I stand very still. Never in any of my calculations did I anticipate this act of kindness.
Kai takes Gerda’s face in his hands and leans down to kiss her gently on the forehead. “You’re far too good for me.” He embraces her, turning her slightly so he can stare at me over her head. “Very well. For your sake, Gerda, I’ll stay and assist Thyra with the mirror. But as soon as that task is done we leave.” He pushes the girl back, still holding onto her shoulders. “We go home. Back to our village. Back where we belong, where we should stay.”
Gerda nods and lays her head on his chest. “Oh, I am glad, Kai. I doubted you for a little while, I admit, but deep down I was sure you were still the person I’ve always known and loved.”
“Of course,” replies Kai in a tone inspiring nothing but trust.
Gerda, hugging him, can only hear his words. I can see his face. Defeat is stamped upon his thinned lips and despair haunts his eyes. I meet his gaze and hold it.
I understand, I tell him without speaking any words. You stand in that moment when all your hopes and aspirations melt to nothingness. The second when every dream dies.
I haven’t reached that moment yet, but it’s rushing toward me. It lies in wait, ready to pounce—at midnight on my eighteenth birthday.
Kai lifts Gerda’s hands and presses a kiss into each of her palms. “Go now, my friend. Thyra and I must resume our work.” He glances over at me. “Would you send Luki with her, to keep the wraiths at bay?”
I nod and kneel down to whisper my instructions in the wolf’s ear. Luki licks my hand once before trotting to Gerda’s side. “Watch over her,” I remind him as he leads the girl from the Great Hall.
Kai crosses to the table. “Time to put everything aside and focus on our task, Snow Queen.” He slides one hand over the polished surface of the looking glass, his fingers tracing figures like skaters gliding over a frozen lake.
“It’s Thyra,” I say, joining him in contemplation of the mirror. I lay my hand over his restless fingers. “Thank you.”
“I did it to please Gerda.” He doesn’t look at me but his fingers curl about my hand.
Staring at our clasped hands, I catch a glimpse of our faces reflected by the mirror. Mine is strangely fragile, my clear gray eyes appearing far too large for my face. As for Kai—warring emotions twist his reflection into a puzzle I can’t decipher. “Yes, we’ve wasted enough time today.” I pull my hand from Kai’s grasp and thrust it into my pocket.
“I don’t want you to become a wraith.” Kai’s voice is very soft. “But you should never have lied to me.”
“I won’t do it again.” I cross behind him and grab the box holding the remaining shards. Walking around the table, I examine the final corner. “Will you bring the notebooks, please? I think we need to study our equations once more. Perhaps we’ve missed a vital clue.”
Kai leans over, his hands pressed against the surface of the table. As he lifts his head I meet his despairing gaze. I shake my head. “It doesn’t have to mean the end of your dreams. There must be some way to solve your problem. If we can reconstruct this mirror, we can surely figure out a way for you to attend the university.”
“A new set of equations?” His smile’s as resigned as it is fleeting.
“Why not? If we put our minds to it, what problem is unsolvable?”
Kai gathers up our notebooks and two pencils. “I can think of one.”
“Nonsense,” I reply as he joins me on the other side of the table. “Our minds, together, are quite formidable. What problem stands a chance?” I turn my head and catch him staring at me with an expression in which longing and pain vie for dominance.
“The problem of us,” says Kai.
We work in silence for the rest of the day.
Chapter Twenty-One: Hearts Break Like Glass
FOR SEVERAL DAYS AND nights Kai and I work side by side, taking turns sleeping for a few hours at a time. Instead of walking back to our respective rooms we simply curl into furs piled on the stone floor of the Great Hall, Luki pressed up against our backs. Other than these brief respites we toil constantly, pausing only when Gerda brings the food she’s prepared. We must stop at that point, as she won’t leave the room until we’ve eaten something. She also orders us out once a day to clean up and change clothes. She claims we need to be sensitive to the odors assailing her nostrils, even if we’re oblivious to the smell ourselves.
Fortunately Voss has stayed away from the palace, traveling on one of his mysterious journeys. This suits me well enough. I don’t trust him around Gerda, or Kai. I pray his fascination with testing Gerda’s good nature was just a passing fancy.
It’s difficult to see the days fly by, knowing what waits for me, but I fight my fears and focus on my task. I allow nothing else enter my mind, although I must confess I catch myself carefully observing every interaction between Kai and Gerda. I know once the mirror is complete they will both disappear from my life. That’s to be expected. The joys of friendship or family are not for me. I am doomed to live alone, whatever happens. So for now I shove my terror into the recesses of my mind and take pleasure in sharing a little time with human companions.
In truth, I find Kai’s behavior around Gerda baffling. He’s very sweet, but in an off-hand manner that reminds me of the way he treats Luki. I see her desire for something more—she’s always finding reasons to touch him—but Kai seems oblivious to her adoration. I know nothing of family, yet even I recognize his attitude as one an older brother might adopt toward an admiring younger sister. Glimpsing the hurt in Gerda’s blue eyes twists something in my breast. I understand that yearning for a dream one can’t quite grasp. I felt it so keenly that day in the university lecture hall.
“There was a commotion in the kitchen just now.” Gerda hands Kai a bowl of stew. “Luki dashed off for a run as if the devil was behind him, and the other animals were all darting about, scurrying to make everything just so.”
“Oh.” I look at Kai. “Voss must have returned. That always throws them into a panic.” I swirl my spoon in my bowl of stew. “Try to avoid Voss, if you can, Gerda. He’s not the most pleasant individual.”
“I don’t plan to seek him out.” Gerda perches on a stool dragged in from the kitchens. “Don’t just play with your food, Thyra. Eat.”
I lick the spoon and wave it at her. “One thing’s for sure, you have that mother talk down pat.”
Gerda blushes and casts a glance at Kai. “I’d love to have a lot of children.”
Kai pauses in his effort to shovel stew into his mouth. “What’s a lot?”
“Oh, at least four or five.”
Choking on a bit of stew, Kai doesn’t answer. I lean over to slap him on his back as water fills his eyes. “Sounds charming. So you don’t plan to have anything to do with the mill? After all, you’re the eldest in your family, so you’re equal to Kai in my opinion. In terms of inheritance, I mean.” I smile at Gerda, who’s eyeing me inquisitively.
“I could, I suppose,” says the girl. This sends Kai into another paroxysm of coughing. Gerda stares at him suspiciously. “I’m not stupid. My mother kept the books after my father died. She’s taught me quite a bit. I think I could contribute to the business, if need be.”
I turn my gaze on Kai who shakes his head.
“I’ll let you get back to work.” Gerda hops off the stool and collects my bowl, frowning at the food I’ve left. As she takes the bowl from Kai she allows her fingers to linger on his hand. “Did you like it?” She looks up at him from under lowered lashes.
“It was good,” Kai replies absently. “Thanks, little one.”
Gerda cradles the bowl to her breast and stares at his averted profile. He’s already examining one of the remaining shards. Her lower lip trembles, but she straightens and offers me a quick smile before leaving the Hall.
Not only brave, but tougher than she first appears. Kai could do worse, indeed.
“So, what do you think?” I ask as I join him in studying the
mirror fragments.
“About what?” Kai glances from the empty section of the looking glass to the shard he’s holding.
“Marrying Gerda. She’s not half-bad, you know, for a village girl.”
“What?” Kai leans in and adjusts the fragment with great precision. It clicks instantly into place against the finished edge of the glass. “Yes!” He turns and grins at me. “Another piece placed.”
“That means we only have four left, including mine and Voss’s.”
“And a good thing too.” Kai’s expression sobers. “There are only three days before your birthday.”
I look away, toying with the shard I’m holding. “I know.”
“Don’t worry. We’ll do it. I swear.” Kai plucks the shard from my fingers and lays it on the table. “We still have time.” He takes hold of my crooked elbows and turns me slightly, so I face him. “I won’t allow you to become a wraith.”
“It’s not necessarily in your power to prevent it.” I meet his intense gaze, wondering if I’m blushing as much as Gerda was earlier.
“You said you’d rather die.” Kai leans in and presses his forehead against mine. “It would destroy me to do it, but if you wished ... ”
I place my hands against his chest. “No, Kai. I appreciate the offer, but it wouldn’t help. If I die before the deadline I still become a wraith. It’s part of the enchantment of the mirror, a magic even Voss can’t overrule.”
“Damn him to hell,” says Kai with sudden fury. He slips his arms about me, pulling me close. “I don’t suppose killing Voss would do any good either?”
“Not that we could accomplish it, but no—the enchantment would still hold.” I shift in his arms until my head’s resting on his chest. Kai’s heart beats rapidly beneath my ear but I’m strangely calm. A wave of pleasure washes over me. It’s a sensation I haven’t felt in so long I can barely name it.
“You should consider teaching Gerda how to manage the mill.” My words are muffled in the folds of Kai’s woolen tunic.
“Gerda? Why are you talking about Gerda all the sudden?” Kai pushes me back and holds me at arm’s length, examining my face.
“Because you must attend the university. You’ll be miserable if you give it up and stay in the village to run the family business. Even if you are happily married to Gerda and have a large, lovely family.”
Kai frowns. “How many times do I have to tell you I’m not marrying anyone? And what’s that smile for?”
I lift my chin and wrinkle my nose at him. “Picturing you with a cottage full of children racing about and screaming as you attempt to solve a sticky equation.”
The corners of his mouth twitch. “I see. You don’t think I could handle that?”
I shrug. “Well, you’ve snapped at me often enough when I’ve disturbed your train of thought.”
“Oh, and you haven’t laid into me for the same thing?” Kai taps my lips with his fingers. “Face it, we’re very much alike in that regard.”
I catch his fingers as they fall away from my face. “We’re alike in many ways, Kai Thorsen.” I raise our clasped hands and press them against his chest. “Equal in intellect and determination.”
“And pride, as Voss observed.”
“That too.” I feel Kai’s heartbeat drumming under my fingers. “I haven’t spent a lot of time with people these last few years, but even before, in the village, I always felt alone. It never seemed as if I could connect with other humans, not really. They all stared at me as if I was something foreign or strange. Not just because I was an orphan but also because the things I wanted to know, to talk about, were of no interest to them.” I look into Kai’s eyes and read understanding there. “When I met you, as a child, it was like a window was opened to another world. I saw there were other people like me, that I wasn’t the only one who found mathematics as fascinating as the cut of a pair of shoes.”
Kai lowers our hands, loosening his grip to caress my fingers. “And I saw a girl who could challenge any boy, at anything, and win.”
“And that didn’t bother you?” I lift my free hand and stroke the side of his face.
“No.” Kai captures my hand and presses a kiss into my palm.
“Most boys don’t care to be challenged by a girl.” I shiver as Kai gently pushes back my sleeve and trails kisses up my arm to the curve of my elbow.
Kai lifts his head and pulls me closer. “Most boys—and sadly, men—don’t appreciate a woman who’s as intelligent as you. But I can’t imagine spending my time with anyone who doesn’t keep pace with me. How boring that would be.”
“You like spending time with me, then?” I allow his arms to fold about me.
“Usually. When you aren’t driving me to distraction.” Kai’s expression changes to an intent stare that makes me inhale sharply. “Thyra Winther, the only girl who can calculate almost as well as me.”
“As well,” I reply, tilting back my head.
Kai smiles. “As well.” He lifts one hand from my back and uses his fingers to trace the contours of my lips. Trailing the fingers along my jaw, he slides his hand around to cradle the back of my head. “The only girl.” He kisses me.
He kisses me. I know nothing of love or lust, but it doesn’t matter. Nothing matters except the touch of his lips on mine. I savor the taste of him for a moment before I return the kiss, allowing my instincts to guide me.
Kai lifts his head and gazes into my eyes. His fingers caress my neck, sliding down to the hollow of my throat. “This is impossible, you know.”
“I know.” The look in his dark eyes is heating my blood faster than Voss’s magic ever could.
“Once the mirror’s complete you’ll come into your full power as the Snow Queen.” Kai strokes my shoulder before sliding his fingers down my arm. “Your immortality puts you out of my reach.” He entwines my fingers in his.
I shake my head. “I’m not interested in immortality. I simply want to live, in my own body, with my mind intact. That’s all that matters to me.”
Kai kisses me again before whispering in my ear. “The immortality comes with that, doesn’t it?”
I sigh and lay my head on his shoulder. “Yes. It was never my choice.”
“I know.” Kai pushes me back slightly but keeps hold of my hands. “I suspect Thyra Winther would prefer to be an ordinary mortal.” He smiles. “No, not ordinary. You could never be that, no matter what.”
“I would trade it all”—I lift our clasped hands to my breast—“to travel beside you, to attend the university. To study and to learn, with you as my best, my closest, friend.”
Kai raises his eyebrows. “Only a friend?”
“I said closest.” I squeeze his fingers.
Breaking my grip Kai puts his arms around me. His hands slide down my back to my waist. “How close?”
“Very?” I lean in and meet his searching lips.
This kiss melts my bones like sun on ice. I throw my arms about Kai to keep from sliding to the floor. We’re pressed so close even the wind can’t whisper between us.
Lost in delight, I don’t hear the double doors open.
I do hear the gasp and cry of “No!”
Gerda’s voice. But she only comes into the Great Hall when it’s time to serve a meal, preferring to leave us alone while we work.
Kai pushes me away. He’s staring at something over my shoulder, all color drained from his skin.
I turn around slowly, blindly reaching for Kai’s hand as I face Gerda. She’s standing just inside the doors. Behind her looms the imposing figure of Mael Voss.
“You see, my dear,” says Voss, his voice cloying as rancid honey, “everything I told you is true. These two so-called friends of yours have betrayed you. No doubt they’ll simply toss you out in the snow once the mirror is complete and they come into their power.”
“Liar!” Kai lunges forward but I use my grip on his hand, and a little magic, to keep him anchored next to me. He casts Gerda an imploring gaze. “He’s deceiving
you, Gerda. Can’t you tell?”
I hold out my free hand, coaxing the calm to slow Gerda’s thundering heartbeats. “Come to us. Voss only seeks to hurt you, to shatter your love and trust. He can’t abide goodness in any form.”
Voss’s cruel cackle fills the chamber. “She can believe the evidence of her own eyes. The two of you, so closely entwined. That seems like more than friendship to me, does it not, little one?” He grips Gerda’s shoulder with his boney fingers.
The sight of Voss’s hands on Gerda is too much for Kai. He breaks my grip and flies at the wizard. Gerda stands between the two men—a small, forlorn figure.
Kai halts right before her, the toes of their boots touching. “My dear friend,” he says, reaching for her hands. “Come away from this evil. Don’t listen to his lies. You know me. I would never harm you.”
Gerda lifts her golden head and looks Kai in the eye, wearing an expression that mimics the wraiths’ tortured masks. She raises one hand as if to press it in Kai’s open palm, then swings and slaps him hard across the face.
Kai rocks back, holding his hand to his cheek.
“I saw you.” Gerda’s voice is low and laced with venom. “The two of you, kissing like ... like that.”
“Gerda,” Kai pleads, “it doesn’t mean I don’t care about you. We’ve always been friends. You’re like a sister to me.”
I move to Kai’s side, shooting him a warning glance. Little as I know about human relations, I know sister is the last thing Gerda wants to hear from Kai.
Gerda launches into me, beating her fists against the crossed arms I’ve thrown up to protect my face. “You witch!” she screams. “You used your magic to steal him from me, sorceress!”
I shove her away. She crumples to the floor, burying her face in her hands, sobs wracking her body. Kai kneels beside her, one hand hovering over her shoulder.
I point a finger at Voss. “You did this.”
“Indeed.” The mage pulls his black velvet robe about him. The garment’s gold embroidery flashes in the light like sparks from a dying fire. “It took very little skill. All I had to do was whisper a few words in the girl’s ear while she slept, planting the seed of doubt. Then I waited for the right moment, which I knew I would sense, even from afar. After that it was a simple matter to guide her here to observe your little romantic interlude.” Voss’s eyes cloud over, as if he’s thinking of something, or someone else. “I have proven my point, I believe. All goodness can be corrupted, given the right conditions, and time.”
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