I knew that this was how things were going to be between us, and part of me was startled by what I was about to do. Well, not what I was going to do, only that I’d decided to do it so soon, before I was really ready to truly embrace Líann and all that would come with her. But my desire to dominate her was becoming too strong, and I needed what she was offering me; the ability to vent, to assert my dark side without harming anyone. She was my foil, the one I could count on to absorb my shadows and help me keep them under control, and I simply had to have her.
I squeezed Líann’s narrow waist and ran my other hand along the opposite side of her body until my palm cupped her small, firm breast. She quivered against me and I pressed into her even harder, glaring into her eyes with my glowing green irises as I sent the first thin tendrils of desire into her.
Líann gasped loudly as I sent my threads of passion into her, and I let them run wild inside her while my hands ran over the flawless skin of her body. When her thin dress got in the way of my explorations, I gripped the front of it with both hands and tore it away from her body. The unexpected display of strength and abandon stirred something in her, and I felt her body begin to shudder in release as I pressed myself against her tightly.
Instead of flowing into her gently, I pushed the power of my tendrils to her, and she cried out as the force of my passion drove her beyond her limits. I showed her no restraint and poured even more of myself into her and she quivered almost helplessly, remaining upright against the wall only because I held her pinned against it. Despite the overwhelming energy I funneled into her release, I could feel her reveling in my power as I continued to channel even more of it into her. I was giving her far too much, making her release into a game for my own enjoyment, but for Líann, that was exactly what she craved.
When I finally let it end, Líann slid down to the floor as soon as I backed away from her, and she continued quivering as I picked her up and laid her down in her bed. During our entire encounter, I’d held Líann firmly pinned in place, and although my hands had wandered across her entire body, it was only when I laid her down on the soft mattress that I finally took in just how truly incredible she was.
Líann lay almost still, and with her robe spread open and the tattered remains of her nightdress lying somewhere behind me on the floor, every subtle arc and curve of her lay bare before me. She was thin, but with undeniably graceful curves, and the perfect circles of her small breasts slowly rose and fell with every tantalizing breath she took. Her pale skin glistened slightly in the morning light that filtered in through the sheer curtains, and I couldn’t help but let my fingers trace along the contours of her body as I sat down beside her.
“I didn’t plan on doing that, Líann,” I spoke to her softly, unsure if she was even awake. “But now that I have, I don’t regret it one bit.”
“I don’t either,” she whispered back as her eyes opened just a crack.
“Líann,” I hesitated. “Despite what happened, I meant what I said—I won’t call this a mistake. I wouldn’t lie to you like that, but I’m not ready to truly commit to you just yet either.”
“I know,” she smiled back at me. “I could feel that much from you. You will come for me soon enough, and until then, you’ll use me as you will. It’s what we both need—I know that now. All my doubts are gone, Empress. You’ve given me far more than you intended. You’ve given me the peace of knowing that what I want will truly come to pass.”
Líann seemed to always be able to surprise me somehow. Whether it was her insights, her willingness to change, or even her maddening ability to outmaneuver me, the woman constantly impressed me with just how capable she was. There was much more we could have said to each other, but I’d clearly exhausted her, so I reluctantly covered her in blankets, tucked her in, and kissed her gently on the cheek before she fell into a deep sleep.
I closed the door softly behind me as I left Líann’s bedroom, and Thelmé was there almost immediately as I did so.
“Leave her alone, Thelmé,” I stopped her as she seemed ready to tend to her Queen. “She’s a bit under the weather and asked me to tell you to let her rest for a while.”
“Is there anything I should fetch for her?” Thelmé asked in concern.
“No. I’ve actually seen to her needs,” I replied quite honestly. “All she requires is to be left alone now. Don’t disturb her until she comes out herself or calls for you. Am I clear?”
“Yes, Empress,” Thelmé responded with a deep bow of her head.
Once I left Líann’s rooms behind, I headed for Stel’s offices to make him aware of the incredible sum of money we would be receiving from Olóra. As Finance Minister, he needed to be the next to know of the windfall Líann had negotiated for us.
As I sat across from Stel and told him the news, I thought the disclosure would catch him by surprise, but Líann had beaten me to it.
“Yes, the Queen informed me of this development by letter last night,” Stel replied, thoroughly unfazed by what I’d told him. “She thought it wise to let me know so that I might begin making the appropriate arrangements for receiving such a large sum but did ask me to let her inform you herself of what she’d negotiated.”
“You know,” Stel mused. “You might want to try and keep her around as long as possible. She’s quite accomplished and has proven herself to be a great asset. Considering how much more pleasant she’s become, you might even want to become friends with her.”
“I’ll consider doing just that,” I replied in amusement.
I couldn’t hide the smile on my face as I marched back upstairs. Not only had Stel’s ironic suggestion amused me to no end, but I was beginning to truly feel at ease with my personal situation. A thought started to occur to me but was interrupted as we reached the barracks level that was just below my residence, and I heard a cacophony of shouts erupting from inside. When I remembered that Tási was supposed to be introducing Saibra as the newest member of my guards, I feared for the worst and rushed inside to try and quell the dissention and pick up the broken pieces of my guards.
My worst fears seemed to have been confirmed when I was greeted by the sight of Saibra, with blades in hand, surrounded by almost the entirety of my personal guard. I was about to start casting Bolt to break up the fray, when Ella spoke to me quite casually.
“She’s pretty amazing with those,” she commented without a hint of concern.
Her words made me reevaluate the scene around me, and I finally noticed that the blades in Saibra’s hands were the dulled weapons reserved for practice. The tone of the shouting around me resolved into competing chants, encouraging the group of guards who were sparring against Saibra, and surprisingly, not a small number that were urging the reformed assassin on as well.
What I had taken for a brawl was actually a competition, and Saibra’s broad grin, and the obvious reluctance of the guards facing off against her, told me exactly who was winning that contest.
“I never thought she’d be… embraced so easily,” I commented in shock.
“Are you fu… kidding me?” Tana reined in her enthusiasm from beside me. “She killed me before I could even draw my blade. Once Tási told us you’d let her hold a dagger to your neck, and what she did with Gilfri, no one had any doubts about her. I for one am definitely happy to have her on our side now.”
I turned my attention back to the sparring only to find that Saibra had scored hits on two of the guards in the short time my attention had been diverted. I watched in amazement as she feigned an attack at one of the remaining four and then spun around to strike two of them who had sought to take advantage of the false opening she’d created to entice them in. With only a pair left against her, it wasn’t even a fair fight anymore, and with a series of flashing whirls of her blades, she cut them both down in just a few short seconds.
“Ella,” I turned to her without even attempting to conceal my awe. “You’d better make good use of her or I swear I’m going to give her your job.”
“I wouldn’t blame you,” Ella laughed. “Saibra’s not only going to be part of your detail most days, but I also intend to put her in charge of training the rest of us, myself included. I dare say that her blade skills are beyond even those of the First Marshal. We can all learn quite a bit from her.”
“Tási told me that you promised to make her one of your guards, and in light of her abilities, I intend to assign her the rank of lieutenant, unless you object.”
That promotion would jump Saibra over a rather large number of my guards who had been serving me faithfully for quite some time, but Saibra’s capabilities more than warranted the rank Ella was offering, and I agreed with her intentions wholeheartedly.
“Do it,” I replied without hesitation. “And let me know when these training sessions are scheduled. I’m certain I could learn a thing or two from your newest lieutenant as well.”
“I’ll make sure to let you know. It might be fun to see you get your… head handed to you for a change,” Ella taunted me just a little.
I gave her a nasty look as I departed, but Ella only laughed it off, knowing that my irritation with her was feigned. On my way up the final flight of stairs, I tried to recapture the thoughts that had been forming in my mind when the shouts from the barracks broke my concentration, but the moment of clarity that had been coming together for me had been lost. In frustration, I retired to my rooms and lay down to try and clear my mind.
What I’d been thinking of at the time was how increasingly comfortable I was becoming with the very non-traditional arrangement of my personal life. While I preached tolerance, monogamy was still a hallmark of nearly all societies, and I had always intended to follow that example myself. But I simply couldn’t deny the fact that my needs transcended that model. Since becoming a Sintári, several of my emotional facets seemed to become more intense than the others and required the specific attentions of each of my lovers. Such relationships were simply not normal for the humans of this world, but I was finding myself less and less concerned with that fact.
But… I wasn’t human anymore, I realized as the clarity that had been eluding me suddenly came into crystal clear focus. I was Sintári, one of the ‘true feeling,’ as Venna had described them to me long ago. The Sintári, my people, didn’t conform to any of the norms of the other races. We probably couldn’t if we wanted to. Our emotions, our connections to the world around us, were far too strong for any one partner to absorb. Tási could no more tolerate my need to release a portion of my rage than Líann could handle the relentless flow of passion that Tási was able to let me display. Each of my partners allowed me to express a different emotional side of myself. Tási was clearly my passion, while Líann was my fury; Venna was my soul and let me explore my softer side, while tending to Ella and her more simple needs kept me grounded.
This new understanding of just who I was hit me almost as hard as my initial self-realization. There was no need for me to feel guilty about sharing my love, that was exactly how things were meant to be for me. I had only denied it, and denied myself, because I had considered my needs abnormal when I judged my actions against other people. But that standard simply didn’t apply to me—I was Sintári, one of the true-feeling, and my needs were different and completely normal among my people. My connection to this world was more powerful than anything a typical person would experience, and through it, I’d called my lovers to me, fulfilling my needs as well as their own.
My relationships were no one-way streets either. I gave at least as much as I received to each of them, and in that exchange, they completed me. Without Tási helping me express my passion, or Líann letting me vent my darkness, I wouldn’t be whole. While those two helped me with my most powerful emotions, Venna tended to my soul and Ella made sure I never lost sight of where I’d come from. Those were the bonds that made me complete and turned me into a full Sintári.
Ding!
With all the thoughts that had just come to me, I didn’t have any doubts about what that alert related to, and I immediately opened the prompt.
Sintári Quest, Control, Advancing — You have come to understand and accept a fundamental truth about your Sintári nature. You no longer belong to any of the mortal races of the world; you are something more and require more than they do to sustain yourself. This fact was both well-known and accepted when your people were still common in these lands, but it will be up to you to decide how widespread you wish to make this knowledge now. I would have told you myself, Dreya, but some things need to be discovered to be truly understood. For uncovering this profound truth, you have been rewarded with 11,000 XP and a one-time bonus of 5% to your Control ability.
I had no doubt just who added that last bit to my notification. Nentai had told me that my love was a gift, and that I shouldn’t feel guilty about sharing it. Clearly the Goddess had known quite a bit more than that, but I didn’t resent her holding back on me in the slightest. She was right, I needed to come to the realization on my own. Her mere words would not have had the same profound effect on me as my own epiphany had. I was finally and truly at peace with myself. Even Líann’s intense desires ceased to bother me, as I recognized that her cravings were only a mirror-image of my own needs. While I wanted to take some time to absorb all that had occurred to me first, I knew that I would be paying Líann another surprise visit very, very soon.
Because I was already pushing so hard on so many fronts, I decided, at least for the time being, to keep my relationships secret. I no longer felt any sense of guilt, but in deference to Tási’s feelings, and because I felt it best to wait a while before breaking any more barriers, I would maintain the illusion for the time being.
That meant I needed to set up some pretense for meeting with Líann on a regular basis. Something that wouldn’t raise eyebrows or cause Tási any discomfort. I hit on an idea almost immediately and left to see Talína to help me make it happen.
“Talína,” I said as I sat down at her desk. “I need you to draft a reply to Líann for me. You are to inform her that I found our meeting this morning satisfactory, but that I see much room for improvement in our relations. To that end, you will schedule us to meet once a week for breakfast just as we did today. I want you to make it clear to her that this is not optional, she will host me, and I expect her to be accommodating.”
“Those are rather blunt terms, Empress,” Talína noted with a great deal of reservation. “Are you sure you don’t want me to soften the tone of them for you just a bit?”
“No,” I replied. “Líann will understand my meaning. Just ensure that it is marked so that she’s the one who opens it.”
“As you wish, Empress,” Talína simply acknowledged.
“Oh, and would you send someone to get Tási for me?” I remarked as I left. “There are a few things I need to go over with her.”
After I had a late lunch, Tási returned to our quarters just as I was relaxing in Bane’s room, laying alone on his cushion in his absence. She sat down alongside me and rested her head on my shoulder before asking why I’d summoned her.
“You did well by introducing Saibra to the guards,” I began. “Ella already seems to have a good plan for her, but I need one more thing from you.”
“Sure. What is it?” She replied.
“I need Bane to dispose of as many kills as possible for us,” I informed her. “Just like we did with Gilfri’s body. Any spy, assassin, or other person we slay must be given over to Bane. That applies especially to anyone Saibra might kill. The lives she takes are dedicated to me now, I need Bane to tend to their corpses for me.”
“I can see to that,” Tási replied without questioning my intentions. “Although I may need your help letting him know when we have something for him”
“Of course,” I responded.
I had intended to try and discuss what I’d discovered about myself with her, but as she lay there with me quietly, I lost my nerve. Although Tási was aware of the others and had accepted that they were part of my l
ife, she was still quite jealous, and never wanted to know anything about what transpired between me and them. Even bringing up what I’d found out in the context of what it meant for me might easily cause her pain, so at the last minute, I decided it would be better to simply keep things to myself.
“Whatever it is, go ahead and tell me,” Tási suddenly said with a resigned sigh. “I can feel you fidgeting around, so don’t even deny it.”
I hadn’t realized that I’d been doing that, and the fact that Tási knew me well enough to recognize my nervous habit for what it was made me feel even worse for underestimating her. So, after a deep sigh of my own, I told her what had happened.
“I had another notification,” I began cautiously. “One that affects you, in a way.”
With that said, I read the message to her, leaving out the special note Nentai had left in it for me. I then explained to her the thoughts I’d had before receiving the notification, and how I’d come to terms with who I really was.
“So, I’m simply insufficient for you?” Tási said without lifting her head to look at me. “Is that what you’re telling me?”
I was crushed by the way she’d interpreted what I’d told her, and I quickly replied to try and sooth the pain I’d caused.
“No, Tási, that’s not it at all,” I responded as I stroked her hair. “The point is that you’re perfect for me.”
“Then why do you need them?” She asked bitterly. “Why can’t you get everything you need from me?”
“In many ways, I do get everything I need from you, Tási,” I replied to her softly. “But I’m a Sintári. No single person is capable of what you ask.”
“You never tried,” she snapped at me. “You never even tried to see if I could do what Venna, Ella, or Líann supposedly does for you.”
“Do you want me to?” I said as I rose from Bane’s cushions and stood over her, taking up the challenge. “Are you ready to feel my rage? To take on the fury inside me? Come with me right now if you are, and I will show you the depths of my darkness.”
Second Skin: Unified: A litRPG Adventure (Second Skin Book 3) Page 75