"You're single?" I asked.
"I am and have been since I became a surgeon. I know I can't ever be happy with someone else."
"That's a really bold statement."
"I know it is. But I'm firm on it. When I became a surgeon, I made a decision to dedicate my life to my profession. It wouldn't be fair to anyone to be in a relationship with me. I'm not capable of giving someone the time and energy--and the amount of work it takes to build a life with them."
"And you're comfortable living your life alone?"
"I've always enjoyed my alone time-the only thing I wish for sometimes is to be free from being so tied down to the hospital and do more things I want, like travel. Don't get me wrong, I love my job. I'm just not as happy as I once was when I was free from all the responsibilities." Westley took another sip of wine and passed the bottle back to me. "Even deciding to come here for a week, when Liam invited me, was difficult to do. I hadn't taken this much time off work in years."
"Well, I hope this week's going to be worth it for you."
Westley smiled and then looked back out at the sunset.
He was staring out with a smoldering gaze. I started to smile in a way I hadn't in a long time. Why was he making me smile like that all of a sudden?
Westley caught me looking at him, but instead of it being awkward, he smiled back at me. It was a calm smile with an air of dignity.
I'd always thought that I just needed one person in this world who I could share more special experiences with, and all my problems would disappear, but I wasn't sure if I'd ever be ready for that again.
2
Westley
As soon as the sun had set behind the trees, all the beautiful colors in the sky disappeared and were replaced by so many stars. It happened abruptly like a light switch had been flicked off.
"Want to see something cool?" Clayton asked me in the darkness. "I think it'd be pretty interesting to you, considering how you studied architecture before becoming a surgeon."
"Sure," I said.
We got off the bench and Clayton led me toward the dark forest.
"How do I know you're not taking me into these woods to kill me?" I asked.
Clayton stopped walking and turned to face me.
"You don't," he said, in a way that made my heart beat a little faster.
I saw him smile and we both laughed.
Despite just meeting him, I felt safe around Clayton. Maybe it was his size, or how strong he looked. Even if we encountered a bear in the forest, which were known to roam around here in Muskoka, I had a feeling he'd know what to do in a place like this. Clayton looked to be about six five--at least, and he was built like a tank. He also mentioned he had served as a marine.
"I'm not sure if I can find it in the dark," Clayton said, as we kept walking deeper and deeper into the forest.
"I don't even know what we're looking for," I said.
"Look up in the trees for a treehouse type of structure."
The stars in the sky made it easier to make out the trees and the path we were on.
"As far as I'm aware, it needs a little TLC because of the frequent storms, but it's still standing," Clayton said.
I smiled. "We're looking for a treehouse?"
"It's a special place to me, that has been part of my family. My grandfather and I built it," he explained. "But it's not just a treehouse. It's quite spectacular in how it's built and raised above the ground."
We went further into the forest. Eventually, we were so deep that I wasn't sure how to get back to the cottage. I was really hoping Clayton knew the way back.
He stopped walking and pulled out his phone to use the flashlight and shone it above us. I pulled out my phone too for more light.
"It's here," he said.
I looked up at the structure in awe. We were standing right below it. The treehouse was suspended by cables connected to several trees. The wooden structure looked like it was floating in the air. The shape of it was curved and it resembled a sail on a boat.
"This is incredible," I said. "Is your grandfather an architect?"
"Not at all. But he was always interested in woodworking." Clayton shone the flashlight in my direction. "You want to go up?"
I was weary, and I must've shown it on my face.
"Don't worry, it's been standing for many years," he said.
"Screw it," I finally said. "Why not?"
Clayton smiled and shook the snow off the rungs of the rope ladder.
Clayton went up first and I followed right behind him. When I was almost to the top, Clayton reached his hand out to pull me up. I could tell how strong he was by how effortlessly he was able to do so.
Thanks," I said.
"No problem," he replied with a smile.
Clayton closed the trapdoor, and the heat of our bodies slowly warmed up the small space.
From up here, we could see the stars better. We passed the bottle of wine back and forth until it was nearly empty.
I remembered Clayton saying he came to the cottage with a teenager, and I assumed he was with his son, although I hadn't really gotten a chance to meet or talk to him yet.
"What's your son's name?" I asked.
"Brayden," Clayton said, looking out the large window at the gorgeous view with me. "He's seventeen and quite a handful for me, being a single dad and all. We keep getting in these fights, and I feel like he's going through that phase in life where he thinks he knows everything."
"What do you guys usually fight about?"
"Pointless things. Really stupid and pointless things. I guess I'm just a bit worried since he's leaving for college next year. I've been a lot more strict with him and because of that, he's being a lot more defiant. I hope we find some sort of middle ground soon before he leaves. He's really all I've got in this world since my husband passed."
"He's your biological son?"
"Yes," he said. "Brayden was conceived through in-vitro, and because my husband had HIV, there was a small chance it could be transmitted to our baby. We didn't want to risk it, so we used my sperm." Clayton smiled, like he was thinking of something that made him happy. "I love my son, and it's very apparent that Brayden and I share the same DNA. He's stubborn like I am."
The wind started to pick up and the treehouse began to sway a little.
"The storm might be coming back sooner than expected," Clayton said, pointing to some clouds in the distance that eclipsed the stars.
"Should we head back to the cottage?" I asked.
"Yeah, let's head back. Our friends are probably wondering where the hell we've gone."
Clay... was a handsome man. Because he was older, he seemed to have a certain kind of wisdom that could only be gained through life experiences.
After spending time with him, I remembered how lonely I was and how much I was lacking in my social life.
Now that I knew a bit about Clay's life, and that he seemed like a good guy, I could feel a comforting warmth in my heart, like I'd just made a new friend.
"Can you tell me a bit about your Dad?" Clayton asked. "I'm curious to know more about him since he served in the marines."
"My dad's a kind man in all the right ways. Everyone respects him so much because he's the type of person who'd do the right thing even if no one is watching."
"Have you always been close to him?"
"I would have loved to have spent more time with him when I was younger, but I was too young to understand just how amazing he is. We're really close now, though, and because I live quite close to him, we spend time together whenever I'm not working at the hospital."
"Treasure the time you have with him," Clayton said. "I wish I did before my dad passed."
Clayton pulled out his phone and showed me a photo.
"This was me and my father at a beach," he said.
My eyes widened. "That's you?" I asked, pointing to the younger person on his screen.
"I was eighteen in that photo," he said.
"You looked
exactly like your son now," I said. "And now, you look so much like your dad in that photo."
"People say that a lot," Clayton said with a smile, holding his head up high.
He looked handsome in that photo, but I didn't say it out loud.
I was astonished by how big Clayton was, even as a teenager, he was broad-shouldered and had rippling abs. He had blond hair, which had greyed out now.
I still remembered the grip of his handshake from when we first met.
"Which beach was that photo taken at?" I asked. "It looks beautiful."
"Somewhere in Thunder Bay. I was born there."
"Did you go to high school there too?"
He nodded. "I was the captain of my high school's football team."
"Did you know you were gay back then?"
"I always knew I was different, but I didn't exactly know why I was different. Times were not the same back then. People never questioned my sexuality, and I was grateful I was never bullied for it. I've always been a pretty quiet person though." He smiled. "My mother described my calm personality as having been inherited from her father. She's gone now too, though."
"Were you and her close?"
"Very. I was an only child. She was a very loving mother and the biggest workaholic I knew. She loved me so much and I loved her a lot too, but she was also religious, very religious, so it took her some time to accept the fact that I was gay."
Clayton showed me another photo of him during his college graduation. In that picture, he was standing next to his parents. His mom was a petite woman with salt and pepper hair like Clayton had now.
"Are you and your brother close?" Clayton asked.
"Incredibly. Shawn might have died had I not saved him from drowning in a pool when I was six and he was five. Luckily, my dad had run out of the house in time to do CPR."
"Shawn must be so grateful to have you as a brother."
"I doubt Shawn even remembers it and I've never mentioned it to him, because of how traumatic it was seeing my brother's face blue for the first time. My dad never mentions it either. That day was the first and only time I ever saw my dad cry."
"I don't cry often, but as a father, I'd break down too if anything ever happened to Brayden."
"Shawn will never know what really happened, because he was so young. Neither would our neighbors who heard my dad's scream. I will always remember that day, and I would never take my brother for granted. I missed school to be there at the hospital, hoping he'd be alright."
We arrived back at the cottage and headed inside.
"Where'd you go?" A man I hadn't met yet asked Clayton.
"We went for a walk," Clayton said, before turning to me. "Westley, this is my best friend, Austin."
Austin smiled and shook my hand.
Clayton left Austin and me to talk and he returned with a box of wine from his cellar. I recognized the expensive label on the wine. It was from a vineyard from this area that went for a thousand dollars a bottle, yet he shared it freely with everyone at the party. Everyone was in good spirits with wine flowing and music playing.
I went over to the couch to talk to Shawn. The main reason why I decided to come to the cottage was to hang out with my brother, since we were so busy neither of us got to see each other as much as we'd like.
I noticed Clayton talking to Austin in the kitchen. Austin looked to be around the same age as Clayton, and I wondered how they knew each other. I couldn't hear what they were saying, but it looked like they were pretty deep in a serious conversation.
Once in a while, Clayton and I would catch each other's eyes across the room. I didn't really know why he was looking at me like that.
It was past midnight, and all the kids had already gone to bed. Even some of the dads had called it a night.
I'd been talking to my brother, so Clayton and I hadn't talked much. We locked eyes again and he smiled from across the room. I didn't know what to think. I didn't even know why we were looking at each other. It was a strange feeling, like maybe we'd known each other in a different life. I wanted to go up and ask him why he was smiling at me, but I stopped myself.
"What are you thinking about?" Shawn asked, putting his arm around my shoulder. I realized I'd been tuned out of the conversation we were having because I was looking over at Clayton.
With him so close to me, I could smell the scent of my brother's body wash.
"Nothing. What do you think I'm thinking about?"
"I mean, clearly you were, since you've been staring out to space."
"I'm thinking about sex," I said, trying to make Shawn uncomfortable so he'd change the topic.
"You want to have sex with someone here?"
"No," I said defensively. "You know I'm interested in women and we're in a cottage full of dads."
Shawn smiled. "You've been single for so long and we never ever talk about your love life."
"I don't want a love life. I mean it would be nice to just have sex with someone. I've always wanted to just fuck without all the emotions, but it's hard to do that with women. I've tried to do that, but feelings always get involved."
"You can't blame them. Who doesn't want to be in a relationship with a handsome surgeon?" Shawn asked.
I felt blood rush to my cheeks.
"Let's play a game," Shawn said. "If you had to sleep with someone here, who would it be?"
"This is a silly game." I furrowed my brow. "No one."
"Come on," Shawn said. "It's not like you have to really have sex with them. I'm just curious, that's all."
"Fine, if I had to pick, Clayton. But, that's only because he's really the only person I got to talk to tonight."
"Clayton?" Shawn's eyes widened. "Interesting choice. You've always been interested in older women, but older men... that's news to me."
"You said the question was hypothetical. I don't actually want to sleep with him."
"I know, I know," Shawn said with a mischievous grin.
We both laughed at how ridiculous the conversation we were having was.
Liam came out into the living room, holding Ari who was crying. "Hey, Shawn, can you give me a hand? I need help with putting Hayden to bed."
Without saying a word, my brother quickly got off the couch to help Liam. Seeing how close they were made me want that with someone.
I looked back over to the kitchen, and Clayton wasn't talking to Austin anymore.
Clayton was looking over at me and his eyes seemed to glow. I felt the air suddenly warm up.
My heart just skipped a beat. I was hypnotized by his blue eyes.
I decided to go over and talk to him.
3
Clayton
I couldn't stop stealing glances at Westley throughout the night. To me, he was the most handsome man in the room.
I wondered if our age difference made him look at me differently from some of the other guys. Even though he was a surgeon in his forties, he looked like he was in his mid-thirties. He was smiling and laughing and quite a flirt, in a shy way, when he drank.
"You were giving me eyes just now, weren't you?" asked Westley, who'd approached me when I was standing alone in the kitchen.
"No," I lied.
He didn't look convinced by my answer. Hell, even I wasn't convinced by it.
"Well, I just want to be forthcoming and say I'm interested in women," he said.
I smiled. "Bold of you to think I'm interested in you."
We started having a conversation about his dating history and how he'd always dated older women.
"What was the one thing you liked most of all as far as older women are concerned?"
"They just know what they want," Westley said. "I liked older women even when I was in college."
"You must be somewhat of a heartbreaker," I said.
"Why would you say that?"
"Just get a feeling that a lot of women would want to be in a relationship with you."
"It's one of the reasons why I'm single. I just feel like I can't g
ive a woman everything they want. I've always had that sort of all-or-nothing mentality."
He told me he had good game with women, though, and I believed him.
Once in a while, he'd occasionally put a hand on my arm when he was talking about something and getting deep into a story. Sometimes, I'd lose track of what he was saying because I was too busy looking in his eyes. When I'd met him earlier, he seemed so much more reserved, but after a few drinks, I could see him loosen up a bit. I liked that.
I had thoughts of what it'd be like to be dating Westley. I laughed in my head, pining over someone who was clearly straight and unavailable. There was no way he'd be interested in someone like me.
But I couldn't help but be drawn to him.
He was the type of person I wasn't. He was educated and humble to everyone at my cottage... was there any reason for me to not be interested?
There were intrusive thoughts of what I wanted to do to him. To rip his clothes off and...
I was horny because it'd been a very long time since I'd had sex with anyone.
I could see that Westley was acting a bit different when he was around me, quieter like he was intimidated by me. Yet he seemingly wanted to be close to me like I offered him some kind of protection or comfort.
I didn't know if I'd ever seen anyone so handsome anywhere. Definitely not at the bars I frequented on weekends. I liked how close he was to his brother too.
But, as I learned tonight, Westley was only interested in women.
4
Clayton
All of the guys were asleep by three in the morning.
I was sharing the bed in the master bedroom with Brayden, who was snoring. I noticed a light turn on in the family room upstairs. I was restless after the wonderful first night at the cottage and decided to go out to see who it was.
"Why are you still up?" I asked, rubbing my eyes.
Westley was sitting in a bean bag chair.
"Because of what I do, I have really strange sleeping hours."
CLAYTON (Single Dads Club Book 3) Page 2