Midnight Snack and Other Fairy Tales

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Midnight Snack and Other Fairy Tales Page 26

by Diane Duane


  From behind, a TECH tries to grab him—and FALLS THROUGH him. Gunter turns, and without the slightest hesitation hits the Tech backhanded with the wrench. The Tech goes down.

  GUNTER (CONT’D)

  (“sorry”, but not very)

  ‘Schuldigung —

  Gunter scrambles up the ladder, hauls the door of the first fusebox open, SLAMS the wrench into it. SPARKS fly. Most lights go out. The “assembly line” stops, goes dark. But the main pentagram is still bright.

  More TECHS now swarm in to pull the ladder out from under Gunter. They quickly succeed, since Gunter doesn’t weigh anything. But as he drops to the floor, Gunter pulls off a second Tech’s amp meter (slung over his shoulder in a pouch) and CLOUTS him with it, then spins and with great accuracy swings the meter up between a third Tech’s legs, CONNECTS. The poor guy SHRIEKS and goes down.

  GUNTER (CONT’D)

  ‘Schuldigung—’Schuldigung —

  He ditches the meter, picks up the fallen wrench, regains the ladder and puts it up next to the next, bigger fusebox. Up the ladder Gunter, HAULS the fusebox door open—when more TECHS pull the ladder out from under him yet again.

  Gunter clutches the fusebox door, DANGLES off it, trying to hit the circuitry inside the box. On the shop floor, a SENIOR TECH yells, points at another ND TECH.

  SENIOR TECH

  It’s a residual! Boost the gain! Just boost the gain!

  The ND TECH does something at the panel. The HUM gets louder, the light of the main pentagram gets brighter. Gunter is STRETCHED out of shape, pulled toward the main pentagram. He hangs onto the door of the big fusebox, and swings back and forth, FIGHTING the stretching effect. But it’s winning —

  In a last desperate effort, Gunter HITS the circuitry in the fusebox hard with the wrench. It SHORTS OUT with sparks and smoke and the ROOM GOES DARK. Only the pentagram retains a faint glow, as if there’s power in the design itself.

  HUBBUB AND CONFUSED SHOUTS in the near-total darkness. Gunter falls, crouches gasping on the floor, the gets up and SPRINTS toward the pentagram, where Sarah still stands.

  GUNTER

  Sarah!

  He GRABS her by the hand and runs, PULLING her with him. They run out of the clean room and through the wall as ALARMS start behind them and DIM LIGHTS come on.

  SENIOR TECH

  Hurry up! We’ve got loose residuals! We’ve gotta clean them up!

  EXT. STREET—NIGHT

  In front of the coffee shop, Joy stands and waits. Gunter and Sarah RUN to her.

  JOY

  You’re back! Sarah! Are you okay, honey?

  SARAH

  I’m fine.

  GUNTER

  We must get out of here, right now. Have you figured out how?

  JOY

  There aren’t any cabs here, and even if we called one, it would take time to get here.

  Joy looks down the street toward the little bus depot. A double-decker “Routemaster” London bus stands there idling with its door open: its driver is in the next-door shop (outside the shop, a sidewalk sign says NATIONAL LOTTERY—23 MILLION THIS WEEK!).

  JOY (CONT’D)

  We could take a bus…

  Then Joy’s EYES LIGHT UP with a wicked idea. Gunter gets the same idea simultaneously.

  JOY / GUNTER

  We could take a bus!

  Gunter and Sarah and Joy run to the bus, DIVE into it just as —

  ALARM LIGHTS start flashing on the outside of the Erickson building. Gunter throws himself into the driver’s seat, hurriedly looks over the controls.

  JOY

  Do you know how to drive this?

  GUNTER

  I flew a Junkers Eighty-eight bomber! How hard can this be?

  Now security people from the building RUN OUT toward them.

  Gunter SLAMS the bus into gear. It LURCHES out into the road, scattering the security people. Joy and Sarah clutch desperately to the rails or straps in the bus.

  EXT. LONDON STREETS—NIGHT

  Chase scene. Gunter veers along like the worst kind of student driver, narrowly avoiding crashing into things and people… sometimes very narrowly.

  INT. LONDON BUS—NIGHT

  Gunter is scared, but also laughing, as exhilarated as a young hotshot pilot who’s been given a new and difficult plane in which he can’t possibly get killed. Sarah hangs on with an excited look on her face. Joy, though, is actively afraid for her life as Gunter just misses another car.

  JOY

  Oh, look out!

  GUNTER

  It’s all right! It handles just like a J U Eighty-eight!

  JOY

  No wonder we won the war.

  They have a close scrape with another bus, SHOOT PAST. In a cross street, a POLICE CAR notices, swings into PURSUIT.

  JOY (CONT’D)

  Oh God, we’re all going to be thrown in jail forever. Not that you care!

  Another NEAR MISS in the traffic as Gunter CORNERS insanely.

  JOY (CONT’D)

  Will you take it easy?! Some of us here aren’t dead yet and we like it that way!

  GUNTER

  (cheerful)

  Chickennnn.

  More chase scene, and the increased HOWLING OF SIRENS, as the bus plunges OUT OF SHOT.

  INT. ORMONDE HOTEL—NIGHT

  George is heading for the front door with Bruno. Doris looks up from the desk.

  GEORGE

  Be back in a while, love.

  DORIS

  George, is this a good idea?

  GEORGE

  Doris, he’s got to go. If we let him go in the yard, he’ll dig up your flowerbeds again.

  DORIS

  But just for tonight…

  GEORGE

  I’ll be fine.

  Doris sighs, comes out from behind the desk, unlocks the door.

  DORIS

  Be careful.

  GEORGE

  I will. Come on, Bruno.

  He goes out. Doris looks after him, concerned.

  EXT. LONDON STREETS—NIGHT

  As before: yet more chase scene, wailing SIRENS of lots of police cars, and the good old Routemaster bus plunging down streets the wrong way or in the wrong lane, making traffic avoid it in numerous interesting and desperate ways.

  JOY (O.S.)

  Drive on the left! Drive on the left!!

  GUNTER (O.S.)

  All right, all right, it just seems wrong somehow…

  At one point the bus plunges right around Piccadilly Circus and out the other side, past that Burger King.

  JOY

  Your old “haunts”. Wasn’t one crash here enough?

  Gunter LAUGHS. He LOSES the closest of the cops, weaving his way among the streetsó

  EXT. STREET NEAR ORMONDE HOTEL—NIGHT

  George walks the little terrier down the street. He doesn’t see it, but he is being stalked by an Erickson van. He stops by a tree, stands there whistling while Bruno does his business.

  GEORGE

  Good lad, Bruno. Mummy will thank you for not burying that in her geraniums…

  Far-off SFX of SIRENS and RACING ENGINES can be heard, George REACTS to this, only slightly concerned.

  GEORGE (CONTD) (CONT’D)

  Bloody joyriders. Come on, Bruno.

  The van drives past, hiding George from view.

  INT. LONDON BUS—NIGHT

  Gunter is lost in a maze of side streets. The cops CLOSE IN.

  GUNTER

  This city was designed by lunatics.

  JOY

  So a driver with your talents should feel right at home. What’ll we do?

  GUNTER

  Keep going and hope for the best.

  But now Gunter is running down a cul-de-sac, nowhere else to go. The SIRENS and the blue lights are only a couple of blocks behind them, briefly delayed by a car Gunter’s just missed hitting. Gunter brings the bus screeching to a halt a loading area behind an office building.

  GUNTER (CONT’D)

  So
much for hope!

  He and Sarah and Joy DIVE out of the bus. Down the street, the cops are NEAR —

  Gunter GRABS Sarah’s hand, pulls her through a wall with him: they’re GONE. Joy stands there alone, in absolute shock.

  A second later, a DOOR in the wall OPENS; Gunter’s hand GRABS JOY’S ARM and DRAGS her in. The door shuts just in time. The cops RUNNING down the alley find an empty bus, an empty street, silence…

  EXT. DIFFERENT LONDON STREET—NIGHT

  At the front of the building, Gunter, Joy and Sarah EXIT through another door and head down the street.

  JOY

  That was close!

  GUNTER

  Yes. But there are still the Erickson people to lose.

  JOY

  They’ll be looking for a man and a little girl…

  GUNTER

  Exactly: not a woman and a girl. You two go on. I will follow. Sarah will tell you what happened.

  JOY

  All right.

  (wry, but affectionate)

  Listen, you did good. But after this? Stick to bombers.

  They SEPARATE and EXIT in opposite directions.

  INT. ORMONDE HOTEL—NIGHT

  Joy comes in with Sarah. Doris meets her at the door, looking worried, though she HUGS Sarah in relief.

  DORIS

  Oh, pet, I was ever so worried! You go straight up to bed.

  (to Joy)

  Where’s Gunter?

  JOY

  He’s okay. He’ll be back soon.

  DORIS

  What a relief. Have you seen George?

  JOY

  Uh, no.

  DORIS

  Well, never mind. There’s someone waiting for you in the lounge.

  JOY

  Oh God…the authorities work fast around here, don’t they. Okay…

  Joy steels herself, goes in… and finds Harry sitting there, looking contrite.

  HARRY

  Uh, hi.

  (beat)

  Neutral territory…

  JOY

  Yeah. Yeah.

  Joy sits down next to Harry, guilty. They have trouble looking at each other.

  JOY (CONT’D)

  Look. It’s not like you think. I was —

  HARRY

  Me first.

  (struggling)

  Joy, I was way out of line at dinner. I was confused. About what you were telling me about George. And especially about Gunter. I tend to expect the worst, just in case it happens. Even if I know it’s not happening.

  Joy wants to interrupt. Harry holds up a hand to stop her. The front door OPENS again: subdued VOICES are talking there.

  HARRY (CONT’D)

  After how I’ve been ignoring you, and not just on this trip—what you gave me, I had it coming.

  (beat: this is hardest for him)

  And about Gunter, and George, and what you said about the way they were… Who am I to say that you didn’t see something that you thought meant they had to be, that could only be explained by…

  Joy has been listening with increasing astonishment. Now she takes Harry’s hands and holds them.

  HARRY (CONT’D)

  (gives up)

  Look, if you say they’re dead, you probably have a good reason. And as long as you’re not having an affair with one of them, or both of them, I don’t care, okay? All I want to know now is, when can we get a slightly bigger…room?

  GUNTER (O.S.)

  (CLEARS THROAT)

  Harry STARES in shock at something behind Joy. She turns. Straight-faced, Gunter is leaning through the wall.

  GUNTER (CONT’D)

  Excuse me. Doris asks what time in the morning you want breakfast, since we are all turning in so late tonight.

  HARRY

  Oh my God.

  (to Joy)

  You mean he really is…

  JOY

  And you said you believed me, even when you didn’t…!

  She smiles, gets up and pulls Harry with her.

  JOY (CONT’D)

  I’ve got a lot of explaining to do. Let’s go somewhere a little less neutral.

  (to Gunter, off her glance at Harry)

  Eight thirty?

  HARRY

  Uh, fine. Fine. See you then.

  JOY

  ‘Night, Gunter.

  GUNTER

  Guten abend, Joy. Mr. Collins —

  HARRY

  Harry.

  Gunter nods. Joy and Harry head out, get into the little lift. Its door closes.

  Gunter pauses at the front desk, where Doris stands, watching the front door.

  GUNTER

  Eight thirty.

  DORIS

  That’s fine.

  They both stop, hearing something SCRATCHING at the front door, and a BARK. Bruno is there, his leash dragging. But not George.

  INT. ORMONDE HOTEL BREAKFAST ROOM—MORNING

  The aftermath of breakfast. Tables are pulled together. Joy and Harry sit over cups of tea with Gunter, Lorna and Pario. Joy’s cellphone and room key lie on the table. Doris moves by in b.g., carrying breakfast things, looking distressed. Joy looks after her sympathetically.

  JOY

  Still no George.

  GUNTER

  We must assume they have him.

  LORNA

  This is so horrible. Think of it—our people being snatched off the streets and stuffed into the chips that go into these.

  HARRY

  No wonder we manage to pack so much processing power into the things. We’re stuffing whole human minds into the electronics.

  PARIO

  I for one do not want to spend eternity running somebody’s apps!

  JOY

  Or in a landfill when the rest of the hardware wears out.

  HARRY

  (guilty)

  No landfills. The chip’s recyclable.

  LORNA

  But what can we do?

  Gunter produces the manual, riffles through it until he finds the right page: hands it to Harry. Harry reads.

  GUNTER

  I was looking through this last night. I do not understand all the terminology, but the small pentagrams used for capture all seem to derive their functionality from the big one. All the chips do, too.

  HARRY

  It looks that way, doesn’t it. If you could disrupt the big one…

  GUNTER

  It would take more than disruption. It would have to be destroyed. But its destruction would free every soul imprisoned in one of these chips.

  HARRY

  And every device with a chip in it would stop working.

  (implications sink in)

  And then Erickson Computers…

  Joy looks at him with compassion, takes his hand again.

  GUNTER

  The question is to find out how.

  Doris finally comes over to them, sits down in a spare chair. She’s been crying: every now and then she starts to leak tears again, and dabs at her eyes with a napkin.

  GUNTER (CONT’D)

  No news.

  DORIS

  No.

  HARRY

  Shouldn’t we, I don’t know, call the police….

  DORIS

  Oh, yes, why don’t we do that.

  (angry but with humor)

  “I’m sorry, Constable, but Mr. Lewisham is missing. Yes, now that you mention it he did die five years ago, and now we can’t find him anywhere—”

  HARRY

  They’d get you for wasting police time.

  JOY

  This is not a waste of time! This is a human life we’re talking about!

  HARRY

  “Life??”

  Joy gets up and stalks back and forth, waving her arms.

  JOY

  It’s a human something! Harry, he gave you good racing tips, he taught me how to say “Chumley,” he was nice to me! Now he’s missing and you don’t even care??

  HARRY

  Of course I care, it’s just tha
t —

  JOY

  It’s that Erickson’s mixed up in this, and you’re scared —

  HARRY

  That the company will go under, and I’ll lose my job, and in this market probably never get another one? Yes I’m scared!

  JOY

  Next to what they’re doing to all these dead people, does it matter? It’d be better to starve than to make money by slavery! That’s all this is! We abolished slavery, Harry!

  HARRY

  Someone else abolished it! I didn’t expect to have to do it again!

  Joy’s eyes are on him.

  JOY

  We can’t just sit here. Life’s too short.

  (glance at the others)

  Sorry.

  HARRY

  I’ve got to get going. The show opens at nine thirty.

  GUNTER

  We’ve got to do something…

  JOY

  I don’t think we’re going to be able to do it by ourselves, though. We need help.

  DORIS

  From who?

  GUNTER

  Let me see what I can arrange.

  He gets up, EXITS. Harry gets up too. Joy stops him, gives him a kiss, and a long close look, loving, but determined.

  JOY

  You have a good day now. See you tonight?

  HARRY

  Yeah. I’ll call.

  A guilty glance at the cellphone. He EXITS.

  Harry passes by the front desk just as Gunter is finishing a phone call. The two look at each other, not quite hostile, not quite certain, either.

  HARRY (CONT’D)

  Listen. At first I was going to tell you, if you’re messing with my wife, you’re a dead man. So to speak.

  GUNTER

  (not offended: humorous)

  I understand you. But if you were not married, and if I were not a dead man, you would have competition.

  (beat)

  The phrase is much overused these days, but she is very special, your Joy. The world looks new to her, even when it is not. This is a great gift.

  HARRY

  Sometimes it can be a great pain in the neck.

  GUNTER

  Yes. But whatever else may happen, you will never be bored.

  (embarrassed)

  I have said too much. But I have much to thank her for.

  (glances at the clock)

  You will be late.

  HARRY

  Not as “late” as you are.

  GUNTER

  Ow.

  Harry smiles, EXITS.

  Joy comes out, stuffing the room key into one of her skirt’s secret pockets, the cellphone into an outer one.

  JOY

  So?

  GUNTER

  About noontime we must go to a meeting.

  JOY

 

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