by Hope Stone
“Nope. You have nothing to feel guilty about. You didn’t hold a gun to my head. It was my choice, and your brother is a good kid.” The rain continued to batter down on the house, and it wasn’t the peaceful kind. Colt kneaded my fingers with his, soothing me.
“I want to be with you, too, and I like your plan for the future and us. I want to be a part of it with you and Bella. She called me, you know.”
“She did?”
“Yes. She told me how sad you were without me.” I smiled slyly at Colt through the darkness.
Colt just laughed. “Now I got a spy in the works. Never ends with you women.”
I shook my wild hair in the twilight. “No, it doesn’t. Better get used to it. I thought I wanted this promotion at work, but I don’t. I’ve gone back and forth about it for a long time. The job is wearing me down. I want to be free. Every time I come to your property…I don’t know, something changes in me.”
The windows clanking and moving with the deafening wind caused me to divert from the conversation with Colt. I moved to the kitchen windows to check that they were locked properly. We both realized we were standing in the dark, talking to one another.
“Perhaps we should turn on the light.” I giggled. I saw the shadow of a smile on Colt’s lips as he flicked on the switch.
The room lit up along with my face. Colt moved around the house deftly, checking all the windows and doors, shutting and securing them. “That’s the other reason I came here.”
I followed behind him. “For the storm?” I grinned.
“I mean, I was going to use that as an excuse if you tried to send me away. This storm is going to be brutal, and I wanted to check on you. Make sure you were okay,” Colt said tenderly.
“Thank you. I’m glad you did. It’s kind of scary.”
“All part of being in California. If it is not earthquakes or fires, then it’s high winds. We’ll be okay. We’ve weathered a storm or two, that’s for sure,” Colt said.
“You’re right. So when are you going to teach me to gallop with the horses?”
Colt smiled as the rain washed away my fears for our future. “As soon as you’re ready.”
When you make a bold declaration to leave something behind in your life, it can be hard for other people to accept. I sat in the parking lot, watching the cars zoom by for minutes, just letting my mind drift. Was this truly what I wanted? Did I really want to throw in the towel of working for the Department of Human Services to be a riding instructor? I would be leaving a huge chunk of my life behind. I looked in the front mirror to face myself.
“Come on, Amber, you can do this.”
My knees wobbled as I walked. Donald had just given me the promotion. No one knew I was with a convicted felon in a case that I’d taken over. Nobody knew that I liked the country and wide, open spaces. Hell, I didn’t even know until Colt introduced me to it. I would still do my prison advocate work. I had enough of a network from long-established relationships over the years. I wondered if my leaving would ruin my chances.
I breathed in and out as I approached my desk. I thought I might be sick. Inside, I was excited about my new life, but I hated disappointing people. I wanted to grab a coffee from the break room.
“Hi, boss.” Tameka smiled at me, cutting me a wink.
“Hey, Tameka.” I smiled back at her weakly.
I placed all my things down on the desk. First, a coffee.
Lucy flowed in step with me to the kitchen. We’d cleared the air, and it turned out we had a lot more in common than I thought. “Hey there, boss. I have to run something by you for a case later if that’s okay.”
“Yes, it’s fine. Just might not be calling me boss for much longer.” I sighed.
“What do you mean? Didn’t Colt get cleared of all charges?” she whispered as we reached the kitchen together.
“Yes. He did. It’s not that. I just think—no, I know—that I’m ready for a change. Colt has this riding school he’s starting. I think I want to work with the kids out there.”
Lucy pursed her lips at me as she put the water on to boil. “Are you serious? Are you sure about putting your eggs into one basket like that?” She eyed me with concern.
“I am. I know I sound crazy.”
Lucy pulled a little mint chocolate out of her pocket. “A little something from the conference meeting yesterday.”
I took it from her gladly. I needed a little sweetness before I delivered the bitter news to my boss.
“No, I don’t think you’re crazy, by the way. You’re following your heart. Maybe just ease into it. You don’t know how long it’s going to take before he gets it going. Don’t you need to learn to ride first?”
“I mean, yes and no. I used to ride when I was a little girl. I used to get lessons.”
“Oh, wow. You really are meant to be with a cowboy.” Lucy elbowed me as I poured our coffees.
I shrugged. “I’ll take it.”
“Well, you can sign me up for the first lesson once it gets going. I want to see these trails. Plus, you know I love sticking my nose in other people’s business.”
“Yeah you do,” I giggled. “What do you think I should tell Donald?”
“That you want to work part-time. You are more valuable than anyone in this department. Even if you don’t want the promotion, he would be a fool to let you go.”
“I know, but I already accepted the job. You still want that prison advocacy role if I can create it?”
“No. I don’t want you to get me a job. I’m happy right where I am. Like I said, I was just giving you hell because I could.”
I shook my head. “Lucy, you are something else, you know that?”
“Yes, I’m aware, honey.” She sauntered away with her coffee in hand.
I took my mug of coffee with me and rapped my knuckles on Donald’s door. It was open.
“Come in. My door is always open, you know that. Please take a seat.”
I closed the door behind me. “I feel like this is a closed-door conversation.”
Donald’s face was peering into his computer screen. He was in his normal position, buried under a mountain of paperwork.
“Okay, hit me with it. Got a tough case we need to work on? Training? What is it?”
I fumbled around for the right words.
“I’m moving in a new direction.”
“I quit.”
“It’s time for me to make a change.”
“I’m getting older and…”
I let a moment pass, and that raised concern as Donald looked up at me. “Go ahead, I’m listening.”
“Donald. I think you should give the promotion to someone else. I’m quitting. I want to move in a new direction.”
Donald’s mouth dropped open, and his eyes blinked rapidly. I watched his Adam’s apple bob up and down. “You’re leaving us? When and how did this happen? I only just gave you the promotion!” A flabbergasted look crossed his face as he waved his hands in the air.
“Listen. I’m not leaving right away. I’m willing to continue for the next six months. I’ll give you a long lead time. As you know, Donald, this job can take its toll. I want to pursue other things in my thirties, and I feel it’s time.”
Donald’s face started to return to normal. “You’ve met someone, haven’t you? Women always come into my office either for babies or because they’ve met someone.”
I sighed. “Yes, I have met someone. That might be part of it, but I still feel like it’s time for me to go. To move on now.”
“Okay. I will have to find a replacement for you, and that will take some time. Not that you can be replaced.” Donald gave a wry smile. “You are loved in the department, Amber. But I do understand. I have a family of my own, and I sometimes wonder whether I should continue.”
“You do?”
“Yes. It’s a hard slog, and this job can really take its toll on you. But you handle everything in your stride. What will you be doing if you don’t mind me asking?”
“I will be on a ranch, helping out and running horse trail rides for kids. Well, I hope to.”
Donald nodded in appreciation. “That sounds about right. I knew it would have to involve children or something like that.”
“Thanks for understanding.”
“Hey, you’re welcome. Not much I can do about it. You’ll have a nice little unused vacation pay built up, too, since you never take off.”
“Yes. That will help.”
I smiled and made my way out of the office. I floated out. A new chapter of life was forming for me, and I wanted to run through the office in happiness.
Colt
“Pop, do you think people are going to want to come out here and try this?” I readjusted the brim of my cowboy hat. The Merced sun was showing no mercy to us today.
My father, with his broad hardworking shoulders, bent backward, stretching out his spine. He’d just hand-drilled all the fences together. All the slats were on, and it looked damn good.
“Son, take a look around you. There’s nothing better than what you have here. This is the land I passed on to you so you could do something like this.” He spread his arms wide in reference to the property. “All of those years ago, I knew what it could be. You’ve taken it one step further here.”
He pointed to the arena. “You’re sitting on four hundred and forty acres. I inherited this land from my father, and he from his. This place is sacred, ancestral land. Anyone who comes here feels right at home. Wouldn’t you agree?”
“I guess when you put it that way, you’re right. It’s a special place.” I pulled my hat up and wiped the sweat from under my brim, where my hair was slicked to my forehead.
I looked into the distance. California rolling hills encapsulated the property. Behind those California hills sat the foreboding mountain peaks. My neighbors weren’t particularly close by, and that was fine by me. The paddock on the left had been transformed into a circular arena for participants to practice their riding skills, including leading the horses around it. It was for learning to trot and canter. I would leave the galloping for the trails.
“Damn straight. You’re going to need some help with the crops this year if this gets running right. You’re going to need a new stable, too, for the extra horses.”
I tipped my hat to my father, his silver hair shining bright in the sun. He’d always been a straightforward man. Planning for the future.
“You’re right. I have the new horses coming in. I have to get Bella to help me feel them out. We got two more. I think Moonlight is more settled now that I’m home. I can put an experienced rider who likes a challenge on her.”
My father nodded at my suggestions. I loved working alongside the old man. He was one of my greatest inspirations.
“You know what irks me, son?” He patted the soil for the arena. As he grabbed it, it turned to dust. “You never named those goddamn Palominos. They need names. How are your riders going to know?”
“Good point. I just know them by their features. One of them has a chunk out of its ear. It got in a fight with the other one.”
“Uh-huh. And the other two?”
“Well, one has a longer tail than the rest. The third one loves to eat carrots more than the rest. If I gave it an endless supply of carrots, it would live on them.”
My father sniffed and smoothed out the dusty ground under his feet. As soon as I mowed back the paddock, the heat got to it, keeping the soil dry. It’s what I wanted—a harder surface. “See, there you go. Get young Bella, the horse whisperer, to name them.”
“I will. That’s a great idea. You really want to run the farm side? I thought you were done with it.”
“So did I, but I feel the excitement coming back. I wanted to play around with a few other hobbies of mine, but the land keeps calling me. Plus, I want to be here when you start with the horses. I want to see how young Bella goes. Not you. I taught you already. We’re making history. Three generations of horsemen and horsewomen. Have to be politically correct these days.” He puffed his chest out proudly.
I grinned. “I never thought of it like that. I can’t wait.”
“I know we aren’t talking young kids here. You don’t have ponies. Unless you want to get some.”
“No, I guess I’ve meant the riding school to work with a little older age bracket.”
“Good, good. Work with the horses you got. What’s the new horse you got coming?”
“A couple of beauties. One smaller chestnut and one bigger chestnut.”
My father’s eyes lit up. “Two chestnuts. They will be something to behold. I’ll give you some tips to keep their coats nice and shiny. They can get a little dull in the sunshine.”
“I’m glad we’re working together, Dad.”
He pressed his lips together. “It’s how it should be done. Father and son working together. Come on. I’m hungry, and I need you to whip me up one of those toasted sandwiches you’ve become good at making.”
“All right, let’s go, old man.”
I admired my property as we walked. I could hear the water rushing on the east side. You had to walk down the side to get near it. If there was enough water from the mountain, it ran down. Spring flowers were blooming bright in the front yard. The bees were out in full force, buzzing around, collecting their nectar.
We ate lunch and filled our stomachs, and we talked farm shop, discussing what we might need for the stables in the way of equipment. We also discussed that we might need a stable hand to help with the horses. By the time he left, it was time for daddy duties and to pick Bella up from school.
My phone buzzed as I wrote down everything we talked about. I retrieved my phone from my pocket, a knot forming when I saw it was Diego.
“Hey, Diego. How are you, brother?”
“Hey, I’m good. Really good. I heard a rumor, and I wanted to hear if it was true.”
“Go ahead. Hit me with it.”
Diego paused. “Are you starting a riding school?”
“Yes. I am.” I was puzzled by the call.
“When are you opening? Back in Argentina, I rode when I was a little boy. I wouldn’t mind doing it again.”
“You want to be in? You can ride anytime, though, Diego. It would be free. No charge.”
“No. I’m bringing a crew with me. You know, to help advertise. You’ve taken enough losses. Hector has turned out to be a good worker. He brought in some new business, too. Let me help out. We Spanish like a horse or two.”
I laughed. I was touched by the call. “I’m glad that’s what the call was about. I didn’t want any bullshit,” I warned.
“Relax, brother. Ryder is pissed with Vlad for letting the Russians let that little bitch get away. He’s on punishment.” Diego laughed.
“I don’t care if he is or not. Just keep Las Balas crew away from my property. That’s what he promised. I’ll die for mine. Either that or I’m going back to prison.”
“Neither. Not going to happen. You have a lot going for you. We can’t let that happen.”
“Sorry to cut it short, Diego. Give me a couple of weeks, and I’ll have a date you can bring them through.”
“Okay, brother. Take care.”
“You, too.”
I had the support of the brotherhood—good to know. I grabbed my car keys to pick up Bella. As I drove to pick up my baby girl, I hoped I’d seen the last of all the shooting and violence. I’d seen and been around enough to last me a lifetime. I waited patiently as I heard the schoolyard bell ring. Ten minutes later, I saw Bella bounce out of the front doors with a bookbag twice the size of her. I would need to do something about that. She opened the car door.
“Daddy! Guess what?”
I grinned as she hugged me. “What, baby?”
“In two weeks, we have bring a parent day! Will you come?”
“What’s a parent day about?” I asked as I pulled off into the Merced streets.
“You come in and talk about what you do. You can talk about our hor
ses and the farm. I told my friends to come and ride with us,” she said confidently. I saw her beautiful eyes light up as she started kicking her legs around like she does when she’s excited.
I squeezed her little leg, and she giggled. “Daddy, that tickles!”
“I think that’s a great idea. I would love to. Just remind me when it is. We got two new horses coming next week, too. I need you to name them. I think you should name the Palominos, as well.”
She hummed, her little voice music to my ears. “I did already.”
Surprised, I raised my eyebrows as we turned into our driveaway. “You named the horses already?”
“Yes.” She smiled and kept humming. My kid was a trip.
“What did you name them?”
“Let’s go inside, and I’ll tell you,” she giggled.
“Okay, you win.”
I parked the car, and we stepped inside.
“Can I have a ham and cheese sandwich for a snack?”
“Yes, honey, you can.” I opened the fridge, and Bella ducked under my arm to get the ingredients out. “You still haven’t told me the names of the horses.”
“Okay.” Bella grabbed a piece of cheese and bit into it, sneakily looking at me to see if I would be mad. I just smiled at her.
“One of the horses has a long tail, so I named him Long Straw. The other one has the hole in its ear, so I named it Nip. The third one is Caramel.”
Bella saw what I saw for the most part. Her names made me double over in laughter. “You are so clever. You named him Long Straw.”
“Daddy, you’re going red in the face. Yup. Long Straw.”
I wiped the laughing tears from my eyes. “I can’t help it. I never knew about these names. How come?” I buttered the toast on both sides, added the ham and cheese, then placed the sandwiches in the waffle maker. These prison sandwiches that I learned to make ended up being a hit with Bella.
“Because you didn’t ask me,” Bella replied simply. “I’m putting my book bag away.” She stamped off and came back minutes later.