by Megan Hart
"Kill or be killed?" She shuddered, looking at his tattooed arms and back in a different light. The faint scars on his body had never bothered her before. In fact, in a world of perfection, the reality of his skin and the uses he'd put it to had always stood out to her as very refreshing.
"But killing your partner just because you made a bad mistake..."
She thought of her ill-fated marriage, then nodded, a little more accepting. The night Dan had sent her down the stairs, she'd have killed him if she'd been able. To protect herself. Kill or be killed suddenly didn't sound so bad.
"Most couples don't," he said suddenly. "We're not monsters, Linna."
She looked him up and down. "No, Del. I would never say that."
He hissed out a breath. "I left Xanderra because I didn't want to be bound to anyone. I figured I'd have a better chance here on Earth. Better chance to resist temptation."
He gave a pointed glance at the futon where he'd almost lost control. "And I have...until you."
She couldn't be sure if he were complimenting her or insulting her. Linna cleared her throat. "So you've never made love to a woman before?"
His brows knitted. "Hell, no."
The thought warmed her unexpectedly. "I wouldn't have known."
He watched her for a moment before smiling slightly. "You don't need to know how to drive a hovertaxi to know what it feels like to ride in one."
She still wanted him. Maybe more than before when her body's reactions had been overwhelming her. She looked over his muscled body and stared into the dark eyes that had given her so many warm glances.
"How do you stand it? Being around it all the time, but never doing it?"
He laughed and made a slow motion with his hand. "Got to be my own best friend, hey?"
The thought made her stomach twist and turn at what that sight must be like. "And that's okay? You can do that?"
He nodded and ducked his head, actually looking a little embarrassed. "I guess I'd explode if I couldn't."
Linna thought of how he'd asked for a kiss the day before. "But you kissed me."
"Self-torture. Kissing isn't fucking."
She grinned. "And you kissed me again, here. And you touched me, too."
Del spread his hands and shrugged. "Hell, Linna. I am a man." He put a hand to his crotch, which had begun to bulge again satisfactorily while they spoke.
"The virus doesn't spread through saliva?" she questioned. "We're not bonded now."
"I'm the only one who'd be bonded, not you," he corrected. "The virus isn't carried in saliva. If I kiss you, it's swapping spit. Not a problem. If I come in your mouth or go down on you...listen, Linna, believe me. Xanderrans have thought of every possible option. They just don't work."
"I'm sorry." She thought. "No, I'm not. If you want to know the truth, Del, I'm not sorry. I've fucked hundreds, maybe thousands of clients over the past few years, but I'd forgotten what it was like to want someone. Since I met you, I've started to remember. I'm not sorry about what we just did, but I am sorry you couldn't enjoy it, too."
He gave a small, nearly imperceptible shudder and his breath caught. "Ah, harah. Don't."
She didn't mean to torture him, but emotions she usually had to keep firmly in check were burbling to the surface and she couldn't push them down. She didn't want to.
"Del, I don't have many friends." She laughed ruefully. "Actually, I don't have any friends. But I can't count how many times you've come through for me--with a ride or with a smile when I've had an awful day. With a conversation that didn't center on yourself. You always took the time to talk to me like you knew I was real person, not just a Kompanion."
"That's because I knew you are a real person."
Her throat got tight and tears sparked her eyes. "But you never told anyone."
"I didn't want to get you into trouble."
"You were being my friend," she said and meant it. "If you hadn't opened the door for me tonight, I have no doubts I'd be dead. Adar and the Council are crazy serious about what's going on out there. They were using bullets, not stunners. I'd be dead."
He shrugged. "I couldn't not open the door, especially when I knew it was you."
"See what I mean?" she said softly. "We're friends, Del."
He took a deep breath and straightened his broad shoulders. "I can be your friend, Linna."
She stood, well aware of the way her breasts lifted. His eyes flickered there for a moment before he pulled his gaze back to her face. She took a step toward him. Del took a step back.
It would have been funny, a giant of a man backing away from a much smaller woman like her, if she hadn't known the reason for his reluctance. She put her hands to her breasts, the nipples still taut with arousal. His mouth thinned. In the bluish light from the battery lantern, his dark eyes glimmered.
"Let me be your friend, Del."
He shook his head and took another step back. She could see his erection bulging through the fabric of his trousers and the sight gave her a small shudder. His cock must be huge, if it matched the rest of him.
She slipped her hand inside her jumpsuit between her legs, still hot and wet from before. Her clit tingled under her fingers, but she didn't rub herself. Not yet.
"Linna--"
"I don't expect you to make love to me." Her smile felt a little sad. She brightened it by force. "I know you don't want to be bound to me. I wouldn't ask that of you. But you can bring yourself pleasure and I can watch you do that, can't I? I've been living as a Kompanion for the past three years. Believe me, I've seen it all."
His voice was hoarse. "You don't have to."
She looked at the bed, the rumpled covers. "You made me come, right over there. I haven't had an orgasm with a man in a very long time. I would gladly fuck you any way you wanted it just for that reason alone."
He made a low, strangled noise in the back of his throat. Sweat shone on his forehead and upper lip, and Linna was pretty sure it wasn't just because with the power out, the apartment had quickly grown stifling.
"It's not a pity fuck either," she continued, sensing his pride wouldn't allow such an offer. "When you kissed me yesterday, I finally had to admit to myself something I'd been pretending not to feel."
"What's that?" His raspy voice sent a thrill through her, straight to her clit.
"I've wanted you for a long time."
He ran a hand over his close-cropped hair and blew out a gust of air from his full lips. "Damn."
"Is that a good damn or a bad damn?"
He put both hands behind his head, fingers linked, elbows in the air, and held that pose for a moment before dropping his arms to his sides. Linna couldn't help admiring the way the muscles bulged and worked in his arms and chest when he moved. He had a great body, perfect in its pure naturalness. Unenhanced.
She was relieved when he smiled, the full force of the grin enough to again weaken her knees and send a burst of sensation straight between her legs.
"Good." Del's gaze swept over her, centering on her face before dipping lower to her breasts, then between her legs.
Shyness overtook her, foolishly, since she had made far bolder propositions to strangers. Linna forced it down and forced herself to look into his eyes. This was Del, her friend.
"I want to watch you touch yourself," she told him.
He answered with a groan. He licked his mouth again.
Linna stepped up toward him and lifted herself onto her toes to touch her lips to his. Del groaned again. He didn't put his arms around her and she didn't push him to. She just kissed him. She let her tongue feather along his mouth before she dipped it inside to taste his deliciousness.
Linna put her hand on his chest and felt his heart beating hard. Like her own. His nipple pebbled beneath her palm and she caressed the taut flesh, then trailed her fingers down the ridge of his belly muscles. The line of crisp, curling hair trailing down into the waistband of his trousers tickled the back of her hand.
"Linna--" His voice was ha
rsh with need.
It took every ounce of self-discipline she had to step away from him when all she wanted to do was jump up on him and slide her hot, slick emptiness onto the erection she spied between his legs.
"I can see how badly you need this," she told him, her own voice shaking with torturous pleasure. "I want you to touch yourself, Del."
His hands hesitated for a moment on the buckle of his pants, but it was undone in a flash. He hooked his thumbs into the sides of his waistband, just over the place where his hips jutted out, and slid the pants down over his butt and legs to the floor.
She moaned when she saw what he had been hiding. His cock was thick and perfect, rising nearly to his naval. It didn't look any different than any others she'd seen, other than it was perfectly lovely, without the bulge of imperfect lengthening operations or other cosmetic enhancements. His testicles hung beneath, covered in more of the curling dark hair.
His fist gripped his cock and engulfed it. Del stood, legs slightly spread, head tilted back. In the light from the battery lantern, every ripple and muscle was outlined with lines of black. Shadows dipped and swirled around him, but thankfully didn't detract from the sight.
"I want to watch you stroke yourself," she said in a low voice. "I want to see what you like. I want to watch you get off."
He licked his lips as he pumped his cock slowly, palming the head every few strokes. His hips lifted into each downward stroke, and Linna had to stop herself from reaching out to touch one of his strong thighs. Sweat gleamed on his bare chest. She wanted to lick it. She wanted to suck his neck, his nipples, drop to her knees and take him into her mouth.
Instead, she sat on the bed, legs spread, and toyed with her buzzing clit. "I love to watch you, Del."
His eyes flew open and found hers. His gaze riveted to her fingers, gently tweaking her clit and sliding in her slick folds. He pumped his dick faster. Linna matched his pace with her own and was on the edge in moments.
"How does it feel?" she asked him. Speaking had become difficult. The words came out in small gasps. But she had to know.
"Good. Great." He took a few steps closer to her. "You look so hot that way, Linna."
His compliment sent a surge of desire through her. "Like this?"
She slid a finger inside herself and drew it out slowly while she pressed the heel of her hand to her erect clitoris. "It's no substitute for what you've got in your hand."
He closed his eyes for a moment, as though struggling. "If things were different...."
"Shhh." She didn't want to dwell on why they couldn't be together. "Tell me what you're feeling."
"I'm feeling hot." He laughed, his hand moving more slowly up and down his length. He looked around the room. "Damn, it's hot in here."
Linna giggled, the movement of her laughter making her fingers send a jolt of pleasure deep inside her. The bigger turn-on was the laughter itself. It had been a long time since she'd laughed, and even longer since she'd had a man to laugh with her.
"Maybe we'll get lucky and the power will cycle back on."
He snorted. "Not in this res-dist."
"Come over here and sit down," she urged. "I don't want you fainting on me. You're way too big for me to pick up."
He hesitated and she moved over on the futon. "I promise I won't touch you, Del."
He made a face. "That's supposed to make me feel better?"
She patted the mattress. "Come on."
He lay down beside her, his head pillowed on one arm. She got up and slid to her knees on the floor, and when he made a muffled protest, she hushed him again as she tugged his pants the rest of the way off.
Now he was as naked as she was, completely bare to her. God-of-Choice, he had sexy feet. Long, slim toes, strong-boned ankles, and calves edged with muscle and covered in more dark hair. Her mouth went dry just looking at him. She put her hands on his ankles, and he jumped.
She rubbed his shins and curled her fingers around his calves. "Is it triggered if I lick your skin?"
"Ah, no." He sighed.
She looked up to see his hand still moving on his cock. Faster now, as though her words had spurred him on.
She bent forward and slid her tongue up the side of his leg. He moaned.
Linna nuzzled his calf, then nipped it with her teeth. She slid a hand down between her legs to tease her clit, already erect with arousal despite the two orgasms she had so recently.
She worked her way up his leg to the powerfully muscled thigh. He was still stroking his cock firmly. She reached up to run a finger down the seam of his sac.
"Linna!" His hoarse gasp made her smile.
She didn't reply, just stroked him again. She wanted to put her mouth there, to lick and taste him, but she contented herself with the safety of using her finger.
She got up on the bed beside him, her hand still on his balls, and watched him pleasure himself. His cock had grown immense. Her cunt ached at its emptiness and she tried to satisfy it with her fingers. Her clit throbbed.
"What are you thinking about?" she asked unexpectedly even to herself.
"You," came his reply. The strong fingers stroked down, then up. "Fucking you. Making you come again. I wonder how you'd taste."
At his words, the first slow roll of orgasm rippled through her. She shuddered. "I wonder the same thing about you."
His hand hesitated, and then moved again. She put her hand on his to judge his pace, the rhythm he liked. Their hands moved together. He lifted his to allow her to put hers directly on his skin, and then his fingers closed down over top again. He guided her, showing her what he liked without having to tell her.
Linna put her cheek to his shoulder to watch their joined hands stroke him to completion. Her clit swelled and throbbed as she soared over the edge into ecstasy.
"I'm coming," she managed to say. "Now. Come with me, Del."
His hips lifted. Beneath her fingers, his cock spasmed. He gave a low, guttural cry, then moaned her name. His hand clamped down on hers and stopped stroking. His entire body tensed and jerked, then went still.
The smell of him hung in the air between them. The musky scent of sex made her tremble in a brief aftershock of climax and made her sigh.
After a moment, he pushed himself to a sitting position and reached for the drawer in the nightstand. He pulled out a washcloth and wiped his belly and chest, then tossed the cloth into a basket in the corner of the room. He didn't look at her.
Linna sat up too, unsure of what to think. "Del?"
He rubbed at his face. "The bathroom's through there, if you want to use it."
She put a hand on his shoulder, but he didn't soften beneath her touch. She withdrew. "Thanks."
I'm not going to ask him what's wrong, she thought stubbornly. She got up from the futon and went into the small bathroom he'd indicated. The fixtures were old and in poor repair, but there was a shower. She turned the faucet, but no matter what temperature she dialed, only cold artiwater came out. Power cycling again.
It didn't matter. Her internal temperature gauge could regulate her so she wouldn't get cold. It was more important to feel clean. The shower served another important purpose for her now, too.
The sound of the water would mean Del wouldn't hear her crying.
She hadn't said more than a couple words to him in the past few hours, but Del couldn't blame her. She was used to being with real men, not some Offworld freak who couldn't make love to her the right way.
The slow, even pace of her breathing told him she slept. When the power hadn't come back on, there had been little else to do. To conserve the battery's power, he'd turned it off. In the dark, lying beside her was only slightly easier.
The futon really wasn't big enough for two. Not when one of them was a woman he couldn't touch. He lay beside her, eyes open wide to the darkness, muscles stiff with tension.
He'd jacked off thousands of times in his life. Xanderrans learned very early on about the necessity of self-gratification. He'd never had a
woman's hand on his dick while he did it. Even though everyone knew the technical ways around the virus, most people didn't take advantage of them. There were too many who ended up behsherit sinah. Bonded but hating each other.
He'd come so hard he'd thought his head was going to explode, and when it was over, what had he done? The wrong thing.
He'd wanted to thank her, but didn't want her to think he was using her like her clients did. He wanted to tell her how good her hand had felt on him, but he wasn't a teener kid, even if it was his first hand job. Mostly, Del wanted to tell Linna how glad he was she'd found her way to his flat, how glad he was she'd found her way into his life, but the word love didn't seem to want to come out of his mouth. Not without choking him first.
He had no right to talk about love. Not to her. He had nothing to give her. No credits, no decent place to live, no future. He couldn't even give her his body because doing that would mean a commitment he wasn't sure he could make.
He'd left his homeworld because the thought of being bound to one person for the rest of his life had left him in a cold sweat. The woman his parents had chosen for him--sweet, pliant Nia--would have driven him insane after more than a few years of her company. The perfect Xanderran woman. Quiet, compliant, sexually responsive...and boring. There wasn't a thought in her head that hadn't come from one of her girlfriends, her family, or from Del himself.
His father had banned him from the house when he learned Del was refusing Nia. His mother had screamed and torn her clothes. He was a disappointment to them both. A disgrace to the Tennvic line. He'd never take his place as one of the Melekim Gadol.
Most people mistakenly thought Xanderra still had a monarchy because the name of their ruling body translated as Great Kings. In reality, the government was a two-party democracy, one party being elected and the other inheriting the seats. Del had been born into the Melekim Gadol, but seven years ago, had decided he didn't give a flying fuck about it. He didn't want to take his father's place if it meant shackling himself to Nia.
His mother had pleaded with him to change his mind while his father only scowled.