by Hope Stone
“I don’t know,” Tammy said, “it’s weird to think of you as anything other than Erica.”
“You’ll get used to it,” I assured her. I, for one, was thrilled to be embracing my real identity. I even had an appointment with a hairdresser later in the week to have my hair returned to its natural color.
“I suppose I’ll have to, since you’re sticking around.” She smiled. “You know, I was worried when I visited you in the hospital. I could see the fear in you, and I thought you were already planning to run away.”
“I was,” I admitted after taking a long sip of my wine.
“Well, I guess it all worked out well, with that bastard husband of yours having that accident and all.”
I wasn’t sure if Tammy was speaking what she believed to be the truth or if she was just being delicate about the topic because our sons were nearby. I wasn’t sure if Swole would have shared the truth with her. Either way, that was the official story. Jeff’s body had been discovered in his mangled car in southern California. It looked like he’d been driving along a mountain road and ended up going over the edge, most likely due to the cocaine, since they’d found copious amounts in the car.
At least, that was what the police officer said when he showed up to break the news. The distance the car fell was so massive that his body had been badly damaged, and the cause of death was clear without an autopsy. That didn’t sound quite right to me, but I suspected that someone might have been paid off to sweep this under the rug.
I wasn’t sure how the Outlaw Souls pulled it off, but it did explain why Trainer seemed so tired the morning after his deadly altercation with Jeff. It was a long round trip drive down to the southern tip of the state.
“How’s Dominic doing?”
“Wonderful,” I said truthfully. I had told Dominic that his dad wouldn’t be coming back. I’d been careful to avoid the word dead, but he was an exceptionally bright kid, and I thought that he had a pretty good idea anyway. “He and Trainer are getting along well.”
“You know, I never would have pegged him as the father type, but he’s really taken to it, hasn’t he?”
“I’ve been thinking the same thing lately, but I don’t know how he really feels about Dominic, you know?” Maybe the wine was a bad idea, as it seemed to be making me more loose-lipped than usual.
“You think he just accepts the kid because he loves you?”
I nodded. “It’s what I’m afraid of. I want him to love Dominic, not just tolerate him because we’re a package deal.”
“Have you asked him about it?”
“Not yet. I feel like everything has been happening so quickly. I’ve barely had the chance to catch my breath.”
Not only had Dominic and I moved in with Trainer, but I had to deal with Jeff’s estate. As his wife, everything he had was now mine. The house, the money, everything. I didn’t particularly want it. The money made me feel cheap somehow, like I was being paid off for my suffering. A lot of it was going to charity, with enough put aside to put Dominic through college. The problem with the house was the same problem I had with my duplex. It was tainted by the things Jeff had done to me there. So I was selling it. Before it went on the market, I wanted to return one more time and see if there was anything I wanted to keep, since I’d had to leave so quickly when I came to La Playa. I had been delaying the return trip until Trainer could take time away from the club and his work on the latest bike he’d been fixing up. He didn’t want me to go alone. Ever since finding me unconscious on the floor, he’d been in touch at all times. He even bought a Bluetooth headset that he had installed in his helmet so that he could take calls when on rides. He also rarely let me go anywhere alone without a fight. Some people might find it annoying, but I recognized it for what it was: uncontrollable fear. If he needed to be a little overbearing for a while to feel better, I was going to let him. Besides, it was nice having someone care so much. I wasn’t sure what I’d done to deserve it.
“Find time to tell him about your concerns. It might be difficult to find a good balance in the relationship at first, since you can’t force an emotional attachment. But trust me, it’s very possible to love a child that’s not biologically related to you with all your heart.”
I knew that she was right. There was no way to know what Trainer felt without asking him. I had already made the mistake of assuming that I knew what he was thinking when I woke up in the hospital. I wouldn’t do that again.
My phone vibrated on the kitchen table, and I picked it up to see a message from Trainer.
Just got home. You with Tammy?
It was more than just a lucky guess. I wasn’t able to work until my ribs healed – the ability to move around freely was obviously an important part of teaching yoga – so I had been spending a lot of time with Tammy during the day, since she only worked part-time at the fitness center. It gave me some much-needed adult company while Trainer was at the auto shop. I typed out a quick response.
Yep. Playdate for Dom and Emory.
I had barely sat my phone back down when it buzzed again. I gave Tammy an apologetic smile, but she was used to it by now. Frequent texting was a part of the extra-protective vibe he’d had lately. Opening up his message, I was surprised by what I saw.
Come to our place. Leave Dominic with Tammy.
Okay, that was weird. I checked with Tammy, and she was fine with looking after Dominic for a while. So I climbed the stairs up to the second floor, where our new apartment was. When I opened the door, I didn’t see Trainer anywhere. I walked through our empty living room, past the kitchen, and into the hallway that led to our bedrooms. I automatically headed to our bedroom, assuming that Trainer wanted to take full advantage of some time alone by breaking in our new bed, but as I passed Dominic’s room, I saw that the door was ajar.
“Trainer?” I asked, pushing the door open the rest of the way and stepping into the bedroom.
“What do you think?” Trainer asked, holding his arms out. All around us, Dominic’s room, which had been completely undecorated until now, was covered with insect-related posters. There was a comforter on his bed with pictures of moths and butterflies, and I spotted a new desk in the corner with a box that contained a bug collector kit. “Is it too much?”
My jaw dropped as I looked around, not sure what to say.
“You did all this for Dominic?” I asked, feeling choked up.
“Of course,” he answered simply, as if it were no big deal. “He’s nuts for bugs, and we hadn’t gotten around to decorating in here yet, so I thought I’d surprise him. I ordered it all online, but once I set it up in here, I thought I might have gone overboard.”
“I think it’s amazing.” I swallowed back my tears, but Trainer frowned as he noticed the raw emotion on my face.
“Hey.” He stepped closer and took ahold of my hands. “What’s wrong? How did I upset you?”
“You love him.” It wasn’t a question. I didn’t need to ask anymore. Trainer was the kind of man whose actions spoke louder than his words.
“And… that makes you sad?”
“No,” I said, slapping his chest playfully. “It makes me happier than I’ve ever been. I wasn’t sure how you felt about taking on the responsibility of a kid.”
“You and your doubts.” He rolled his eyes but didn’t look like he was really upset. “I’ll tell you how I feel. I feel like he’s mine. I want him to be mine.”
“You do?” Damn it, the tears were back, and there was no stopping them this time.
“Yes, but I know I’ll have to earn that position.”
He was already more of a father to Dominic than Jeff had ever been. In my opinion, he’d more than earned the right to be Dominic’s father, but I loved that Trainer wanted to try to win him over.
“Let’s go get him, then,” I said, “but you know that we’re going to have to go to the park this weekend to test out that bug collecting kit.”
“I’m counting on it,” he said.
We lef
t the apartment hand in hand. Life might not be perfect, but things were good. I finally had peace and a new life to spend with my man.
Epilogue: Trainer
“Dominic, get your shoes on,” I heard Eve call out. “I don’t want to be late to go see Mama Mae.”
“Five more minutes,” Dominic yelled back from his spot beside me.
I hid a smile. Ever since I’d talked Eve into letting him have the newest fighting game, he’d been hard to pry away from the PlayStation. As a parent, I knew I had to be disapproving, but I secretly liked it because he always wanted me to play with him.
“Dominic,” Eve’s voice called out again. She sounded pissed.
I nudged Dominic lightly in the side with my elbow. “Go get the shoes, bud.”
He paused the game and let out a little sigh. “Why can’t I just stay home and play?”
“Because Mama Mae is expecting us. We can play more when we’re all home again.” I took the controller from his lax hand. “Now, scoot.”
“Okay, Dad.”
That word came out of nowhere, and it froze me. Dominic didn’t seem to notice as he got up from the floor and headed to his room to get his shoes. I was still sitting in the middle of the living room floor in front of the TV when Eve came out of our room, putting in a pair of earrings as she walked.
“Are you okay?” she asked, stopping beside me. I looked up at her, noting that she looked gorgeous in her emerald green wrap dress. It hugged her curves just right and complemented her flaming red hair.
“Yeah,” I said, the word coming out high-pitched and soft. I cleared my throat and repeated myself. “Yeah.”
“Okay… then what are you doing?”
I stood up, leaving the game console controllers where they lay. “You won’t believe this,” I said lowly, so that Dominic wouldn’t hear. I could hear the excitement in my voice. “Dominic just called me Dad.”
Eve’s smile lit up her entire face. “Really?”
“Yeah,” I confirmed. “Out of nowhere. Like it was no big deal.”
“That’s great, baby.”
Eve hugged me tightly.
“Maybe we should postpone this trip,” I said, earning a frown from her.
“Trainer, this isn’t just a trip. It’s our honeymoon, and it’s already long overdue.”
She was right, of course. We had been married for three weeks now, and postponing the honeymoon any longer wasn’t a good idea. It was just that leaving Dominic behind right now felt wrong. We’d all been living together for six months, and he’d finally called me Dad.
“He’s not going to stop thinking of you as his dad just because we’re gone for a week.”
“You’re right. I just feel like this is a big step forward in our relationship.”
“It is, but it’s a solid relationship. Don’t worry so much.”
“I’m ready,” Dominic said, merging from the bedroom with his shoes on.
“Good. All the suitcases are in the car, including Dominic’s,” Eve told me.
She and Dominic got in the car, while I followed along on my bike. We were heading to Mama Mae’s place, like we did most Sunday afternoons, but this time Eve and I would be leaving after dinner to go on a ride to Las Vegas, where we’d be spending a week alone together. Gambling, shows, and as much time between the sheets as I could get. I loved Dominic like he was my own son, but I was well aware of how having a kid around made it hard to find time for sex.
I planned to make up for any missed opportunities with my bride this week.
When we reached Mama Mae’s house, she opened the door on the second knock, while my fist was still in the air. As usual, she greeted Dominic first, sweeping him up into a bone-crushing hug. She always said that Dominic was the closest thing she’d ever have to a grandchild, so she was going to spoil him.
Next, Eve and I got kisses on our cheeks. The three of us entered the house, and I immediately recognized the meal we were having by smell alone.
“Tuna casserole again?” I asked, pouting at Mama Mae. We’d had that as least once a month since Eve and Dominic started coming to these weekly gatherings.
“It’s Dominic’s favorite,” Mama Mae replied dismissively.
“Trust me, I know. Maybe you could make my favorite sometime instead.”
“Boy, you’ve gotten spoiled since you met this one,” she said, gesturing to Eve. “You get homemade meals every night, and all of a sudden, you start sassing me.”
I rolled my eyes, but I couldn’t help smiling.
It was funny. When I was young, I’d always thought of myself as someone with no family. I had tried to accept it, but it was hard. I felt like I was missing something. Then Mama Mae came along. Now I had Eve and Dominic. They might not be blood, but they were the family I chose, and I couldn’t be happier.
We sat down at the table together, falling into easy conversation as we filled each other in on everything going on in our lives.
“We really appreciate you watching Dominic while we’re gone,” Eve said.
“Oh, please. It’s a pleasure. It’s been too long since I had little kids in this house. I loved taking in foster children. It was the great joy of my life.”
“You’re a good woman,” Eve said.
“It’s easy to love kids.”
I looked over at Dominic. I had to agree.
“So are you planning to have more?”
Mama Mae’s question took me off-guard. I whipped my head around, looking at first her, then Eve. She looked just as surprised as I was. We’d never talked about it.
“Uh… I don’t know,” I said.
The atmosphere at the table got awkward. We all focused on our food for several minutes, not meeting each other’s eyes. Mama Mae leaned over toward Dominic and spoke with a stage-whisper. “Did I touch a nerve or what?”
Dominic just shrugged.
“We just haven’t talked about it,” I said. But now that the idea was in my mind, I couldn’t deny that it was compelling. I wanted to see Eve pregnant with my child, to be there to hold the baby right after it was born. I wanted to be a better parent than both of mine combined.
“If you do, I want a brother,” Dominic said. “Girls don’t like bugs.”
Everyone at the table chuckled.
“We don’t get to choose the sex of the baby,” Eve explained, “but if it’s a girl, you can still teach her all about bugs.”
“So… you’re going to do it? Are you going to have a baby?” Dominic smiled broadly.
Mama Mae looked at Eve and me with both her eyebrows raised in a silent question.
I looked at Eve. We were being put on the spot here, but as our eyes met, that didn’t seem to matter. I could see the answer written on her face, and it was the same as my own.
“Yeah.” I nodded. “I think we are.”
Dominic cheered while I put my arm around the back of Eve’s chair, and she rested her head on my shoulder. Mama Mae stood.
“I think that calls for some dessert,” she said. “Come along, Dominic. Help your Mama Mae.”
When Eve and I were alone in the room, I tilted her chin up so that she was looking at me. “Are we really going to do this?” I asked. “Do you want it?”
“I do. You know, I decided a long time ago that I wasn’t going to have any more. It was hard enough to keep Dominic safe. I didn’t want to bring anyone else into my messy life, as it wouldn’t be fair to the child. But now, it doesn’t seem like that. Now a child would be a blessing, coming into a good life.”
“You know I’ll do whatever I have to do to keep you all safe, right?”
“Of course.”
We left Mama Mae’s house after eating dessert. It was hard to leave Dominic behind, but we knew that he’d be well taken care of. I straddled my motorcycle and waited for Eve to get on the back.
She’d gotten much more comfortable back there and had even gone a few rides with the Outlaw Souls. We finally got to take the big ride to Utah that I had been pl
anning, but Eve didn’t tag along for that one.
Still, it was a good trip. The club would always be like my second family, and organizing these rides would always be my passion.
Now I fired up the Harley and pointed it east. This might end up being my favorite ride yet. Because I loved to ride, and I loved Eve.
Book 4: Blade
Outlaw Souls MC
BLADE Book Blurb:
There’s a fine line between love and hate.
Blade came into my life like a wrecking ball. Tearing down my walls and rocking my world. Then I found out he was a member of Outlaw Souls. That was a problem, since my loyalty was to their enemy, Las Balas. My connection to them was one of blood, through my father and brother. I couldn’t turn my back on that, no matter how much I wanted Blade.
Meanwhile, there was a new kind of trouble brewing in La Playa. Both of the rival clubs got caught up in the mess, which left me choosing sides. Sleeping with the enemy was addicting, but what about my family? It was time to make a real choice. Because things were heating up between Las Balas and Outlaw Souls, and it was dangerous to get caught in the crossfire.
Blade and I were meant to be enemies. Could we find a way to get past that and become so much more?
Kat
I froze in place as I stepped out the front door of my house and saw that my front tire was flat as a pancake.
“No, no, no,” I groaned, hurrying forward to get a closer look as if I could possibly be mistaken.
No luck. It was flat, and I had to deal with it.
“Shit,” I hissed under my breath as I threw my purse into the driver’s seat and popped the trunk. I was going to kill my brother, Jason. He’d borrowed my car yesterday, and now my perfectly good tire was flat. No way that was a coincidence.
Grabbing the jack, lug wrench, and a spare tire out of the trunk, I hauled them over to the deflated tire. Taking a closer look, I spotted the problem. A nail was stuck in the rubber. I sighed and checked the time on my phone.