“Are you fucking kidding me? Where the hell is this coming from?”
Jaeg snorts, and Tyler hands over a fiver. “That’s what I thought,” Jaeg mumbles.
They’re placing bets on me now? Insensitive assholes. “I’m not interested,” I growl.
Jaeg balls a cloth and throws it on my table. “Before Hayden, you would have been interested in going out with someone new after a breakup.” He paces closer and shakes his head. “You’ve turned your back on Hayden. Didn’t think you’d do it. With the others—oh, every time. But not Hayden.” Jaeg turns and stalks out of the workroom.
I stare after him. “What’s his problem?”
Tyler shakes his head slowly, as if he can’t believe me either. He leaves the same way.
I set the paint down and stare at the birdhouse I’m building. I can’t look at myself in the mirror. Now my friends can’t look at me either?
Moving to a new location isn’t the solution, because I’ll still have to live with myself. I’m no longer sure of the conclusions I drew about Hayden. I was vulnerable, scared—though I don’t like to admit it. I freaked the fuck out and made a rash accusation.
Time to man up.
Hayden
I haven’t spoken to Adam since I went to his house. He hasn’t called, and I’ve stopped calling him. I’ve wanted to, but I said everything there was to say, and if he hasn’t changed his mind after that, he won’t.
I told him I loved him. And he let me walk out the door. I’m beyond sad. I’m numb.
I thought… I don’t know what I thought. That he’d come around? That he’d forgive me. But had I forgiven him? I was so hard on him about Bliss, and the whole time, he was just as unhappy with what was going on as I. He even sought help and put a stop to what Blackwell was doing. Adam did that, not me.
I put all of my energy these last few months into investigating Blackwell after I realized he’d hired me for the casino’s image, and after I learned what had happened to my friends. I wasn’t letting Blackwell and the others get away with that, oh no. I had to fight for the underdog.
What the hell was I thinking?
I was single-minded, stubborn—whatever you want to call it. And now I wish I could take it all back, because I lost Adam. And nothing in this world is worth that.
Adam is a total stubborn ass, but he is a good man. The best.
Tears well up behind my eyes and I growl. “Dammit.” I set aside my laptop and walk into the kitchen, reaching for a tissue. A shadow on the back patio catches my eye.
“What the hell?” I swipe my cheeks and toss the tissue in the trash, my heart thundering in my chest. There’s someone out there…
I reach for a knife in one of the drawers—then slowly set it back down. Wait a minute. I know the back of that head, the shape of those shoulders.
Striding to the back door, I swing it open and gape at Adam. His arm is raised and he has a hammer in his hand. “I get that you’re mad at me, but don’t you dare make a hole in my wall.”
He cuts me a challenging look, cocks the hammer back, and slams it home—straight into a nail.
I step outside. “Hello? You want to tell me what you’re doing?”
He ignores me, damn him, and picks up a wooden box. No. Not a wooden box. A birdhouse. A pretty one, actually. He places the birdhouse on the nail, straightens it, and tucks the hammer through one of the belt loops in his jeans. He turns to me.
And oh my God, I’ve missed him. His face, his rough but gentle hands. “You shouldn’t come any closer,” I say.
I don’t know what I’ll do, but I’m pretty sure it will consist of me plastering myself to him if he’s not careful, and that would be humiliating. A girl can only take so much rejection. He brought me a birdhouse, but that doesn’t mean he wants to get back together. It could be an apology for the way he talked to me the last time we spoke.
His jaw sets. “You’re still my girlfriend.”
I gape. What the… Is he serious? “Says who?” I mean, this is what I want, but he’s lost his damn mind. We broke up. He’s not making sense.
Adam scrubs his face, then steps closer. “You’re not going to make this easy, are you?”
“Make what easy?”
He takes another step, until our toes are practically touching and I’m forced to look up. For a moment, he doesn’t say anything. His gaze tracks my eyes, my mouth—back to my eyes again. “You were right. After my father… I couldn’t lose you too.”
I press my lips together and let out a slow, hopeful breath. It’s not just an apology. It’s more. “You won’t.”
“I lose everyone I care about.”
So honest, and it breaks my heart. “You won’t lose me.”
His arms come around me. “I don’t know that.” I start to pull away to argue with him, but he doesn’t let me. “Though I won’t let it stop me from being with you. I’m going to do everything I can to make you happy, because I don’t want a life without you.” He pulls back just enough to look down at me. “I love you.”
I’m stunned for all of two seconds, then I reach up and drag his head down until my mouth is on his, taking what I’ve been starving for. “I missed you,” I say between kisses. “You scared the shit out of me.” More kissing. “Don’t ever do that to me again.” More lip-lock, but this time, he tilts my head and his tongue dives inside. He picks me up with one arm under my ass and throws the door open, entering the house, moving in the direction of my bedroom.
I pull my mouth away and hold his head between my hands. “Don’t you dare leave me like that again.”
“Never.” He drags my head back to his mouth.
Adam opens the door to my bedroom and enters. “No more working apart,” I say as he crosses the room. “We’re a team from now on. Agreed?”
“Team,” he says, and tosses me on the bed, following closely on top of me.
“That means trusting,” I point out. “Both of us.”
“Got it,” he murmurs, kissing my neck and the tops of my breasts.
“Adam.” I wrench his face up, my hands on either side of his face again. “Are you listening?”
He grabs one of my hands and kisses the palm. “Yes.” Then the other hand and kisses it too. “I am here for you. Always. No more dick maneuvers and pushing you away. In my adolescent, hormone-stricken brain, I think I fell in love with you the first time I noticed you on the steps of our high school.”
“You did?” I choke. Damn tears, clogging my throat.
“Or maybe it was the moment I saw your ass in the air inside your office that first day at Blue?”
I smack his chest. “This is a serious moment!”
Grinning, he ducks his head and kisses my mouth. “It is serious. Everything I’ve said is true. I’m not leaving you. Honestly, it was probably more punishment for me than it was for you. I damn near left town because I couldn’t stop thinking about you. Being close and not with you was killing me. Give me another chance?”
“If you’ll give me another. I was stubborn. I’m so sorry for not trusting you.”
He rolls his eyes.
“What?”
“You are stubborn. I don’t expect that to change. I like your stubborn side. Keeps me on my toes. Speaking of…” He reaches down and tickles my feet, sliding his hand up my leg. “You have on far too many clothes.”
“Really? I was rather comfortable,” I say, pretending I didn’t catch his innuendo.
“Oh no. You’re going to be too hot in just a moment.”
His hand dips between my thighs and his mouth covers my nipple through my shirt, which he found blind through my top, homing in on it perfectly. I moan lightly. “You’re right. It’s too hot. You’d better take off all your clothes too.”
He chuckles and starts ditching his shirt. I get distracted by his chest. “Wait. Too fast,” I say with a smile, as I run my hands all over his stomach and chest and arms.
“Nope.” He yanks at my pants. “Have you any idea how lon
g it’s been since we’ve—” He waggles his eyebrows.
“I think I have some idea. Someone decided we needed to abstain,” I say pertly.
He unhooks my bra. “That man should be shot.”
“Eh, I’ll keep him around. He has his uses.” I palm his erection, get frustrated with the jeans he’s wearing—with the hammer still tucked through a belt loop, getting all up in my business—and scramble to the bottom of the bed to tug them off.
I drop the hammer on the floor. I like his tools, but that’s not the one I’m interested in right now.
“While you’re down there,” he says, on his back now, his arms crossed beneath his head, “might as well slip off your pants too.”
“Is that how it’s going to be?” I grab a condom from the econo-sized stash Adam bought weeks ago.
He shrugs.
I slip off my top—because apparently that wasn’t as important as unhooking my bra to him—kick off my jeans and underwear, and climb up his body.
“Shit,” he breathes. “That’s the sexiest image.”
I rub his erection, which is straining for his belly button, and pull it back until it’s upright. I slide the condom on. Adam’s eyes widen and he grips my hips. I lift up and glide down, until I’m fully seated with him inside me.
Adam’s head drops back. “Fuck.”
I brace my hands on his shoulders and circle my hips, sliding up and down in slow movements. “This what you wanted? For me to do all the work?”
His face is strained. He flips me over. “Not today. Been too long.” And then he’s rocking into me, his hand on my breast, the other hand cradling the side of my face as his body hits all the places shouting their approval, having sorely missed his presence.
My orgasm doesn’t roll over me; it hits me like a thunderbolt. I scream, gasping for air.
When my head finally returns to Earth, I notice beads of sweat dotting Adam’s forehead, his chest glistening. He flips me over so that I’m on top again, and bucks into me, gripping my hips, stomach muscles clenched and ripped.
A groan tears from his throat. His pace slows, becomes unsteady.
He flattens his hand on my back and folds me to his chest, pressing soft kisses to my face. We roll to the side and stare into each other’s eyes.
I’ve missed this—just this.
After a few minutes, reality sets in and I realize I need to use the bathroom. When I crawl back in bed again, Adam pulls the bedspread over me. “I’ll be bunking here for a while. Hope that’s okay? My house sucks without you in it.”
I grin and wrap my arms around him. “My place doesn’t feel like home without your suits taking up all the shoe space.”
He grins and closes his eyes. “Then it’s settled. I’m staying.”
Chapter Forty-Two
Adam
Six Weeks Later
Hayden glances over from the passenger seat of my boat. “Are you sure it’s safe to go out at night?”
“That’s what boat lights are for.”
“But they’re so tiny.”
I grin. “It’s a big lake, Hayden, and it’s late. I doubt we’ll pass anyone.”
She sits forward, scanning the dark water. “Okay, I trust you.” She doesn’t sound confident.
I laugh. “You sure?”
She looks over again. “What? I trust you.” I wink, because I know she does. My girlfriend just has trouble not being in charge. It’s a good thing I’m a strong man and can handle her.
Of course, I don’t tell her that or she’d kick my ass.
I stop the boat a little way offshore and cut the engine. “Where are those blankets you carried down?”
She stands and reaches toward the bow seats, and I grab her ass. She looks back. “That was sneaky.”
I shrug. “You know how I operate. You put that in my face and it gets fondled.”
She shoves the blankets at me and I chuckle. “Sit in your seat for a minute.”
“Why?” she asks suspiciously.
“Where’s the trust, my love?” She growls, and I spread out thick blankets on the floor of the back of the boat, smiling. I grab the pillow I remembered for the makeshift bed and lie down. I pat the covers. “Join me?”
She crawls over. “What are you up to?”
“I thought we could lie under the stars in the middle of the lake.”
She snuggles up and I cover her with one of the blankets. “Actually, that’s kind of romantic.”
We look up at the stars for a moment, my hand lazily rubbing her arm. It’s all for show. I’m a nervous wreck inside. “I spoke to Levi.”
“Oh?” She plasters her cold nose to my neck and nuzzles me.
“My father’s will was read a while back. I didn’t go. Couldn’t… Well, anyway, I wasn’t in any shape to see people. Levi said my father left something for me. I picked up the item a couple of weeks ago, but I wanted to wait until tonight to tell you about it.”
She scoots back to look at me. “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah. Everything is perfect. Well, not perfect—we’re not perfect people and we’ll drive each other crazy from time to time.” Now I’m rambling. Great job, Cade. “What I’m trying to say is that you’re perfect for me and I love you. I can’t imagine life without you, and I’m tired of running back and forth to pick up clothes from my place.”
“So…you want to live together?”
“Yes, that, but—Hayden—” I swallow. Jesus Christ, why is this so hard? “I want to marry you. I—I love you, and I want to marry you. Will you be my wife?”
She’s silent. And not moving.
“Hayden?” I lean in until our noses touch. It’s fucking dark, and I can barely see her eyes, but I think she’s crying. Shit. “We can wait. There’s no rush—” She launches on me, squeezing the air from my lungs. “Is that a yes?”
“I love you,” she says breathily, as if she’s run a mile. “Yes.”
I hold her tight, so grateful for my father right now. Had I not done what he said and taken that job at Blue, I might not have gotten the opportunity to know Hayden. We might have run into each other, since we have mutual friends, but it wouldn’t have been the same. I wouldn’t have seen her daily, had the chance to annoy the crap out of her until she was forced to succumb to my charm. Bottom line: I have a lot to be thankful for. My father, my mother, my brothers, and this woman in my arms.
I roll her to the side and dig in my pocket. “You don’t have to wear it as your engagement ring. I can buy you another, but this was in the will. My father said that my mother wanted me to have it.”
I hold up the ring that’s set with a clear, cushion-cut diamond with smaller diamonds surrounding it. It’s pretty, but I don’t know shit about this stuff, and I want Hayden to love whatever ring she wears.
Her lips press together, and this time I’m certain tears roll down her cheeks. I should have brought a lantern, dammit. “It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.” Her voice catches and she slides the ring on her left ring finger. “Don’t you dare try and replace it. I love it.”
I pull her close and hold up her hand. And for a moment, I remember this ring. The way it sparkled on my mother’s hand. She used to let me spin it around on her finger.
I look into Hayden’s eyes. “I’m about to say some corny shit, so brace yourself.” I take a deep breath and blink back the emotion threatening to steal my man card. “I’ve never been happier in my life than in this moment, and the last top five have featured you naked, so you can imagine the heights this one had to climb.” She grins, and this one I can see, because it beams out from within. “Thank you for never letting me get away with my shit, and for loving me even when I’m being a jackass. I’ll always be here for you—I’ll always be fighting for you.”
I kiss her, and I swear the light that shines through her smile radiates into the kiss, warming my body and the heart I once thought had frozen over for good.
Epilogue
Adam
> “You’ve got this,” I tell Jaeg.
He looks like he’s about to pass out. What happens when a six-foot-six, two-hundred-thirty-pound man falls in the forest? Does he make a sound?
Jaeg gulps and touches his tie. “You sure I don’t look like a tool?”
“Of course you do, but that’s the point. That’s why it’s called a grand gesture.”
Jaeg’s face turns white. “I think I’m going to puke.”
“Don’t puke. It will kill the romantic vibe. Pull it together, man.”
Loud yapping sounds come from behind, and we both turn. A little brown wiener dog defies gravity and his size and launches four feet toward Jaeg’s crotch. I flinch.
Jaeg catches the dog with crazy small-dog-catching agility. “Hey, Buddy,” he coos in the girly voice he uses when he’s talking to his and Cali’s dog-child. “How’s my little guy?”
“Jaeg. They’ll be here soon.”
Jaeger straightens and clears his throat. “Right. Here, take Buddy.” He hands me the dog, and the little guy nearly squirms out of my arms. “Hold him tight. Cali will kill me if anything happens to him.”
I roll my eyes. Jaeg would break my arm if anything happened to the dog. “They’re coming. Pull it together.”
Jaeg jogs in place, the light gray suit I helped him pick out straining at his he-man muscles.
“Simmer before you split a seam,” I tell him.
He shakes out his arms and takes a deep breath. “I’m ready. Go hide somewhere before she sees you.”
The plan is to get Cali into the middle of the forest where Jaeg had me and the other guys haul his one-thousand-pound manmade wood trellis. I might have pulled a hammy—that son of a bitch was heavy. Jaeg’s been working on the trellis for months, but he only just told Tyler and me and the other guys his plans for it.
“Buddy!” I hear Cali call. I make a run for it into the woods, holding the dog like a football.
I duck behind a boulder where Hayden and the rest of the gang are waiting and spying. Hayden kisses my cheek and coos quietly at Buddy. We watch as Cali walks up the path with Gen.
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