“That was the drugs talking. You were confused.”
Marcus hooted. “I’ll say. Ha. My brother, Bond. James Bond.”
Andy flipped a page. “Shut up, you.”
“For your information,” Marcus said in a superior tone, “Bond’s British. He’s with the MI-6, not the CIA.”
Andy blew a loud raspberry. “Nobody likes a know-it-all, dude.”
“That’s enough, you two.” Claudia stifled a smile. Since she knew their ragging on each other was just their way of showing brotherly affection, she couldn’t bring herself to be too severe.
Aaron stepped into the room, then hesitated when he saw Claudia. “Oh. Hello.”
“Hello,” she murmured. Lifting her purse from a chair, she said “I’m just going to step out for a bit.”
“Don’t let me run you off,” he said, his voice stiff.
“No. It’s nothing like that,” she lied. It hurt too much, being in the same room with Aaron after their bitter blow-up. They’d been so close to reconnecting before their dreams had all tumbled down like a child’s building blocks. When they were most frightened for Andy, they’d leaned on each other for support. Now that he was recovering, they did their best to avoid each other.
In spite of her discomfort, Claudia couldn’t miss the look her sons exchanged. “Mom, don’t go,” Andy said.
Marcus added “Yeah. Stay. I’ll leave if you’re worried about the rules.” The official rules were no more than two family members in ICU at the same time, but the staff had kindly turned a blind eye to earlier lapses. Now playing the stickler gave Claudia the perfect excuse to avoid her ex.
“I have to get back, anyway.” Get back where? She had no place special to go. Stretching her mouth into a smile that felt decidedly plastic, she said “Have fun visiting with your dad.”
Her throat tightened as she slipped past Aaron, careful not to brush against him. He pressed himself back against the wall, clearly just as anxious not to touch her in any way. Claudia blinked back tears as she hurried down the corridor to the elevator.
Chapter 15
Aaron didn’t miss the way Claudia shrank past him on her way out of the room. She can’t even stand to touch me…
It had been weeks now since Andy had woken up. And weeks since Aaron and Claudia had stopped speaking. They could barely look at each other after their brutal argument. They’d slashed each other viciously, flinging blame, but Claudia had rendered the cruelest cut of all—reminding him of the worst day of his life. The day he’d put his sons’ lives in danger.
How old had the boys been then? Andy couldn’t have been more than eight and Marcus ten…
“Dad. Dad. Hey, Dad,” Andy called from the back seat of the SUV. “Can we go to the motocross rally? It looks awesome. I seen it on TV. Please, can we go?”
“You saw it, not seen.”
“Yeah, okay. But can we?”
“I don’t know, bud. I told your mom we’re going to the movies.” In spite of his answer, Aaron had to admit the motocross event was tempting. It sounded a lot more appealing than sitting through some G-rated kids’ film. But Claudia wouldn’t approve. She’d think it too loud, too crowded and would get the boys too wound up.
“Aw, please?” Andy put some extra whine in his voice. “I don’t want to see that dumb old movie, anyways. It’s for babies.”
Aaron glanced in the rear-view mirror at his older son. “Well, what do you say, Marcus? Should we check out the rally?”
Marcus’ forehead crumpled. “I don’t know. Will Mom get mad?”
Probably, Aaron thought sourly. It was too bad, the way she wanted to coddle the kids. She was so worried about their safety, she barely let them have any fun. Heck, he cared about that too. It wasn’t like he’d let them play in traffic or something. But boys had a right to horse around and roughneck and get dirty sometimes. Let them take a few risks. Nothing wrong with that, right?
That wasn’t all griping Aaron. Claudia wanted to tie him down just as she tried to limit their sons’ adventures. When they were dating he’d managed to expand her horizons, get her to try things she’d never tried before—hot air ballooning, snowboarding, ziplining. And she’d enjoyed it. He’d loved hearing her laughter, her whoops of excitement with each new experience. Loved knowing he’d been the one to introduce her to new worlds.
But since the boys were born, she’d changed. Drawn back into her narrow world where no risks must be taken, no new escapades could be enjoyed. Worse, she wanted to pull him into that world, too. And that wasn’t him.
She knew the kind of man he was when they married. He never lied or tried hiding who he was.
“Come on, Marcus,” Andy pleaded. “It’ll be cool. Please, Dad?”
Aaron clamped his lips tight as a wave of aggravation hit him. Claudia had no right to expect him to change. When they married, he told her she made him want to be a better man. That didn’t mean he wanted to turn into some spineless little wimp scared of making wifey mad.
“You know what? Let’s do it,” he said. “The rally does sound like a lot of fun. We can catch the movie another time. What do you say?”
Andy hooted. “Yeah!”
Aaron grinned as pride filled his chest. Andy was like him—always ready for the next adventure. Full speed ahead and rarin’ to go.
“What about Mom?” Marcus asked.
His older boy was a worrier, like his mother. And like Claudia, he needed encouragement to step out of his comfort zone. “It’s all good. We’ll explain when we get home,” Aaron said.
She might be miffed, but he’d handle it. In the meantime, he and his boys could look forward to an afternoon of some good old-fashioned fun.
Looking back, Aaron could see the red flags. The crowd had been bigger than he’d expected, and rowdier. There were no real lines of demarcation between the spectators’ area and the racing track. The mob kept pushing forward, everyone trying to get a better look. No one seemed to be in charge, or at least not visible among the throng of onlookers.
He’d forever blame himself for not taking the boys and leaving upon seeing how poorly regulated the event was. But he allowed himself to overlook that, caught up in the crowd’s excitement. He managed to tell himself that surely nothing could go wrong.
Until it did…
It happened so quickly, amidst the dust and noise and the roar of motors. Two trucks collided and a third, trying to avoid the pile-up, veered off the track and into the crowd. Screams tore the air but couldn’t drown out the sickening sound of the crash. Panicked spectators ran in all directions to escape the flying debris and pluming smoke from the shattered vehicles. Groans and cries came from the injured—those who were still conscious and able to cry out. Others lay still and silent.
But all Aaron could think of was making sure his sons were safe. Thank God he’d been holding their hands, in spite of their objections, for fear of losing them in the jostling crowd. When the panic began, he scooped a boy under each arm and ran to keep them from getting trampled in the stampede of terrified people racing in all directions to get clear of the fire and smoke.
He made it to the SUV, his heart hammering so hard he thought it might burst. Setting the boys down, he checked each one over. “Are you all right? You’re not hurt, are you? Let me see.”
The boys stood silent and stunned as he frantically checked them for injuries and were as limp as rag dolls when he hugged them in relief. He climbed into the back seat with them and held them as Marcus began to cry. As though in a trance, Andy could only repeat “Did you see it, Dad? That truck went right into those people. It went right into them. Did you see?”
Fire trucks, ambulances and police cars soon filled the parking lot, making it impossible to leave. They sat in their vehicle until police gave them the go-ahead. The ride home was silent. Marcus had sobbed himself into exhaustion and Andy had run out of words.
Claudia’s first words when they returned home were “Where have you been? I’ve been calling.
Texting.” Her annoyed expression turned to one of fear when she set eyes on her sons’ pale faces. Marcus ran to her and hid his face against her while Andy looked up at Aaron plaintively. “Tell her, Dad. Tell her about the crash.”
“Crash?” She cried, looking to Aaron for answers.
“At the rally,” Aaron croaked. “There was an accident…”
“What rally? What accident? You said you were going to see a movie—”
“The truck went off the road,” Andy said, looking at her as though hoping she could explain why such a terrible thing would happen. As though she could fix it and make it all go away. “It crashed into the people. We saw it.”
“You saw—” her voice cracked and she beckoned Andy to her. “Are you all right? You’re not hurt? Marcus?”
Marcus shook his head no.
“They’re all right. I checked them,” Aaron told her. “They’re not hurt.”
The look she gave him was one of pure hate. “They’re not, huh?” She turned away, hugging the boys close. “Come on. Have you eaten? Are you hungry? No? Well, come on. Let’s have baths and get ready for bed. Maybe you’ll be hungry later. You’re all right. You’re home now and you’re safe.”
Though she didn’t add “No thanks to your father,” she might as well have done. The silent accusation hung in the air like poisonous gas. Aaron never hated himself more than he did at that moment.
“The boys don’t want to go to sleep tonight,” she told him later, refusing to look at him. “They won’t admit it, but I think they’re afraid of bad dreams. They said they’d try if they can share the same room. And we keep the lights on. And if I stay with them. So you stay in our room tonight and I’ll bunk in with Andrew and Marcus.”
She’d given him no chance to explain or even to apologize. “Claudia—”
“What?” Her voice was sharp, accusatory. Her eyes blazed with anger. “I suppose you’re going to tell me I’m babying them. Is that it?”
“No,” he insisted. “I’m not saying that. But you have to understand there was no way I could have known what would happen today. It was a freak accident. I’d never put our sons in danger—”
“Yet that’s exactly what you did, Aaron. You told me you were taking them to the movies then sneaked off to this race, or whatever it was. They saw people being injured. Being killed. They were terrified. And it was only sheer dumb luck they weren’t hurt themselves.” She took a step back, shook her head. “I can’t do this now. I can’t talk to you. I’m too angry. You go to bed or do whatever you want, I can’t be with you now. I’ll say something I’ll regret.”
Claudia never forgave him for that, and things were never the same between them afterwards. She’d lost trust in him and try as he might, he couldn’t win it back. Then he grew tired of trying. Instead of arguing the way they once did, they treated each other with cool, impeccable politeness. Finally, it was Claudia who brought up the word divorce:
“It’s not good for the boys, seeing us behave this way. Like two strangers. If they can’t have a loving home, maybe it’s better for them to have two peaceful ones.”
He should have argued then and insisted they fight for their marriage. He still loved her. Instead, like an idiot, he’d held on to his stupid pride, refusing to make the first move toward reconciliation.
A lot of good pride did him. He’d lost his home and his family.
“Hello? Earth to Dad.”
Andy’s voice snapped him back, reminding Aaron where he was. Both his sons watched him quizzically. He shook his head and grinned. “Sorry about that.”
“You okay?” Marcus asked. “You were out of it for a minute there.”
“I’m fine. Just great, in fact.” He had two fine sons. Andy was getting better every day. There was plenty to be grateful for.
He wouldn’t let past regrets spoil the present. And Claudia was part of the past.
Chapter 16
The following day, Marcus sent Aaron an unexpected text.
Come to the hospital now. It’s important.
After receiving no further information and no response to his calls, Aaron rushed to the hospital and into Andy’s room. “What’s happened? Why didn’t you answer my calls? I saw the doctor in the hall and she said nothing was—” his words broke off when he found Andy sitting up in bed staring at him. Marcus stood next to him, a grim look on his face.
Claudia was also there, seated. Apparently, they’d all been waiting for him.
“We’ve been summoned,” she told him. “It seems our sons have something they want to tell us.”
They’d sent their mother the same message? Was this some kind of stupid prank or what? Rounding on them as anger took the place of fear, he demanded “What’s going on?”
Marcus waved him into the empty chair next to Claudia’s. “Dad, have a seat. We need to talk.”
“Is this some kind of joke? What do you think you’re doing, scaring your mother and me like that?”
“Sorry about that,” Andy said. “We needed to get you both here at the same time, since you’ve been doing such a good job of avoiding each other.”
Aaron’s gaze slid to Claudia and they exchanged a guilty look. Remorse took some of the wind out of his sails as he sat. “What is it?”
Andy sank back against his pillows. “You tell ‘em, Marc.”
“All right.” The way Marcus looked at them, his teacher’s face stern, Aaron couldn’t help but feel a bit like a fourth-grader preparing for a reprimand and maybe a trip to the principal’s office. “Mom. Dad. We don’t like the way you’ve been acting lately. When we were kids and you first split up, I won’t lie, I always hoped you’d get back together again.”
“Me, too,” Andy said.
“But that didn’t happen and we got used to the way things changed. We might have had two homes—Mom’s house and Dad’s house—but we knew both our parents had our backs. And you two never badmouthed each other or tried to turn us against the other parent. I know how lucky we were in that regard, because a lot of my friends got used as pawns in their parents’ divorces. I even hear it from some of my students today. I always respected that about you both. So imagine what it felt like hearing you blame each other for Andy’s accident. Accusing each other of being a bad parent. Using Andy and me to hurt each other.”
Heat moved up Aaron’s neck and into his face. When he again glanced at Claudia, she looked as ashamed as he felt.
“We’re sorry,” he said, speaking for them both. “It was completely inappropriate and wrong. And believe me, it won’t happen again.”
“Why?” Marcus demanded. “Because you two won’t ever be together in the same room again?” A moment later he said “For a while it seemed like you were getting close again. Falling back in love—”
Andy interrupted. “Yeah? When did that happen?”
“When you were out like a light,” Marcus answered.
“Huh. I missed a lot.”
“You missed plenty, bro. Believe it.” Addressing his parents, he said “You guys are adults and what you do is your own business. But you managed to get through our childhood without sniping and tearing each other down. It’s ridiculous for you to be doing it now that we’re grown. So, in the interest of helping you two get your act together, Andy and I want to share a few facts.”
He turned to Claudia. “Mom. I never told you this before, but Dad was the first person I came out to. When I was fifteen years old.”
She glanced from Aaron to her older son, her eyes wide with surprise. “You…you did? But you didn’t tell me until your sixteenth birthday.”
“Yeah. And it wasn’t because I thought you wouldn’t understand or that you’d throw me out of the house. I just knew he wouldn’t make it A Big Thing. I told him, we talked about it for a little while and he said he’d support me any way he could. And then we were done, and we had pizza for dinner. When I told you, I knew you’d have my back. But you’d also want to talk about it for an hour and send me link
s to gay-friendly blogs and join the local PFLAG chapter and I don’t know, throw a party in my honor or something. It was all a little too much. I just had to work my way up to telling you.”
“I see.” Claudia’s voice was quiet. She looked pale and taken aback.
Aaron hurt for her—her self-concept had taken a blow. She was proud of her nurturing abilities and she had every reason to be. She was a wonderful mother.
He had to speak up in her defense. “If your mother reacted with a little too much…” he struggled for the proper term “…enthusiasm, it’s only because she loves you so much.”
“Dad, you think I don’t know that?” Marcus gave his mom an apologetic look. “But sometimes it’s just too much.” He turned to Andy. “Okay, you’re up.”
“I’m not going to sit here and let you two run down your mom,” Aaron sputtered. “After everything she’s done for you—”
“Chill, Dad,” Andy said. “This next part’s for you.”
Aaron’s mouth snapped shut.
“Dad. It was pretty cool the way you let us have fun when we were growing up and do stuff Mom wouldn’t let us try,” Andy said. “But you tried too hard to be our buddy. You let us get away with too much. Sure, it’s a kid’s job to try and get over on Mom and Dad. But it’s a grown-up’s job to shut that crap down. And there were times that you should have told us no. Told me no. I was always more of a wild man than Marcus, but you know what? I wanted to impress you. Make you proud of me. And I thought the wilder the stunt, the prouder you’d be. But it scared me, too. There were times I really wanted to back down, but thought you’d be ashamed of me if I did. I wanted you to stop me. Tell me no way. Then I could have saved face and not looked chicken. But you never wanted to be the bad guy.
“Do you remember after the divorce when you had us for Winter break and we went skiing out West? Marcus and I were just beginners. We shouldn’t have gone anywhere beyond the bunny slope. But I wanted to show off how brave I was and had a tantrum cause I wanted to go down the big hill with you. And you said okay! What were you thinking? I was nine years old and could barely stand on my skis. You should have told me no way. Thinking about taking that monster hill scared me so bad, I about peed my pants.”
The Billionaire's Big Risk Page 12