by T. Styles
“But…I don’t know…I mean…how did they know it was you?”
“They don’t know anything for sure,” Paul corrects him. “If they did I wouldn’t be talking to you right now.”
“Well what happened? We covered our tracks. We did everything like we planned including puttin’ on gloves. We even cut her penis off and put it in her mouth like the slayer does.”
Queen Paul starts to bore with Kevin’s anxiousness. So he ignores him and as if a light goes off in Kevin’s head he says, “Unless…unless you’re really behind all the shit that’s been happening in the news to begin with.” He says staring down at him. “Queen Paul, I asked you before, but I’ma just ask you again, are you behind all those other murders too?”
“And like you asked me before, I told you it wasn’t me. And if you don’t believe me, then that’s on you.” Paul rises from her chair and struts toward her bedroom.
“I got your number, bitch!” He says to himself. “And I’m not goin’ down with you either.”
Two Hours Later
Kevin waltz’s into a Washington DC police department wearing a cute black dress and ugly orange shoes. Sure her massive neck and head on top of her body made her look like Wesley Snipes in drag…but as far as she was concerned, she was beautiful.
At first she considered turning around and going home, after all, she also participated in the murder of Brandon Bar. Instead of incriminating herself, she had plans to remix things in her favor.
Walking up to the counter she says, “I’d like to speak to a detective please.”
“And what is this in reference to?” An officer asks looking Kevin up and down.
“I’d like to report a murder.”
Lunch with Parade
Miss Wayne
The fried fish was done and I just finished making a fresh salad with leafy greens, tomatoes, onions and shredded cheddar cheese. I walk the bowl over to the table, dish out two plates and sit next to Parade. She’s staring at her food but isn’t eating a bite.
“It looks good,” she says moving the meal around in her plate. “And the fish smells great.”
“Baby…You ‘sposed to eat it you know.” I joke.
The kids were at school and baby Ella was at the daycare center because Parade and me really needed this time alone.
“What time does your flight leave?”
“At 6:00 PM…I wanna show Ryan LA and then we headed back home.”
Parade is quiet for about two minutes and she forces some food down and says, “So…when are you coming back? To LA?”
“I’ll be back in a few weeks to get Shantay after this ball I’m walkin’ in is over. Hopefully I’ll win and can earn some money. Then I’m gonna settle down and raise Shantay and I was thinkin’ about buying a house.”
“Really,” she asks with hopefulness in her eyes, “Where you want to buy your house?”
“In Accokeek, Maryland or somethin’. I want to be closer to trees and serenity. And I still haven’t seen my mother. I’m thinkin’ it’s time.”
She smiles and says, “You know it’s been years since you said her name?”
“That’s because it hurts too much to be around her right now. You know her memory is fucked up, but for some reason, she remembers to think that I’m my father. A man she hates.”
“Oh…I’m sorry, Wayne.” She says touching my hand. “I didn’t know it was that bad because you never talk about her.”
“Don’t be sorry, honey. After all the death and despair around me recently, I’m startin’ to realize I can handle anything.”
She sighs.
“But when your mother passes…or if she passes, are you gonna come back to LA then?”
“No, Parade. I don’t think I will. There isn’t anything here for me anymore, girl.”
She slams her fork down on her plate and yells, “Why do you wanna hurt me?! You know I want you and Shantay to be here with me! Daffany is gone and you’re taking yourself and her away from me too? Those faggies mean more to you than I do? I thought I was your family?”
“Parade, this is why I asked Ryan to do some shoppin’ without me today. I wanted to talk to you alone.” I say in a low voice. “Look, I know things have been crazy around here and trust me when I say it’s been hard on me too. I’m so use to cryin’ when I lay down that I haven’t slept in days.”
“I know…I mean…I do understand you lost her too and that you have a life. It’s just that this whole thing is bothering me more. You’re stronger than me, Miss Wayne. You’ve always been.”
“You haven’t been yourself for awhile, Miss Parade. Before Miss Daffany passed you were actin’ like somethin’ heavy was on your mind. You’re angry all the time and you lash out for no reason! Not to mention the fact that you’re so concerned with holdin’ on to me, that you’re destroyin’ your marriage! What the fuck is really goin’ on with you? Talk to me!”
“I don’t know what I’m feeling! I’m confused,” she sobs. “I have a man who couldn’t love me more yet every time I look at him, he reminds me of Sky and I feel like I’m betraying her since she was with him first. And then…and then…” She hesitates.
“What is it, baby? Don’t hold back. Get it out, tell me what’s up!”
“I’ve done something I’m not proud of.” She sobs heavier. “I never shared this with anyone because I forgot all about it until recently. When I found out I was pregnant with Ella…I started having nightmares about my past again. It was like I was remembering things I suppressed deep in my mind that I never wanted to know.”
She pauses and I say, “Go ahead, Parade. Please.”
“I…I…use to sleep with my father, Wayne. When I was younger.” She pauses and wipes her tears. “It stopped when I got into high school but it went on for a long time before that. I think that’s one of the reasons my mother hates me…I wonder…I wonder if she knows. I wonder if she ever walked in on us having sex before.”
“I don’t understand. What do you mean you use to sleep with your father? Do you mean Mr. Knight, raped you?”
“No. I mean…I don’t think so.”
“I’m confused. Did he have a sexual relationship with you or not, Parade?”
“Yes!” she cries. “And I liked it. I liked how he made me tingle and I liked the attention he gave me. I heard of molestation but my father wasn’t the monster I thought molesters were. He was good to me when we were good. But now I’m afraid that the same thing will happen between Ella and Jay. And I’m realizing what we shared was not right.”
Wow.
This explains everything.
Now I understand why she is so clingy and has been rejecting her husband…she’s been a victim of molestation. I put my arms around her and we’re both crying so hard it’s difficult to understand one another.
Somehow I manage to pull away from her grasp and say, “Parade, I don’t care how good it felt, your father took advantage of you. He raped you! He is a fuckin’ bum bitch who took advantage of your sadness. He knew you didn’t have anybody and he used you for your body. And just because it felt good, doesn’t mean you weren’t raped. Some rapes do feel good which is why you’re so fucked up afterwards.”
“No…no,” she said shaking her head. “I said he wasn’t like that.”
“Yes it was like that, baby! You were failed by a man who was supposed to protect you, just like my father failed me. Do you understand that?”
“I…I don’t want that to happen to Ella. I don’t want Jay to hurt my baby girl like my father did me.”
“I’ve looked into Jay’s eyes, Parade. I’ve seen how he looks at you and how he gloats over those kids. That man would never do no shit like that. Give him a chance and let him be there for you and his family.”
She wraps her arms around me tighter. “I thank God for you every time I close my eyes…and this is why.”
“I finally understand why you’re so hurt but I have to tell you somethin’. Parade, you have to realize that rea
l friends don’t grow a part, they just take different paths in life. We aren’t kids anymore on the stoops of our apartment building. You have a beautiful family and I’m tryin’ to get one started of my own one day. But it doesn’t mean I don’t love you.”
“I understand.”
We hug again.
“I can’t believe Miss Daffany is gone,” I say remembering what was more important. “I can’t believe I won’t see her face anymore.”
“Me too. She drove herself to sickness because of worrying about that IRS shit! And a day after she dies, we get the information from your lawyer that we can be put on a payment plan to save our businesses. Had she just held on, things would have been okay.”
“I know but you have to remember, Daffany went from havin’ nothin’ to havin’ everything…and then the IRS came and threatened all that shit. Let’s not forget that just before Shantay was born, she was sellin’ her body for drugs, food and shelter. She was scared of goin’ back to that again. ”
“You’re right,” she says softly. “I guess I never thought about it like that.”
“I understood her reasoning, just wish she understood I had her back, and that it was okay to be loved.”
“What are you going to do with the boutique?”
I sigh and say, “Well, right now the staff is running it pretty well, but when someone makes me an offer I can’t refuse, I’m gonna take it. It reminds me too much of Daffany and I don’t think I can keep it.”
“Let me have it!” Parade suggests.
“You can’t run the apartment building, your houses, the make-up store and my boutique.”
“Sure I can! I can buy it from you by the end of next week. I’ll have my attorney put the paperwork together and everything. Our funds are free now so it’s not a problem anymore.”
“Oh Mercy…Listen at you. You’ll have your attorney put the paperwork together.” I laugh.
“I’m serious.”
“Why do you want to keep the shop?”
“For the opposite reason you want to sell it. Because it reminds me of Daffany and I kinda want to hold on to it.”
When I think of her reasoning, without question, I take the offer.
And then, a totally irrelevant flash of Tyrone being behind me enters my mind again. And then I remember.
Everything.
Reflecting on The Earlier Years
Miss Wayne
Bells came through for Wayne after all, even though he complained the entire. Wayne decided then to contact a lawyer about having power of attorney over Marbel’s finances and body.
The day he put her in the nursing home, he was devastated. He felt like he let her down. But he didn’t…even the doctors told him that there was nothing else he could do.
He was on his way home to grab a few drinks when he got a call from someone he hadn’t heard from in a few years.
“What’s up, bitch? What’s the ‘T’?” Yelled Tyrone into the phone.
“Ain’t shit. Just dealin’.”
“I hear that…what you doin’ right now? Dayshawn and me are havin’ some friends over for our weekly Spades game. You comin’?”
“You live with Day now?”
“Girl, yes! I been livin’ with him for a few months now. What’s up?”
Wayne thought about the offer. The one thing that stayed in his mind was that every time he got with Tyrone and Dayshawn, some crazy shit happened. So he considered his options but realized quickly that he had none. He caught his lover cheating earlier in the week and he threw his ass out on the street. So unless he wanted to be alone, hanging out with them was his only choice.
“I’m on my way.”
“Cool…See you when you get here.”
Wayne wore a cute pair of stretched black tights, a free flowing pink blouse that exposed his chest and a big pair of gold hoop earrings. Since he had just gotten some tracks sewn in, he let his hair hang over his shoulders.
When he walked through the door the house was packed and everyone was in attendance.
“Bitch, you look so good! What’s up with it?” Tyrone said opening the door examining Wayne’s muscular but sexy body.
“It depends on who’s asking,” Wayne told him as he struck a pose in the doorway.
“I heard that, sashay your skinny ass in here.”
Wayne walked inside and jumped right into the Spades game, and five minutes later, the animation began. All of the lights were dimmed with the exception of the ones that were in kitchen and in an ardent way, it acted as the spotlight for their loud and rambunctious performances. It was always about who talked the loudest and who had the best comeback. If you were weak at heart, the Friday night Spades game was not the place for you.
“OOOhhh, Bitch, they cuttin’ early, I shoooow hope I don’t see no hearts fly out them monkey paws for the rest of this hand!” Dayshawn yelled at Wayne who had partnered up with Tyrone.
“Monkey paws? Okay, Bitch, you must be referrin’ to the gorilla toes attached to those petite size 18 feet of yours! I don’t even know how you find sandals for ‘em.” Miss. Wayne snapped back.
“Miss Wayne, baby, don’t worry. I’m watchin’ her ass. You know Dayshawn is famous for being a re-nigga-a!” Tyrone said.
“LIES…I ain’t neva reneged in a game of spades in my life…unless you count last week,” he recollected. “But Bitch, you can’t count that game ‘cause I was rollin’ and I thought we was playin’ go fish. Ha…ha…honey, the X and the Dro had the ole girl done, baby…yeousss!!!” Dayshawn laughed as his breath meshed with the alcoholic frenzy within the room.
Spades was just one of the ways Wayne, Dayshawn and Tyrone passed time with other people in the life. Being amongst people who did the same things and talked the same way they did brought a sense of normalcy to their lives. And with his mother’s condition, which he rarely talked about, being worst, he really needed the getaway. Food was cooking, drinking glasses were clinking and shit talking was at an all time high.
There were so many people in the house that some of them found a seat on the lap of another. And no one cared because when you’re Family, everything was all good.
As the night went on, liquor poured like it came out of a faucet and suddenly, Miss Wayne felt woozy.
“You okay?” Tyrone asked noticing him swaying. He placed his hand on his shoulder. “Cause you don’t look too good.”
“Uh…yeah…I think so. I had a long day though with my mother. I guess I’m more tired than I thought.”
“You wanna rest up?” Dayshawn asked him.
“Ya’ll mind? All I need is an hour am I’m ready to keep the party goin’.”
“Yeah it’s not a problem,” Dayshawn said. “You know my home is your home.”
“Let me give you some pain medicine and some water and you can stay in my room.” Said Tyrone.
Wayne took the pills, walked past the people who were socializing and laid down in Tyrone’s bed. Once his head hit the cushion, he felt even more off balance. Tyrone helped him get situated in the bed and said, “Damn, it looks like you had way too much to drink this time, Wayne. You sure you gonna be okay?”
“Yeah. I’ll be fine. I don’t even remember drinkin’ that much.”
“I’m gonna go back out there. But let me know if you need anything…okay?”
“Yeah…just leave the door…”
Wayne felt light headed and could not complete his sentence. Through a mental haze he saw Tyrone smile at him slyly, close and lock the door and flip the light switch off. Two minutes later, Tyrone had turned him over on his stomach and was entering him anally. Wayne could hear him panting heavily in his ear as he gripped his shoulders and thrust into him over and over again.
“You feel so good, Wayne,” Tyrone said. “This ass all soft and wet. Just like I knew it would be.”
Tyrone talked to him as if Wayne was a willing participant when in actuality, he was a victim of a drug-induced rape. He tried to fight him off, but his body wouldn�
�t do what his mind requested. He had no idea that Tyrone had been planting drugs in his drink all night.
Ever since Tyrone met Wayne, he wanted him sexually. He loved the lightness of his skin and the way he walked around like he owned the world. But part of him was jealous that Wayne garnered so much attention. Tyrone wished he could be as smooth as Wayne but felt he could never measure up. So since he couldn’t be him, he decided to take the next best thing, his body. And that’s exactly what he did.
The next morning, Wayne would not remember the event.
But that would all change many years later.
Top Flight
Miss Wayne
We had thirty minutes before we boarded the plane and there were three things that were blowing the hell out of me. First, my best friend was gone and I missed her already. Second, Ryan’s cell phone kept ringing off the hook and he wouldn’t answer. Third, the memory of Tyrone being anywhere near my body made me want to cut everything back there off.
Was the vision real? Or was it bullshit? I couldn’t call it! And then I remember how Big Boody Brandy claimed that everyone knew Miss Tyrone raped people. Could he have done the same thing to me too?
I had an idea on how I was going to deal with Tyrone and I call it ‘Operation Hole Dig’ but I wasn’t sure how I was going to deal with Ryan and his ringin’ ass phone because after all…he wasn’t my man. And to tell you the truth, he hadn’t even asked me out let alone elude that he wanted more. Even though he stayed with me for two weeks in LA and we shared the same bed together, at no time did he try to touch me. So I guess I’m being petty right? Fuck that shit! I still wants to know.
When he wasn’t looking I concocted a plan to find out what kind of nigga he really was. So the moment he turned away, I removed the SIM card from my AT&T phone.