotten me nowhere.
“I’m borrrred,” Dominic complained from the backseat. I hadn’t had a chance to meet anyone in town or find a babysitter yet, not that I loved the idea of him leaving my side, considering our situation. So he was tagging along as I looked for a job, which might not be helping my chances of becoming employed.
Was I completely screwed here?
“How about we take an ice cream break?” I asked, deciding that I also needed a break from the disappointment of job hunting.
“Yes!” His shouted reply made me smile.
I remembered seeing a diner on the corner just down the street. Surely they’d have ice cream? After all, what kind of diner didn’t have specialty shakes? Maybe I’d even get lucky, and they’d be hiring. A girl could dream.
The diner, named Tiny’s, was busy for a weekday afternoon. Waitresses wearing shirts with the restaurant’s logo on the front were bustling around the dining area, taking orders and bringing out trays full of food. I directed Dominic to one of the booths lining the wall, settling into the red vinyl seat.
“Welcome to Tiny’s.” A waitress with dark hair appeared beside us, placing two menus down on the table. “First-timers?”
“How did you know?” I asked.
“Just a hunch.” She winked.
“Well, you’re right,” I confirmed. “We just moved to La Playa.”
“Welcome,” the waitress said, flashing a bright smile. “My name is Julie. What brings you to La Playa?”
“Uh…” I couldn’t believe that I wasn’t prepared for a question like this. “J-just needing a change. You know, I wanted to be closer to the ocean.”
That sounded lame, but there was no way to take back the words now. Instead, I plowed ahead. “I’m Erica, and this is my son, Dominic. I was wondering, are you guys hiring?”
Julie shook her head, “Sorry, hun. But you know what? I heard that the fitness studio was looking for someone to teach a class.”
“What kind of class?” I had never done anything like that before, but maybe I could wing it.
“Yoga, I think.” She shrugged.
Hope flared inside of my chest. I was very familiar with yoga. I did it daily. In fact, my yoga mat was one of the few things that I made sure to bring with me when I fled my home.
“Where is this place?” I asked eagerly.
Julie pointed out that large front window of the diner. I followed her gaze but frowned when I caught sight of the building across the street.
“Isn’t that a bar?” The building had a neon sign hanging on the front, proclaiming it to be The Blue Dog, and the parking lot was full of motorcycles.
Julie chuckled. “Yes, but I was pointing down the block. The place is called Absolute Fitness.”
I craned my neck and saw a white building with a glass front. It looked like a typical gym, but I hoped it could become so much more.
“Mom, are we going to have ice cream, or not?” Dominic interrupted our conversation, frowning.
“Oh, it’s ice cream you’re after? Well, we just so happen to have some of the best soft serve in town.” Julie flipped over Dominic’s menu for him, where there was a list of dessert options.
“Wow!”
His awe-filled voice was loud in the diner, and many people at nearby tables turned to look with amused expressions.
“Mom, can I have a banana split? Please?”
“Only if you eat something green with dinner.”
“Fine,” he mumb
led.
“Two banana splits it is,” I told Julie. After she walked away, I turned back to Dominic. “After our dessert, we’re going to make one more stop.”
“You want to go to that gym?”
“I want to work there. So keep your fingers crossed for me, okay?”
“Okay,” he agreed, literally crossing the middle and index fingers on both hands. I couldn’t help but laugh. With that kind of support, I would get the job for sure.
Trainer
I was a shitty cook. Always had been. It just wasn’t my thing; I didn’t have the patience for it. I generally sustained myself on fool-proof frozen meals that I could pop into the oven and food from Tiny’s. I probably kept the damn place in business with how much money I spent there.
The only time I had good, homemade meals was on Sunday afternoons. Parking my bike on the driveway apron, I strode up to the brick-faced house that I had called home for a short period of time.
I never knew my dad. He’d walked out on my mom before I was even born. Some people might hate him for that, but after living with the unstable woman that gave birth to me, I couldn’t exactly blame the guy for taking off. My mom never cared about anything more than heroin. Some people might say that she had an illness and pity her. All I knew was that I was pretty much on my own for the first twelve years of my life, and it was impossible not to resent the woman that was supposed to give a damn about me. Instead, she neglected me until I was taken away by social services. As far as I knew, she’d never even tried to change her ways and get me back.
Good riddance.
I was dumped into the foster care system, where I was shuffled around for four years. Some houses were better than others, but I’d been in a few terrible ones. I’d suffered abuse at the hands of men and women that were only foster parents because it came with a monthly check. The money was supposed to be used to take care of me, but I’d generally been no better off than I was with my mother, who spent every dime she got her hands on buying her drugs.
Then I was placed with Mama Mae.
I didn’t consider myself to be an overly sentimental man. With my childhood, I had to be tough to survive, so there wasn’t room for that shit. But I loved Mama Mae. She was the best foster parent I had, the only one that didn’t give me back or make me so miserable that I ran away. I was with her for two years until I turned eighteen.
She didn’t kick me out when I aged out of the system, but I knew that it was a financial strain once the money from the state stopped coming in. So I set out on my own, getting an apartment in the complex owned by the Outlaw Souls. Most of us lived there, since we saw the club as more of a family than anything else. We were close, and we had each other’s backs.
I made it a priority to return to visit her once a week, on Sunday afternoon. It wasn’t always possible - life tended to get in the way sometimes - but I tried my damnedest to stop by.
This week, I was carrying a plastic bag from the hardware store at my side as I rang the doorbell. Mama Mae pulled open the door seconds later, already wearing a bright smile.
“You’re early,” she said, pulling me into a hug. I could smell her floral perfume as I leaned down to wrap my arms around her plump body. She was several inches shorter than I was with dark brown skin and kinky, curly hair that she kept very short. I noticed that it was starting to turn gray, and I didn’t like that. It reminded me that she was getting older.
“I figured I’d come a little early to have a look at the dryer before lunch,” I explained. She’d told me two days ago that her dryer wasn’t heating up, so I’d picked up a heating element this morning.
“You don’t have to do that. I can hire a man,” she said, but I could see the gratitude on her face.
“Or you can let me take care of it and save your money. After all, I owe you for all the food you give me every week.”
“Oh, Raul, you can’t fool me,” she said, patting my cheek with the palm of her hand. She was the only person in my life that still called me by my given name. To everyone else, I was just “Trainer.” I wouldn’t know how to respond to anything else. “I think you just want to butter me up because you have a birthday coming up soon.”
I smiled at her words. I had forgotten all about my birthday next month, but of course, she didn’t. “You got me,” I said, “Now how about I get to work while you finish lunch?”
“Okay, but don’t work too hard. It’s your day off.”
I didn’t bother telling her that I was basically self-employed and could take any day off I wanted. It felt good to know that she worried about me. It was something that had been missing from so much of my life that I clung to it now.
I made my way to the back of the house, pulling the dryer out from the wall and removing the back panel. I hunkered down and got to work, locating the heating element and disconnecting it before popping the new one into place. It was quick work, and twenty minutes later, I had put the thing back together and started it up.
Mama Mae came into the laundry room, the open door allowing the enticing smell of fried chicken into the room. My stomach growled, reminding me that I had skipped breakfast. “Is it fixed?”
“I think so,” I replied, opening the door and sticking my hand inside. I grinned and nodded. “We have heat,” I confirmed.
“What would I do without you?” She reached out and ruffled my thick, black hair.
We made our way into the eat-in kitchen. The room was small and always seemed to be at least ten degrees hotter than the rest of the house, but it was cozy. Mama Mae collected ceramic bears, and most of them were in this room, lining shelves and windowsills. The curtains were white lace, and one end of the kitchen table always had a stack of unopened junk mail. I was sure that I looked completely out of place here in my leathers and riding boots. But Mama Mae didn’t care. She just set a fully loaded plate on the table in front of me.
I wasted no time picking up a chicken leg and digging in. Flavor exploded in my mouth, making me groan.
“This is delicious,” I told her, using my fork to scoop up some mashed potatoes.
“Don’t talk with your mouth full,” she said, but there was a small smile pulling at the corners of her mouth.
I took her advice and shut up while inhaling the food. She was also quiet, which was unusual. Normally, she filled our time together with chatter. Something must be on her mind.
Finally, when I finished off the last of the green beans on my plate, she spoke. “I need to tell you something.”
I laid my fork down and gave her my full attention. “What is it?”
“It’s not easy to tell you this...I know how you worry about me.”
Unease made my stomach roll. “What is it?” I repeated.
“I’ve got a lump.”
“What?” I furrowed my brow in confusion. “What are you talking about?”
“A lump on my breast. I have to go in for a biopsy next week.”
I couldn’t form words right away. I wasn’t used to this kind of strong emotional distress, and it made my chest feel tight. Mama Mae was the only person in my life outside of the Outlaw Souls, and the thought of losing her felt like drowning.
“I, uh, don’t know what to say…” I swallowed. “Do they think it’s…” I didn’t want to say the C-word.
“They won’t know until I get the results of the biopsy,” she said, folding her hands on the table in front of her. “I was hoping you’d take me. I’ll need a ride home afterward.”
“Of course,” I agreed quickly.
“It’s on Monday morning.”
“I’ll pick you up.”
“Not on that contraption outside,” she added sternly. I surprised myself by breaking out into a full belly laugh, breaking the tension in the small room. She was always giving me a hard time about riding a bike and how unsafe she thought it was, and to hear her worrying about it now brought me back from the edge of panic. She was still the same old Mama Mae that she’d always been, and no good would come
from freaking out right now.
“Okay, okay. I’ll bring the car. But I’m telling you, you’d love riding one. Feeling the air on your face… there’s nothing like it.”
“You’re crazy.” She shook her head.
“You know, I could even build you a custom chopper.” I was teasing her, and she knew it. It was an old game of ours. I pretended that I could talk her into becoming a biker chick, and she sassed me back. It was exactly what I needed to forget about my worries. For now.
The next day was our monthly meeting of the Outlaw Souls. Sometimes we met more frequently, and we all spent a lot of time together, but Ryder liked for us to all get together at least once a month for an official meeting. They always took place in a back room at The Blue Dog. Lately, we’d been working toward cleaning up La Playa, trying to take control of the town away from Las Balas, so that goal gave us plenty to discuss.
I was on my bike, taking the familiar route to the bar. The Blue Dog was located on the western side of La Playa, on the opposite street corner from Tiny’s. There were several other businesses around, helping to make the bar seem less intimidating to those that weren’t members of the club. That was important for us. It helped keep the cops off our backs.
I rode past a gas station and tire shop, weaving through the traffic on my Road King. Then, there was a second-hand clothing store on one side of the street, next to Absolute Fitness. Our Sergeant at Arms, Swole, was the manager of the gym, which was convenient for her, since it was located across the street and half a block down from The Blue Dog. It was good for her to have a legitimate job like that. It gave her a little distance from the Outlaw Souls on paper.
A red light at the corner made all traffic movements on the street stop just as I was in front of the gym. I put one foot down on the ground to keep my balance and waited. Movement out of the corner of my eye drew my attention to a woman that was leaving Absolute Fitness with a black gym bag hanging off of one shoulder. She was average height and curvy, with her skinny jeans hugging her ass in a way that made my eye wander without my conscious consent. The shirt she was wearing had a V-neck that showed just a hint of cleavage.