I smile. “Yes, it’s the bathroom.” She opens the door and quickly shuts it. “What’s wrong?” I ask nervously.
She ignores me, opening the door again, and then nods. “Nothing, making sure I saw what I thought I saw.”
“What? What’d you see?”
“My gosh,” she gasps. “Why is Nathan’s bathroom this big?”
Natalia chuckles. “It came with the room. Everyone’s room they start with is usually the room they keep until they leave or bring home their mates. Most of my children have convinced their mates to come here instead of them leaving the family, and they prefer to choose the bigger rooms for their comfort. But Nathan’s had this room since he could tie his shoes.”
I eye her oddly for using the term so loosely.
Mom nods, pulling the bathroom door closed. “Tracey, that bathroom is huge.”
“No, Mom, wait until you see the closet.”
“Would this be the same closet that has clothes in it for you?”
“If you’re going to be weird about this, I’m not going to show it to you.”
“I am going to be weird about this, but only because you did not tell me about this before you started progressing in your relationship to the point where you can have clothes at your boyfriend’s house.”
I pull her to the closet. “You’re right, Mother. I’m sorry.”
Entering the closet first, she melts. Mom is a clothes fanatic. True shopaholic!
“Oh my goodness, Tracey Nicole. This closet is the size of your bedroom at home.”
“I know right!”
“Yes! You and Nathan have so many clothes.” She glides her hand over the dresses to our right. “He has it sectioned off like a his-and-her closet.” Her voice shakes a little and I veer to look at her face. She pinches her nose and averts, trying to hide her red turning eyes.
“Oh, Mom. You are not going to do this right now. Don’t cry.” A thick lump forms in my throat, and I swallow hard. It bursts, burning on its way back down. I hate to see her tear up.
She doesn’t respond immediately. “I’m not,” she softly croaks. “It is just a lot for a mom to take in. When her only child grows up, has a boyfriend, and she’s never had one before, invites him home, and brings me to meet his family. I’m suddenly made aware she has been sleeping over here, and then it kicks in. It all sinks in as I look at an organized closet with her stuff and his stuff as if you two are married.” A quiet sob escapes her. I wouldn’t have heard it had it not been for these ears.
I wrap my arms around her, needing to embrace her, needing her to feel my loving embrace. She hugs me back, squeezing me tightly. “Don’t cry, Mom. I’m sorry I didn’t include you.” Her heartbreak ways heavy on me. She’s always been here, and I’ve always talked to her about everything. For me to leave her out of one of the most important decisions of my life shows just how selfish I’ve been. Or negligent.
“It’s okay, honey. I’m glad Nathan has someone like you. Before, your father and I may have made it seem as if you were not enough for him. As if Nathan was more than you can handle, taking into consideration his age and endeavors and you know our concerns about maturity. But that’s not the case, Tracey. You are more than enough.” She pulls back to look at me and rubs her hands over my cheeks. “Perfect in every way. Nathan better make sure he treats you right, he would be hurting himself if he hurts you.”
If she only knew how true that is. I step back as she dabs under her eyes. “You want to see the best part of this closet? Besides the clothes.” I smile, trying to lighten the mood. I don’t want to cry, and watching her blink away her tears will make me.
A proud smile spreads across her face. “Yes,” she chirps.
I take her shoulders, turning her around to face the door-sized mirror that sits on the back of Nathan’s closet door.
Her mouth falls open. “Oh. My. Goodness,” she whispers.
“I know. Every woman’s dream mirror, right?”
“Tracey, yes. This is the best part about this entire room.”
She cleans the tears and smudged mascara from her beautiful almond-shaped eyes. “Honey, I like Nathan. I love the light in both your eyes when you look at each other. You both have my blessing.” She looks at me through the mirror. “And yes, I will talk to your father.”
I rise on my tiptoes to kiss her cheek. Hugging her around her shoulder, I smile at her reflection, saying, “Thanks. You’re the best Mom ever.”
“I love you too,” she asserts, turning to kiss my forehead. “Let’s go. Nathan’s Mom is out there waiting for us.” We leave from the closet, finding Natalia sitting at Nathan’s computer playing solitaire.
“Sorry we took so long,” Mom tells her. “It was a lot to take in.”
Natalia turns off the monitor and stands. “No apology needed. You two ready to head back downstairs?”
“Yes,” Mom answers, smoothing out her dress. “I have had my husband waiting long enough. Let’s go make sure your father has not scolded Nathan to dust.”
“Good point,” I agree.
To our astonishment, Dad’s sitting in a chair, silently listening to Nathan talk about his company and what they do. A nice, smooth conversation in which they’re both engaged. I don’t know why I didn’t think of that. Dad loves sole proprietorships. It’s one of the things he helps people interested in running their businesses establish.
Nathan looks to us, and Dad follows. Mom rubs her hand over his back as he stands, taking her side. Nathan comes over to me still standing by the living room’s doorway. I take his hand, getting my fill up.
“Did you see what Tracey needed to show you?” Dad asks Mom, pushing his hand over her back.
“Yes,” she answers. “Now, we can go.”
Guided by Taylor, they pass me, heading for the front door. “We’ll be in the car, Tracey,” Dad calls.
Not a second from them leaving the room, Scott scoffs, “You guys were walking the trail, huh?” He just couldn’t hold it.
Nathan laughs. “Yeah. That’s exactly what happened.”
“I doubt it,” Scott retorts.
“Where’d you two run off to?” Olar comes up behind us, bumping Nathan’s shoulder.
Glen stands, pulling Scott with her. “They took a walk on the trail,” she says snootily.
“What trail?”
“Exactly,” Glen retorts.
They leave Nathan and me in the room with Natalia and Roseland. “If you weren’t on the trail, where were you?” Natalia wastes no time digging into the truth.
“We were, Mom. Glen and Scott were kidding. Sparks’ dad was irking her. We left to calm her down so she wouldn’t set the dining room on fire.”
Nodding, she assents, “Good call. Tracey’s set enough things on fire around here.”
“Am I ever going to live down the kitchen?”
“No!” the three of them exclaim.
I press my lips together as I roll my eyes. “Natalia, thank you for intervening with my dad. And for what you said to my mom.”
“Of course, Tracey. I wanted to make sure they didn’t just hear it from you but from me too.”
“Thanks.” I hug her and wave bye to Roseland.
Nathan walks me to their front door and with our time we snuck away, and the blessing from Mom, I’m still in good spirits. Dad will have to work really hard to murder my mood.
Nathan grabs my waist, snagging my attention. “Glad you feel better.”
“You feel better?”
“Much. Thanks,” he drawls with his mood mellow and calm, face blank and relaxed, and eyes a smooth swirl of hazel. His shoulders slack as he leans against the wall.
“Thank yourself. And later, while we are sitting on the beach, you’re gonna tell me what’s been up with you.”
He leans his head against the wall and looks down at me through his lashes. “Okay, Sparks, anything you want.”
I turn away from him and pull open the front door. “I’m holding you to it.”
I chuckle. Unable to move, I wait for the trimmer to stop trickling down my body. “Every time you’re this close. This innocently close. My body hums from the ends of my hair to the tip of my toes. Every inch of my body quakes for you,” I mutter every word, as though they were my last, hoping the immobility will pass soon.
“Your body loves me as much as you do,” he drones. His mood alters. I can’t place it exactly, but its change concerns me.
I twist around. “You’re okay?”
“Of course.” He opens the door wider. “I’ll see you later.”
I pinch my lips to the side, eyeing him. “You’d tell me if something was up, right?”
I wait longer than I’m comfortable with for his answer. Scraping his nails against his beard, he turns down the corners of his mouth and nods.
“So, yes?” I push him to answer my question verbally.
“Yes.” Leaning forward, he plants a soft kiss to my cheek. “Call me later.”
“Fine,” I reply. “See you later.”
THE SILENCE IS NEARLY unbearable on the ride home. Mom and Dad have said nothing but goodbye since we left Nathan’s house. The least we can do is get a head start on this talk Dad is so adamant about having. “Okay, Dad. What’s up?” I start, seeing neither of them plans on kicking this thing off.
“I don’t know, Tracey,” he says, shaking his head.
“Mom?”
“We have already spoken, honey.” She’s right.
“Okay, then turn back around, and drop me off.” I hate this game. One minute, Dad wants to express himself and then the next he has nothing to say. He must want me to apologize, to explain my actions, or agree with his rejection of my relationship with Nathan. That’s not going to happen. I don’t know what’s gotten into him. He’s been such an asshole!
“Tracey, what has gotten into you?” he asks, tone clipped and high-pitched.
“Nothing, Dad. I just think you’re overthinking and overreacting about all of this. I’m not a child, and you’re treating me as one.”
“Tracey, you are also not an adult.”
“What makes me not?” I fire back.
“What you did back there was inappropriate.”
“No! What you did back there was inappropriate. You brought up a conversation that needed to be held between us. Not in front of Nathan’s entire family. It would’ve been different if it were only a talk between his mother and us. If you hadn’t done that, making me uncomfortable, I wouldn’t have had a reason to leave.”
“It was fact, Tracey. We are moving. What were you going to do, tell them at the last minute? Just leave?”
“I’m not leaving period,” I declare, letting the weight of my words settle. “And they already knew. How else would I’ve known that she’d welcome me?”
“Tracey, you cannot move in with their family. You don’t know anything about them! As you said, you don’t even know how to get around their house. How long have you and Nathan been together?” he questions rhetorically. “A week! Before you even think about taking those steps the least you can do is get to know the boy.”
“Honestly, Dad.” I break in, ready to chop him down. “I spend more time at Nathan’s house than I do my own. But you wouldn’t know that because you’re never home!” The car speeds up, and we all slightly jerk forward as he pumps the breaks to slow.
“Dear,” Mom interjects, “maybe we should finish this conversation at home.”
He looks between her and the road. “And why do you not have anything to say about this?”
She rubs her hands together. It’s the way she copes and manages her anger or frustration. “Tracey and Nathan are fine. I’ve spent time around them—”
“And how often does this happen? Why didn’t I know about it?” he questions in disbelief, cutting her off.
“Nathan is at our house frequently, and Tracey goes over there quite often. I have spoken with both of them privately. The three of us talk all the time. It’s her relationship; it’s what she wants. She is not a child, regardless of how we see her. Give her a little rope, dear.”
“Sweetheart, this cannot be you talking. You can’t be serious,” he insults.
I cut in, taking the heat off Mom. “What is the problem, Dad?”
“The problem is, you haven’t had a relationship your entire life, and here comes some boy and after, what? A few days! You want to run off into the sunset and move in with him and his family.”
“I would prefer to move in with him than to move to Tennessee with you. If you weren’t forcing us to move and being so mean, I probably wouldn’t make such a big deal over it.”
“The move will benefit you, Tracey. You know nothing about the world around you. You’ve only ever lived in Bennington.”
“If I want to see the world, I’ll go see it with Nathan. When I want to. Not forced to,” I say sternly.
“Tracey, that boy doesn’t love you. You two don’t even know each other well enough. You don’t know any boy. You haven’t had the chance to experience a real relationship yet. And you’re jumping at the first opportunity of something temporary, non-lasting. It’s not worth you throwing your life away!”
“Dear, you are taking this too far. Tracey, your father is just overprotective, fearing you getting hurt or letting go of home too soon.”
“No, she needs to hear it. I’m trying to talk some sense into our daughter. You’ve just been sitting around, not saying or doing anything about it. Just letting her parade around like this is okay.”
“There is nothing to say or do,” she asserts, raising her voice. “There is much you seem not to know or understand. You need to stop, and now.”
Dad ignores her, eyes pinning on me through the rearview mirror. “Let’s not mention the way you two were kissing. Maybe I’m wrong.” His head jerks, as if he’s just come up with the answer on his own. “By the looks of it, he only wants you for sex, Tracey!”
“James Warren! That is inappropriate,” Mom shouts. “That young man is more than respectful to our daughter. Stop this.”
“No, Mom. It’s okay. Let him get it out,” I sass with all the sarcasm I can, turning up my nose.
He quiets the remaining few minutes to the house. We enter our home, each of us waiting for the other to speak.
I sit at the breakfast bar. Dad’s stare stabs me every time he blinks. “Go ahead, Dad. Continue to tell me how my boyfriend is using me for sex. And while you’re at it, tell me about what I don’t know about boys. Considering, I dated a guy for two years. I just didn’t tell you about it. Or the fact that Nathan would be the second guy I’ve had sex with, not the first.” I make an exaggerated gasp, throwing my hand over my mouth for extra effect. Dad’s eyes spread wide. Mom’s too. And seeing I finally have their full attention, I continue, “If you could’ve been understanding and accepting and talked to me, this would’ve happened differently. And because you’re always gone, that’d be the reason why you know nothing.” I turn away from him, fed up with my dad and his angst toward Nathan and our relationship. Nathan, come get me?
Okay.
“Tracey, you are trying to make me into the bad guy.”
“You made yourself into the bad guy.” I turn around and meet his angered eyes. “Why would we waste our time going over there and meeting his family? Why would Nathan cook for everyone? Oh, right! So that he can just use me for sex—which he already gets for free—and leave me. That seems pointless. He didn’t have to prove anything to me. But he’s going to go out of his way, make sure his oversized family is all in the same place at the same time for a few hours, clean the entire freaking house, all just to impress my father so he could use me for sex, huh?” I stand from the barstool, pointing to myself. “I am not a child, Dad. And I apprecia
te the two of you care about me and want what’s best for me. I do. I’d also appreciate your understanding. But I understand I don’t have it,” I say, heading up the stairs and going to my room. “I’d swear I thought you felt differently,” I mumble.
Lumbered footsteps follow behind me as I close my door. “Tracey, do not lock that door.”
I’m done arguing. Instead of me closing the door I leave it open and go over to my chaise. Sitting on it with my knees pulled to my chest, I watch Dad. His piercing glare sweeps across the room before finding me and holds my stare as he sits on my bed. I break our silent bore, leaning my head back on the arm of the chaise. I close my eyes, saying, “Nathan will be here shortly. I don’t want to argue.”
“Ladybug, you have to consider your options, understand what’s out there for you. I know what you said. I heard you.”
I cut him off. “If you heard me, why are we still talking about this? There is no other option.” I leave my head back with my eyes closed. If we keep going and he keeps giving me the angry eyes, and I keep defending myself and my mate, I will break into a fit of tears. I hate arguing with my parents. I know they hate arguing with me too, so why can’t he just stop!
“What makes you so sure about Nathan? What has you this wrapped up in him that you would feel this fragile relationship is lasting?” he asks, shifting on my bed.
“I’ll have him tell you. Maybe it’ll sound better coming from the horse’s mouth because my words apparently mean nothing to you.”
“That’s not what I’m saying at all, Ladybug.”
I feel Mom’s presence enter the room. “Dear, can we talk for a minute?”
“Yes, as a family. Anything we have to say about Tracey and Nathan I would like for her to hear it.”
I peek my eyes open, looking for Mom. She looks to me as Dad turns his attention to her. I shake my head, unsure of what she’s about to say.
“Dear, Tracey and Nathan are fine. If it works out it does, if it doesn’t, then a lesson is learned. It will be a learning experience. You telling her you don’t want her to be with him and forcing her to move will not do anything but worsen the situation for our family. We’ve been down this road before, and we know how it ends. Let’s not run our daughter away all because we wouldn’t give her options, responsibility, and a chance to make her own decisions without our instantly rejecting them or being understanding to her wants and feelings.” Mom, the peacekeeper. She knows how it feels to have a family reject your choices and decisions like hers did to her.
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