by Sarah Price
“I see” was the only reply that Anna could muster.
While Mary continued rambling on with various bits and pieces of gossip that she had picked up, Anna retreated within herself. She remembered that Freman had an affinity for carpentry. It was one of the very reasons why Lydia Rothberger had expressed concern for his interest in Anna. Carpentry was not a very successful business for an Amish man, according to Lydia. And after all, Freman did not come from a family that specialized in working with wood. There was no business to pass from father to son. And, even more important, Holmes County was overrun with carpenters, and many of them were out of work.
To Anna, it didn’t matter whether or not Freman was successful; at least, not in the way that Mary talked about. Instead Anna felt her heart swell with joy that, despite the doubt that so many people had expressed in him, Freman was following his dream. No one had been able to persuade him otherwise.
If only I had been as brave, she pondered.
She looked up, startled at the harshness of Mary’s voice.
“I said could you answer the door! Someone is knocking.” She frowned and stared back into her coffee cup. “Would you have them wait, then?”
If Anna wanted to ask why Mary hadn’t answered the door herself, she made no such inquiry. Instead, she quickly stood up and hurried to the door, surprised to see Leah and Hannah standing there with smiles on their faces.
“The sun is setting, Anna, just over the field,” Hannah said. “We’re going to go walk to see it. It’s the perfect night!”
“Come with us!” Leah urged.
From the kitchen came the sound of a chair’s legs scraping against the floor. Before Anna could respond to the invitation, Mary stood behind her and peered over her shoulder.
“A walk? Why, I’d like to go on a walk! I’ve been cooped up all day, haven’t I, Anna?”
Leah’s expression of joy quickly changed to one that was more serious. “It’s a long walk to the top of the hill, Mary.”
“Long and steep,” Hannah added.
Mary clicked her tongue and reached for her sweater that hung on the wall. “Well,” she huffed. “I don’t think that should stop me at all!”
Gratefully, only Anna saw the look exchanged between Leah and Hannah. Over the past few days, Anna had heard more of her share from both parties in regards to what they truly thought of the other. For Mary, she focused on how often her husband’s family slighted her or didn’t include her in certain events or outings. For Leah and Hannah, they expressed how comfortable they were around Anna and lamented the fact that it was not she who had accepted their brother’s offer of marriage.
To all of this, Anna remained silent, knowing that there was nothing she could add to either conversation that would be remotely useful.
By the time Mary had fetched her shawl, for she claimed fear of catching a chill, Cris too stood outside and waited with Leah and Hannah. Anna glanced up toward the second-story windows, silently wondering about leaving both kinner alone in the house. Seeing the concerned look on her sister’s face, Mary scoffed and waved her hand dismissively.
“Oh, Anna! They are both sound asleep. We won’t be gone more than . . . what? . . . thirty minutes?” She gave a small laugh. “A nice walk will do us all good, ja?”
Behind her, Leah and Hannah looked at each other, a gentle lifting of their eyebrows saying more than words could express about their thoughts of Mary’s behavior. Cris, however, sighed and shook his head. “I best catch up with you women,” he said as he started walking toward the house. “I’ll fetch Mother to keep an eye on the kinner, then.”
Mary gave a short, exasperated sigh and started walking in the opposite direction, leaving the other three women behind as she mumbled about Cris worrying so much about sleeping children. Lowering her head, Anna fell into step behind her sister, embarrassed both by the clear disregard felt by Mary for her own children and by her sisters-in-laws’ clear disdain for Mary.
The four women walked down the lane, the sun curving in the sky as it dipped toward the hill behind the back fields. True to Leah’s words, the incline of the hill was steep. Additionally, the dew upon the grass darkened the hem of her dress. The air, however, remained cool.
Leah and Hannah ran ahead, laughing as they ascended the hill. Anna walked slower, more out of kindness to Mary, who struggled along the forged path.
“My word,” she complained, slipping once on the grass. “Is there not any other place to see that sun set? And where is that husband of mine?” She reached for Anna’s extended hand and righted herself. “You’d think he’d be here to assist me!”
“He’s coming now,” Anna said as she glanced over her sister’s shoulder. “And with someone else too, it looks like!” She squinted as she tried to see who accompanied him. “Mayhaps it’s Raymond?”
Mary straightened her dress and looked in the direction of her husband. “Nee,” she said. “He’s too tall to be Raymond.” After a brief hesitation, Mary smiled. “Why, that’s Freman Whittmore!” She laughed and clapped her hands together once. “I bet he’s come calling for Hannah!”
The words tore through Anna and she looked away, ashamed at the way her heart pounded and her palms sweated. You had your chance, she told herself. And you threw it away to please others. She knew that she had no right to deny happiness to either Leah or Hannah. If Freman was intent on marrying one of the Mussers’ daughters, Anna would express her joy and happiness for that union in public, even if she cried in the solitude of her own room.
As Cris and Freman approached, Mary began waving, a wide smile on her face. Anna wondered at her sister’s overt jubilation at Freman’s presence, especially given her less-than-gleeful mood just moments prior.
“What a wunderbarr gut surprise, Freman!”
He nodded his head in her direction, his eyes briefly meeting Anna’s before he looked toward the top of the hill. Seeing Leah and Hannah waving at him, he lifted his hand in response before returning his attention to the two women standing before him. “A lovely sunset indeed,” he said, his voice flat and emotionless.
Mary laughed, still giddy and behaving like a young girl in a way that brought color to Anna’s cheeks. She averted her eyes when her sister gushed, “God blessed us with this cool evening air. A welcome change from the heat, ja?”
“Oh, now, Mary, what heat? I would say God’s taken right gut care of us this summer,” Cris countered. “Not too hot and the crops received just enough water.”
Anna started walking again, more than eager to put a little distance between herself and the discussion behind her, and noticed Hannah returning to Cris and Mary. Now she wished that she had volunteered to stay behind with the boys.
Clearing his throat, Freman mumbled, “Excuse me,” and quickened his pace. With more energy in his step, he passed them and hurried ahead to join Leah, who stood on the crest of the hill.
Despite not wanting to, Anna’s eyes trailed after him, watching his back as he walked up the incline. His broad shoulders certainly spoke of his work ethic; no man who lazed about could be so strong and muscular. The straw hat that sat atop his head looked new, the brim perfectly maintained, an indication that he did not work outdoors. Farmers frequently removed their hats to wipe the sweat from their brows, damaging them in the process. Since replacing hats wasn’t always practical, farmers were easily identified from those Amish men who worked mostly indoors.
At the top of the hill, already waiting for the others, Freman and Leah stood facing the setting sun. Engaged in admiring the beautiful colors that filled the horizon, neither one noticed Anna. Not wishing to interrupt them or be viewed as eavesdropping, Anna stood slightly apart from them, wishing that the others would hurry up and finish their ascent. Despite the distance between herself and the couple, Anna could not, however, avoid overhearing their conversation since their voices carried on the evening breeze.
“What a lovely view,” Freman said, his hands behind his back as he stared toward the s
un. “I have missed such beautiful sunsets. I believe that God paints Ohio’s skies with a special brush.”
Leah glanced up at him, a look upon her face that Anna couldn’t help but observe: adoration. Clearly Anna was not the only one who had noticed that Freman was particularly partial to Leah Musser. As far as Anna knew, the young woman had not courted before, and as she was almost twenty-one, the thought of marriage would certainly be at the forefront of her mind.
“Ohio is rather spectacular,” Leah said.
“Have you traveled outside of the state?” The question was asked with genuine curiosity. “Indiana? Pennsylvania?”
She shook her head. “Nee, I have not.”
Anna glanced over her shoulder, seeing Mary slip on the grass, her flat-bottomed shoes not providing enough traction. Luckily, Cris was close enough to catch her.
“It’s nice to see other places,” Freman said. “Of course, there is no place like home.”
“It must be nice for your schwester to return to Ohio after so many years away,” Leah stated.
“Ah, Sara.” He smiled, glancing down at Leah, and for the briefest of seconds, noticing Anna standing apart from them. “She is most content to be wherever George is, I assure you.”
Leah sighed. “Home is where the heart is, ja?”
Another glance in Anna’s direction preceded his reply. “For most, although some may believe that the heart is where home is, instead.” He didn’t wait for Leah to comment nor did he look at Anna to see her reaction. Instead, he glanced at the sunset once again. “George and Sara had yet to return from his sister’s haus when I left. I pray they have caught this glorious gift from God, although I should worry more about that new horse of theirs. He’s apt to upset the carriage.”
“Prone to spooking, then?” Leah asked.
“Indeed.” Freman shook his head. “It’s a wonder my schwester is willing to ride with George at all, being knocked about so!”
To this, Leah smiled and, in a gesture so unexpected and rare, caught his attention by touching his arm. “Oh, Freman, you might look at it as being knocked about and riding within a cloud of danger, but I can assure you that if I felt the same way about my husband as Sara feels for George, I’d never want to be left at home, either.” She tilted her head and looked toward the sun so that her eyes were downcast. “I’d want to be by his side always. There would be no amount of persuasion to convince me otherwise.”
Anna fought the urge to do more than glance at the couple. Their intimacy now quite apparent, Anna forced herself to walk a bit farther away, but not before she heard Freman respond.
“Is that so, Leah? Why! I find that most honorable!”
The combination of her words and his response, coupled with his previous statement about the home being, for some, where the heart is, cut straight through her. Her memory flashed back eight years prior, to the long discussions Lydia had with her regarding Freman’s position being too precarious for her to consider marriage at such a young age as well as her father’s insistence that not one of his daughters would marry a penniless Whittmore, regardless of whether or not he was in good standing with the Amish community.
Her hands shook and her cheeks turned red, embarrassed at her imprudent decision to have permitted herself to be persuaded to follow their counsel, not paying any mind to how much she had disagreed with it. She had used him ill, abandoning a man she cared about despite the understanding that they would wed. Oh, she thought, making a fist with her hands so that no one could notice her reaction, if only I had shown greater fortitude. . .
“It’s getting cold!” Mary’s complaint broke Anna’s concentration, for which she was, actually, most thankful. “And my hem is wet!” She glanced at the sky. “And there’s a dark cloud rolling in from the east! Why, this was a horrible idea. I’ll be sick again before the morning sun rises!”
“It’s not going to rain,” Cris reassured her. As if to emphasize his statement, he gestured toward the sunset. “Just enjoy the beautiful colors for a moment, Mary. That is why we all went walking, ja?”
Ignoring his words, she continued to fuss. “I’m not prepared for rain! I haven’t brought an umbrella!” With pursed lips and creases in her brow, she turned to face her husband. “Cris,” she proclaimed in front of everyone, “I would like to return home immediately.”
He sighed. “I do believe you know the way.”
Anna thought she saw Hannah snicker at the rebuke from her brother to his wife.
Mary found it less than humorous. “I would think that you would take my arm and help me. That incline . . . ” She gestured over her shoulder. “Why, I could slip and fall again!”
Without further argument, Cris took ahold of her elbow and guided her back down the trodden path that their shoes had made on the trek to the top. Hannah seemed content to stay, but a fierce look from Leah quickly convinced her otherwise.
“Come, Anna,” Hannah said, her tone cheery despite realizing that Freman’s attention focused on her sister and not herself. “Let’s go down together. We can help each other!” Without waiting, however, Hannah started down the hill, her steps quick and sure in complete opposition to Mary, who, even with Cris’s help, struggled with each move she attempted.
Realizing that Leah wanted time to walk down alone with Freman, Anna quietly proceeded down the slope. While her distance from the couple was great, the breeze carried their voices, and she could not help but overhear their discussion as they slowly meandered down the hill behind her, obviously not in any hurry to reach the bottom.
“She’s good-natured in many ways, that Mary,” Leah said, the intonation of her voice indicating that there was more to her statement than a compliment. “Her self-regard, however, does vex me at times.” She sighed. “How we so often wish that Anna had accepted Cris’s offer! She’s much more suitable to our family.”
Freman seemed taken aback. “Anna refused him? When did this happen?”
“Oh, I’m not quite certain. Mayhaps a year before he married Anna.” Leah laughed nervously, clearly put off by his interest in Anna. “Maem and Daed were disappointed. Maem blames that Lydia Rothberger. She has such a hold over the family and apparently felt that Cris didn’t suit, being that he’s not as principled as Anna.” Another laugh. “She is rather well-tempered and irreproachable in nature.”
Freman hesitated before he said a soft, “Indeed.”
Anna heard no more.
At the bottom of the hill, just a quarter mile from the farm, Cris and Mary stood beside an open-top buggy, conversing with the occupants who, in the dim gray of evening, Anna could not quite identify. As she approached, however, she heard a joyful Sara Coblentz call out her name.
“Such a refreshing night,” Sara said as she reached down to take Anna’s hand in greeting. Her eyes flickered over the group’s heads. “Why, there’s my own bruder! What are all of you young people doing?”
Anna did not respond, presuming the question was intended for Hannah or Leah, who approached them from the meadow beneath the hill with Freman following just a few paces behind.
With her mood much improved, Mary took it upon herself to answer. “We went walking to see the sunset over the hill.”
Sara nodded her head, and with a half-turn toward her husband, said, “We saw the gorgeous colors in the sky, didn’t we, George?”
“Ja, sure did.”
Freman approached the side of the buggy, glancing at Anna as he passed her. The look could have gone unnoticed but for what happened next. He leaned over and mumbled something to his sister before asking George about his family. No sooner had George finished catching everyone up-to-date with his ailing sister than Sara moved over in the buggy and patted the seat next to her.
“Kum, Anna,” she said. “You look peaked. Come ride with us.”
The request startled Anna. While she was fatigued, especially since she had been up early that morning, she felt discomfort with the attention. “Nee, it’s just a half-mile, but danke.”
“I insist,” Sara said, a smile on her face as she, once again, touched the empty space beside her.
To Anna’s surprise, Freman reached for her arm, his touch sending a shiver throughout her body. If the close proximity in which he stood to her didn’t unsettle her, the physical contact with him did. He guided her toward the carriage. Speechless, Anna followed. Truly, she had no choice. Wordlessly, he placed his hand out, gesturing toward the buggy, quietly insisting that she oblige Sara’s request.
Stunned, Anna stared at him as she settled into the carriage. His perception that she had been tired from the walk and his resolution to tend to her needs left her wordless. How was it possible that, despite his apparent resentment and disdain on account of the pain she caused him so long ago, he still remained sensitive to her unspoken needs?
She stared at him as George clicked his tongue for the horse to start trotting down the remainder of the lane toward the farm. He, however, did not look after her, for he had already returned his attention to Leah and Hannah. No one seemed to think twice of Freman’s gesture; however, Anna knew that it spoke of a remaining sentiment that, while lost to another now, still indicated a degree of unstated friendship and spoke highly of his fine character.
“I do believe,” Sara said to her husband, obviously unaware of Anna’s thoughts, “that we shall have a wedding soon, ja?”
“You women! Always trying to guess what’s on a man’s mind.” George laughed at the expression on his wife’s face. “It’s a wonder anything is left to privacy at all!”
“George!”
Sobering, he reached over and covered her hand with his, the teasing clearly over. “Although I do admit that he does seem intent to call on one of those Musser girls.”
Unable to mask her dismay, Anna stared straight ahead at the house as the buggy approached it. While Freman’s interest in the two sisters, particularly Leah, was more than apparent to her, Anna couldn’t help but feel a tightness in her chest when George spoke his opinion. Those words! So direct and candid. A truth spoken was more bitter than a truth suspected.