by Hannah Gray
I always look around the crowd when I walk out on the field, wondering—well, hoping—that her beautiful eyes are watching me. But it was pretty clear when she didn’t show up to graduation that she was long gone. I do hope she finds happiness. Though if I’m being honest, the thought of her with another man drives me batshit crazy. Wherever the hell she is, I hope she’s doing well.
I shower and meet some of the guys at an exclusive club, where we won’t be bombarded with fans. I’m not one to get hammered or anything these days, but come on, my team just won the motherfucking Super Bowl. So, I plan on getting a little fucked up.
forty-five
Cameran
May
Okay, so I love my job. I really do. But dang, these children are little petri dishes. I mean, I just missed a full week of school because they had given me strep and bronchitis. I Lysol my room every chance I get, but these little ones touch everything in their sight. At least they are adorable though.
Walking into the school doors, I grin like a fool. Missing the entire week last week sucked. I missed these kiddos so much, and I am so happy to be here. The school itself is fairly small. There are two kindergarten classes. We each have twelve kids in our classroom.
Principal Henderson pokes her blonde head in. “Feeling better, Cameran? It’s so nice to see you have returned. Your kids certainly missed you!”
I smile. She’s the sweetest lady, yet she knows when to crack the whip on the kids when they’ve pushed her or her teachers too far.
“I’m feeling much better. It’s so good to be back. I hope they were all right for the substitute.”
She wrinkles her face. “Ehh … we’ll discuss that later. Let’s just say, I don’t believe Ms. Beal will be pushing to substitute anytime soon.”
I cover my mouth to hide my laugh. My students can be very … spirited, I guess you could say.
“Anyway, I’m stopping in to let you know we have a speaker coming in this morning. You were out all week, and I was going to shoot you an email, but then it skipped my brain. We’ll announce when to bring them down.”
“Okay, great. They will be so excited.”
She smiles and backs out of the door, waving her hand behind her. Now, hopefully, my little minions will be quiet for the speaker, whoever he or she is.
Trent
“Dude, why did we agree to do this?” Cole groans next to me.
I watch our driver’s mouth turn up in amusement.
“Would you quit your bitching? It’s going to take an hour. Besides, don’t you remember ever seeing one of your idols on TV when you were little? Well, to some of these kids, we are their idols, and they get to see us in person. So, pull your tampon out and turn on that Coffin charm.”
He grumbles a little longer, but eventually, he gets over it.
The school contacted the team’s GM a few weeks ago and asked if we could come sometime at the end of the school year. I happened to have a few days off right now, so I volunteered Cole and myself. As you can see, he’s super excited.
We walk toward the school, a few of the team’s security guards trailing behind.
“Hopefully, there will at least be some hot teachers,” Cole mumbles.
I chuckle. “There you go, seeing the positive side. Thatta boy.”
I remember my dad taking me to meet and greets when I was a kid. Of course, it was probably easier for me since he was from the football world, giving me more opportunities to meet my idols. I remember it leaving an impression on me. I wanted to be just like them when I grew up. As cocky as it sounds, I knew I’d be here one day. It was the only dream I ever had, and no one was going to stand in my way.
Cameran
“Attention. Grades K through three, make your way to the gym now.”
The kids all jump up and form a line. They look like they’ve had ants in their pants since the principal called the upper grades ten minutes ago.
“Okay, friends, what do we need to do once we get in the gym?”
“Sit together and be very quiet and respectful to the speaker,” they yell out together.
I nod. “Good job. I know you guys can do this. You are all awesome listeners.”
I lead my little ones to the gymnasium, glancing back every few seconds to make sure I have them all. You’d be surprised how many times one of them gets sidetracked. “Okay, everyone, take a seat on this line, right next to Abby.”
Most of them do as they were told. I have to give the “teacher eyes” to a few of them, but in the end, they are sitting on their bottoms, facing forward. I turn and give them the thumbs-up.
Alivia, the second-grade teacher and also one of my best friends, scoots over. “Did you hear who the speaker is? I’m already salivating.”
Confused, I shake my head. “Who is it?”
She’s about to answer, and that’s when the door opens, leaving my mouth agape.
“Trent?”
“Um, yeah, Trent Kade and also Cole Coffin. Good Lord, those are two fine specimens.” She pretends to fan herself and then turns toward me. “Cam, you don’t look so good. Are you okay?”
Unable to nod or talk back, I just stare at Trent.
“You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” she says too loudly.
I turn and shush her like she’s one of my five-year-olds.
She mouths, Sorry, and then holds her hands up.
“Let’s talk about it after,” I whisper.
She gives me a questioning look but thankfully drops it.
Principal Henderson stands in front of the podium. “Students, today, we have two very special guests. Both of these men are on the New England Patriots team and just won the Super Bowl back in February. We have a lot of students who have shown great interest in football these past few years. These two took to football at a very young age and are here today to speak with all of you about it.”
Some kids are going insane with excitement. No doubt, these two men are huge idols to them.
He hasn’t spotted me yet, so I take a minute to take him in.
He looks even better after two years, if that’s even possible. His arms have somehow gotten even bigger than they were in college. I can see his muscles straining against his long-sleeved black shirt. His hair is shaved short at the sides and just barely long enough on top to style it, so it looks like he woke up that way. He let his beard come in, so it’s more prominent. I have to admit, it’s really sexy. He looks so grown-up, and as always, he appears so confident.
My mouth suddenly feels painfully dry.
My mind flashes back to a time in his bed. I asked him where he’d be in five years.
“Hopefully, by then, I’ll have won a Super Bowl, but other than that, I don’t know. Other than football, I’ve never had goals. What about you?”
I flipped over onto my stomach and looked up at him. “Honestly, I hope I feel grounded. I’m tired of running all the time. I want to feel like I’m at home.”
I snap my mind back to the present and listen to his beautiful, encouraging words to the students. He tells them to always believe in themselves and recognize their abilities. But he also tells them to not let football overtake their lives because there are lots of other important parts of life.
He’s just finishing his speech and getting ready to hand it over to his teammate when his eyes find mine. Stumbling over his last few words, he steps away from the podium and takes the seat where his teammate was, never looking my way again.
Trent
What are the chances? Really? I mean, for fuck’s sake, how many schools are there in Massachusetts? And I came to the one she works at? I guess that answers my question on what she decided to do as a career.
It’s been over two years since I’ve laid eyes on her, and I certainly wasn’t ready today. It wouldn’t be hard to look me up, for Christ’s sake. I’m in the NFL. I always thought, eventually, she’d reach out, but I guess I thought wrong.
Now seeing her, she’s even more beautiful. As always, sh
e lights up the entire room. Her hair is cut a little bit shorter and is down in its natural waves, and she has on a baby-blue sundress that I’d love to run my fingers up, so I could feel those sexy thighs.
I’m broken from my thoughts by clapping, and I see Cole heading back toward me. I chance a look at Cameran again, and I see she’s kneeling down, speaking to a bunch of tiny little shits. They all watch her and nod their heads up and down before lining up behind her. She pushes to her feet, and her eyes move to me. Her lips turn up into a small smile, and every bit of stubbornness I had two minutes ago disappears into thin air. She holds her hand up and waves. I wave back and smile.
“Who is that?” Cole says from behind me.
“Back off, Coffin. No one you’re going to get to know on that level.”
“Whoa. If I didn’t know better, I’d say that’s the girl Mason told me about.”
I ignore him and jog after Cameran. She turns around to check the kids. When she spots me, her cheeks redden. It was always adorable to me how easily she would blush.
“Cameran. Fancy meeting you here,” I drawl.
Her eyes bounce from me to her line of tiny tyrants. “Yes, that’s for sure. I can’t really talk right now. Getting these kids to the room is a task in itself.”
I chuckle, glancing at them.
One of the boys next to Cameran pulls at my hand. “Hey, mister?”
I kneel down. “Yes, my man?”
“My mommy has the hots for you. Daddy says so.”
I burst into laughter and glance up at Cameran, who rolls her eyes and covers her mouth with her hand, trying not to crack up.
I shrug. “Well, tell your mom I said hello.” I stand back up and turn toward her. “So, when can you talk?”
If there was ever a sign from the universe, this is it. I need to at least put in one last-ditch effort before giving up all hope.
She chews her bottom lip, thinking of what to say. “Tonight?”
I give her a victorious grin and nod. I figured she’d shoot me down. “Tonight it is then. Your number still the same?”
She looks down and nods.
“All right then. I’ll text you in a bit.” I begin to strut away but turn around. Leaning into her ear, I say quietly so only she hears, “I see you haven’t stopped biting those perfect lips of yours, and it still drives me crazy.” And with that, I head out the door.
Today is a good fucking day.
forty-six
Cameran
“Are you serious! For real? Are you fucking with me, Cam?” Anna’s ability to not give a crap about who’s around when she lets swear words fly always cracks me up. She props the phone up against something and leans toward it, giving me a full view of her new nose ring.
We were scheduled for our weekly FaceTime tomorrow, but apparently, she wanted to show me her new piercing. Turned out, I had news of my own.
“I swear it. I had no freaking clue. I was standing there, and Liv started gushing about the speakers. Then, Trent and his teammate walked in. I almost pooped my damn pants.” I’m talking to her while touching up my makeup in the bathroom mirror.
“Cameran,” Anna says in a serious tone.
I finish applying a little mascara and glance over. “Yes?”
She tilts her chin down and lifts her eyebrows. “If you don’t see this as a sign from the universe, I might have to bitch-slap you.”
I lean against the sink. “I know. It certainly seems that way, doesn’t it?”
“Mmhmm,” she drawls. “And what have you said for two years now? How would you know if it was meant to be?”
“I know, Anna,” I say, frustration lacing my voice.
She’s constantly giving me shit when I don’t want to hear it. I always said if the universe knew we were supposed to be together, it would find a way to bring us together one day when we were both ready.
Blowing hair from my eyes, I stand up and smooth my hair down. “It’s been two years. He probably doesn’t even want me anymore. I mean, hello, he’s a famous athlete.”
She rolls her eyes. “Trust me, sweet cheeks, that man will always want you.”
I’m not convinced. I know he thinks I left him, and I guess I did, but I needed to leave him to find me. I hope he can see that.
After some more obnoxious comments, we say good-bye with the promise that I’ll call her tonight with the “dirty deets.” So Anna to ask such things. God love her, but she’s downright crazy.
Trent
I pull up to the address Cameran gave me and look up. It’s a newer-looking apartment building with a huge park outside. It’s nice. That settles my nerves because I’ve wondered all this time where she was living and if she was safe. This place seems safe.
Jumping out of my truck, I make my way to her door and hit the buzzer.
She pokes her head out the window upstairs. “The buzzer is broken to let you in. I’ll be right down!”
Before I can answer, she backs out of the window, and a few moments later, she opens the door. Her hair is in one of her usual messy braids, and she’s changed out of that baby-blue dress she was wearing. That’s a damn shame because blue was always my favorite color on her. Instead, she’s wearing those tight black workout pants and a Boston Red Sox T-shirt.
“You found me,” she says nervously.
“It appears that I did,” I drawl.
“Well, come on in.” She turns and holds the door open for me to follow her up the stairs.
I look around the apartment, feeling relieved that there is no sight of any dude’s belongings here. That would have crippled me to see some other prick’s shit strewed around.
“So, how long have you been a teacher at Hartsville Elementary?”
I no more than get the words out of my mouth when the loudest, deepest, most terrifying bark comes from the other room, followed by what sounds like a dinosaur running toward me.
“What is that?” I watch as this horse-like creature jumps up on the couch and lands next to Cameran, laying his huge-ass head on her chest.
She giggles and scratches his ears, putting her nose against his. “This is Hank, my dog. Isn’t he awesome?” She goes on to talk to him in that crazy-dog-lady voice.
“I mean, are you sure he’s a dog or … maybe, like, part horse?”
This dog’s head is the size of a damn truck. His eyes watch me like he’s mocking me because his head gets to lay on my girl’s chest.
“He’s a bullmastiff. I’ve always wanted a fawn-colored bullmastiff, so when I got my own place, it’s the first thing I did. He’s my best friend.” She continues scratching his ears, and he looks up at her, snuggling in. It’s pretty clear they have a close bond.
“Well, I think he might eat me if I come any closer, so I’ll sit over here.” I nod to the other couch, and she laughs.
“So, what made you speak at Hartsville today?” She watches me closely, and then it hits me that she probably thinks I set this up.
I shrug. “They called us a few weeks ago about a potential speaker. I don’t think they actually thought anyone would agree to it, but I had some time open in my schedule, so I agreed and talked my buddy Cole into it.”
She looks down at the dog and pats his head. “I see.”
“I know what it looks like, but trust me, I had absolutely no idea you worked there,” I answer defensively.
She doesn’t look convinced. “If you say so. It does seem sort of weird though, is all.”
I lean forward and prop my elbows on my knees. “Cameran, I had not even an inkling that you worked there. How could I when your social media is locked up like Fort Knox?”
“It’s only private to those who aren’t my friends.” She arches an eyebrow.
“Well, after getting rejected the first time I tried to add you, I couldn’t take getting rejected again.”
She shakes her head. “Pfft, that was when we were still at NEU. I wasn’t ready to look at your life yet.”
“Well, Cam, it’s a two-wa
y street. You can’t tell me to leave you alone and then be mad when I do as you asked.” I’m aware my voice rises slightly, causing Cujo to lift his huge melon up and look at me. If this dog could talk, he’d be saying, Fuck you, for sure. “Besides, how do I know you didn’t set up this whole speech thing? That seems way more likely.”
“Oh, please. I was out all last week. I didn’t know you were coming until thirty seconds before you walked in.”
Worry fills my gut. “Is everything okay?”
“Oh, yeah. I had strep and bronchitis. My students like to share their nasty germs with me.”
“So, when did you figure out you wanted to be a teacher? When we were … whatever we were, you weren’t sure.”
She smiles and looks down at the dog again as he snores lightly. “It’s a funny story actually. Thanksgiving, I had to work.” She looks up at me.
I nod. “I remember,” I say.
She continues, “There was a family with two young kids, and … I don’t know … I just realized I wanted to teach pre-K or kindergarten.”
I remember watching her with those kids, the way she knelt down to talk to them. I overheard the girl ask Cam if she was a princess. I smile at the memory.
“Anyway, that just sort of solidified that I was on the right path. I mean, don’t get me wrong; they are a lot, but I love my students. I missed them so much last week.”
I glance around the room. “I remember that day well.”
“Yes, you were with your dad. It seemed like you two were doing, dare I say, okay?” she says with her eyebrows pulled together.
I chuckle. I’m sure she was shocked that my father and I were enjoying a meal while tolerating each other. “That was the first day to us getting along actually.”
Her mouth opens. “What? Trent, that’s incredible. I had no idea you and your dad had finally fixed your relationship.”