With luck, Aila’s claim that she’d be gone by morn would prove true and he could regain the focus that had driven him thus far.
He ignored the pang of regret roused by the thought of her leaving.
Just as he brushed off the surge of gladness that overcame him when he climbed the stairs to the nursery and discovered Aila there.
The clouds parted, allowing a single ray of sunlight to beam through the window and cast its light upon her. As if to draw his eyes, remind him of her beauty…or underscore her outlandish claim from the previous evening of the certain sort of ray of sunshine she considered herself. He needed no such assistance and couldn’t help but admire the way her long ginger locks, freed from their pinnings to hang in a long plait down her back, shone like copper in the light. Or how shorter wisps clung to her temples and traced the curve of her jaw. Or how her eyes caught the light with sapphire brilliance.
She wore a simpler gown today. A light wool overdress printed with umber and periwinkle floral with an underskirt of ivory. Her fichu was securely in place once again. A small blessing for his sanity, though her slim ankles were exposed as she sat cross-legged on the floor with his children reviewing the tricks in her dog’s repertoire.
“Sit, sit, sit!” Effie giggled with delight when the animal did just that.
“Lie down,” Niall cut in, adding before the feat had even been accomplished, “Shake!”
“Ye have to give him time to do one before the other,” Aila chided, though not unkindly. “Be patient.”
Ian’s nursemaid, Jean, grumbled from where she sat with Fergus. It appeared she was attempting to force a morning meal down the throat of a toddler who’d much rather be playing on the floor with the others. “They’ve been at it all night.”
Finn, too, had been at something all night. Clearly he was far more pleased by the manner in which his had been spent. And with whom he had spent it. He watched Aila as she ruffled the shepherd’s ears in a playful fashion until he rolled over to present his belly. The three of them gave him the affection he was looking for while the dog’s tongue lolled merrily. Then with a sudden jerk, Rab flipped back on to his feet. His wary attention devoted to Finn as he strolled into the room. Aila turned to him as well, the modest blush on her cheeks a sharp contrast to the caution in her eyes. He wondered at the reason for it.
“Good morning.” Her color heightened even more at his quiet greeting. Nose quivering, Rab inched forward and Finn pinned the dog with a look. “Heel.”
Promptly, the dog circled to Aila’s side and plopped its rear down, ears at attention.
“A well-trained beast.”
“He comes when called.”
There was an inkling of mockery in her tone, enough to suggest that the dog wasn’t the only beast she referred to, and once again that rise of amusement that had been missing for so long in his life sprang to his lips.
* * *
No drug could provide a high to match the euphoria his smile provided. The impact struck Aila with all the force of the last she’d seen from him. Like a kick in the gut without the painful side effects. Which wasn’t to say the force of it was any less brutal.
Memories of their long evening together bore a similar punch.
She couldn’t imagine what she’d been thinking.
While Aila was no prude, she wasn’t given to casual sex. Especially with a man she hardly knew. However, instantaneous attraction was a rare thing, and lust, in her experience, was fleeting…as was her time here. If she’d ever wanted to recklessly indulge herself, this was her moment. She wasn’t fool enough to pass it up when the opportunity presented itself.
Nay, as stunning as it had been, it wasn’t the sex that troubled her.
When he’d swooped her up into his arms, pressed every inch of her against his rock-hard chest and rock-hard…. Nay, even then she’d had some presence of mind to know what she was about.
When he’d kissed her…that was when she’d lost her head.
Twenty-seven years of being too confident for her own good, she’d done some impetuous things in her life, but nothing like that. For the first time, she’d lost every iota of inhibition and good sense.
And leapt headlong into the fire without a second thought.
Aila would have thought herself experienced enough not to become so thoroughly dazzled by a man, no matter how overwhelming he was. She’d been called the same by a number of the men she’d dated in the past. Overwhelming. Intimidating. Smart, capable, blah, blah, blah. The very things that attracted men to her often tended to frighten them off again. Most of them before they ever approached the subject of sex.
More than one decidedly underwhelming Tinder date had ended with some version of the guy admitting that, while he’d love to shag her, he couldn’t see himself in a relationship with a woman “like” her. Aila translated that as a woman with more balls than any of them. The tossers hadn’t even been smart enough to put off this announcement until after they shagged her.
Then somehow got pissed when she wouldn’t.
That tendency had left her with a sex life punctuated by frustration and disappointment. There’d been a couple of one-night stands — one night due to the aforementioned problems — and a handful of relationships of varying lengths, with Kyle and his lack of imagination being the longest. Not one of them had ever induced her to throw caution and common sense to the wind.
Perhaps it was because they didn’t make men like Finn in her time. If they did, she’d never met one. Finn bore an elusive quality even Brontë’s new beau for all his masculinity and gentlemanly manner didn’t possess. Unsurpassed magnetism. Virility? A primeval appeal that drew on the primitive urge to propagate the species?
Nay, it was something Aila couldn’t quite put a name to.
All she knew was that Finn Keeley drove her to a place where wit and wisdom abandoned her. Gah, she’d sent an entire box of condoms into the past with Brontë, however it had never occurred to Aila she’d have need of even one during her historic holiday. Much less many. In the heat of the moment with Finn, it had never even crossed her mind. She’d had unprotected sex for the first time in her life!
And it had been magnificent.
Finn had made love to her for hours…to her entire body. There wasn’t an inch that had been spared from his touch, from his lips. From his tongue. Aila shivered at the recollection. In the darkness without the sight of him to distract her, she’d been lost to pure sensation. The delicious friction of his massive body against hers. Taking her. Consuming her.
Fulfilling her again and again, each climax more powerful than the last.
She’d never imagined being lost amid an inferno of lust and madness.
She’d also never imagined how difficult it would be to look a man in the eye after shamelessly begging for him, pleading for more.
So much for her vaunted boldness now. She’d become a puddle of bashfulness under Finn’s thorough regard.
“I see ye decided to stay and take me up on my offer.”
Aila frowned. Her train of thought and his were clearly on diversely divergent tracks. Becoming his children’s nanny hadn’t figured into the delay in her departure. In fact, it had been her plan to retrieve her dog and flee before he woke to avoid this moment. Yet somehow, she’d seized the weakest excuse to stay. One “Mistress Marshall, look! Rab knows how to sit!” had been all it took to give in. Just so that she might see Finn one last time.
To see if he had any regrets.
Because for all her self-consciousness, she hadn’t a one.
“Ye’re mistaken, Mr. Keeley.” She rose to her feet and made a show of dusting off her skirts, acutely aware of the return of the Furrow of Fury at her formal address. As she’d spent a good portion of the night crying out, “Finn, Finn, Finn!” like a bloody mantra, Aila could understand his bewilderment. Fine by her, she didn’t understand him one whit either. “I have no’ changed my mind. I merely came to fetch Rab and to say goodbye.”
&nb
sp; Niall and Effie both howled in protest. Niall ran to his father and hung off one of Finn’s legs begging him to make her stay. Effie flung her arms around Rab, pinning him to the ground under her with a pitiful wail. Aila ignored them. As did Finn. His eyes shifted from her to her trunk not far away and back to her.
“Ye’re leaving?”
“Ye should consider my refusal a kindness.” Aila moved to her luggage, forcing a smile for Jean, who observed their interaction with wide eyes while absently spoon-feeding Fergus’s ear. “I ken nothing about caring for children.”
She hefted the trunk and turned, only to find Finn a foot away. He took the baggage from her and planted it back at her feet. “They dinnae need to be cared for, lass. They merely need a weather eye upon them to assure they come to nae harm.”
Jean snorted at that.
Aila merely shook her head. Not a care for her qualifications. No interrogations over her experience in early childhood development, no demands for samples of daily schedules including a well-rounded curriculum of educational activities combined with physical exercise. Aila had a preschool teacher friend with a master’s degree who couldn’t do enough to satisfy helicopter parents. Funny that a weather eye was Finn’s sole requirement for his children. It was a nice throwback to another era gone by when kids were allowed to be kids. To roam free, roughhouse, and even scrape a knee or elbow in the name of good fun.
If she weren’t so put out by his presumption, she might have been amused. She picked up the case again. “I appreciate yer clarification; however, I have neither the desire nor the weather eye required to accept.”
With a roll of his eyes, Finn snatched the trunk out of her hands. “Ye are eminently qualified for the level of effort necessary to supervise their play. Simply ensure their good health and all will be well.”
“I think no’.” Aila reached for the trunk again only to engage in a ridiculous bit of tug-of-war with him.
“That bit of baggage has become the singular amusement in my life,” Ian announced as he strode into the room. Aila released her hold, gratified to see Finn stumble a step before finding his footing.
The trunk found a spot on the floor once more.
“Mr. Keeley,” she ground out, aware of the five pairs of eyes glued to them. “May I speak with ye a moment in the hall?”
A muscle jumped in Finn’s cheek before he offered a stiff bow and swept an arm toward the door. “Excuse us, please.”
He trailed her out the door, a warm tantalizing shadow she hurried to distance herself from. A dozen steps down the hall, she heard the door shut with a thud and turned to confront him. Finn hooked an arm around her waist and pressed her back against the wall. His lips caught hers with all the fury and frustration that welled up in her.
She tore her mouth away before she surrendered to the whirlwind of passion that so readily threatened. “If ye think this will end up as it did before, ye have another thing coming.”
Chapter 12
If he were honest, Finn would admit that he wasn’t thinking at all. Pinning her sweet lithe body up against a wall for the second time in as many days had been the last thing on his mind when he’d followed her out of the nursery. Alas, the manner in which she walked — that purposeful stride softened by a sensual sway of her hips — had the same effect they’d had the previous night. As much as he enjoyed the view, he’d have to make a point of walking by her side or lead the way in the future.
If she were to stay.
For the life of him, he couldn’t imagine what compelled her to leave. Nor could he understand why he was so dead set on making her stay. He’d be far better off if she left. His body rebelled at the thought, but he knew it to be the truth. Her very presence made a muddle of his mind and sent logic to the winds. She tested his self-control and left him feeling rather testy with her and himself. He hardly recognized himself. In the past twenty-four hours he’d become a thoroughly unlikeable human being. Was it any wonder Aila wanted to leave him behind?
“Ye’re the most maddening lass.” Fully aware that the arch of her body against his and the way her fingers curling in his hair delivered a message contrary to her words, he lowered his mouth to her neck. Unable to stop himself, his lips teased at the sensitive spot he’d discovered the previous night that was guaranteed to reduce her to a puddle of desire.
What was he doing? Hadn’t he awoken resolute in his opinion that it would be best for her to leave? She wanted to go. “Stay.”
Her chin brushed against his ear as she shook her head. “I will no’ do…oh —” with a gasp, she angled her head farther to the side “—something simply because it’s the traditional role for a woman.”
Finn nipped at her earlobe with a growl. Whether it was due to the way she aroused him or a grumble at their combined contrariness, he had no idea. “’Tis an honorable position. No’ a blow to yer womanhood. Stay.”
“Nay.”
“Blast it, lass.” Lifting his head, he stared down at her. Her cheeks were flushed with passion, eyes rather hazy. Her lush lips reddened by his kiss. He’d never had the simultaneous urge to shake a woman and make love to her. Maddening was an understatement. “Nae one, myself included, would think any less of ye for accepting honest work. Nae more than I think less of ye for taking me to yer bed.”
“Finn, I willnae…” Her words trailed off and her dazed expression hardened as her brows snapped together. “I beg yer pardon? Did ye just belittle me for shagging ye?”
“What? Nay. I said I dinnae think any less of ye.”
“Then why would ye mention it in the first place?”
At a loss for an appropriate response, Finn stared down at her in hopes of enlightenment as to the reason for her ire. His inability to produce the proper words riled her even more.
She struggled in his loose embrace until he released her and pointed a finger at his chest. “Let me ask ye, why has it ever been acceptable for a man to be gantin’ a poke or pump with any random female but even when a woman has a genuine desire for a man she loses any chance at respectability?” Aila spun around like a tempest and walked away from him. “Why am I still here? It’s like living in the middle ages, as if reality were no’ biased enough.”
“Och, lass. Did ye no’ hear me? I said I dinnae—” Finn took a step toward her only to have her whirl about again.
Losh, she was resplendent in a temper, flushed with becoming color and her brogue more pronounced. While he couldn’t pinpoint the precise misstep that had garnered him such a reaction, he’d have to find a way to antagonize her again.
If she were to stay.
“This, so ye are aware —” she gestured back and forth between them “— is an anomaly. Practically a freak of nature. No’ how I normally go about things, I’ll have ye know.” She poked a finger at his chest. “Even so, I wisnae sorry for it. And I’ll no’ be apologizing or be disparaged for taking a bit of indulging that desire.”
A grin jerked at Finn’s lips. A grin inappropriate to the mood and most likely to the moment, however there’d been a clear admission in there regarding the pleasure she’d taken in their lovemaking. Whatever else she interpreted in his words, he’d deal with later.
“What are ye laughing at? I’m serious.”
She spun around and strode to the window at the end of the corridor with a trail of muttered profanities left behind like breadcrumbs. He followed them as readily as a hungry bird. Her arms wrapped tight around her body and her shoulders lifted before dropping with a sigh.
“My apologies. All of that? It’s no’ really directed at ye.” Her gaze flicked up to him, blue as the sky winking out from the clouds through the window. “My therapist would be appalled.”
Her lips compressed into a thin line. A moment later, they trembled. Her anger was gone. In fact, it now appeared as though she was withholding a smile. He rather wished she wouldn’t. He’d love to see her soften with… He shook his head to rid himself of the fantasy. Better he focus on business, primarily
the business that had brought him to Inveraray and how to accomplish his goals in short order.
What had she said again? “Yer what?”
“The special person I talk with about my feelings. Ye’d like her.” Her lips quirked and against his better judgement, he held his breath. Another sigh and her lips softened, but not into the anticipated smile. “Gah, I couldnae be in a worse place considering my issues.”
“Ye’re intent on leaving then?”
For the best, again he scolded the part of him that groaned with regret.
“I shou—”
Aila’s head cocked to one side, rotating ever so slightly as she stared out the window. Finn tried to follow her line of sight to see what had caught her attention, however he saw nothing out of order among the bustle in the bailey below.
“I beg ye to reconsider.” Finn’s scolding turned inward, prepared to stifle the upstart impulse that spoke out of turn. “If only because my children enjoy playing with yer dog.” The contrary bent carried on unchecked. “Effie especially has been withdrawn since her mother’s passing. ’Tis nice to see her smile.”
“Fine. I’ll do it.”
Her abrupt agreement both confused and gladdened…and irked him. “Ye will?”
“A weather eye. Nothing more.”
* * *
“Circle ’round, Niall!” Aila called in a vain attempt to keep the lad from running out of sight. Again. The children didn’t need a watchful eye, they needed a bloody leash. They ran, they climbed, they somersaulted with more vigor than any children she’d ever encountered. Given her confessed inexperience, her knowledge was based on her own childhood and frankly, in defense of her own time, most playtime as she knew it was organized into team sports supervised by a designated adult and the rest was spent glued to a screen of some sort. She had no idea how to curb such boundless energy. Thankfully, Niall looped around for the third time now with Rab hot on his heels, yowling like an elated hound on the hunt.
A Good Scot is Hard to Find (Something About a Highlander Book 2) Page 10