Felix

by Terry Bolryder

  Felix went quiet, the promise of someone understanding him tempting him just a bit to open his hard shell.

  He shook his head. “It doesn’t matter now. She’s gone.”

  “She’ll be back, though, won’t she?” Benny asked. “If she wants to kill you, you clearly have history.”

  Felix put his hands on his hips impatiently, letting the blanket hang from his shoulders. “A lot of people want to kill me.”

  “At least tell me why you had to have her so bad that you were doing it in the rain in the middle of business hours where anyone could have seen you. Or why, after Max interrupted, you pouted outside for the rest of the night.”

  Felix turned his back on Benny then, not having anything to say. He opened the door to go up the stairs and was surprised when he heard Benny follow him.

  “We’re friends, Fifi. Aren’t we?” Benny called from behind him. “Come on, tell me at least a little of what’s going on.”

  When they were up in Felix’s apartment, he whirled on the stubborn bear. “Look, I know you think you’ve found the answer to everything, but things between Diana and I aren’t as simple as things were with you and Harley.”

  “Why?” Benny asked, taking a seat in a comfy chair and clearly in no hurry to leave.

  Felix snorted, then took a seat across from him. He supposed if he had to talk to someone, Benny would be the best option.

  The bear knew how to keep secrets, having kept one of his own for many years.

  “She was supposed to be dead,” Felix said, getting a misty look in his eyes as he remembered their moments in the rain. “I thought she was a ghost.”

  Benny snorted. “You were hitting the alcohol pretty hard tonight. The rest of us worry about you sometimes.”

  Felix looked to the side, disbelieving. They all had mates. They’d found happiness. Lock and Tasha had even misguidedly rescued Felix, thinking he would want to be saved.

  They all had their happily-ever-afters, but there was nothing happy left for an assassin who had already made the choice to sacrifice everything good in his life.

  He was glad his sister had grown up safe and found happiness, and avoided the garbage pile that was his childhood, but he also couldn’t help feeling bitter at everything he’d lost.

  “Why did you think she was dead?” Benny asked solemnly.

  “Her whole pack was wiped out,” Felix said quietly.

  “Ah,” Benny said, shifting nervously. “Does that have anything to do with her wanting to kill you?”

  “I don’t know,” Felix said. “A long time ago, I hurt her. I was trying to keep her safe. Clearly, I failed. Perhaps that’s why she wants to kill me. Still, I had nothing to do with her supposed death or her pack’s downfall. From what I heard, they tried to take on a rival pack.”

  “It wasn’t the Tribunal?”

  Felix shook his head. “Not as far as I know. I tried to put the Tribunal off their scent.”

  Benny leaned back with a sigh. “You said you hurt her.”

  Felix looked out the window at the rain, which was still falling. It matched his mood. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

  “Was she your mate?”

  Felix glared at him, wondering why he and Max had come to the same conclusion.

  “It’s just not like you to get involved with someone or be so intense about them,” Benny said. “You’ve been here a couple months now, and for all your flirtation and overly sexual remarks, you haven’t actually taken anyone upstairs.”

  Felix shrugged one shoulder carelessly. “I’m picky.”

  “Maybe,” Benny said. “Or maybe you had a mate once, and no one measures up to her.”

  Felix looked away, not liking how close his friend had just gotten to the truth. He liked hiding his true self from others. Liked them to think him a flippant, promiscuous jerk.

  It was safer.

  “I’d like to be alone now,” Felix said quietly. “If you please.”

  Benny let out a huff but clearly saw that Felix wasn’t budging. With a low sigh of frustration, he left, slowly shutting the door behind him with a click.

  Felix pulled a chair over to the window to look out at the rain. It was peaceful, knowing she was still out there.

  He was glad she hated him.

  It meant she’d be back.

  * * *

  “Don’t make us regret taking you in.” Byron, Diana’s boss, glared at her across the sterile metal desk in his office, menace emanating off of him in waves. “I took you in when no one else wanted to, all because you promised you could do this one thing.”

  “I can do it,” she insisted, though her heart wasn’t entirely sure.

  “I thought you hated him,” Byron said, eyes gleaming. “I didn’t think you’d give him a chance to escape.”

  “I wasn’t sure I could take him,” she said simply. “He’s strong. Incredibly strong. I’ll need time to figure out how to beat him.”

  “When you were a simple wolf, maybe I would have believed you, but with what you are now…”

  “I don’t even fully understand what I am now,” she said, setting her knife down on the desk.

  “Then maybe you should do your duty as a female and leave the mission to someone more qualified.”

  She slammed both hands down on the desktop furiously. She hadn’t suffered so long, come so far, just to let everything slip out of her hands now. “I’m the only one who is qualified. He trusts me… due to our past together.”

  Her boss leaned back in his chair, a shrewd look in his eyes. “A past you still haven’t explained to me.” He exhaled slowly. “But very well. You can try again. Heaven knows I don’t have any volunteers wanting to go up against Darkness.”

  She flinched at the name Felix’s enemies used for him, but it was apt. He came with a sword, and the last thing anyone saw was darkness. His alpha power of putting people to sleep was one of the hardest to beat.

  Her invisibility had been the only thing that stopped him from catching her.

  “Just remember,” Byron said, standing and walking around the desk to put his hands delicately on her shoulders. “If you betray us, you’ll wish you’d never come to us. Got that?”

  She fought back a shudder as she nodded.

  “Good,” he said, patting her lightly as he went to open the door to let her out. “So when are you going back to get more info?”

  She’d known not to come to him without a plan.

  Leaning close to him, she muttered it in his ear, watching as his lips curled up in a grin.

  “It’s perfect,” he said, pulling back from her. “He’ll never see it coming.”

  Byron held the door for her as she left, then leaned on the frame as she walked down the hallway.

  When she was finally back to her room, a sparse little cube with no window and spare metal furnishings, she plopped down on her bed with a sigh.

  Now that no one was watching, she could finally let down her guard.

  Finally sit back and listen to the rain outside, slide her hand in her pants, and think about how it had felt to have Felix’s fingers there, driving her crazy as he always had.

  She moaned, arching back as she remembered his face, so intense, filled with longing.

  Had he really missed her? Had he actually wanted her as much as she wanted him?

  Then why hadn’t he been there for her when she needed him so badly?

  Her hand withdrew, leaving her aching the way she’d been after Felix had brought her to orgasm up against a wall.

  He hadn’t even flinched from her knife.

  I missed you.

  She closed her eyes in pain at the words so softly spoken, felt the echo of them in her own heart.

  She missed who he used to be. She missed being able to dream about him. She missed having one person who was there for her.

  She curled over and pulled her blanket up around her as she stared at the blank wall to the side of her bed.

  It was too late for silly
, girlish dreams.

  Chapter 5

  The Past

  Felix glared as the wolf girl’s family came back in from outside, laughing and talking amongst themselves, completely unaware of what had been going on without them.

  He couldn’t believe they would be so stupid as to feel relaxed simply because Felix was tied with some rope or threatened by a gun.

  As if either of those things could stop him.

  Diana was standing to the side of him, and he could sense she was trembling, hoping none of them would pick up on what she’d just done.

  She’d almost fraternized with the “Tribunal dog.”

  Felix wanted to reach out and comfort her, which was an odd impulse for an assassin.

  “Did you get in touch with your contacts?” Diana asked with barely any nervousness detectable in her voice.

  Her father sat down in a rough wooden chair, making it creak. “It’s not your concern. Men’s business.”

  Felix scowled. “I rather think it is her concern, as she is the one who caught me.”

  “You shut up, pretty boy,” Bernard said, coming up to where Felix sat in his chair, shoving a finger in Felix’s chest as he glared up at him.

  Bernard shook his head and went to sit in the other free chair, but his eyes were still resting on Felix, and Felix didn’t like the way he was looking at him.

  Or the way he looked at Diana.

  “Diana will do what’s expected of her,” her father said, leaning back with supreme confidence. “Of course, I mean to find a good match if possible. One that would benefit Diana and the pack. Once we figure out what to do with the Tribunal’s top assassin, that is.”

  Felix looked over to see how Diana was taking this, but she was simply resting against a table, studying her nails.

  Bernard smirked. “We’ve already had an offer. While we were in town seeing who’d pay most for the Tribunal scum, we found out Bristleton pack is looking for a mate for their alpha.”

  “What would they give us in return?” Diana asked.

  “Well, mostly money, but with that, we can do a lot,” her father said. “Besides, it’s a good pack. I’ve heard good things about the alpha. It would be smart to be allied with them. However, we do have prestige right now, having captured the assassin. We should use it. Get an even better offer.” Her father grinned.

  Bernard bristled, but stayed quiet, as if he knew the topic was done.

  Felix was used to a lot of gross things after being raised in the Tribunal, but some things still really set him off.

  Wolves bartering their family members like they were chattel was one of them.

  He’d do anything to protect his sister or other women in his life. He didn’t know why these wolves didn’t feel the same.

  “You’re quiet over there,” the father said, looking at Felix. “Plotting escape? You’ll find those ropes hard to break. And I’m sure you know better than to shift. It’d be three on one.”

  Felix nodded, trying to look convincingly caught. “I know. You can do what you want with me.” He blinked. “And what is it you want to do?”

  “Kill you,” the father said. “Or sell you to someone who can kill you. Take an asset from the Tribunal, if possible.”

  Felix didn’t believe him. Despite his big talk, he sensed this man was overall good. He couldn’t really say the same for Bernard. “Why do you want to attack the Tribunal?”

  There were good and bad reasons for coming after the wolves who ruled over their kind.

  “My mother,” Diana said quickly as her father let out a hiss.

  “We don’t owe him an explanation,” her father said.

  Felix sighed, unable to blame this man for his hatred. His wife had apparently been one of many accidentally killed by the Tribunal.

  They’d had scientists working on a secret project, and it had ramifications no one could have intended.

  “I’m sorry for what happened to your wife,” Felix said carefully. “But I would highly recommend you let your vendetta go and release me.”

  “So you could kill us all?” The father laughed. “I don’t think so.”

  “You won’t win against the Tribunal,” Felix said. “If you kill me, they have other assassins.”

  “You’re their best. Besides, isn’t the leader your uncle?”

  Felix colored. “Maybe.”

  “It’ll hurt to lose you,” the father said. “They’ll feel a bit of what I feel.”

  Or not, since they were a whole family of sociopaths. For the most part.

  Bernard stood abruptly, walking over to Felix and glaring down at him in his chair. “We could mess him up a little too. Humiliate him.”

  Felix raised an eyebrow at the wolf, at the hungry look in his eyes. Felix didn’t know why his pheromones were strong enough to work on both males and females, but it happened enough that he was almost bored of it by now. “What did you have in mind?”

  He could feel Diana watching him. Did they ever threaten her as well?

  Diana’s father stood, walking over to Bernard. “Just what are you suggesting?”

  Bernard shrugged, looking chagrined. “Not that I would enjoy it. I just thought we could mess him up, for revenge sake. Come on, Dirk.”

  Dirk, Diana’s father, didn’t seem as though he could be more disgusted. “We don’t assault people, Bernard.”

  “But you kill them?” Felix muttered, begrudgingly having to give Dirk a point for his stance on rape.

  “I will if I have to. For revenge,” Dirk said. “A life for a life. They took my life, but I still have my honor. Everything will be done according to wolf custom.”

  Felix felt a bit of admiration for this alpha and his old-school tactics. The Tribunal had long since lost any sense of honor at all.

  “But you would sell your daughter,” Felix said, testing him.

  Dirk raised an eyebrow. “Not sold. Bartered. That is how things work when matches need to be made. There are no alphas here for her to mate with. It’s for her benefit as well as our own. We live a simple life here. Something I’m sure you Tribunal pigs could never understand since you have everything. Multiple alpha females per family, a high concentration of alpha males.”

  “True,” Felix said simply. He eyed Bernard, who seemed angry about how this conversation had gone. He was clearly the pack beta and apparently had no alpha blood as well.

  Bernard’s hands clenched into fists, and he turned and walked out of the cabin, slamming the door behind him.

  Felix looked at Diana, who was still studying her nails, and then at her father, who was appraising Felix shrewdly.

  “What should we do with you overnight? Are you going to give us trouble? If you escape, we’ll just come after you.”

  Felix cocked his head, wondering how they could be naive enough to think they could stop him. “I’m not going to escape.” He wriggled slightly. “I’m tied up, aren’t I?”

  Both Diana and Dirk gave him wary glances, and then Diana walked over to her father, giving him a slight hug.

  Dirk tensed, then patted her on the back awkwardly.

  “It’s okay,” Diana said. “I’ll stay and watch him.”

  Dirk looked torn. Then he nodded, rubbing his stubbled chin. “I have things to check on. Pack complaints. Otherwise, I would do it.”

  “I’m happy to help you, Father,” she said gently, and Felix caught his breath at the admiration in her eyes.

  Clearly, she’d been trying to do her best to make up for the loss of her mother.

  A mother she never should have lost. Guilt hit him hard, though he hadn’t had anything to do with the disastrous virus that had hurt so many alpha females.

  Dirk and Diana moved to the side of the room to talk, and Felix rested with his eyes closed, trying not to eavesdrop.

  When Dirk left, shutting the door behind him, the cabin was empty except for Felix and Diana, lit by dim lamplight.

  She walked to the corner and opened a drawer, pulled out a nightshi
rt, and began to change.

  Felix stared in shock. “You expect me to just look away or something?”

  She shook her head. “I don’t care what you do.” Her curves were revealed for a small moment as she pulled the shirt over her head, letting it fall to midthigh.

  “You’re not afraid to sleep here with a dangerous assassin?”

  “If you could have escaped already, you would have,” she said simply. “Besides, I need to be able to keep an eye on things when my dad has to go over the hill to the other pack members. It won’t be the first time I’ve bedded down here.”

  “I can’t believe he would just leave you alone.”

  “As you saw when I captured you, I’m capable of taking care of myself.”

  But she didn’t look that way.

  Especially in that too-big nightshirt as she rolled out a blanket on a worn pad on the floor.

  “So I’m to sleep in the chair, then?”

  She nodded at him, stifling a yawn as she reached over to turn out the lamp, plunging them into darkness. “Sorry.”

  But he didn’t think she was.

  “Sure you don’t want to experiment with me any further?” He wiggled his eyebrows. “No one’s around.”

  She let out a little huff. “You’re a dog of the Tribunal. You played on my pheromones. That’s all.”

  “Oh, come on, you like me, at least a little,” Felix teased. “If you let me out so I can sleep on your mat, I promise not to run away.”

  She snorted. “What would that be worth? The promise of a Tribunal lackey. Someone who has betrayed their own kind.”

  “You don’t know anything about me,” Felix said calmly. “It’s a mistake to think that you do.”

  “I know that you work for the worst organization on Earth. That’s enough for me.”

  There was a pause, and then Felix sighed. “I’m sorry about your mother.”

  She shrugged, making her blanket rustle. “It was a long time ago.”

  That didn’t change anything. Loss didn’t really go away with time. It just… changed.