by Mercy B
With her hands in place she began to push him in his chest as hard as she could. Understanding that she had anger that needed to be released Rah allowed her force to move him. Again Bella pushed him. Then again until he was up against the wall.
“How can you do this!? He has a real chance to come back to us if you would just give him time. Why won’t you give him time?” His lips remained sealed as he stared intensely into the eyes of the woman he loved with all of him. Gazing into Bella’s swollen, red eyes did something to him. He hadn’t been prepared to peer within the depths of her being to find that she blamed him. “Why!” she yelled at the top of her lungs.
Rah shook his head and attempted to walk away from her. He was on the brink of a nasty lashing if he didn’t get far away. It’d been hard because he was already blaming himself, but to see that same blame projecting from Bella’s soul was just too much. He needed time to process. He needed space.
Unfortunately, Bella wasn’t in the mood to give that to him. What she needed was for him to answer her. Unable to bear the thought of Rafeeq really being gone Bella had to focus her energy on someone else. Rahmeek’s actions of marching down there and unplugging Rafeeq from everything that the well-paid doctors hooked him up to ensure he was given his best chance possible made him her target. He wasn’t going to escape easily if at all.
Bella hopped in front of him, “He’s your son too. Why are you doing this to him?” Rahmeek’s body trembled softly as he attempted again to bypass Bella, escape the room, and her persistent questioning; but she hopped in front of him blocking the exit.
“Bella, move.”
“No,” she shook her head side-to-side adamantly. “You need to answer me. Why do you want do it, huh? You don’t love him anymore? You want him to die? Is the guilt of what happened ripping you up inside? The sight of him laid here is too much for you? Huh? What is it that would make you take away his best chance!” She began to swing on him again not carrying where her punches landed as long as they somehow connected with him.
Bella’s taunting and fighting pushed Rahmeek over the edge as he grabbed her arms to hold her in place. “Of course I love him. I’m giving him his best chance. My son ain’t weak. He don’t need all this shit to keep him alive because he can do that on his own.” Bella froze in front of him looking like every bit of the sad woman that she’d become. “I love the fuck out of him baby but this shit is ripping me apart. I can’t live knowing my son is a vegetable. I hate saying this but either he’s going to come out of this or he’s not.”
With his last words Rahmeek backed away while running a hand down his face. He pulled his hand back to find that it had traces of moisture on them. Unbeknownst to him he’d cried the entire time he talked. Seeing the trail of tears falling from Rah’s eyes is what rendered Bella speechless. She knew it was silly to question Rahmeek’s love for their son because he showed it in every way possible. Even then when he left no choice but for Rafeeq to fight on his own. Bella didn’t want to admit it but she wouldn’t be able to handle seeing her son laid up in a hospital bed for the rest of her life.
Rahmeek’s way was absolutely terrifying. Rafeeq being hooked up to the machines was assurance that he was being helped and still with them. Without the sounds of the heart monitor and respirator it was deadly silent. That silence was what scared Bella most. She hated the silence. Wanted to be far away from it but knew she couldn’t be far away from her son. She had to be by his side when he woke up. She had to be.
Bella looked away from Rahmeek, ashamed of everything she accused him of, including the fact that she was blaming him for Rafeeq’s demise. He didn’t deserve it and she knew that. Taking her place back at Rafeeq’s side, she stared down at him while silently praying he found the strength to breathe on his own and come back because she still wanted it more than anything else.
Unable to keep his distance, Rahmeek closed the space between them to wrap his arms around Bella’s frame. She melted into him instantly and everything that’d been said before evaporated as if it never existed or happened. All that mattered now was their son and whether or not he was coming back from this with his life or not.
“Do it,” Bella instructed.
“Are you sure?” Unable to find her voice she simply nodded. Rahmeek knew how hard this would be on Bella so he instructed her, “Go stand on the other side of the room. You don’t need to see this.”
All the fight had long ago drained itself from her body so she gave no kickback. His heart was heavy as he reached forward to remove the tube from Rafeeq’s throat. Bella’s body slammed into the wall initiating her descent down to the floor. On her knees she released a blood curdling scream that shook Rahmeek to his core. He couldn’t even look at her. All he could do was look down at his son.
“You got this,” he whispered, barely able to see through the tears that’d snuck up on him desperate to release themselves. “You got this,” he said with more conviction as he did the deed. In the blink of an eye, it was done.
Chapter Four
“Uhhh,” a large amount of oxygen made its way into Rafeeq’s lungs as his lungs accepted everything his awakening gave him. His breaths had been low and short for the span of time after Rahmeek had made the choice to remove his son from the respirator.
It relieved both of his parents when he’d began to breathe on his own. Rahmeek more than Bella. He’d always believed that Rafeeq had a fighting chance, he just needed to be freed from his mother’s coddling. It was harsh but Rahmeek felt if his son needed a machine to breathe then he had to be too far gone. There was no way he was still alive in there. It hurt but he wouldn’t subject his son to a life where he was confined to bed simply because his people couldn’t let go. He deserved more and thankfully, it’d all worked out for the best. He began to breathe on his own and his father knew it was only a matter of time. The fact that he was able to breathe on his own was a good sign to Rahmeek. Even the doctors agreed that it’d become a waiting game.
Bella had been glued to Rafeeq’s side since he’d been left to breathe on his own. She refused to miss a second of anything. It was why she was present when her son took his first true inhale in what felt like forever. On her feet quickly, Bella rushed to his side.
She paused just short of his bed to place a hand over her mouth. “My baby,” she whispered with swollen eyes. It was a miracle that Bella was still able to cry. If it was for her children she had all the tears to give. She’d bore them. Made room in her body to allow them time to grow and bond with her. Bella spilled herself countless times for her children so for them she’d cry and she’d pray until her body was dry and her voice was hoarse. They could have it all if it meant that they would be okay.
“Ma,” Rafeeq attempted to say however it came out like a muffled breath. Unable to keep her distance any longer Bella rushed her son and wrapped him up in her arms. She pressed his forehead into her chest cavity as a sign for them both to know that the moment was real. It was truly happening. Her son was once again amongst the living. It wasn’t until she released him with another bout of happy tears that he tried to speak again. This time Bella rushed to grab him a glass of water.
Rafeeq never appreciated a cold glass of water as much as he did with the liquid sliding down his cotton mouth. He couldn’t tell how long he’d been out, he just knew that his body felt stiff. The feeling was an indication that it was longer than he felt it was. He took down the entire glass before his mother fetched him another that he emptied just as quickly. Bella chuckled like a little girl when Rafeeq belched loudly. On any other occasion she’d scolded him of it but now she couldn’t bring herself to complain after spending so much time unsure of his future.
Now that he was mildly replenished Rafeeq focused on his mother. He had questions and since she was the only other soul in the room it was bestowed upon her to answer them. “What happened?”
Bella looked on sadly taking a seat next to Rafeeq on the large bed. He’d had better get used to her smothering bec
ause she’d just spent days convinced that he was truly dead. She needed time to come to grips with the idea of him being okay after all. Taking his hand in hers she thought back to the day she thought she’d lost both men in her life. It sent chills down her spine.
“There was a shooting.”
Bella didn’t get the chance to respond more before Rahmeek appeared in the doorway. Upon laying hard, brown eyes on his son, everything about his posture deflated. Rahmeek knew of the two outcomes his adamancy about Rafeeq’s condition led to: either his death or his rebirth. There was no way to describe the way he felt other than relief that the latter had won out. He knew his son was strong. He knew he could make it out alive even when he didn’t know. It was just one of those situations where when you know, you know.
“Heavy,” his voice bounced around the room filling in the empty spaces in the corners that had not yet been drenched in the emotional tsunami that crashed to shore in the room the moment that Rafeeq began gasping for air. Rahmeek closed the distance between himself and where Rafeeq lay with Bella glued to his side. His chest swelled with pride at the sight of her. Just a few seconds in her presence and he could see the weight lifted from her shoulders. In a day’s time Rahmeek expected that Bella’s strength would return and he couldn’t wait.
He’d missed his woman dearly. Being unable to heal the scars on her heart had been a lot of him. He was just glad to know that she’d been restored. They all had. His family was whole once again. Rahmeek knew there was no way that he could let that moment pass him by. He had someone that he needed to talk to. Leaving Rafeeq and Bella where they were he made his way into the closet in to the room and sank down to his knees.
“What all do you remember?” Bella asked as she peeled her eyes away from the closet that Rahmeek had just disappeared inside to her son. She felt a little bad for him knowing the things that’d transpired moments before the shooting began. Before she told him everything she had to see where his mind and heart were. Betrayal was a nasty virus. Though he hadn’t been awake long she needed to gauge whether or not it’d made its way into her son’s blood stream.
“I remember…” Rafeeq’s raspy voice trailed off while he cast his eyes upward to the ceiling. He had no clue where his parents had him stashed but was confident that he was in their home. There was a sense of familiarity that filled his body. Nothing could convince him otherwise.
Thinking back on the shooting Bella mentioned he contemplated on the moments leading up, which caused him to place a hand to his throbbing forehead. He was holding back. Rafeeq could feel. Mentally he’d done something to protect himself and now he had no clue of what exactly unfolded before his painful introduction to a bullet. Even then he could feel the tightness of his skin where doctors had removed bullets and patched him up to speed up his recovery.
Bella could see the pain Rafeeq was in so she quickly put him at ease, “Just relax baby. You don’t need to worry yourself about the past right now. Let’s focus on the fact that you’re here.” She gripped his hand tighter. “How do you feel?”
He closed his eyes to assess the damage. Apart from the dehydration and soreness he felt fine. “I guess as good as to be expected.” Touching on his body he went to the places he knew for sure he’d been hit because there was thick gauze there covering up the damaged flesh. He still couldn’t believe that he’d been shot. No one in their right mind would come after him or his family, yet someone had. Rafeeq once again tried to piece it together, but he hit that brick wall again.
“Well, we have to get doctors in here to examine you to be sure you’re healing properly. If I could take away the pain, you know I would.”
“I know Mom.” Rafeeq leaned back until he’d wedged his banging head between the many pillows on the bed. With little thought he knew his mother was to thank for the accommodation. She always went out her way to make sure the people she loved were comfortable.
Inside the closet Rahmeek could hear muffled voices although he had no clue exactly what Rafeeq and Bella spoke of. His mind was focused on giving thanks, though he realized that he hadn’t done so in a very long time. Rahmeek lacked in the spiritual department because of the life he lived. With the dirt surrounding his grave he knew that when it was his time to go he didn’t need to think twice about where he was going. Knowing he was more than likely going to be cashing a first class ticket to hell, he still felt obligated to thank God. Rafeeq could’ve been dead and gone but he wasn’t. He was there, he was breathing, and in no time Rahmeek believed he’d be back to himself.
“Man, I don’t even really know how to do this shit but they always pray on their knees. In all honesty I think you need to let your disciples know it’s another way to do this shit because the only time I like to be on my knees is when I’m eating my woman’s pussy, just so you know.” Rahmeek chuckled at himself knowing he was failing miserably at the whole prayer fiasco. He was just stuck in his ways now that he was a grown man and though he appreciated the big man for looking out, he knew that he was too stuck in his ways. He could only give his best. In Rahmeek’s eyes that had to be worth something.
“My bad big G. You all knowing and shit so I know you’ve heard that before. Even when we ain’t right you be looking out for us gangstas; for that I’m grateful. I’ve lost too many niggas to the streets. Can’t expect anything less when you live by the gun. At the end of the day we all have one fate and that’s to die by it as well, but thank you for sparing my son. I’ve never been one to worry you about my problems, I’m sure you’ve noticed that, but damn, thank you for solving this one for me. It was the most important of them all and you looked out.” Rahmeek ran a hand down his face while he gathered his thoughts to bring his prayer to a closed. He was beginning to get uncomfortable in the miniature closet.
“I’m not gone hold you like I’ll be a saint after this because if nothing else I’m going to protect my family. I don’t need you to watch over me, but please keep your hands on my kids and my wife. They don’t deserve the same fate as me. That’s all I got. Peace.” Rahmeek ended his prayer with a shake of his head.
He couldn’t believe that he’d really got down on his knees to thank another for bringing his seed through, but he had and he would do it time and time again because his appreciation ran that deep. Because of his street affiliations, sometimes Rahmeek left his morals in the bottom of his subconscious. This just happened to be one of those rare moments where he couldn’t. He just hoped it meant something. He wasn’t perfect, but he still knew when to hand his mess over to God.
As he stood to his feet, he heard raised voices just on the other side of the door. Quick on his feet he was back in the open space in no time. He couldn’t hear what was being said because he was stuck on Bella trying to hold back their son. It was entertaining because he was twice her size even being a newly resurrected coma patient. Even at his weakest he seemed to be stronger than his mother who attempted to hold him back.
“What is going on?”
Bella flicked her eyes over to the right and Rahmeek understood immediately. His son had been down for a minute. With no idea how everything would turn out, his parents were forced to make decisions on his behalf.
Rafeeq felt his father’s presence so his head snapped in his direction. His voice hadn’t fully recovered so it was raspy when he questioned, “Why the fuck is she still breathing?”
Chapter Five
Rahmeek understood his son’s apprehension. Anyone who was a threat to his father was also a threat to him. Rafeeq had racked his brain until he had no other choice than to tear down that brick wall he’d built himself and remember what happened. Not knowing was eating him alive to the point that it was all he could think about whilst his mother clued him in on the happenings of his down time.
“That bitch,” he’d mumbled as the events right before the shooting flooded his body. In vivid detail, scene after scene flashed across his mind as if he were watching a movie. When he’d cursed it’d halted Bella’s rambling.
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“Who? What bitch?” she asked although she had a good idea of who he was referring to. It didn’t take rocket science to know that if he remembered everything he also remembered her part in it all.
Rafeeq made the mistake of looking to his right and all the color drained from his face. So focused on himself he hadn’t thought to check if he were the only patient his parents had housed in the room. She was there and seeing her face immediately made him go into protector mode with her as his target. He fought his hardest against Bella to get up from the bed. His body was still weak so his movements were drawn out. The farthest he’d made it was around to the opposite side to lean against the plush mattress.
Rahmeek had entered the room in perfect timing because Bella didn’t want to answer him. She backed away leaving the floor to her husband. It was his idea in to begin with. Only after he’d reminded Bella of recent developments did she agree that it was right.
Rahmeek looked over at Hampsher then back at his son. He could already see the confliction forming in his features. Just by his facial expression Rahmeek felt like he didn’t care to hear what he had to say. In his eyes she should’ve been dead and gone, which Rahmeek would’ve been on board with had the circumstances been slightly different. Since they weren’t, for the first time, he found himself explaining his choices to his son. Once he was finished Rahmeek was confident that Rafeeq would see things his way.
“Why is she still breathing? In this house right up under yall noses? I know you ain’t gone soft on me pops. I know that ain’t it so explain to me why this treacherous bitch is still breathing.”
Bella stepped forward with a frown. “There’s no need to disrespect her. She’s still the mother of your child. The woman you chose to bare your child. Show some respect.”
“Respect?” Rafeeq drew his head back as if his mother had said something truly outlandish. “She pulled a gun on your husband. Had the balls to pull the trigger, and you expect me to show her some respect?” He shook his head as she sat down on the bed determined to look at everything in the room except for the place she lay. “Nah, it’s not happening like that. She doesn’t deserve my respect. She’s a snake. There’s no place for her here.”