Monsters and Lollipops

by Franklin D. Lincoln

“What the hell are you doing back here, Aunt Deb? I thought I told you to go home.” Tom Hall blustered as Deb burst into the living room of Marlee Drum’s home.

  “Don’t get your shorts twisted, Tommy,” Deb said with dismissal.” You told Liz to go home, not me. And nobody tells me anything, buster.”

  “Yeah, I know,” he said with defeat.” You can stay, but just stay out of the way will you?” He went about his business, writing up his notes.

  “Sure thing, kiddo.” She winked at him and drifted away toward where Marlee was sitting in a green upholstered chair. Her lean face was more drawn than usual and the color in her cheeks had drained to a bland gray, matching the gray in her well coiffed hair.

  “How’re you doing, Marlee?” Deb said.

  “I’m okay, Deb. Just a little shook. Nothing like this has ever happened before. It’s just a shock, is all.”

  “What happened?”

  “I came home from the grocery and found the house had been broken into. The back door had been jimmied and was left wide open.”

  “Did you see who it was?”

  “No. He was already gone.”

  “You’re lucky. If you had walked in on him, he might have hurt you.”

  “I suppose so.”

  “Did he take anything?” Deb asked.

  “I don’t know yet. I haven’t missed anything. Anything of value, that is. But Tom’s still inventorying everything.”

  “Does your husband know about this, yet?” Deb asked.

  “Yes. Tom called him at the bank. He was out, but his secretary was going to leave him a message when he got back. He should be here soon.” She fidgeted and wriggled in her chair. She quickly changed the topic of conversation and said,” How’s Liz?”

  “She’s okay. We’ve had a busy morning and she got tired. I took her home so she could get a nap in.”

  “Deb,” Tom Hall said, turning his attention away from his notes.” I thought I told you to stay out of the way.”

  “That’s what I’m doing,” she protested.

  “No, no, no. I meant, you stay outside with all the other spectators.”

  “Well then, why didn’t you say so? You’ve got to make yourself clear, you know. Or didn’t the old man teach you that?” She was referring to Ben MacCready, the chief of police. Ben had worked for Joe Porelli for many years and had taken Joe’s place as chief after Joe became incapacitated. Deb never liked Ben MacCready.” By the way, where is the old rooster today? He usually goes out on these things.”

  “That’s really none of your business, Aunt Deb,” Tom said with annoyance.

  “Tommy boy, everything is my business.”

  “At least, you make it so, even if it isn’t.”

  “You got that right.” Then she added,” I suppose the old boy is too busy back at the station takin’ care of dispatches. If you know what I mean.” She winked slyly.

  “I know what you mean,” Tom said.” Really, Aunt Deb, you’re such a gossip and meddler.” Deb had often made innuendoes that she suspected the chief of police having an affair with his secretary and dispatcher, Sadie Bell.

  “Yeah, aren’t I though?” She proclaimed proudly.

  “Yes you are,” Tom shook his head in defeat.” If you must know, the Chief had another emergency to tend to this morning. He’s handling a fatal accident out on route seven, so he put me in charge of this investigation. So for now, Aunt Deb, how about getting out of here and let me do my job?”

  “Sure, sonny,” she said with a smile.” And tell your boss, I’m on the job.”

  “Whoa, whoa, there Aunt Deb,” Tom said excitedly. He was afraid he knew what was coming.

  “I’m going to talk to the other neighbors and start up a neighborhood watch,” Deb announced. Then to Marlee, she said.” Talk to you later, honey. You take care, now.” She patted her reassuringly on the shoulder and started for the door.

  “Wait a minute. Wait a minute,” Tom said with annoyance.” You’re not doing any such thing.”

  “I am too,” Deb countered.

  “You just leave this to us.”

  “Okay, okay. We will, but there’s no harm in giving you a helping hand.”

  “Oh yes there is, if it’s your helping hand.”

  “And what’s the matter with my helping hand?” She screwed up her face and moved close to him, her hands on her narrow hips. If she had been a foot and a half taller she could have been eyeball to eyeball with him, but as it was she was still in his face with attitude.

  “Well,” Tom stammered a little with intimidation.” You know, you tend to go overboard with things. I just think it best, if you stay out of this. And that goes for Aunt Liz too.”

  “Well then, don’t think, sonny. You might just hurt yourself.”

  It was almost four thirty by the time Liz arose from her nap. A nap usually meant four hours, for the monster had relegated her to a routine of four hours awake and four hours asleep on good days. This meant being up half the night and sleeping half the day. On bad days, the cycle was interrupted and she was lucky to sleep at all, while other days she couldn’t even get up. She often said she was in the snapdragon time of her life. Part of the time she’s snapped and part of the time she’s draggin’.

  This afternoon, Liz had awoken refreshed and ambled along the hallway toward the living room. The walls on both sides were covered with pictures of family, mostly, and a few friends. Many of the pictures were black and white and dated back to the early fifties. Liz called this her wall of Halls. She had been born Elizabeth Hall, her name having been changed to Porelli when she married.

  As she entered the living room she could see the little pug, Sissy Boom Boom still on the beige overstuffed chair in front of the TV. She still lay flat on her stomach with her neck forward and flat on the cushion before her. Her dark eyes rolled slightly to the side and her tail wagged briefly, acknowledging Liz’s presence. Then her eyes rolled back to the TV screen.

  When Liz had come home earlier in the day, Sissy Boom Boom had reacted nonchalantly in much the same way for she was watching ‘The Son of Lassie’ on Turner Classic Movies. Now she was watching ‘The Courage of Benji. ’

  Deb was at the kitchen table and Marlee Drum was sitting across from her. Each had a cup of coffee on the table before them. The steam had long since dissipated and the cups no longer full.” Well, look who decided to join the living,” Deb chimed, looking up at Liz leaning on her quad cane.

  Liz pulled on a chair and practically fell into it.” Hi, Marlee,” she said, her voice a little raspy from sleep, as she settled herself and pulled her chair closer to the table. Deb had gotten up, gone to the cupboard and retrieved another cup. She placed it before Liz, then turned to the counter, lifted the coffee pot from the coffee maker and poured her a steaming brew.

  “Thanks, Deb,” Liz said. She sipped at the steaming cup. Hot and black, just what she needed to jump start her system. She closed her eyes and relished the hot liquid on her tongue and throat.

  “So, what was going on at your place this morning?” She asked.

  “Someone broke in while I was out,” she said.” But they didn’t take anything. I guess I was lucky. But I have to have someone come out to change the locks. Lew isn’t the handy man type you know.”

  “He doesn’t have to be. As a bank president I’m sure he makes more money than a handy man. His time is more valuable than that.”

  “As long as he uses his time as he should,” Deb put in sharply, indicating she knew something that Liz didn’t.

  Liz threw Deb a look of annoyance. Marlee flushed. Deb continued.” If he spent more time at business and I mean real business, not that monkey business stuff, he’d be better off. Course it’s none of my never mind, so I’m not saying one word. Not one word.”

  “Yeah. You’re so good at that, Deb,” Liz said with sarcasm. She took another sip of her coffee, looking across the cup at Marlee.

  “Something goin
g on, Marlee?” Liz asked.” I mean, besides the break in.”

  “Oh, I don’t know,” Marlee said.” It might not be anything. Just someone playing a practical joke, maybe.”

  “Show it to her, honey,” Deb urged.

  “Oh. All right,” Marlee agreed, picking up the open envelope in front of her and handed it to Liz.

  Liz put her cup down, took the envelope and pulled what looked like a greeting card from it. It was obviously made from a computer program.” Oh, that’s cute,” she said. There was a picture of a cute little poodle puppy wearing a pink bow, on it. The caption above the puppy said ‘If you think she’s cute. . . ’

  “Open it up,” Deb urged impatiently. Marlee lowered her eyes and cringed.

  ‘You ought to see your husband’s bitch,’ the caption continued on the inside. There was a picture of two scruffy dogs mating. It was unsigned. Liz’s jaw dropped. She didn’t say a word. She flipped the card back to the front and looked at it again, then turned it over and stuffed it back in the envelope.

  “That’s not a practical joke,” Liz almost growled.” That’s cruel.” She looked up at Marlee with concern. Marlee still held her eyes downward.

  “You don’t think this means Lew is cheating on you?” Liz seemed to find that hard to believe. She had known Lew Drum for a long time and he had been a close friend of Joe’s. Lew had always been very devoted to Marlee and he had taken very good care of her in recent years as she fought off both breast and colon cancer. She had had surgery and now had to wear a bag for body waste.

  “I don’t know what to think,” Marlee said, facing Liz. I never would have ever doubted Lew, but lately he has seemed a bit distant. Preoccupied. But I just thought it was problems at the bank.”

  “Have you mentioned this to him?” Liz tapped the envelope.

  “No. Of course not. I wouldn’t want him to think I ever distrusted him.”

  “I can understand that,” Liz said. Then she asked.” Just when and how did you get this?” She picked the envelope back up and saw it had no address on it, just one word, ‘Marlee. ’

  “It was just a week ago today,” Marlee said.” I always do my grocery shopping on Tuesday morning. It’s not so busy, you know. It’s strange,” she added.” I found it on top of the fruits in one of the grocery bags when I got home and was putting the groceries away. Someone must have put it there.”

  “Maybe you oughtta check out the checkout girl,” Deb quipped, thinking she had made a funny.

  Liz cast an annoyed look at her and she quickly got the message.

  “I was just trying to cheer you up a bit. I didn’t mean to make light of it, you know,” Deb apologized.” But, just the same, who else could have done it?”

  “I don’t know. But the check out girl hardly knows me. Why, I don’t even know her name. I mean it’s on her name plate, but I never paid much attention. Besides it’s always a different clerk anyhow,”

  “Were the bags ever out of your sight between there and home?” Liz asked.

  “No. Only when I carried them into the house. I usually have to make three or four trips to the car. I don’t remember which ones I brought in first.”

  “So someone could have put it in the bag while it was still in the car.”

  “I suppose so. But who would do that? Besides they would have to have been in the neighborhood and watching their chance.”

  “Have you had any trouble with anyone in the neighborhood, lately?”

  “Not that I know of. But I haven’t seen much of the neighbors for the last couple of years. Not since my medical problems.”

  *****

  Chapter Seven