by T. Styles
“Look, I don’t have time for this shit!” he says grabbing my wrists. “I tried! Okay?!” He throws my wrists down. “And if you ever see my face in the future, don’t ever put your fuckin’ hands on me again.”
“You don’t care! You don’t fuckin’ care if my friend dies or not!”
“I did all I could.” He says as he spits on the ground by my feet, looks at Miss Tyrone and storms away.
I break down in tears and Miss Tyrone holds me as we both witness the chaos surrounding the house. Adrian is so helpless, so young and all alone. Soon I shake him off and run toward the house but another fireman stops me.
“What are you doing?” He’s taller than me and his brown eyes are comforting.
“My friend is in that house and he won’t help us!” I point at the other fireman. “But I will not stand by and allow my friend to die.”
“Look,” he says lookin’ at his fellow fireman quizzically. “I’ll see what I can do. Where exactly is he in the house?”
“In the basement…but I have to show you.”
He grabs me firmly on my shoulders and says, “Let me do my job. Okay? Trust me.”
I nod and he rushes inside of the house. I’m nervous but there’s something about his presence that relaxes me.
We look at the house that continues to burn away before our eyes. Within seconds, the remaining windows shatter and fire shoots out of them under the night sky. All I wanted was to get away for a few weeks and already it seemed as if trouble decided to greet me. I rub my arms briskly and feel overcome with worry.
Within minutes of the thought of Adrian being gone enterin’ my mind, I see the fireman rush out carrying him in his arms. The other firemen rush to him and lift Adrian out of his arms, taking him to a gurney where the paramedics work diligently on his twenty-something year old body.
“Oh my, Gawd! Are you okay, Adrian?” I ask rushin’ behind the paramedics trying to get a look at him.
There are too many of them and they push me out of the way. “You can’t be over here,” a white paramedic with blonde hair says. “He needs air!”
“This is my family and I’m goin’ with him!” I say as they place an oxygen mask over his nose and mouth. His eyes open and I feel relief but his body is covered with black soot.
“Sir you can’t be over here! Now move!” the paramedic persists.
And when I turn behind me to thank the man who saved his life, I hear him yellin’ at the firefighter who spit at my feet.
“Look, if you don’t want to do your job than don’t do it somewhere else!”
“Come on, chief. He’s…a fuckin’ faggot.”
I gasp.
“What if I would’ve gotten the AIDS or something?” the fireman continues.
“This is the second time something like this has happened with you. When we get back to the station, you’re suspended until further notice!”
The fireman takes off his yellow hat, looks at me and storms in the direction of the fire truck. And then for some reason, the man I now know as the chief looks at me kindly. Could he…be…gay?
Naw.
With my attention back on Adrian, I’m able to walk up to him and he reaches for me.
“What, honey?” I say holding his hand. “What do you need?”
He pulls me closer to him and removes his oxygen mask. “You shoulda let me die.”
I was stunned and ask, “Why, baby?”
“The fire…the fire was…”
“Sir, I’m not going to tell you again! Unless you’re blood related, you aren’t going to be able to go with us.”
Then they rush him into the ambulance and I watch them drive him away.
Through everything that was going on, I never once considered that he didn’t want to live. Not once. But how could I? I’ve been a rescuer all my life and dying even if you wanted to was never an option. For me anyway.
Reflecting On The Younger Years
Miss Wayne
“You shoulda minded your own business!” a pretty 13-year old girl said with two long black pigtails as she was screaming in Parade’s face. They all stood in the schoolyard afterhours. “Cuz nobody was even talkin’ to you!”
Parade stood her ground with clenched fists. She didn’t care that the four girls encasing her in a circle, meant her extreme harm. Not even the fall breeze could cool off the angry children. But Parade made a decision to defend the new girl Sky and so she had to deal with the beef that came along with her choice. Her white t-shirt was dirty beyond belief due to tussling with them in the damp grass and the hand-me-down blue jeans she wore were mucky.
“Look at your ugly face!” one of the girls teased.
Parade’s heart ached as she wiped away some of the dirt that crept onto her skin during the first part of their battle. The small scratches on her dark chocolate skin bled slightly.
“She ain’t nothin’ but a black ugly bitch!”
Wayne seeing the altercation from a far, ran up to the girls on the small patch of grass. For some reason, he was born with the superhero syndrome. If he couldn’t save someone, he’d die trying.
“I know ya’ll not jumpin’ her,” he said standing in front of her. His pink backpack hugged his back like the acid wash tight jeans and colorful converse he designed himself. He threw the bag on the ground, placed his hands on his hips and stared them down.
He was certainly one of the flyer kids in school with his flamboyant fashions and colors. He went from being unpopular at his last school to rock-star status in two days at the new elementary school.
“Who the fuck are you anyway?” one of them asked.
“Don’t worry ‘bout all that, cause it ain’t gonna be no jump or I’m jumpin’ in.”
At first everyone was silent when Wayne approached. Parade had never seen the boy before and Sky who was several feet behind Parade stood in incredulity. She couldn’t believe the boldness that was Wayne.
And to think, it all started over a boy. Diamond was mad with Sky for taking her boyfriend but she pretty much predicted the entire event. She knew the moment she saw Sky with her long beautiful hair, flawless smooth light skin and expensive clothes, that her boyfriend, One, would want Sky instead. She was right.
“Uggh…,” Diamond, the tallest of the girls said pointing at Wayne. “You ggaaayy!”
Wayne smacked her so hard in the face, her lips trembled like cymbals on a drum set. She dropped to the ground.
“Bitch, you don’t know me so don’t act like you do!”
Diamond on the ground, cried her eyes out. Her three friends walked closer to Wayne in anger and Parade stood by his side. Needless to say, Sky remained where she was, in the background.
Seeing their friend lying on the ground, the girls begin swinging wild arms toward Wayne and Parade. Parade who fought almost every day of her young life, landed traumatic blow after blow to the girls’ faces. Together, she and Wayne beat the dog shit out of the girls sending them running on their way.
Something in Parade’s eyes wouldn’t let it rest. She caught Diamond a few feet out and stomped her like she stole something. At first Wayne and Sky were laughing until they saw the rage in Parade’s eyes. She looked dejected and angry all at once. She had something on her mind…that much was evident. She felt no one cared about her and she wanted to make someone, anyone, suffer because of it. She also harbored a secret so great, she could never tell a soul.
Wayne ran up to Parade and pulled her away from the girl. Diamond lifted her beaten body from the moist grass and ran as fast as she could.
“You aight?” he asked putting one arm around Parade.
“Get the fuck off me! You don’t know me!” Parade yelled in his face. “I didn’t need no help! I had them bitches straight up!” She ran off the field and toward her house.
Although his first time meeting the girl who would one day be one of his closest friends was unpleasant, there was something about her he liked and he made a decision to find out more about her, even
if she didn’t want him too.
Finger Licking Good
Miss Wayne
“I’m so sick of Popeye’s!” Dayshawn says as we all strut through the restaurant’s door. He’s wearing black slacks, a plain hot pink t-shirt and he looks so cute. Dayshawn is what we gays consider an Abercrombie Bitch because he usually wears casual clothing with not a lot of spice. “Plus I just had a pickled egg and cheese sunflower seeds. I’m not even all that hungry.”
“Me either. After seeing Miss Adrian in that hospital today, I think I lost my appetite. He looks so sad.” I say feeling my phone vibrate in my purse. “Plus until I can call the bank to find out what’s wrong with my bank card I can’t buy shit anyway. I’m just glad it started actin’ up after we got the hotel room.”
“Well ain’t nothin’ wrong with my appetite. I can eat all day!” Miss Tyrone says rubbing his hands over the back of his tight ass blue jeans. His white t-shirt tied up in a knot in the back as usual. He loves showing off when he gets around men. “’Cause you know my sexy ass gotta stay nice and plump!” he continues smacking his lips and acting like a sissy. He gives queens like me a bad rep!
Since she’s being loud, I walk a few feet over and say, “Hello.”
“Girl, I can’t believe you’re on the phone again. Damn!” Tyrone says.
“Mind your fuckin’ business and get what you brought your rusty ass in here for. Always worryin’ ‘bout what the queen is doin’!”
“Miss Wayne, where were you? I’ve been tryin’ to reach you all day!” Parade screams into the phone.
“Parade, more shit is goin’ on in DC than you know. But I’m here now so what’s up?” Although she is mad now, I know she’ll be exited when she hears I’m coming home later this week.
“You’re being audited by the IRS.” She says.
“Audited? What you talkin’ about?”
“It doesn’t look good, Miss Wayne. IRS agents came into ya’ll boutique yesterday snatching up papers and shit. It was terrible! Then they froze you and Daffany’s bank accounts! Daffany is so scared right now and I am too!”
I stop in my steps and look out before me. I put sixty thousand dollars of my money in the bank and now I don’t have access to it? That would explain why my card stopped working.
“I don’t understand…why? What happened?” I asked gripping the phone so tightly, I keep mashing the keys, interrupting our call.
“Daffany said the taxes weren’t being paid. And since me and Jay are co-owners of ya’ll business, they’re investigating us too.”
The smell of the food was makin’ my stomach churn after hearing this shit. I had been doin’ things illegal for so long, that I never thought about what it took to run a legal operation. Plus I assumed Daffany would make sure things were okay since we co-owned All Girls Boutique together. And now that I think about it, I was being ridiculous. She has her hands full as it is with Shantay.
“Where is Daffany now?”
“In our house but she hasn’t left the guestroom. Just been in there crying all day. You gotta come home, Miss Wayne. Please.”
Wow…I was just getting ready to tell her I was on the next plan to LA. But with the IRS snooping around there, I needed to stay as far away from home as possible. I had to think of a way to come up on some cash quick.
“Parade, what is Daffany gonna do about her HIV cocktail? If the accounts are frozen how she gonna pay for her meds?”
“For now me and Jay got it. But you know we have a few rental properties that are vacant and we aren’t making profit. So we’re covering the mortgages there plus our own. And with the new baby…and the twins, it’s just too hectic. You got any money lyin’ around you can help her with?”
“Chic, you sure you not gonna eat?” Tyrone laughs. “You standin’ over there like a baby shittin’ in a pamper. Ease up girl, why so tense?”
I couldn’t even curse his ashy ass out. I needed to sit down and think.
“I got some cash in a box under my bed at my apartment. It’s about twenty thousand dollars. Use your key to get in. When you get it, give ten thousand dollars to Daffany and send me the rest through FEDEX. I’ma call you back when I get the address. And don’t worry, I’ll think of somethin’.”
When she hangs up I place the phone in my black Gucci purse. My mind is workin’ overtime because the words BROKE BITCH and Miss Wayne just don’t mix! Not to mention Daffany needed my help more than anything if she was going to stay healthy. Since we were paying for our own healthcare, shit was expensive. We spend a couple thousand dollars on Miss Daffany’s medicine alone each month.
“Give me a three piece white, red beans and rice. Oh…and don’t forget my biscuit.” Miss Tyrone says to the cashier. “And a fruit punch soda too.” He turns to look at me with an attitude and says, “Mother Wayne, do you want somethin’ or not?”
“Uh…no, I’m good. But hurry up. I’m not feelin’ too fabulous right now. Where is Dayshawn?”
“Over there talkin’ to Dell.” She says handing the cashier her money. “Apparently his cornball ass is back in town. And as usual Day runnin’ behind his ass.”
When I look behind me, I see Dayshawn standing by a table and Dell sitting down. Then I see a pretty transvestite walk over to Dell, kiss him on his cheek and sit down in the available seat across from him. She smiles at Dayshawn and offers her hand to shake. But Miss Dayshawn looks at them both and storms out of the restaurant.
Tyrone rolls her eyes up in that big ass forehead of hers and says, “I knew that nigga wasn’t no good! That’s why I told her to leave him alone. I’m not hatin’ I’m just statin’!”
“You know a whole lot, Oprah! And as far as I know, there’s nothin’ written that you can’t date somebody else after a relationship is over. So stop wit’ all the judgmental bullshit because I’m tired of hearin’ it.”
She looks at me and says, “I be glad when you feel better. Ever since you been back from LA, you been actin’ different.”
“Bitch, what are you talkin’ about? The house burned down, Miss Adrian wants to kill herself, Marlene was murdered by the fuckin’ Drag Queen Slayer, the IRS has attached themselves to my money and now one of my best friends just had her feelings hurt by her ex-boyfriend! I know you a selfish bitch but can you really be that fuckin’ insensitive?
“Excuse me, mam…I mean sir…are you in line?” asks a pesty little white woman behind me.
“Do you see the back of my ass?”
“Uh…yes.”
“Then I’m in line.” I say turnin’ back around to look at Miss Tyrone.
I hear the old bitch sayin’ something under her breath but I don’t even care. Too much is happening too quick!
“Here’s your change, cutie,” the average looking male cashier says to Miss Tyrone, givin’ him the eye.
I don’t care where in the world you are, if you a gay man, you know how to give the eye. And the eye means one thing and one thing only…I wanna fuck you and I wanna fuck you right now. Personally he couldn’t get my ass wet but Miss Tyrone has zero standards.
“Cutie huh?” Tyrone grins.
“That’s what I said.”
“Well how about sayin’ that in my ear a little later? Maybe you can show me how cute you think I really am.” He says leaning on the counter.
The cashier who is butch, licks his black-smoked-out lips and says, “Look, the white meat gonna be a few minutes, and I got a break comin’ up in a sec, so let me holla at you before you leave right quick.”
Miss Tyrone turns around and grins at me like she just nailed Trey Songz.
“I’ma go check on Dayshawn,” I say. “But don’t be all day runnin’ your mouth. I got a lot of shit on my mind and I need to go to the hotel to think things through.”
When I turn to leave, the little lady behind me pushes her way to the front so I trip her. Don’t worry, she ain’t fall. Just stares at me and walks her cotton ball head ass to the front of the line.
“I’ll be out in a
minute, mother Wayne. Tell Dayshawn I love him.” He says being as fake as Gucci spelled with an O.
The more I hang around Tyrone, the more I’m starting to hate him.
Once at the car I see Dayshawn leaning against it, smoking a cigarette. You can tell she’s been crying because she keeps wiping her tears.
“You got one for me?” I ask.
He gives me one and I fire it up and lean on the car next to him. A little dirt creeps onto my black jeans and I wipe it away.
“What happened? That’s his new bitch or somethin’? ‘Cause if it is, he needs to take her ass to the salon to get her lace front touched up. That shit look like somebody came on her forehead and let it dry up.”
He smiles but more tears roll down his face. She wipes them away. See the thing about Miss Dayshawn is this…whenever she’s upset, she can never let herself cry. She’ll just change her facial expression and rock back and forth in place. You have to figure out what she means based on that.
“Look, if it’s meant to be it will be. But until then, you gotta do you. Anyway she ain’t got nothin’ over you, Day. You know that.”
When he drops his cigarette and smashes it on the ground he hugs me. I know he’s feeling a little better, for now anyway.
We’re in the car for thirty minutes and I was on my way inside to gut punch Miss Tyrone’s freak ass, when she comes out smiling from ear to ear. The Popeye’s bag in her hand is half crumbled and holey.
“I’m Ready!” she sings moving into the passenger seat adjusting her blue Chinese cut wig. “You alright, Day?”
“Fuck all that! What took you so long?” I ask.
“What you think?” she grins tugging at her jeans.
“I know you didn’t do what I think you just did.”
“And what was that?”
“Let that nigga get his ashy dick wet.”
“And what if I did?”
“What the fuck is wrong with you? ‘Cause I know you ain’t got no condom on you to be servin’ niggas today.”
“He don’t look like he got nothin’. Plus ain’t nothin’ gonna happen to me. Hell, with all the niggas I fucked in my life and I still ain’t got that shit? Trust me, I’m good.”