His heart hurt at the thought of that because she deserved far better than him.
“The other alphas are all old. I won’t ever enjoy being mated to them. Besides, I’m sure they’re cruel. I’ve heard stories.”
Felix didn’t know what to say, so he just tried to ignore the way his dick was throbbing. He’d never lost control, and he didn’t intend to now.
But her round, beautiful eyes were so pleading as they looked up at him. He could see her pulse pounding at the base of her delicate neck.
“You held me. You’re nice to me. I know I should hate you, but my wolf doesn’t.”
“Diana, we can’t—”
She put a hand to his lips, and the touch only electrified him further. “No one has to know. I know that you have your world and I have mine, but you feel that there’s something between us, right? I try not to think about it, but it’s there. Ever since you saved me. I think about it when I sleep. You held me that night. I wish you were holding me every night.”
“Diana—”
“You want me,” she said, tugging him closer to her. He wasn’t strong enough to pull away anymore. “I know you do.”
“Of course I do,” he said. “Anyone would want you.”
“I don’t care if they do,” she said, pulling him down so their lips were only a hair’s breadth apart. “All my stupid heart wants is this Tribunal assassin.” Her hands tightened in his shirt, and her breath grew rapid. “If I can’t have him, it feels like I’m going to die.”
Felix ached to close the distance, to take her lips and then everything else. To give her all the pleasure she was asking for. “I did make a pack’s promise to protect you…”
Her laugh was a breath on the wind. “Protect me from unhappiness, then. Give me what I want, because I may never have it again.”
“I’ll give you what I can,” he said. “That will have to be enough.”
She nodded. “Yes.”
He’d give her a kiss. Nothing more.
But as he closed his lips over hers, he felt the ground open up beneath him. Like nothing he knew was real anymore. Like the only real thing was her skin, warm and soft against his. Her small moans as she licked at his lips, trying to deepen the kiss.
The way even the trees seemed to condemn him as he pulled her in close.
Chapter 16
The Present
Felix looked down in confusion at the duffle bag in Diana’s hand, wondering why she was standing at his door early in the morning after running away from him just the night before.
“I need somewhere to stay,” she said quietly, not meeting his eyes. Her short hair was ruffled by the wind, and she was wearing a simple windbreaker and jeans, not the assassin garb she’d had on lately.
He leaned against the doorframe, feeling like this needed further investigation. “What made you change your mind? Last night, I couldn’t get you to stay no matter what.”
“Your sister,” she said, surprising him.
When he’d sent Tasha in to make sure Diana was okay, he hadn’t thought they would talk much.
“How could she persuade you when I couldn’t?”
“She’s pleasant,” Diana said, pushing past him and into his apartment. She dropped her duffel on the ground and stretched, looking relaxed. “She made some good points as well.”
Felix shut the door, did up the deadbolt, and then slumped into a chair as he watched Diana make herself at home by exploring every corner of the room.
“Nice place,” she said. “When I was here last night, I was sort of… distracted.”
“I’m glad you like it,” Felix said. “Benny’s a good friend. Exactly what I needed when the whole world fell out beneath me.”
She leveled her dark gaze on him, tantalizing him with those long lashes. “I thought you hated that world. Lock said you were trapped there.”
Felix rubbed the back of his head, wishing he still had his long hair at times like this. “It was the only world I knew. I planned to stay there for the rest of my days. I never planned on escaping.”
“But it was a good thing, though, right?” She grabbed her bag and carried it over to the dresser. “Can I take the second drawer?”
Felix waved a hand. “Sure. Just move whatever you want.” He stared, amused, as she pulled out his underwear and moved it with his socks in the top drawer.
Moving in with Diana. Something he’d never imagined. Especially when she’d come back hating him. So why the change?
“You’ll forgive me for being skeptical,” he said. “You wanted to kill me when you came back, but now you’re okay with living with me?”
“I was bitter,” she said softly, pausing in taking things out of her bag. “But I realize now there’s no point in remaining angry. I am what I am, and that’s not going to change.” She finished putting clothes away and looked over at him. “Why, do you not want me here now that you know I’m a wyvern?”
“It does throw a wrench in things,” Felix said, folding his arms over his chest. “But no, of course I still want you here. One benefit of being a world-renowned assassin is that I can fight off anyone who would come for you.”
Her eyes shuttered as she passed him and walked into the bathroom, unloading more of her things there. “No one knows I exist. Except for my current friends.”
“And they’re okay with you being here? Why did you seem afraid of them?”
“They weren’t imprisoning me,” she said, shaking her head. “They were just the only place I had to go. No one wants a wyvern around. Even now that the Tribunal has fallen.”
“Can anyone tell you’re a wyvern?”
“Only the boss there. The rest can tell something is off with me, but they don’t know what.”
“Can you…? Do you…?” He sucked in a breath, not wanting to even say it out loud. “Is your fully shifted form like other wyverns?”
“I wouldn’t know,” she said. “I’ve always fought the transformation. Made my captors furious. All I’ve ever seen are the wings and claws.”
“So they injected you with dragon blood?”
She nodded.
He slumped forward, running both hands through his hair, pulling at it to relieve some of the tension in his heart.
“Hey,” she said, unzipping her windbreaker to show a white tee shirt underneath. “Why do you look like someone just took your candy away?”
He laughed, looking up at her. “Things are still strange for me. I was just adjusting to being in this world, and then you came here. And I’m glad. Don’t get me wrong. But I’m still dealing with the fact that you may be alive, but I still failed you. Because what they turned you into… it’s really unfair. It’s the last thing anyone should want to be.”
She sat on the bed, not looking at all offended by his statement. Just resigned. Her dark skin was glowing in the light that streamed through the blinds, and Felix felt the urge to go over and put his hands in her short, tousled locks.
“Do you think there’s a way to fix it?”
She looked at him. “Do you?”
“I just meant… you were in a lab, presumably. Did they ever talk about it?”
“No,” she said. “But I know I was different from some others. The others they experimented on, they let them go. They wanted to be wyverns. They took the blood willingly. They didn’t care if they were monsters as long as they had power. And then they went out to fight and never came back. They were treated as disposable.”
Felix nodded. “I always got that impression. That’s why I never liked the wyvern project. I didn’t know they were injecting wolves who hadn’t volunteered.”
“I was a special case,” she said with a shrug. “Winslow wanted me experimented on. He wanted me to be a wyvern.”
A jolt went through Felix at hearing the name of the man he hated most in the world. “That’s right. Last night, you said it was Winslow.”
She nodded. “That’s why I was so mad at you. Winslow said you had given him my loc
ation. I thought you’d betrayed us.”
Felix raised an eyebrow. “But he only took you?”
“My father tried to fight him, but he was killed. I have no idea what happened to the rest of the pack. You said they were killed by a rival pack. By the time I was free, all traces were long gone.”
“I’m sorry about your father,” Felix said. He stood and walked over to her, grasping her hands and squeezing them in his. “But I never, ever told Winslow about you. I was planning to still check on you. I was never planning to let you get hurt.” He closed his eyes softly. “How did he even know where you were?”
“He might have found out about your mission.”
Felix swallowed, his throat tight. “If he was still alive, I would kill him.”
“Right,” she said, grinning. “Well, I did manage at least one thing while in captivity.”
“That was you?” Felix shook his head in disbelief. “I was told he had died on a mission.”
She snorted, folding her arms. “A mission to personally torture and humiliate me.”
Shame racked Felix as he released her hands and walked to the window, thousands of memories flooding through him as he looked at the cloudy day and the bleak colors of the pavement and nearby buildings.
“I never knew,” Felix said. “I suppose if he had gotten any hint that there was something between us… then sheer jealousy might have taken over.”
“Jealousy over me?” She lowered her brows in confusion. “Why? He didn’t know me.”
Felix shook his head, bracing one hand on the windowsill as even thinking about Winslow now made him lightheaded. “Jealous over me. He always was.”
She was quiet for a long moment, and Felix was wondering if she was blaming him even more for all that she’d suffered.
“I left you because I thought it would protect you,” Felix said. “It appears I did the opposite.”
He heard her get up behind him. Heard her footsteps coming closer. God, he could smell her. Sweet. Floral. Clean. Just a hint of something dark that made the whole scent even more gorgeous.
He looked over his shoulder just as she put her arms around him, pressing her face into his back.
“Who was he to you?” she asked.
Felix fisted his hand as it rested on the window frame, trying to fight back terrible images. “He was a lot of things. I’m not sure how to explain it.”
It was odd for Felix to feel like he could confide in someone. He wasn’t sure he could bear to talk about some things.
“Tell me everything that happened,” he said. “Tell me how he found you.”
Her hands tightened on him slightly, and it felt so good to just have her body against him that he could have cried.
“He came a few days after you left. Said that you had turned me in for treason.”
Felix’s eyes closed. “No.”
“Yes,” she said softly. “He said I’d been a fool if I thought you were actually in love with me. He said I had to go with him. My father and I tried to fight, but—”
“He was strong,” Felix said. “Plus, he had equipment you couldn’t hope to have.”
“Guns,” she said. “With darts that could nullify shifting or put someone out.”
Felix nodded. “It was hopeless.” He shook his head. “I knew Winslow was crazy, but I never thought he would go after you. I would have gutted him, and damn the consequences.”
“Why couldn’t you come with me?” Her grip tightened even farther, and the sky overhead cracked with thunder and it began to rain.
“I told you,” he said. “There was no escape for me. And I thought you would go on and live a normal life like I couldn’t. Plus, there was Tasha…”
“So you chose your sister over me.”
“I chose the route I thought was safest for both you and my sister.”
“And if you’d known it wasn’t?”
He put an arm down over hers, keeping her hand against him, not wanting her to leave when she heard his answer. “I don’t know. I think I would have tried to save you. I don’t think I could have helped myself. But the threat of leaving Tasha alone with Winslow… knowing he could do to her what he’d done to me… The option of leaving was never there.”
She stiffened but didn’t pull away from him. “Then why did you ever get involved with me? I wasn’t the most beautiful girl you’d met, and—”
“You were the most beautiful,” he said. “Still are. And the more I got to be with you, the more I couldn’t resist having a taste of the life I could have had without the Tribunal. I thought I would be able to come back and visit you, to protect you until you found a more suitable alpha.”
“And you were okay with that?” There was hurt in her words, and he whirled on her, taking her softly by both arms.
“I was never okay with it. I was never okay with anything that happened in my life to that point. I didn’t get to make choices like other people. There was no escape for me.” He closed his eyes against the pain and then opened them slowly. “Although, after you died—after I thought you died—I didn’t make the same mistake again. I never let anyone get close. Even now.”
“You let me close then and now,” she said softly, looking up at him with those sparkling brown irises that reminded him of little galaxies.
“I did. I will.”
“Why?”
“Because if there was one thing in my life that I wanted, that I would have had if it were possible, it was being with you.” He stroked a stray hair back, loving the feel of any part of her. “I can’t believe he had you and I didn’t know it.”
“It was an odd lab,” she said. “I got the feeling we were separate. Still, I had no idea he could find me without you sending him. I hated you for so many nights.”
“How long were you imprisoned?”
“Years,” she said. “It wasn’t always awful. Some of the scientists let me use the gym and watch TV. Play video games. It was actually worse when I got out.”
“Why?”
“Because no one wanted me around,” she said. “My pack was long gone, and everyone could smell that something was wrong with me. That I was defective, though I made sure not to show them what I truly was.”
“Except your current place.”
“Right.” She sighed. “I’ve been with them for years now, and it’s probably the best place so far. I still think they hope to force me to mate one of them.”
“Over my dead body,” Felix said fiercely.
She sighed as she looked up at him, slowly stepping out of his arms. “I wanted to spend a few days together, but I’m still not sure what I’m doing long term. I just wanted to figure things out with you. Spend some time away from the compound. Your sister… she was really nice.”
“She is,” Felix said with a smile. “And I won’t force you to make any promises. Any day I get with you is probably one more day than I deserve. I’ll take anything.”
She winced at that but quickly recovered. “Felix, I’m not sure if…”
“If you can forgive me? If things can be okay again? If you’re doing the right thing by even trusting me?”
She slowly nodded. “All of the above.”
“It’s okay,” he said, stepping forward and pulling her into a warm hug. Every time he touched her, it felt even more right. “I’ll take what I can get.”
She rested her head on his chest, and he could feel his heart beating against her cheek. “We’ll take it one day at a time, then.”
“Yes. One day at a time.”
Chapter 17
Diana knew she’d made the right decision in telling her boss she wanted to get closer to do surveillance on Felix, but as Felix’s friends grilled her on her intentions, she couldn’t help feeling a bit nervous.
She’d told Byron she needed some time to study Felix. That typical assassination techniques wouldn’t work.
Except, even as she’d told Byron her plan, she wasn’t sure she could ever go through with it.
She’d thought she wanted one thing for a long time now. But being with Felix made her want something else.
He hadn’t even turned her away for being a wyvern. Any other Tribunal member would have killed her the second they found out.
Then again, she was realizing his life in the Tribunal was not what she’d imagined.
And what was his connection with Winslow? Could she really believe Felix when he said he hadn’t ratted her out?
Why would Winslow target her?
“So what are you going to do here?” Max, a surly lion shifter that was the most suspicious of her, leaned back in his chair as he pinned her with a glare.
Felix had brought her down to the club for their pre-shift meeting to get to know everyone else.
It was going pretty well, except for Max.
“I’m just taking some time off,” she said. “It’s no big deal.”
“I saw you outside when you were trying to kill him,” Max said.
“Was I trying to kill him?” she asked, raising an eyebrow. “Is that what it smelled like?”
The big man got a deep flush on his tanned cheeks, and one long strand of hair fell over his face. His hair was magnificent, like a mane. It reminded her of how long Felix’s had been. “No.”
“Obviously, I’m a little conflicted,” she said. “And if none of you want me around, I’ll figure out some other way to see Felix.”
“It’s not that,” said Jackie, Max’s mate, a black woman with soft eyes and a soft body and a soft smile. “We just worry about our friend.”
Diana bit her lip. “I’m not going to hurt him.”
For now.
“See?” Jackie leaned in against Max, making the huge man soften. “It’s fine.”
Tasha was smiling at her too, sitting next to Lock, who looked nervous. Tasha’s silver-blond hair reminded Diana of Felix. So did her mischievous smile. “I have a good feeling about all of this.”
Harley, a redhead with bright-green eyes who was mated to the burly co-owner, a bear named Benny, smiled too. “I think it’s great that we’ve all found someone to add to our little family. We can use all the help we can get.”
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