by Zane Grey
Once across the swale he put his pony to a gallop and soon reached Uncle George’s homestead. No one at home! The horse and wagon were gone. Pan left his package and turned back. As he trotted past the Blake gate Pan heard a faint call. It startled him. Reining in Curly he listened and looked. Blake’s cabin stood back out of sight among the Cottonwoods. The barn, however, with its low open-sided shed, stood just inside the gate. The cows had been brought in for milking. A lusty calf was trying to steal milk from its mother. Chickens were going to roost. Pan did not believe that any of these had made the call. He was about to ride on by when suddenly he again caught a strange cry that appeared to come from the barn or shed. It excited rather than frightened him. Sliding off Curly he pushed open the big board gate and ran in.
Under the open shed he found Mrs. Blake lying on some hay which evidently she had just pulled down from the loft. When she saw Pan her pale convulsed face changed somehow. “Oh — thank God!” she cried.
“Are you hurted?” asked Pan in hurried sympathy. “Did you fall out of the haymow?”
“No, but I’m in terrible pain.”
“Aw — you’re sick?”
“Yes. And I’m alone. Will you please — go for your mother?”
“Mama an’ Daddy went to town,” replied Pan in distress. “An’ nobody’s home at Uncle George’s.”
“Then you must be a brave little man and help me.”
Bill Smith hurrying homeward with his wife and Jim Blake were belated by the storm. It was midnight when they arrived at Bill’s house. They found Curly with bridle hanging, standing in the snow beside the barn. Mrs. Smith was distracted. Bill and Jim, though worried, did not fear the worst. But with lanterns they set out upon the tracks Curly had left in the snow. Bill’s wife would not remain behind.
Soon they arrived at Blake’s homestead, though the pony tracks became difficult to follow and found Pan wide awake, huddled beside the cow, true to the trust that had been given him. Mrs. Blake was not in bad condition, considering the circumstances, nor was the baby. It was a girl, whom Jim named Lucy right then and there, after his wife.
The men carried the mother and her babe up to the house, while Mrs. Smith followed with the now sleepy Pan. They built fires in the open grate, and in the kitchen stove, and left Mrs. Smith to attend to the mother. Both women heard the men talking. But Pan never heard, for he had been put to bed in a corner, rolled in blankets.
“Doggone my hide!” exclaimed Bill. “Never seen the beat of that kid of mine!”
“Mebbe Pan saved both their lives, God bless him,” replied Blake with emotion.
“Quien sabe? It might be...Wal, strange things happen. Jim, that kid of mine was born right out on the plowed field. An’ here comes your kid — born in the cowshed on the hay!”
“It is strange,” mused Blake, “though we ought to look for such happenin’s out in this great west.”
“Wal, Pan an’ Lucy couldn’t have a better birthright. It ought to settle them two kids for life.”
“You mean grow up an’ marry some day? Now that would be fine. Shake on it, Bill.”
Pan asleep in the corner of the other room and Lucy wailing at her mother’s breast were pledged to each other by their fathers.
The winter passed for Pan much as had the preceding one, except that he had more comfort to play his everlasting game of roundup.
“When will Lucy be big enough to play with me?” he often asked. The strange little baby girl had never passed from his mind, though he had never seen her. She seemed to form the third link in his memory of the forging of his life. Curly — the cowboys — and Lucy! He did not know how to reconcile her with the other two. But those three events stood out above the blur of the past.
At last the snow melted, the prairie took on a sheen of green, the tree burst into bud, and birds returned to sing once more. All of this was beautiful, but insignificant beside Curly. He was fatter and friskier than ever.
Pan’s father came home once or twice a month that spring, always arriving late and leaving at an early hour. How Pan longed for his father’s coming!
Then there came the fourth epoch in Pan’s life. His father brought him a saddle. It was far from new, of Mexican make, covered with rawhide, and had an enormous shiny horn. Pan loved it almost as much as he loved Curly; and when it was not on the pony it adorned the fence or a chair, always with Pan astride it, acting like Tex.
The fifth, and surely the greatest event in Pan’s rapidly developing career, though he did not know it then, was when his mother took him over to see his baby, Lucy Blake. It appeared that the parents in both homesteads playfully called her “Pan’s baby.” That did not displease Pan, but it made him singularly shy. So it was long before his mother could get him to make the acquaintance of his protégée.
Pan’s first sight of Lucy was when she crawled over the floor to get to him. How vastly different she really was from the picture he recalled of a moving bundle wrapped in a towel! She was quite big and very wonderful. She was dressed in a little white dress. Her feet and legs were chubby. She had tiny pink hands. Her face was like a wild rose dotted with two violets for eyes. And her hair was spun gold. Marvelous as were all these things they were as nothing to the light of her smile. Pan’s shyness vanished, and he sat on the floor to play with her. He produced little chips and pebbles, and stones, with which he played roundup. Lucy grew most gratifyingly interested in Pan’s game, but she made it hard for him to play it, and also embarrassing, by clinging with most tenacious and unshakable grip to his finger.
Every Sunday that summer the Smiths visited at the homestead of the Blakes. They became fast friends. Bill and Jim discussed the cattle business. The mothers sewed and talked hopefully of the future. Pan never missed one of these Sunday visits, and the time came when he rode over on his own account. Lucy was the most satisfactory cowgirl in all the world. She did not object to his being Tex. She tried her best to call him Tex. And she crawled after him and toddled after him with unfailing worship. The grown folks looked on and smiled.
Meanwhile the weeks and months passed, the number of homesteaders increased, more and more cattle dotted the range. When winter came some of the homesteaders, including Pan and his mother, moved into Littleton to send their children to school.
Pan’s first teacher was Emma Jones. He liked her immediately which was when she called to take him to school. Pan was not used to strangers. The men in the streets, the grown boys all bothered him. Cowboys were scarce, and that was a great disappointment to Pan. It lowered Littleton in his estimation.
It developed that Pan was left handed. Now Miss Jones considered it wrong for anyone to write with his left hand so she tied Pan’s fast to the desk, and made him practice letters with his right. What a dreary unprofitable time Pan had of it! So many little boys and girls confused him, though he was not backward in making acquaintance. But he wanted Curly and the prairie. He would rather be with Lucy. Most of all he wanted the cowboys.
Dick Hardman came again into Pan’s life, fatefully, inevitably, as if the future had settled something inscrutable and sinister, and childhood days, school days, days of youth and manhood had been inextricably planned before they were born. Dick was in a higher grade and made the fact known to Pan. He had grown into a large boy, handsomer, bolder, with a mop of red hair that shone like a flame. He called Pan “the little skunk tamer,” and incited other boys to ridicule. So the buried resentment in Pan’s depths smoldered and burst into blaze again, and found fuel to burn it into hate. He told his mother what Dick had got the boys to call him. Then he was indeed surprised to see his sweet soft-eyed mother give way to quick-flashing passion. Somehow this leap of her temper strengthened Pan in his resentment. He had her blood, her fire, her pride, though he was only a child.
Then the endless school days were over for a while. Summer had come. Pan moved back to the beloved homestead, to the open ranges, to Curly and Lucy. Only she had changed. She could stand at his knee and call him T
ex. He resumed his old games with her, and in time graduated her to a seat on the back of Curly. If she had not already unconsciously filled his heart that picture of her laughing and unafraid would have done so.
Another uncle had moved into the country to take up a homestead. Pan now had a second place to ride to, farther away, over a wilder bit of range, and much to his liking. He saw cowboys every time he rode there.
One day while Pan was at this new uncle’s, a dreadful thing happened — his first real tragedy. Some cowboy left the slide door of the granary open. Curly got in there at the wheat. Before it became known he ate enormously and then drank copiously. It foundered him. It killed him.
When Pan came out of his stupefaction to realize his actual loss he was heartbroken. He could not be consoled. Hours he spent crying over his saddle. Not for a long time did he go to see little Lucy. His father could not afford to buy him another horse then and indeed it was a long time before he did get one.
Days and weeks passed, and fall came, then winter with more school, tedious and wearing, and again spring and summer. Cowboys were plentiful now in the growing range, but Pan avoided them, ashamed and sick because he could not approach them without Curly. He never got over grieving for his pony, though he reached a stage where any horse would have freed him from his melancholy. He played alone, or with Lucy. She was the one bright spot in all that gray prairie. Lucy was growing fast now; her golden curly head seemed to spring up at him.
That autumn the homesteaders erected a schoolhouse of their own. It was scarcely three miles from Pan’s home.
“Pan, can you walk it?” asked Bill Smith with his keen eye on the lad. “Yes Daddy — but — but,” replied Pan, unable to finish with the thought so dear to his heart.
“Ah — huh. An’ before long Lucy will be old enough to go too,” added his father. “Reckon you’ll take her?”
“Yes, Daddy.” And for Pan there was real gladness in that promise.
“Wal, you’re a good boy,” declared the father. “An’ you won’t have to walk to school. I’ve traded for two horses for you.”
“Two!” screamed Pan, wild with joy. “Oh! Oh! Oh!”
In due time the new horses arrived at the Smith homestead. Their names were Pelter and Pilldarlick. Pelter was a pinto, snappy and pretty, though he had a wicked eye. Pilldarlick was not showy, but he was small and strong, easy gaited and gentle. Pan thought he was going to like Pelter best, although Pilldarlick was surely a cowboy name and therefore all satisfying. It turned out, however, that Pan could not ride Pelter. He was locoed. He bucked Pan off every time. Pilldarlick was really much better than he looked, and soon filled the void in Pan’s heart.
The first time he rode Pilldarlick to the new school marked another red-letter day in the life of Panhandle Smith, cowboy. There were many boys and a few girls who had come to attend the school, only a few of whom had horses to ride. Pan was the proud cynosure of all eyes as he rode Pilldarlick round the yard for the edification of his schoolmates. It was the happiest day of Pan’s life — up until Dick Hardman arrived on a spirited little black mustang.
“Hey, where’d you git that nag?” yelled Dick, when he sighted Pan. “An’ say, your saddle ain’t nothin’ but rawhide on a stump.”
“You’re a liar!” shouted Pan, fiercely tumbling off Pilldarlick.
The red-headed lad pitched out of his saddle and made for Pan. They began to fight. Instinct was Pan’s guide. He hit and scratched and kicked. But Dick being the larger began to get the better of the battle, and soon was beating Pan badly when the new teacher came out to his rescue.
“Stop it,” she ordered, separating the belligerents. “Only cats and dogs fight.”
“So — do — cowboys!” panted Pan.
“Not nice ones. Only bad cowboys,” she replied, leading Pan away.
“I’ll lick you next time,” yelled Dick, evilly. “You stuck-up little snot!”
CHAPTER THREE
MISS AMANDA HILL, the teacher, rang the bell, calling all her scholars in, and school began once more.
Dick Hardman sat across the room from Pan and behind the teacher’s back he made ugly faces at Pan and, more than that, put his nose to his thumb. Pan understood that, and quick as a flash, he returned the compliment.
Recess came. Before half the scholars were out of the room Dick and Pan had run to the barn, out of the teacher’s sight, and here they fell upon each other like wildcats. It did not take Dick long to give Pan the first real beating of his life. Cut lip, bloody nose, black eye, dirty face, torn blouse — these things betrayed Pan at least to Miss Hill. She kept him in after school, and instead of scolding she talked sweetly and kindly. Pan came out of his sullenness, and felt love for her rouse in him. But somehow he could not promise not to fight again.
“S’pose Dick Hardman does that all over again!” expostulated Pan in despair. He did not realize what he felt. He wanted to please and obey this sweet little woman, but there was a revolt in him. “What’ll my — my daddy — say when he hears I got licked!” he sobbed.
She compromised finally by accepting Pan’s willing promise not to pick a fight with Dick.
Despite the unpleasant proximity of Dick Hardman, that winter at school promised to be happy and helpful to Pan. There were three large boys, already cowboys, who attended Miss Hill’s school. Pan gravitated at once to them, and to his great satisfaction they accepted him.
Later his old cowboy friend of the roundup arrived on the range with a trail herd of cattle from Texas. Their brand was an O X, a new one to Pan. He kept a record of all the brands he had seen, and practiced drawing them on paper. Moore and three of his cowboys came to board at Pan’s home, and kept their string of horses there. Pan’s cup was full. The days flew by. Snow and cold were nothing to him. Not even study, and the ever-malicious Dick Hardman could daunt his spirit. Moore meant to winter his herd there, and wait for spring before he drove it farther north.
The cowboys’ nickname for Moore was Pug, and another fellow whose real name Pan never heard was called Slats. They taught Pan all the cowboy songs from “Ti yi oop oop ya ya” to “Bury me on the Lone Prairie.” Every night Pan listened to them sing by the fire in their bunkhouse, and many times he had to be called to do his chores.
Another of the cowboys was called Hookey. His nose resembled that of a parrot and he had the disposition of a locoed coyote, according to Pug and Slats. Hookey took a dislike to Pan, and always sought to arouse the boy’s temper. These cowboys were always gone in the morning before Pan got up, but by the time he arrived home from school on Pilldarlick they were usually there.
Slats, who wanted to be a lady killer, would say: “Wal, Button, what did your school marm say about me today?” And Hookey would make fun of Pilldarlick, which ridicule had more power to hurt Pan than anything else. One day Pan gave way to fury, and with flying rocks he chased Hookey into the cellar, and every time Hookey poked up his head Pan would fling a stone with menacing accuracy. That time his mother came to the rescue of the cowboy. After that Hookey bought a new saddle and gave Pan his old one. That settled hostilities. Pan had a change of heart. No matter how Hookey teased or tormented him he could never again make him angry. Pan saw Hookey with different eyes.
He was unutterably happy now with a horse and saddle too, and went about singing: “My trade is cinchin’ saddles an’ pullin’ bridle reins.”
One day two strange men arrived at the Smith homestead. They had still hard faces, intent gray eyes; they packed guns, and one of them wore a bright star on his vest. These men took Hookey away with them. And after they were gone the cowboys told Pan that Hookey was wanted for horse stealing. Young as Pan was he understood the enormity of that crime in the eyes of cowboys. He felt terribly hurt and betrayed. Long indeed was it before he forgot Hookey.
Swiftly that winter passed. Pan had a happy growing time of it. Study had not seemed so irksome, perhaps owing to the fact that he had a horse and saddle; he could ride to and fro; he often
stopped to see Lucy who was now big enough to want to go to school herself; and the teacher had won his love. Pan kept out of fights with Dick Hardman until one recess when Dick called him “teacher’s pet.” That inflamed Pan, as much because of the truth of it as the shame. So this time, though he had hardly picked a fight, he was the first to strike. With surprising suddenness he hit the big Dick square on the nose. When Dick got up howling and swearing, his face was hideous with dirt and blood. Then began a battle that dwarfed the one in the barn. Pan had grown considerably. He was quick and strong, and when once his mother’s fighting blood burned in him he was as fierce as a young savage. But again Dick whipped him.
Miss Hill, grieved and sorrowful, sent Pan home with a note. It chanced that both his father and mother were at home when he arrived. They stood aghast at his appearance.
“You dirty ragged bloody boy!” cried his mother, horrified.
“Huh! You oughta see Dick Hardman!” ejaculated Pan.
The lad thought he had ruined himself forever with Miss Amanda Hill. But to his amaze and joy he had not. Next day she kept him in after school, cried over him, kissed him, talked long and earnestly. All that Pan remembered was: “Something terrible will come of your hate for Dick Hardman if you don’t root it out of your heart.”
“Teacher — why don’t you — talk to Dick this way?” faltered Pan, always won by her tenderness.
“Because Dick is a different kind of a boy,” she replied, but never explained what she meant.
At Christmas time the parents of the school children gave a party at the schoolhouse. Every one on the range for miles around was there. Pan for once had his fill of seeing cowboys. Miss Amanda was an attraction no cowboys could resist. That night Pan spoke his first piece entitled: “Sugar-tooth Dick for sweeties was sick.”
To Pan it seemed a silly piece, but he spoke it to please Miss Amanda, and because it was a hit at Dick Hardman. To his surprise he received a roar of applause. After the supper, dancing began. Some of the cowboys got drunk. There were fights, two of which Pan saw, to his thrilling fear and awe. It was long past midnight when he yielded to the intense drowsiness that overcame him. When he awoke at dawn they were still dancing.