“That is all you have done to me, Tási,” I said as I held her gaze. “And I have very likely done the same to you in return.”
“Nothing has happened between us that I didn’t want to happen,” I finished with a gentle kiss on her lips. “I’m only sorry that it took someone else to make me realize how much I love you.”
Tási leaned into me, resting her head against my chest and I held her tight while she clung to me in return. Even though she wasn’t trying to feed her emotions into me, they still leaked through our bond, and I experienced not only her love, but also the jumble of happiness and her sense of reprieve as they churned inside her.
She needed no additional words from me; they were only shapeless, hollow things. So instead of offering her useless words, I searched deep within myself and gathered together all my feelings for her. I pulled my love, admiration, respect, desire, and so much more into the brightest orb I had ever made. When it was finished, I peeled away the bare traces of harshness that clung to the outside of the orb and channeled the brilliant ball of ethereal light slowly into Tási’s body.
Tási was still lying on me, clinging onto me almost desperately. With such close contact, the orb that I sent entered her easily, and instantly flooded her with every scintilla of my profound feelings for her. In response to its presence, I felt Tási’s body relax as the tension that had been seizing her muscles finally released her from its grip. Her own emotions came to me even more intensely through the link that the orb created between us, and we shared them openly and freely for a long while, until there was nothing left for us to reveal to each other.
The orb had served its purpose, so I released my hold on it and it slowly dissolved into nothingness as it trailed its way back to me. When the last traces of the orb finally dissipated, I turned my head to look at Tási and found her eyes staring back at me.
“I have shown you everything,” I whispered to her softly. “You have no reason to doubt that what I feel for you is real. No matter how we think of things or what terms we use, I am yours, and you are mine.”
Tási smiled and tilted her head up to give me a soft kiss before she settled down to lie against me again. I wrapped my arms around her in turn, and we fell asleep together a short while later.
Tási was gone when I woke up, and I figured that she was probably downstairs making breakfast like she usually did when she got up early. So, I slipped into Melía’s Armor and threw the Quiver on my back before I headed downstairs in anticipation of a good meal. But when I entered the common room, there were no smells of cooking in the air, there was only a platter of cold biscuits sitting on the table between Tási and Venna. Broda was nowhere to be seen, and the two women immediately stopped their conversation as soon as I entered the room.
“What’s going on?” I asked with obvious suspicion in my voice.
“We were just settling a few things,” Tási replied with a smirk that Stel would have been proud of.
“I told you that I would speak to Tási about borrowing you,” Venna added with her own conspiratorial smile. “We have just finished that conversation.”
“And?” I prompted when neither chose to elaborate.
“While Stel is away, you can visit Venna anytime you chose to help her sleep,” Tási informed me. “But you cannot stay the night. Not while I’m here under the same roof.”
“For my part, I promised not to abuse the trust that Tási has placed in me,” Venna added. “If I’m doing well, and I don’t really need you, I’m going to send you back to her.”
“As for any other… interactions you choose to have,” Tási continued tactfully. “They will be discreet. I don’t want to know about them, and I certainly don’t want to hear about them. Do you understand what I mean?”
“Yes, I do,” I replied numbly as I sat down beside her.
It was all a bit surreal to me—my relationship with the two of them had always been a very casual and informal affair, but with the previous night’s acknowledgement of just how serious things had become between Tási and me, the balance of that equation had suddenly shifted. Although Tási accepted that Venna was a part of my life, she was setting strict parameters around us. Part of me chafed at the restrictions, but deep inside, I knew that she was right. Our relationship had crossed into new territory, and I needed to take her feelings into account more than I ever had before.
“I will come see you each night while Stel is away,” I said as I turned to Venna. “If you need me, I’ll stay with you until you’re better, or I can put you to sleep.”
“Outside of that,” I said as I took Tási’s hand in mine and gazed into her eyes, “I will be considerate of your feelings in all my interactions.”
Tási nodded slowly and smiled back at me as I told her what she needed to hear. Then, she added something that took me completely by surprise.
“I know you,” she said softly as she stared deep into my eyes. “Better than you know yourself in some ways. Venna will not be the only one. There will be others that are drawn to you. I have known this for some time now, and it hasn’t been easy, but I think that I’ve finally come to terms with the fact that you will never be mine completely.”
“You cannot prevent this from happening, Dreya,” Tási held up her hand when I tried to object. “Nothing you can do will stop the people you need, or who need you, from seeking you out. And you will come to love some of them in return. All I ask is that you honor what we have by being discreet. I know that I cannot have you for myself, but at least let me have the illusion.”
I didn’t know how to respond to what Tási said. Her words shook me, yet not only did I feel her conviction, but I also felt the truth of them as well. Just like the night before when Venna had confronted me with a truth I hadn’t recognized, Tási’s declaration stunned me, but once I heard it, I couldn’t deny it either.
“How?” I uttered in confusion. “How could you possibly know this?”
“I don’t know,” Tási still managed to smile at me. “I think that it came to me when you… woke my water spirit.”
I glanced at Venna when Tási hesitated, and she was simply staring at us open-mouthed, clearly as taken aback by Tási’s revelations as I was. But it was Venna’s mere presence that had caused Tási to fumble her words, to say something different than what she truly meant. But her deceptive words were only intended to mislead Venna, not me, and I knew what she was really telling me. It had been the bond that I had forged with her water spirit that had given her this insight. And knowing just how strong and true that bond was, I couldn’t doubt her intuition.
“I’m sorry,” was all I could say to the two of them. “I never intended any of this. At least not this way. Both of you deserve better than this.”
“You think I would trade even half of you for anyone else?” Tási rebuked me harshly. “Listen to me. I’m not settling for you. This is not a compromise. You are mine. I’m just accepting the fact that you need other people in your life, and more importantly, they will need you in theirs.”
“What I sensed from you is not the need to merely romp from bed to bed, Dreya,” Tási continued. “The people who come to you will need you. They will need your love, your comfort, or something else greater than a simple physical connection. Your relationships will not be tawdry flings or affairs—there will be substance and meaning to them, whether you are aware of it or not. I am willing to accept this because I understand how important you will be to them. I’m not settling for something less, Dreya, I’m accepting you for who you are.”
I was glad that I was sitting down when Tási made her second revelation; otherwise, the floor might have been my resting place for a while. But again, despite my reluctance to accept the information, once she had spoken the words, I couldn’t deny the truth that they held.
“She’s right,” Venna uttered in a stunned whisper. “I never made the connection before, but it’s so clear to me now. When I almost failed my quest, you saved me. My faith was flagging, a
nd you restored it. Your friendship brought a sense of joy and purpose to my life that was missing, and when we finally…” Venna hesitated and glanced at Tási before she continued, “became physical, it made me feel different. Like something that had been missing was suddenly returned to me and I was finally whole again.”
I nodded as Venna spoke and I heard the conviction in her voice. I hadn’t realized just how much our relationship had affected her, and when she told me, I was simply overwhelmed by it.
“This is what I mean, Dreya,” Tási smiled at me. “You will change people’s lives. Turn them around and fix what is broken inside them. For most, they will only need your friendship, or even just to get to know you. Your influence is that strong. But there will be others, those who are in more dire need, who will require more from you—a more profound connection. You will heal them, Dreya, as you have healed my friend, Venna.”
“I need some time to think about this,” I finally muttered after a while. “It’s all just too much. I’m going upstairs, can you please make my rounds for me today, so I can have some time alone?”
“I understand,” Tási said as she rose from her chair. “Venna and I will see to everything for you. We can use the time together, since there is still a great deal left for us to discuss.”
It didn’t seem that Venna knew there was anything left to discuss between them, because when Tási took her by the hand and led her outside, Venna’s face was a mask of confusion. But with the two of them gone, and the house to myself, I wandered upstairs to lay on my bed and consider all that Tási had said. Or, at least that was my intention. Unfortunately, when I entered my room, the bed was already occupied.
“Hello again,” Nentai greeted me with a smile as she stood up. “I was watching you. That was some conversation you just had.”
I wasn’t in the mood for her taunting, nor was I in the mood to care that she was a Goddess.
“You know,” I replied, letting my irritation show, “if you don’t have anything helpful to say, I’d rather you leave me alone for a while.”
“But I do have something helpful to say to you, Dreya,” she soothed as she sat back down on the bed and patted the mattress next to her, indicating for me to join her. “Come, sit down, and I will explain.”
I cautiously sat beside her and I was shocked when she took my hand in hers as she began to speak to me.
“Tási was right–there will be others,” Nentai confirmed gently. “But this is no random thing, and there is a reason why it will be this way for you.
“You came into existence through the magic of the Great Barrier. You know this already, but what you may not realize is that it was us, the Gods, working together who created that magic, who infused it with our essence. We formed the Barrier to protect our world from harm, and that desire was also infused within the Barrier’s magic. So, when the Barrier made you, it imparted that same protective nature into you, and gave you the means to protect the people who have been so mistreated and abused here. You are attuned to them, to their needs, and some of them will seek you out so that you can heal them, just as Tási told you.”
“I cannot see the future, Dreya. That skill is denied to me. But I can follow the patterns of life and make a very educated prediction for you. You will not be inundated with desperate lovers. There will only be a very few that truly enter your heart. Your affairs will be for love, not desire, and you will benefit from them as much as your partners do. You need not feel guilty for what you will do. What happens will be for everyone’s benefit, even Tási’s, though she may not realize it.”
I had so many questions, but most of them boiled down to one simple thing.
“Why?” I asked. “Why are you telling me this? Why do you seem to care so much? Why are you so familiar with me?”
“I would very much like to answer those questions for you Dreya, but Uthalan has forbidden any of us to discuss those issues with you, at least for now,” Nentai replied with obvious reluctance.
“What I can tell you is that I don’t want to see you suffer or torture yourself needlessly,” she continued as she placed her other hand on top of mine. “Your path is difficult, but it is also full of love, if you are willing to accept it. As long as you follow your instincts and stay true to your heart, you can find happiness. You need never feel guilty or ashamed for the love you will share. Yours is a gift, Dreya—a gift that will make an incredible difference in the lives of those you choose to share it with.”
There was so much for me to consider in her words, and I knew I would need some time to do that. I also sensed that she had told me all that she could, or was allowed to, and possibly had already told me more than she was supposed to, so I quickly changed the subject to the one other burning question I had for her before she could vanish on me again.
“What do you know about Bane?”
“Much,” Nentai smiled back at me. “But nothing that I’m going to tell you. You know what you did to him, and I will let you discover the… consequences for yourself. Just know that you have not harmed him, as with the others that you share your love with, he will only benefit from what you have given him.”
Nentai released my hand as she rose from the bed and pulled the Quiver from my back. She rested the Artifact against the wall before turning back to me again.
“You’ve had a very rough time, and I want you to rest now,” she said in an almost maternal manner. “I have to go now, but before I do, I want you to lay down so that I can put your mind at ease for a while.”
She gently guided me down and placed a pillow beneath my head, and even pulled the covers up around me. I was in a state of awe at how tenderly the Goddess was caring for me, and then she surprised me again when she began to softly stroke my temple with her fingers.
“Let the thoughts go, little one,” she whispered to me. “Sleep now, and when you wake, you will find peace.”
I felt her fingers brushing against the side of my head, and as they did, the troubles in my mind seemed to fade away and vanish into a soft mist. The billowing clouds then flowed over me as well, and I fell into a deep, restful sleep.
“Sleep well, my daughter,” Nentai said as she stood up and took in the form of the woman sleeping soundly in the bed. “It won’t be long before I can claim you as my own, and once I do, I won’t let anyone come between us.”
14
When I woke up, Nentai was gone, and my clouds of doubt and confusion had vanished as well. I understood everything clearly, and all my uncertainty was washed away. It was as if I had spent the entire time I was asleep hashing out the conflicts in my unconscious mind.
I knew that whoever might come into my life would be important to me, and I would be important to them as well. I was at peace with that. Knowing that the relationships I was destined to have would be meaningful, and not just empty affairs, provided me with some comfort, and Nentai’s reassurance that those affairs would be few in number also served to temper my unease as well. I wasn’t sure that I would have been able to accept it otherwise.
Her words about Bane, although cryptic, were also comforting. Even though she had given me nothing specific, at least she let me know that he would come to no harm. That was good enough for me. I slipped out of bed feeling more refreshed then I had in a long while, and after I placed the Quiver on my back, I ventured downstairs to see if anyone else had returned home.
It was far later than I had thought, and all three of my companions had returned from their various errands. The three women sat around the table, enjoying some ale while discussing the events of the day.
“Well, look who’s decided to join us,” Broda teased as I walked into the common room and sat down beside Tási. “Miss sleepy-head finally woke up.”
I smiled at her prodding and poured myself a mug of ale before I asked them how their day went.
“Fine by me,” Broda offered first. “The mines are producing well, and both of them are looking to open some new shafts once they get finished carving ou
t the homes in the upper caverns.”
“All the other projects are moving along well too,” Venna added helpfully. “You didn’t miss anything important today.”
I was thankful for that, but it wasn’t unexpected. Everyone knew what they were doing by then, and real difficulties were becoming few and far between. In fact, most of my duties merely involved passing messages back and forth and deciding the priorities of the various projects. I was confident that Venna and Tási would have handled any of that for me in my absence.
We talked for a few hours and Venna cooked dinner for us as the evening turned late. After cleaning up, we shared another round of ale before heading off to bed.
“I’ll be up in a minute,” I said to Tási as she started up the stairs. “I just need to have a word with Venna.”
She flashed me a knowing smile, thinking that I was trying to be coy as she walked away up the stairs. I let her go without bothering to correct her; she would find out soon enough.
I didn’t even bother knocking on Venna’s door, I just walked in and sat down on her bed as she was getting changed. She raised her eyebrows and looked at me questioningly, but I just waved for her to finish getting ready for bed. She was as alluring as ever, and I didn’t mind watching as she changed into her night dress. Venna didn’t seem too concerned either, and I couldn’t help but smile when she stopped to pose for me for just a second before slipping into her sleeping outfit.
“I remember the first time you did that,” I recalled fondly as she sat beside me.
“So do I,” Venna replied curiously. “Is that why you’re here?”
“Not this time,” I said as I brushed a stray lock of hair from her face. “I hope you’ll forgive me, but I need to be with Tási tonight. We have a lot to discuss, and I just wanted to let you know so you don’t think I forgot about you.”
Second Skin: Unified: A litRPG Adventure (Second Skin Book 3) Page 33