Olivia closed her eyes. “When was this?”
“Five years ago.”
“You and I weren’t there, though, Selena. What she wanted and what he said – they’re the only two people who will ever know. And it has little bearing on my relationship with Tamir.”
“Don’t you get it? He loved her. He loved her, but he didn’t realise it. He went to her, to apologise, the next night.” Selena sucked in a deep breath. “He’s the one who found her.”
“Found her?” Olivia whispered, her fingers shaking wildly in her lap.
“An overdose of cocaine.”
Olivia shuddered. “That’s terrible. I’m so sorry, Selena. To lose your friend like that…”
“It was Tamir’s fault.”
Olivia looked at her hands. “I’m not going to get involved. It has nothing to do with me.”
Selena’s smile was deranged by cruelty. She pulled her phone out of her handbag and loaded up a photograph. “Doesn’t it?”
Olivia hesitated for a moment, then took the phone and looked down at it. She could have been staring at her own reflection, except she’d never worn quite as much make up, and never worn a dress such as this.
“Who is this?”
“Marni.” Selena’s tone was victorious. “Tamir doesn’t love you, Olivia. He doesn’t look at you and see you. He sees Marni, and redemption.”
Olivia felt sick. She pushed the phone away and stood up, moving to stare at the golf course. Her eyes were blurred though, her head spinning. She wanted to deny it, but it made so much sense. What other explanation was there, for the way he’d pursued her so obsessively? Why he’d fought to bring her to Talidar?
She closed her eyes and moaned softly. “I’d like to be alone now.”
“Sure.” Selena shrugged, drained her coffee cup and rose to standing. Her dark eyes narrowed. “I’m so glad we had this chat.”
Olivia didn’t turn around. She waited until she’d heard the door to her private apartment being closed, and then sobbed. None of it made any sense. She turned around and looked at the table, and saw only Marni’s face. Marni’s eyes. Marni’s smile. Marni who had loved Tamir, and been hurt by him. Hurt enough to take her own life!
Olivia pushed angrily through the doors, and stared around the room with no clear idea what she ought to do. Her first instinct was to run, but she had no idea how to do that. Though their relationship had developed into so much more than that of prisoner and captor, she was still effectively in his clutches. It wasn’t as if she could simply book a flight home. Besides, when she thought of Tamir, she knew she had to see him. One last time. To let him try to explain.
She showered slowly, and dressed with care. When he returned from his business trip, she would confront him. And she would make her decisions based on the answers he could give her.
* * *
His need to see Olivia was an actual physical requirement. It controlled him. It caused him to conclude his meetings far earlier than he should have. It brought him home in his helicopter, and straight to their palace bedroom. She was not there. He frowned, as he scanned the room, and his eyes fell on the emptiness of their sanctuary.
He inhaled her scent, and it brought a smile to his face.
“Sir, Her Highness is waiting for you in your office.”
“My office?” He frowned as he turned on his heel and stalked across the palace. Why his office? Why not where he wanted her? Where he could be alone with her?
He pushed the heavy door inwards, ignoring the servant who would have done it for him. Olivia was sitting on the edge of his desk, staring out towards the window. She was wearing a simple black dress, with a pale gold scarf. Her hair was pulled back in a loose plait.
He wanted to pull her into his arms.
He crossed the room, but the rigid set of her features made him pause.
“Olivia?” He asked quietly, instead pressing a chaste kiss against her cheek.
She swallowed. Nervous tension was a bundle in her chest. “We need to talk.”
He disguised his frown. “Of course. I trust you are well?”
She made a strangled noise of dissent and flapped her hand to her throat. Where to begin? She closed her eyes briefly, and then stared straight into his dark and solicitous gaze. “Were you ever going to tell me about Marni?”
He straightened, as though a rod of metal had been injected into his spine. “No. Why should I? She is nothing to us.”
Olivia made a noise of disbelief. “She’s everything to do with us. She’s the reason you married me. The reason you brought me here.”
Tamir managed to contain his reaction with the greatest of difficulties. “Your information is flawed.”
“I saw for myself. My God, Tamir. I look just like her.”
Tamir had an odd sense that his grip on the situation was being wrested from his hand. “You do not.”
“Selena showed me a picture. No wonder you pursued me so aggressively.”
He grabbed her hands and squeezed them in his, reassuringly. Promisingly. “Marni was the farthest person from my mind that night. It was all you, Olivia.”
“Don’t keep lying to me!” She stomped her foot angrily. “I saw her.” She closed her eyes, and the image of Marni flashed behind her eyelids. “Were you disappointed when I got here and you saw my hair was curly, and not straight as hers?”
He groaned. “That is ridiculous. I never once thought of you as Marni, until Selena remarked on the likeness. Yes, you have blonde hair, and the same coloring. Your eyes are similar. Even your smiles, in some ways, but I approached you at the theatre because I couldn’t keep my eyes off you. It was your happiness and joy; the way you watched the performance with your whole body. You were the most beautiful person I’d ever seen. Marni did not enter the equation.”
Olivia wanted to believe him. So badly, she wanted to think that there was something real between them. But it flew in the face of everything sensible she knew to be true. “Do you expect me to believe that you married me after less than two days just because I enjoyed watching the orchestra?” Her tone was rich with scorn. “It doesn’t make sense! It doesn’t add up. If the last month has taught me anything, it’s that you just aren’t that spontaneous. Nor are you inherently risk-taking. Our marriage makes no sense. Unless you allow for the fact that I reminded you so strongly of Marni.”
Tamir’s gut clenched with uncertainty and panic. Two emotions that were completely foreign to him. “Selena had no business planting this doubt inside of you.”
“You should have told me yourself,” she chastised, stepping away from him.
“But it is not relevant.”
Olivia pulled a face. “You don’t believe that.”
“I do not wish to discuss it,” he said finally. “I have thought of you all day. Let us go for a walk in the gardens.” He reached out and took her hand in his, but she pulled it away. “Let us walk and forget this idiocy.”
“No! You can’t pretend this isn’t important.”
He sighed, and dug his hands into his pockets. “Your feelings on the matter are obviously important, but they are likewise unfounded.”
She sucked in a deep breath. “Did you love her?”
Tamir reached up and cupped her face. “No,” he whispered. “But I was… affected when she died.”
Olivia shook her head. “None of this makes any sense.”
“Stop thinking so much. This last month has been idyllic. Better than I could have anticipated. Is that not enough for you, Azeezi?”
She shook her head. It wasn’t. Because it was almost perfect. Almost, but not quite. She wanted everything. Not just the shadow of a dream. The whole dream. All to herself.
“You’ve lied to me,” she said numbly.
“How? How have I lied to you?”
Her temper flared. “You lied by omission. You must have known I would learn about Marni.”
He shrugged, as though it were of no importance. “I suspected you would, one d
ay, discover that I had dated a woman, many years ago, who had blonde hair. As for the similarities, they are superficial. I see beyond that. I see Olivia Anderson.”
She walked across the office, her spine straight and her head held high. “I can’t do this anymore.”
Her words were like small stones, being pelted against a thin pane of glass. His worst fears were being voiced, and now she would discover the truth. Was he of a strong enough character to sacrifice his own desires to make her happy?
He walked across to her and put his hands on her shoulders. She was tense. He wanted to pull her against him, but he knew it would only be a temporary solution. “Even if I tell you that I want you to stay here, with me?”
She shook her head. She had to leave him, and it would be better for them both if he didn’t see her heartbreak. A part of her was dying, but she needed to be strong. “I married you because you threatened to prosecute my friend if I didn’t. Can I assume that threat is now removed?”
Tamir had a feeling that ice was being shelved about his heart. He stood at his maximum height. “Of course.”
She turned to face him. “Would you really have done it? Would you really have had Jack brought to Talidar and tried as a criminal?”
His mouth was a grim line. “I don’t know.” He said, finally; his voice gravelly. “I just knew I couldn’t let you leave. His theft gave me an opportunity. I exploited it.”
Olivia couldn’t believe the words she was about to utter. “Will you let me go now?”
The air around them seemed to crackle with nervous anticipation. Tamir’s dark eyes raked her face, his skin was pale beneath his tan. “Is that really what you want, Azeezi?”
No! But she couldn’t stay married to him in these circumstances. “I always told you that I couldn’t be in a loveless marriage.” Her voice cracked, but she didn’t look away from him. “Don’t you understand? I have to go.”
“Is that what this is?” He asked, searching her face.
Damn it, he knew! He could read her like a book. How could she not love him? She had given herself so freely; she had made it obvious that she would forgive him anything and everything. She closed her eyes against the pain and embarrassment. The nauseatingly weak position she had let herself be manoeuvred into. Then again, who would not fall in love with a man like Tamir?
She held her breath, every bone in her body wobbling in anticipation of his response. “Are you going to let me leave?”
Tamir shook his head slowly, from one side to the other. It was his worst nightmare. He had no desire to hold Olivia as a prisoner. And yet he had no means with which to keep her by his side. Not if she truly wanted to go. “I cannot keep you here against your will. I never would have, Olivia.” He put his finger beneath her chin. “I know I pressured you into coming to Talidar. I truly believed you would be glad, in time. That you just couldn’t accept that you wanted me the way you do.”
He was right. She had been grateful, and had become that way so quickly. So fast it made her head spin. How had she fallen for him? Despite the way he’d bullied her into his life, she had absolutely lost her heart to him.
“So you’re saying I wasn’t truly your prisoner?”
He dipped his head forward, and pressed his lips lightly to hers. “No more than I am yours.”
She frowned. His kiss, his scent, his nearness. It was intoxicating. She sobbed silently. “I have to go.”
“You do not have to do anything.”
She lifted her hands to his broad chest. She could feel his rhythmic breathing beneath her palms. The beating of his heart. Steady and unmoved, it thumped solidly and slowly. His heart was not touched by her. Not in the way hers was.
She blinked. He was wrong.
Leaving was essential. Both to her survival and her sanity. “Will you contact me about a divorce?”
He shifted his weight from one leg to the other. He had sworn that he would tell her. That night. That he would be honest with her. But the perfect moment had approached, and passed him by.
“I will handle the logistics.” He lifted her hand to his mouth. He wanted… he couldn’t have said. He only knew that he didn’t want this.
“Olivia… letting you go is difficult for me. Please understand that it is a sign of how I feel about you that I am allowing you to leave me.”
Her heart turned over. Was it enough? Would it one day be enough for her that he wanted her there, even if he didn’t ever love her?
It couldn’t be.
If she only loved him less.
She ran her thumb over his lips, then stepped away. “I really am sorry. About Marni.”
His gut clenched. “Don’t apologise to me, Azeezi.”
As he watched Olivia walk away, he wondered desperately how he could stop her. Legally, she was his subject, and he was in command of all he surveyed. But not her. He couldn’t do it to her.
He pushed the door to his office shut, and forced himself to refocus. A month ago, he hadn’t known she existed. He had lived without her just fine. He could do it again. Couldn’t he?
Of course he could. He was Sultan Tamir Al’ani, and no one: woman, man or baby, could humble him. He had been born to rule, and he would continue to do so, until the day he died. With or without Olivia Anderson.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
“I can’t possibly have another one,” she groaned, eyeing off the tequila shot dubiously.
Jack pushed it towards her. “Come on. I can still see tears in your eyes. Bottoms up, girl.”
She grimaced, but lifted the yellow liquid to her lips. She hesitated at first, then threw it back in one swift motion. It burned the whole way down, causing Olivia to blink and shake her head. “Phwooaaar, that’s disgusting.”
Jack nodded. “You get used to it after a while. How many’s that?”
Olivia eyed off the empty glasses. “Three. Three too many,” she grimaced.
“Enough to accept my apology?”
She eyed him thoughtfully, her green eyes shining in his face. “You know I don’t need you to apologise. I understand you better than anyone.”
“I was an arse, babe. I should never have gone with you that day. I knew it would be too tempting.”
She nodded, stretching her mouth to deal with the unfamiliar and astringent taste of almost pure alcohol. “You shouldn’t have come. But I understand that you’re not a thief, Jack.”
He grimaced. “If you hadn’t saved me, I’d probably be rotting in some foreign prison.”
She nodded again. “More than likely.”
“Thank you.”
Olivia didn’t know what to say. My pleasure? Well, in the end, it certainly had been. In the two weeks since she’d returned from Liya, she’d barely had a moment without her memories being tortured by thoughts of Tamir. His body had controlled hers effortlessly, making her shake and tremble with a single look alone.
“How’s your mother?” Jack asked quietly, running his finger around the rim of a shot glass.
“Amazing.” Olivia’s grin was genuine, and it transformed her face completely. “She’s like a different person now. I mean, more like the mum I remember. Her new doctor is working wonders.”
“At least that’s a silver lining.”
“Yes.” She nodded. One of many. For though she missed him so much it made her ill, she would never wish away her time with Tamir.
“And you? You aren’t really pining for your foreign prince, are you?”
Olivia dropped her gaze. “I… No. Not pining exactly. It’s hard to explain.”
“Sounds like we need more drinks.”
“No.” She held her forearms in a cross formation. “No more drinks. I can’t possibly.”
“Yes. I’m getting you to the point where you can no longer speak. It’s Friday night, you’re young, footloose and fancy-free. Start acting like it.”
She watched him walk away and called after him, helplessly, “Some nachos too, then, Jack!”
He waved a hand in the
air by way of acknowledgement.
Mexican food after work should have been some tacos and a glass of wine. Instead, they’d worked their way through a quarter of a bottle of tequila already, and more was on the way. Still. If it helped her achieve a single night’s sleep without dreams of Tamir, then she would drink whatever Jack put in front of her. It wasn’t wise, but God, she was sick of missing a man who would never return her love.
“You know,” Jack said, as he slid into the seat next to Olivia and handed her a shot. “I don’t understand the appeal, myself.”
“The appeal?” She asked, throwing the drink back without looking at him. She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand.
“Yeah. Of the man-mountain. Tamir.’
“Oh.” Her cheeks flushed.
“I mean, sure. He’s got that tall, dark and handsome thing going for him. But he’s not charming and blonde like I am.” He grinned. “And he doesn’t have my sense of humour.”
“Nor your penchant for petty-theft,” she responded with a tight smile.
He shrugged. “Sounds absolutely boring. So what is it?”
She chewed on her bottom lip, distracting Jack with the way her white teeth moved over the pink flesh. “I love him.”
“You… love him? Oh, Jeez, Liv. You hardly know him.”
She ran a hand through her blonde hair. She’d had it chopped off, the day after leaving Tamir. A traumatic reaction to their separation, undoubtedly. She’d asked the hairdresser to cut it short all over, but perhaps understanding that Olivia would regret it, the stylist had refused, and instead sculpted it into a shoulder length style. It was wild about her pretty face, a complete contrast to the sleek royal styles her attendants had arranged each morning. She teased it with her fingers and focussed her gaze on Jack. He was slightly blurry around the edges, a sure fire sign that she should quit drinking.
She reached for another shot glass and cradled it in her palm. “I can’t explain it. There’s just something between us. Like I’d been waiting for him all my life. I totally understand how crazy that must seem to you, but it’s how I feel.”
He lifted a shot glass to his lips and tossed it back. “You’re right. It does sound crazy.”
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