Mom shuts the door as I step in. “I hope you’re hungry. We’ve planned a special dinner to welcome you.”
“Oh. That’s nice. Thanks.” I was hungry before I reached the island, but the unexpected guests have spoiled my appetite.
I follow Mom into the kitchen where I encounter the back of a broad-shouldered man, his head bent over a cutting board. I can’t help but notice how his faded jeans and pale blue shirt fit his body perfectly, accenting his narrow waist and firm ass.
Somehow, before he even turns, I know it’s Jake, and it bothers me that I can still recognize him so easily after six years, and that I know without a doubt that it’s him and not his identical twin Josh. I don’t want to know him so well anymore.
“Maddy. Hi.” His voice is low and hesitant. His face is clean-shaven, his hair freshly trimmed, and all of him is broader than I remember. His shirt strains to contain the muscular body beneath it.
I quickly look away as I mumble a quick “hi” in response. There’s a pan of lasagna on the stove and Jake is cutting a cucumber for the salad that sits in front of him. Mom pulls a pan of cloverleaf rolls from the oven and I feel my hunger return. It’s been much too long since I’ve had her cooking, and I shouldn’t let the presence of the Hardings ruin my enjoyment. Somehow that seems like it would be letting them win.
“Do you need to wash up, sweetie? Join us in the dining room in a few minutes.”
Grateful for an excuse to get away, I escape up the stairs rather than crossing the downstairs area where I could encounter the others. There are more voices coming from the living room as well as the sound of sports on the television.
Passing by my bedroom, I’m grateful to see that it looks the same as it did on my last visit. In the bathroom, I splash cool water on my cheeks and check my reflection. I wish I had a fresh haircut, but then I remind myself that I’m not here to impress anyone. Of course, I don’t care what any of the Harding brothers think of me.
I push my shoulders back and keep my head high as I return downstairs. The TV is off now and the household sounds are concentrated in the dining room. Seeing Jake wasn’t that bad. One down, three more to go, I assume. Let’s get this meal over with.
I am so naive sometimes.
Everyone is already seated when I enter the room. Mike’s at the head of the table opposite Mom. Adam and Matt are on one side, and across from them are Josh and Jake. The only empty chair is in the small space between the twins. What the actual hell?
“You’ll have to squeeze in, dear,” Mom says. “Even with the table leaf in, space is tight.”
That’s an understatement. All of these men make our dining room look like it was made for a dollhouse.
Jake stands, and I squeeze past him to take my place. I try not to meet anyone’s eyes, but across from me, Matt says hello, and Adam says, “Welcome home, Mads.”
Mads? It’s not the worst thing he’s called me. Not by far.
Casting around for a safe place to focus, I see Mom looking happy and hopeful, so I manage a small smile to mask my irritation. I can get through this for her sake. It’s just one dinner. Surely this won’t become a habit, will it? Oh god, what if it does?
It occurs to me that this is now essentially a family dinner, and the thought takes away my fickle appetite again. These men are going to be my stepbrothers. I feel a little queasy.
To my right, Josh, who has been uncharacteristically quiet, simply says, “Hey,” as he passes me the bread basket. I can’t help but notice the scruff of beard on his face and the way he’s wearing his hair a bit longer now.
“It’s so great to finally have all of you together,” Mom says.
“It sure is,” Mike agrees. “We’re all glad to have you back, Madison.”
Yeah, right. I’m pretty certain all of his sons are about as happy to see me as I am to see them. Which is to say, not at all. This is one of those bizarre moments you never imagine for your life. I’m supposed to be living my dream life in the city. Instead, I’m seated around a very crowded table with four men I’d hoped never to see again. And we’re about to become related to each other.
I take a small portion of lasagna that Mike is dishing out. I’ll be lucky to eat at all.
Mom keeps the conversation going as I try to look busy pushing food around on my plate. The men are all eating heartily but they join in the discussion, seeming comfortable with my mother and with this new family arrangement.
Jake’s arm brushes mine and I flinch as if burned. I’d like to shift away from him, but I’d bump into Josh on my other side.
“Tomorrow we’ll go to the dress shop in Whitman, Maddy. I saw a few dresses there for you when I got mine. You can see what you like.”
“Sounds good, Mom.”
“They open at ten. We’ll go early and then we’ll have the rest of the day at the bakery to get you up to speed.”
“Sounds good.”
“I’m nervous about being away for three whole weeks. Such an extravagant honeymoon.” Mom smiles across at Mike.
“It’s only the beginning, Jen. You deserve it. And I’m sure Madison will do a great job with the shop while you’re away.”
Across the table, Adam and Matt are both staring at me. I meet their eyes, expecting them to look away as people normally do, but they continue to stare with unreadable expressions.
I’m kind of pissed at how good looking they both still are. Why couldn’t they have grown warts or gone prematurely bald, or just somehow become less attractive to match their ugly personalities? Instead, if anything, they look better. They were cute boys in high school; now they’re sexy men. I look down at my plate and try to manage a small bite of a roll.
After what feels like three years have passed, Mom stands. “Is everyone ready for dessert?” Everyone else’s plate is empty but mine is still half full. “Are you feeling okay, Maddy?”
“I’m fine. It must just be the long drive.”
“Maybe some dessert? I made a special treat for you.”
Mike stands, too, collecting plates from the table. When I see that he and my mom are planning to exit the room together, I attempt to stand in my limited space. “Can I help?”
“Don’t be silly, dear. Sit and relax. I’ll be right back with dessert.”
I sink back into my seat and attempt to make myself as small and unnoticeable as possible. I wish that I could shrink up completely and disappear.
“Long time, no see, Mads,” Adam says as soon as our parents have left the room.
I respond without thinking. “I wish it had been longer.”
“Ouch!” Beside me, Josh laughs, seeming delighted that I insulted his older brother.
“No one’s ever made any complaints to me about length before, Mads.” Adam arches a brow and smirks.
I silently beg my face not to turn red, and I refuse to let my brain think about the length of Adam’s penis. “I’ll bet they’ve complained about plenty of other things, though.”
“Sounds like the city has made you mean, Maddy Bean.” Adam stretches back in his chair, arms folded behind his head. I want to smack the grin off his cocky face.
Beside him, Matt has the decency to look uncomfortable.
There’s silence for a few moments until Mom returns, announcing, “Ginger apple pie!”
I desperately want to leave the room, having had more than enough of the situation, but I don’t want to upset Mom. This is about her happiness and her upcoming wedding, and I can just suck it up for a bit longer. Soon, she and Mike will be out of town, and I won’t need to see the Harding brothers, except probably on holidays.
When will I ever learn?
4
Lewd or rude, or both
The weather is beautiful the day of the wedding, and the house is calm and fairly quiet as we get ready for the ceremony. I think about how things will be extra quiet when I return, as I’ll be here alone. Having only ever lived with Mom and then with multiple roommates, it will be a new experience to be on
my own.
I help Mom with her hair, pulling it back in loose waves to match the style of her flowy bohemian dress.
“There’s still time to back out,” I tease. Much of my apprehension about my mother’s whirlwind romance has lifted after multiple encounters with Mike this past week. He’s still on a probationary period in my mind, but so far his actions have shown me that he’ll be a good partner for my mom. He’s been helpful, dependable, and he’s clearly very much in love with her.
“You’re funny.” She gives me a silly frown before her face softens. “You look lovely, dear. And thank you for being here for me.”
“Of course. Always.”
The ceremony is being held at a park on a hill overlooking one of the four scenic points that gives the island its name. We drive there separately, and I head over early, my little car loaded with pastries and a small but exquisitely decorated wedding cake.
I’m unloading food from my backseat when a truck pulls into the lot. Adam, in the driver’s seat, leans out of his window as he approaches the spot next to mine. “Did you get up on the right side of the bed today, Mads?”
I pretend I don’t hear him.
I managed to avoid seeing the brothers all week, and during that time I made a promise to myself that I would be pleasant today, with the hope that this will be the last time I need to see them for quite a while. Today is Mom’s day, and I will be civil and polite to the four men. I see no reason to be friendly, though.
Though I try to grab what I need and rush off to the pavilion before Adam parks his truck, I’m not quick enough.
“What can we help you with, Mads?” Both Adam and Matt are suddenly beside me, looking irritatingly tall, dark, and handsome in light gray sports jackets. The ocean breeze carries the fresh scent of cologne past my nose.
“Nothing. I’m good.”
Ignoring my response completely, Matt reaches into the hatchback beside me and pulls out a box from the bakery. “Where would you like these?” he asks.
Add pushy to the list of things I don’t like about these men.
“Over there.” I tilt my head toward our reserved pavilion. “But first, I need to put table covers down.”
I try to circle around the car to look on the passenger side for the missing cloths, but Adam is blocking my way. “You look especially nice today, Maddy.”
His sincere-sounding compliment takes me by surprise. If I were being honest, I’d have to say he and Matt both look really good today as well, but I keep that observation to myself. The men really know how to fill out suit jackets, but they don’t need me telling them that.
“The color of your dress really brings out the red in your cheeks when you’re angry.”
Matt chuckles at his brother’s remark, annoying me even more.
“Who says I’m angry?”
“Well, I assumed you were angry by the way you’re acting. Or are you just unpleasant like this all the time now?” He shakes his head and clucks his tongue in disapproval. “The city really changed you. You used to be such a sweet girl.”
“I’m still a perfectly nice person, just not to you.”
Another truck pulls up, and moments later the twins are beside me. My stomach, already tense since Adam and Matt’s arrival, gives another little twist.
Josh and Jake are wearing the same light gray jackets, so the men coordinate. Though they’re wearing different colored khakis, under the jackets they’re all wearing the same pale blue dress shirts, open at the neck. “I didn’t know a boy band was performing at the wedding,” I say, looking them over.
Their laughter loosens the knot in my stomach. “We’re only available for private shows,” Adam says. “Maybe tonight?”
Wait – is he flirting? That definitely sounded flirty, or maybe he’s just being crude and trying to make me uncomfortable. The thought of the four of them giving me a private show definitely makes parts of me very uncomfortable. Hot and a bit tingly.
I ignore Adam again – it’s something I’m getting quite good at – find the tablecloth and start setting up the pavilion. The brothers have my car unloaded in one trip, and to the things I brought, they add a coffee urn, cups, cream, and sugar. They also bring an arch, wrapped with sheer white fabric and silk greenery, and mount it into the ground several yards away from the pavilion, marking a site for the ceremony.
As I arrange the refreshment tables, my attention is drawn to the amazing view below. The sun is bright in the sky, the ocean a deep blue, and the waves rolling into shore give me some sense of peace.
Despite my lack of success, I enjoyed living in the city. It was full of possibility, and there were always things happening. I didn’t realize how much I missed my island home until just now.
“Need anything else?” Jake, standing next to me, startles me out of my trance.
I look around and survey the pretty tables, ready for the post-ceremony reception. “I think we’re all set.”
Mr. Harding – Mike – walks up then, flanked by the other three brothers. With all of the men standing together, the strong bone structure they share is very noticeable. As they’ve gotten older, the brothers’ faces have broadened and sharpened, less round and with more hard angles.
“Madison, you look lovely,” Mike says.
“Thank you.” I straighten a small stack of napkins, feeling Mike’s sons’ eyes on me.
Other people start to arrive. It’s a small affair with just a few close friends, Mom’s assistant Lonnie, and Mike’s brother and sister and their families. Mom insisted that my uncle and grandparents, who live on the other side of the country, not spend money on plane tickets. Instead, she and Mike plan to visit them soon.
Mom’s best friend, Cynthia, finds me gazing out at the horizon again. “Maddy, your mom would like to see you. She’s in the lot by my car.”
Cynthia accompanies me down, where I find my mom looking radiant and only a little bit nervous.
“What can I do?” I ask.
“I have boutonnieres.” She brings out a box containing one with a red wine-colored flower, and four with white roses and sprigs of greenery. “Cynthia will take Mike’s and I’d like you to give these to the boys. Could you pin them onto their jackets?”
Oh. I want to be helpful today. And also pleasant. But I do not want to have to touch the Harding brothers. “Pin them?” I ask, dumbly.
“Yes, like this.” As she demonstrates, she says, “I think it would be a nice gesture. They’re going to be your stepbrothers now, after all.”
I grit my teeth and go in search of the “boys.”
I find Jake first, in the pavilion, rearranging items I’d already arranged. “I have this for you.” I hold the flower up between us.
“Oh. Okay. Thanks.” He looks a bit startled but gives me a half smile as he reaches for it.
“Would you like me to put it on you? I think it would be hard to pin it on yourself.”
“Sure, thanks.” He shifts to stand straight in front of me and looks out over my head as I stretch to grab his lapel. “You look really nice,” he says, still not looking at me.
“Thanks. My mom actually picked out the dress.”
“I don’t just mean today.” He clears his throat and stands straighter, making me go up on tiptoes to see what I’m doing with the pin. “You’ve – um – grown since you moved away.”
“Oh. Umm… yes, we’ve all gotten a few years older, I guess.”
“Were you glad to come home?”
I release the stem of the rose and wait to see if it will flop over, but it holds. “I’m still figuring that out.”
Next, I find Adam and Josh standing at the edge of the crowd, laughing together.
“My mom sent me over. I have to pin these on your jackets.”
“Pin it on me, babe,” Adam says, his voice a suggestive growl.
I roll my eyes. Why does he have to make everything sound lewd or rude, or both? “I’d like to pin your mouth closed.”
Josh stands clos
e as I start working on Adam’s jacket. The scent of cologne tickles at my nose and I take a deep breath.
“It should be lower,” Adam says.
I drop it down an inch.
“Lower.”
I slide it down another inch to an odd position between his chest and stomach.
“Lower, Mads. Way lower.” He slides his hand into his pants pocket, pulling the fabric tight and directing my eye to the sizable bulge below his belt.
I quickly avert my eyes. “What is wrong with you? As my mom reminded me a few minutes ago, you’re going to be my stepbrother.”
“Ooh – kinky.” He gives me a mock smoldering look as his eyes roam my body.
“Here. Get it yourself.” I shove the boutonniere into his free hand and turn abruptly to Josh, who is biting his lip. “What are you laughing at?”
Josh shakes his head and wipes most of the grin off his face, though his eyes still show his amusement.
I snarl at him before I notice his aunt heading our way. “Hold still.” I set a record for flower-pinning on Josh’s jacket and set off to find Matt. Three jerks down; one to go.
Matt’s across the lawn talking to a woman with a guitar case. When he sees me approaching, he smiles and lifts his brows in inquiry.
“I’m sorry to bother you. I have this for you. Can I pin it on?”
“Sure. Excuse me,” he says to the woman before stepping away from her. “Is it almost time to start?”
“Should be, yes.” I reach up to Matt’s chest, but even on tiptoes, I can’t manage. Matt’s height shot up when he was in ninth grade and he’s been the tallest brother ever since. He also has a leaner build than his brothers. That and his shaggy haircut give him the look of a rockstar depending on the clothes he’s wearing. “Sorry, I can’t reach…” I gesture to indicate my problem.
“Oh, sure.” Matt takes a knee and suddenly I’m looking down at him. Him, on one knee in front of me, at a wedding, instantly makes me think of a marriage proposal, and even though I know the idea is beyond ridiculous, I still feel my face flush.
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