by Hope Stone
“I knew you would make it home safely. Sorry I didn’t get here sooner to see you,” Colt’s father said in a raspy voice.
“It’s okay, Pop. You’re here now.”
It almost brought a tear to my eye to see the exchange between father and son.
“Your horses are in good shape. I might have to jump back in the saddle, my boy.” He patted his son on the back, laughing with a toothy grin.
Cheryl gave him a funny look. “Last time you got on one of those Palomino horses, you fell off, remember? I had to nurse you back to health for days. You whined so much,” Cheryl said.
Colt’s father pursed his wrinkled lips together and moved to sit at the kitchen table. “Oh, hush, woman. Now introduce me to your friends, Colt.” He smiled at us both.
Bella had her hair down and was wearing jeans, a cute little top, and, to my delight, her very own cowboy boots. She ran over to sit by me.
“Dad, this is my girlfriend, Amber, and her brother, Hector, who is staying here for a night or two.” The announcement shocked me. I was as stunned as everyone else in the room. You could hear a pin drop as everyone stared at Colt and then back at me.
“Daddy’s got a girlfriend!” Bella, with her big grin, was the one to break them out of their astonished silence. She covered her mouth, swinging her legs on the couch. She started giggling up a storm. She let the announcement fade and move right into the next thing on her mind. She got up after that and ran to her room, yelling, “Grandpa, I want to show you my horses! I’ll be back with the drawing.”
My mind spun in confusion. That reaction could have gone either way. Her mother hadn’t been dead that long. She might have been angry about it. I brushed my hair out of my face.
The room was like a slow-motion movie returning to full speed. Colt stared at me, and I tried hopelessly to avoid his gaze.
“That’s good, son. Just don’t go back to jail,” Clive warned. I saw the tension on Colt’s face as he balled his fists.
Hector sat silently. I got the feeling from his blank stare that he had other things on his mind than whether Colt and I were having a love affair.
Cheryl was in disbelief. “I should have known. I mean, you spent a lot of time together.”
Piping hot plates of a mixed smell of beef, sweet cinnamon, and earthy potatoes filled the air.
I walked out to the back porch. I felt embarrassed and rejected a little by Cheryl, and his father didn’t exactly endorse us either. Dusk was on the menu, as well, as the sky gave us a feast of deep oranges and pale pinks mixed with royal blue in the sky. The chill made me wrap my arms around myself. A minute or two later, Colt came out. I just needed to have the cool air injected into my lungs.
A large warm arm reached around my shoulders. “Babe. I’m sorry. It just came out. I don’t know why.”
I turned. “Colt, I said we should be careful. I mean, we don’t know what this is. You told your mother? I mean, what do I look like right now? A social worker who seduces my clients? I could get fired. I keep telling you that! You’re not listening.”
His pale blue eyes gazed high into the mountain tops that sat in the distance behind the property. Crickets were sounding off. This was their time. Frogs were making themselves known, as well. I listened to the sounds of nature to calm myself down.
“Might have been a Freudian slip, but I meant every word I said. My mother will get over it. It’s my life. Bella loves you. I love you, Amber. That’s the bottom line. I don’t give a damn about anything other than that at the end of the day. My mom isn’t going to rat you out. She would never do that.” His blue eyes came back from their journey over the mountain tops and reached into my soul.
“I didn’t know you felt that way.”
“Now you know. You don’t have to say it back. Prison has done something to me.” He kissed my cheek, and his lips were cool from the night air. “Come on in. Time to fill your belly.”
I saw the hint of sadness in his eyes, but he covered it well.
Colt
When the day of redemption comes, you pray. You drop to your knees and pray for everything good in this world. Today was the day. The operation started at the crack of dawn before the sun broke over the back of the California mountains. I stood with my cup of Joe on the porch as a pocket of orange filled the sky, and the dewdrops hit the tips of the sweet-smelling blades of grass.
I practically gulped my coffee down, then I called Mikakov.
“Morning.”
“Morning, champ.” Mikakov’s thick Russian accent made a wry smile lift over my face.
“Confirming.”
“Okay. Here’s how we run. You’re out of this. Know this—they are coming for blood. These bitches think Hector is going to be there. Me, Vlad, Moracov, and Pedro are going to go in. We are going to settle the price on the young man’s head, on the proviso that you take him under your wing. He’s yours now. Understand? But we got you covered.”
“I understand. Thank you.”
“No. Colt, thank you. We know the price you paid. You put your life on the line. We respect that.”
I watched as a bird flew to the closest tree and called out. “See you tonight.”
“Colt, keep Hector away from the scene, just in case. Sit high on the hill if you are going to be there.”
“Done, and no problem taking the kid under my wing. It’s what I planned to do all along.”
“Good.”
“Bye.”
So it was done. Hector joined me outside.
“Hey, Colt. I wanted to ask you something.” He had a cup of coffee in his hand and stood on the porch beside me.
“Shoot.”
“Do you think I could work with you? I could use a job. I want to stay out of trouble.” Hector posed his question without reservations.
“We all find ourselves in positions in life we shouldn’t be in. I know that for certain. Give me some time to work on things.”
“Okay. For now, let’s see this thing through. I’m going in tonight,” he said. “I want to be there.”
“The Russians don’t want you there. They’re trying to save your ass. It’s a bad idea.”
“I know it is, but I can’t just let you go into that situation, knowing that I was the cause of it in the first place.”
“Yes, you can. I’m seasoned. If, for any reason, one Las Balas member sees you, they might not get you right away, but they will get you. Trust me.”
“I get it. I don’t want to be walking around watching my back through Merced.”
I looked out as the sun broke over the hill. My little sleepyhead Bella would be up soon. “You won’t. Once the Russians stand in for you, not one person will harm a hair on your head.”
“Thanks, Colt.”
“You’re family now, and that’s what we do.”
I left Hector standing outside and went to Bella’s bedroom to see her face and hear her little snores as she snuggled deeper into the covers. She had pretty hair, like her mother, a face like a little angel, and a heart as big as a lion, my little girl. I wanted a better future for her.
Hector was still sitting on the front porch, and the frown on his face told me he had a lot on his mind.
“Hey, Hector, let me take you down to where the guys work. It’s not crop season right now, but let me show you how it works.”
I hadn’t stepped foot in the farming side of the business since I’d been back. Mom had handled that side of things, so I would be seeing it for the first time along with Hector. We walked to the production warehouse as the sun’s heat started to warm us up.
“What are you going to do? Are you gonna go back to working at the chop shop? I heard that’s what you were into,” Hector asked as we walked.
I flashed back to being hauled off in handcuffs. “No. They want me to, but in a different way. I’m an Outlaw ‘till I die. I just can’t do that right now. Diego runs a legit motorcycle chapter here. He made an offer. I know the cops are going to be on my ass if I do, thoug
h.”
“Yeah, but if you can make money at it, why not?”
I glowered at Hector. “Have you learned your lesson? It seems like you haven’t. I don’t know if they took it easy on you inside, but prison life will eat you alive. When I first went in, I had to establish myself just like you do on the streets on the outside. People came at me every day. In the yard. In the shower. With homemade shanks. I got sliced a couple of times. Hangings in the jail cells, and friends murdered. You want nothing to do with that life.” I looked him up and down and saw the shame in his face. “You’re not cut out for it. You wouldn’t last when they send you to the hole. Where you’re locked in, darkness and rats are coming out of the corners, and the cell smells like rancid piss. No, my friend, that’s not what you want, I can assure you.” I gave him a hard stare.
I watched his Adam’s apple bob up and down as I delivered the day’s sermon. “You have a point. By the way, you don’t have to put me up or nothing. I have a little money for a place. I’m just waiting for this shit to blow over. You know?”
He rubbed the back of his neck as we entered the production warehouse. A few empty barrels of grain feed were standing in the back corner. The makeshift conveyer belt was dusty, and the rubber was worn out. I would need to replace it.
“You can help me in here for starters. I need to prepare for crop season and fix some fences around the property. It’s not glamorous work, but it’s a good, earnest living and will keep you busy.” I shifted my gaze to him as the overwhelming smell of hay, crops, and grains permeated the warehouse.
“I can deal with this.” Hector’s face changed to one of hope.
Maybe my prison stint had a bigger purpose, after all. I set Hector to work on the back fences, which needed some attention.
“Okay, Hector. I have to drop Bella off at school. What you can’t do just leave, and we’ll work on it when I get back.”
He saluted and took his tools to the back fence. I smiled, glad I was doing some good.
As I entered the main house, Bella was in the kitchen with a cup in front of her. I saw the steam coming out and peeked into it. “What you got in there?”
She snubbed her nose at me in a cute way. “I have some tea. Grandma taught me how to make it.”
“You know how to cook on the stove, and with the water?”
“Yes. I do.” Her little lips blew on the hot drink, and she sipped cautiously. Her hair fell just below her shoulder blades. Long hair like her mother.
“You are amazing, Bella.”
She threw her hands up. “I know! Daddy, I’m excited to go to school today. I’m going to take a picture of Moonlight for a show and tell.”
“That’s a good idea, baby. I like it.” Nothing like a Bella in your life to lift your spirit. “When you finish that, Daddy is going to take you to school.”
“Okay.”
Bella finished her drink and grabbed her book bag from the couch.
“Okay, I’m ready to go, Daddy.”
“All right, then, let’s go.” I touched my face. I had a little stubble, but nothing major. It’s the way I liked it. I’d trimmed up my edges, so I looked respectable. I knew I didn’t fit in with cookie-cutter society, and that was okay with me. I wore a plain white T-shirt, jeans, and my tan cowboy boots.
As we rode over to Bella’s school, she hummed all the way. I was still mesmerized by the little girl. She and Amber were the reasons I’d vowed to stay out of trouble. I pulled into a parking spot right out front. Little people were everywhere, getting dropped off. I saw the moms kissing their daughters, and I wondered how it made Bella feel.
“You okay?”
“Yes. Just sometimes, I’m sad when I think that Mommy doesn’t bring me to school.” She dropped her head, and I felt the pain hit my chest.
“It’s okay to be sad, sweety. But don’t stay sad. Mommy wouldn’t want that. She’s here with you, watching over you. Over us both. Give Daddy a hug.”
Her delicate arms reached my neck, and she slapped a wet kiss on the side of my face. “I have to go now! My friend Carly is there.”
I laughed at her resilience. Just as quickly as she was sad, she was happy again.
“Grandma is going to pick you up, okay? Daddy has some business. You’re going to stay with Grandpa and Grandma.”
“All right. I stay there a lot. We have fun. I beat Grandpa in puzzles. He gets mad.”
“That’s Grandpa for you.”
Bella opened the door and bounced into the school doors, skipping in with her friend, Carly. I felt a little heavy in my heart. Bella had built a whole life without me in prison. Where did I fit now?
I rode back home and worked alongside Hector in the Merced heat. I had my own demons to work through. I wanted the time to pass quickly. My wish was answered as dusk set over Merced.
“Hector, let’s pack up for the day. It’s showtime.”
“You sure I can’t come? I mean, you’re only going to watch, right?”
“I am, but I’m going to be close enough.”
Hector jumped in. “I’m coming with you. This whole transaction is about me.”
“You got your car? Follow my lead. Come on, we have to load up just in case.”
We went to the barn, and I turned on the light. It seemed like the little pigeons had hatched as I could hear the squawking. I put my hand out as we entered the entryway of the barn.
“Wait here,” I commanded.
I climbed the ladder and uncovered my arms supplies. I grabbed the long-range rifle and the case of bullets. I also grabbed the two semi-automatics.
I climbed down, and Hector was taken aback.
“Cowboy, you’re packing heat like that?”
I gave one nod of my head. “You better believe it. I’m an Outlaw. When we go to war, we go in armed. Here, take the semi. You know how to use it?”
“Yes, I do. I’ve had a few shots at the gun range. I’m not a bad shot.”
I eyed him warily. “It’s different when you’re faced with the situation, and you have to fire in real life.”
“Have you?” He cocked his head to look at me as we stood with our weapons and the horses looking at us.
“Yes. Once. I shot a dude in the leg for non-payment. I regret that. Again, in my younger years. I’m too old to be doing that, and I have a daughter to think about.”
“I understand. What’s that long rifle you got?”
“It’s a long-range sniper. We’re going to be sitting high up. We got walkies. So if anything pops off and I can get a clear shot off, I will take it.”
Hector put his hands on his head in despair, which let me know he didn’t have a killer instinct.
“Best you stay out of a game you can’t play, Hector,” I warned.
“I guess so. This shit’s freaking me out.”
I smiled. “Then my job is done. Come on. It’s getting late, and I need to check in with the guys.”
Remnants of dust kicked up as a soft breeze blew onto the farm. As we talked and I got out the walkies from my back room, I looked at my watch. Seven o’clock.
“Let’s go. We need time to set up on the hill. I got the binoculars packed.”
“Okay, I’m ready.” Hector’s face was pale, and he was sweating even though it was cool.
“Okay, good. Let me show you how the Outlaws do it.”
Amber
“Can I see Warden Smith? I have an appointment with him this morning.”
Another visit to USP Atwater, and it was fast becoming my second home. The office administrator behind the glass gave me a weary look. She looked worn down.
Warden Smith came out of the office, greeting me with a wide smile. “Amber, always a pleasure. Come through.”
I followed Warden Smith to the back room and passed all the others working in the office. They all turned their heads to look at me. I’d been trying to organize this meeting for months with him.
We made it to a small meeting room, and the standard jug of water was on
the table. Warden Smith hitched up his pants. “Can I get you a cup of coffee?”
“Yes, cream and one sugar,” I replied in a business-like tone. My stomach led the way in letting me know that Warden Smith might have the hots for me. His gaze lingered a little too long for my liking.
“Coming right up. I will be right back.”
Warden Smith left the office, and I breathed deep as I spread out my evidence. I was here on prison reform business. Some of it was reinforced by Colt’s stories of the conditions he’d faced. Warden Smith came back five minutes later with two cups full of hot liquid. I could smell the coffee beans. He placed the cup in front of me. He, too, had a stack of paperwork in front of him.
“So, Amber, how are you doing?”
I got comfortable in my seat. “I’m doing great, Warden. I’ve wanted this meeting for the longest time.”
“I know. I’m glad we’ve gotten around to it. Let’s talk about it. What do you have for me?” He slapped his knee.
“Well, I want to commend you first on how you run the prison in terms of problem-solving. If an issue arises in my dealings with you, you have been quick to correct it.”
Stroke the ego first. Warden Smith poked out his chest with pride. “Thank you, Amber. Go on.”
“Having said that, at USP Atwater, there is a significant increase in suicide in jail cells. Also, there is a marked increase in inmates with mental health conditions, who strike out by murdering other inmates. The conditions in solitary confinement are dismal, and prisoners are being exposed to toxic metals when they are working outdoors. This is my hope for USP Atwater.” I slid across a pamphlet for Hawaiian jails that showed how clean and neat they were. It also showed the plethora of prison programs available.
Warden Smith belly-laughed “You can’t be serious. Hawaii? These men are hardcore prisoners. They don’t need a home away from home.”
“Not all of them are, and if the plan is to reform them so that they don’t re-offend, we have to at least give them the right environment to thrive and gain the skills to go back into society. Not all of the prisoners at USP are lifers,” I said passionately.