by L. M. Carr
Terrified, yet thrilled, I blow out a breath of uncertainty. “Julian, this is a lot to process. I have a life. I’m not the same girl you knew.”
“You think I don’t know that? Even though I wasn’t in your life, you were always in mine. Not a day went by that I didn’t think about you.”
I blink away the pooling moisture. “I’m going to need some time to think about all of this.”
He nods. “Understandable. Take all the time you need.” Taking my hand in his, he raises it to his lips and places a soft kiss against my knuckles. “I’m not going anywhere.”
When we arrive at my building, I don’t extend the invitation for him to come up. My mind needs some quiet time to discuss this with my heart. They’re starting to battle, each trying to influence my decision without any regard for the repercussions.
Chapter Nine
After a restless night, I show up to work exhausted and confused, completely unprepared to find Wes in my office, overenthusiastic about Julian’s unexpected visit.
“I didn’t realize you knew each other so well,” he sings from his position at the edge of my desk.
“It’s no secret that our families were close, Wes,” I retort dryly as I hang up my jacket and purse. Tossing my phone into my desk drawer, I leave several text messages unanswered. I sink into my chair and sigh.
“How close is the million-dollar question.”
Ignoring his unspoken inquiry, I ask, “To what do I owe this so very early morning visit?”
“Just wanted to see if you need anything this week. I’ve freed up your schedule so you can prepare.”
I raise an eyebrow. “I already know this, Wes. What’s really going on?”
He hands me a stack of stapled papers. “These are the updated questions for the interview. I’ve also emailed them to you.”
I flip through the pages, nodding at the standard interview prompts…until I reach the final page. “No, Wes! I will absolutely not ask these last few questions. They are way too personal. They have nothing to do with football or his new job.”
“Actually…” His smile turns devious, “they do. Like you said, your families were close. Our viewers will be intrigued by the events that ended Julian’s career and changed the course of his life.”
“That’s bullshit,” I spit.
Wes rises from his perch on my desk and shrugs. “Call it whatever you’d like, love. It’s what they want.”
“Mind closing the door on your way out?” I snap.
As he does, I reread the questions and feel the tension build when my eyes scan over the ones asking about Julian’s relationship with my family…and me. I won’t do it. I refuse to have my business splashed all over the network like some cheap story on TMZ. What I do in my personal life is private.
Firing up my computer, I check my email and groan when I realize I still need to find a dress for the charity ball.
A gentle knock on my door freezes my fingers on the keyboard. When I glance up, I see Julian peeking around the door. Nervously, I close my laptop, as though I had been caught looking at something I shouldn’t have been.
“Hi.” I stand as he strides into my office
Julian looks like a man on a mission. His smile is tight, seemingly forced.
“You okay?” I ask hesitantly.
Enveloping my body in a protective hold, he presses his nose against my hair and inhales sharply. Goosebumps cover my skin as my hand travels to the nape of his neck where I caress his closely shaved scalp, relishing in the feel of him in my arms.
“What’s wrong?” I whisper, secretly worried he’s had a change of heart about us.
His grip tightens.
“Julian…,” I sigh, pulling back to face him.
“Why are you ignoring me?” he asks, a hurt look on his face.
I inhale, then release the deep breath. “I told you, I need time.”
“It’s been over twelve hours,” he counters playfully, brushing my hair to the side and giving his lips access to my neck.
“I kind of thought we’d get through the interview first, then talk about…us.”
Pulling back sharply, Julian gazes at me, panic in his eyes. “That’s not for another two weeks!”
I wiggle my way out of his arms. “It’s been over ten years. I don’t think a couple of weeks will kill you.”
He curls his fist and plunges an invisible knife into his heart. I laugh.
“Since you’re here, why don’t you tell me what your texts said,” I suggest, walking back to my chair to create some distance between us.
He sits in the chair in front of my desk. “You didn’t read them?”
Guilt covers my face.
He smirks. “I need to fly back to LA tomorrow to finish packing and start the move here.”
“I see.” I nod, knowing there’s more to be told, considering the number of text messages I received. “I would offer to go with you and lend a hand, but it seems I need to prepare for an upcoming interview with some hotshot coach.”
Julian pulls his eyes away as apprehension washes over his face. “That probably wouldn’t be a good idea anyway.”
“And why’s that?”
“Georgina still needs to move out.”
“What?” I slam my palm down on the surface. “You live with her?”
“She only moved in about a month ago,” he admits guiltily.
“Oh, my god, Julian! Don’t you think it’s crazy you were living with someone until a few days ago, but now you’re here giving me all this talk of second chances?” I huff in frustration.
He flinches, then tilts his head and inquires quietly, a somber expression on his face, “Are you saying your bed has been empty all these years?”
I rake my fingers through my hair, culpability weighing heavily on my chest. “Fair enough.”
“Look, I’ll be the first to admit I’ve done some really stupid shit.” He looks up to the ceiling as regret shadows his face. “It meant nothing…They meant nothing.”
“In that case, I guess I’m guilty, too.” I hate to admit I’ve also been reckless with my body.
Julian rises, walks around my desk and leans against the edge, crossing his long legs at the ankles. From my position, his crotch is in my direct line of sight, his erection quite pronounced. His fingers grip the edge of the desk.
I drag my eyes up and meet his penetrating gaze.
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Like what?” he asks slowly, his voice low and sexy.
I notice his dick twitch beneath the material. “Like you want to attack me.”
A devious smile crawls across his handsome face. “I don’t want to attack you, but I am using every ounce of self-restraint I have to not lock the door and fuck you right now.”
My core tightens.
“Isn’t that what you want, too, Addison?”
I raise my chin and swallow nervously, trying to appear unaffected.
Julian leans forward and runs his fingertips over my shirt and my taut nipples. My entire body tingles from the sensation before I slap his hand away and stand abruptly.
“Stop,” I demand through gritted teeth.
“Why?” he asks, stepping closer, pulling me flush with his hard body. “This is us. We have always had this intense connection. Years apart haven’t changed that.”
He lowers his head and places his lips against mine. What begins as a gentle kiss quickly escalates, hands roaming.
I quickly pull away, panting, my thoughts running rampant.
“Stop overthinking this. Forget about the past. Think about the future,” he murmurs.
I look away, wishing he didn’t know me so well.
“I’ve got to get back to work, Julian.”
“I’d like to see you later, Addison.”
“Okay.” I nod. “But the only thing we’re going to do is talk and share the large pepperoni pizza you’re going to bring over. I am not having sex with you.”
Julian gives my lips a chaste kiss and winks. “We’ll see.”
§
I quickly dress in black jeans and an oversized shirt, my feet nestled in ballet flats, before Julian arrives carrying a pizza and a bottle of pinot noir. He leans in to greet me with a kiss on the cheek, and I steady myself with a hand on his bicep, gliding my fingertips over his leather jacket. Realizing what I’m doing, I pull my hand away and reach for the pizza.
“Thanks! I’m starving,” I announce as I set the box down on the kitchen counter and lift the lid. “This looks delicious.”
“So do you.”
I glance up to find him stalking toward me like a predator. I hold up my hand. “Eating and talking. That was the deal.”
His right eyebrow arches playfully. “Where’s your roommate?” he asks, shrugging out of his jacket and hanging it on the back of the barstool.
“She’s working on a big case, so she won’t be home until late.”
I open the bottle of wine and turn to retrieve two glasses, stopping when I remember he doesn’t drink alcohol. “What can I get you to drink?”
“Water’s fine.”
After setting his water in front of him, I place slices of pizza onto plates, then motion to the living room. “After you,” I say, taking the opportunity to ogle his build as he walks ahead of me. His shoulders and back seem broader than I remember, but his ass is still perfect.
“Are you checking me out?” he inquires, sitting in the middle of the sofa.
I grin as I sit beside him and fold my legs under me, taking a bite of pizza.
“How’d your meeting with management go?” I ask.
Julian takes a bite, then wipes his mouth with a napkin. “Not bad, although some of them have their own ideas about what they want. I made it very clear that if I’m going to coach, I need to do it my way. Build the team I want.”
“Good for you. Hopefully you can break our losing streak.”
He chuckles. “Don’t expect a miracle the first season.”
I shift and nudge his rib with the tip of my toe. “But you’re J. Mack, the Play Maker!”
He shakes his head, face falling. “Don’t call me that. That guy’s an asshole.”
“Well, in that case, I’m glad I didn’t know him.” I smirk and wink.
I reach for the remote and turn on the television. I know Julian wants to talk about us, but I’m not sure I’m ready for that.
“How long will you be back in California?” I ask, tiptoeing around the subject of Gigi Asher.
“About a week or so. I’ve got to tie up some loose ends before I leave.”
“Well, at least you’ll have a few days to relax afterward.”
“Relax?” he chuckles.
Then I remember. “Oh, wait. Aren’t you going to the Pro Bowl in Hawaii?”
“Yep. You?”
“I’m actually going to be covering it.”
“With your ex?”
I sigh and nod. “Yeah. He’ll be there.”
My cell phone alerts me of an incoming text from Naomi, letting me know she’s not coming home tonight.
“Yes!” I raise my fist in the air. “Peace and quiet.”
Julian raise his brows.
“Naomi’s sleeping somewhere else tonight.”
“So you’re going to be home all alone?” He waggles his eyebrows.
“Don’t even think about it!” I laugh, walking into the kitchen to pour myself a second glass of wine. When I return to my seat, I find him staring at the TV pensively.
“What are you thinking about?”
He scratches the scruff on his chin. “Everything.”
I furrow my brows. “Care to elaborate?”
“I guess I’m worried about failing. Football is the only thing I’ve ever known. It’s the only thing I’ve ever been good at.”
I shake my head. “I disagree. You were always so much more than a football player.”
For the first time since his mother’s passing, I see Julian’s vulnerability. Leaning forward with his elbows on his knees, he hangs his head and sighs heavily. In an effort to comfort him, I rub small circles onto his back, then glide my fingers to the nape of his neck.
He turns his head to look at me, then shifts completely to face me, eyes darkening. Fingers rake through my hair and draw me close. Suddenly, he pounces. I can’t help the desperation I feel when he lands on top of me. Our mouths crash into each other as my legs part. His erection presses into me, and moisture pools in my core. With nimble fingers, Julian unbuttons and unzips my pants, reaching down into my heat, sucking in a breath.
“Jesus Christ, Addison. You’re so wet.”
Julian slithers down my body and grabs the waistband of my pants, lifting my hips and pulling them down my legs, dropping them to the floor. He repositions himself between my legs.
“Sweet Addison, what have we here?” he asks, blowing gently on my sex before dipping his head to taste me.
I groan and grip his head.
His tongue circles, then nibbles on my buzzing flesh. I shiver. The delicious torment continues until I feel a tingling in my spine and suddenly tumble over the edge, whispering his name.
“More. I want more,” I beg, disregarding the fact that we don’t have a condom or that he probably fucked Gigi Asher this week.
“Addison…” He slithers up my body, a warning in his voice as he stares down at me.
“Julian, please…,” I beg.
He slowly pushes himself up to sit on the couch. “You’re making it very difficult to resist you.”
“Then don’t.”
Dropping his gaze momentarily, he looks back at me apologetically. “I didn’t come over to fuck you.”
“But I want you to,” I retort sitting up, feeling shame creep in as I debase myself. Who the hell begs a man to fuck her?
“You’re not ready.”
Completely embarrassed, I stand and grab my pants, violently yanking them up my legs. “You can go now.”
“I’m not going anywhere.”
“I’m asking you to leave,” I spit, crossing my arms.
He stands and reaches for my hand, but I step back.
“Come here.”
When I don’t budge, he steps toward me, sliding his hand around my waist. His right hand grips my chin and forces me to look at him. The intensity in his fierce gaze is almost frightening.
“Baby, I don’t want a quick fuck with you on the couch. I want to make sweet love to you. I want to worship every part of your body for hours, then bury myself in your pussy.”
I feel the walls of my heart starting to crumble. “Stay with me tonight.”
He shakes his head. “If I stay tonight, I won’t ever want to leave.”
I purse my lips.
“Plus, I have an early morning flight,” he adds.
I lick my lips and nod slowly, attempting to hide the disappointment. “Then you should go.”
“Please, don’t be upset.”
“I’m not,” I lie. “I’ll talk to you when you get back.”
He frowns. “What?”
“You’re going to be busy, and I have to get ready for the interview.”
Julian cups my jaw and lowers his face to look into my eyes. “I won’t ever be too busy to talk to you. I’ll call you after I land tomorrow.”
I force down the boulder in my throat and nod.
“And if there’s anything you need, just call or text.”
“Okay, but I think the questions are pretty standard.”
His dimple appears as he smiles. “Addison, I wasn’t talking about the interview.”
Chapter Ten
Two weeks later…
I reply to Naomi’s text wishing me good luck with today’s interview. Julian had to stay in California a few extra days, so I haven’t seen him yet. We’ve been in daily contact, but it’s not the same.
“Open.”
I part my lips slightly so Roz, the makeup artist, can add a final touch of col
or to them. Michelle, the stylist, spritzes my locks, hoping the waves will stay in place. I’ve already been prepped with my microphone and done two sound checks. Everything is ready to go. Now if I could only quell my nerves.
“Gorgeous.”
I glance at myself in the mirror and smirk. “Gotta love the magic of makeup.”
Rising from the chair, I walk down the hall and refill my white tumbler with water, then take a sip through the straw. My mouth is parched and belly rumbles, even though I’ve already eaten.
You can do this. You’ve interviewed so many people. It’s just Julian. Talk to him normally, just like you have every night this week, I encourage myself as I walk into the studio.
“AJ!”
I turn to see Wes rushing up. “Hey, Wes.”
“You look great. You’re going to kill this interview.”
I offer a small smile. “Thanks.” I run my hands down my black dress pants. “Is my mic okay?”
His gaze drags down to my shirt. “Could you maybe undo one more button?”
I scowl. “I’m going to pretend you didn’t say that; otherwise, we’ll have to head up to HR.” I smack his stomach with the back of my hand.
He laughs. “Empty threats.”
At a flurry of activity by the side door, I glance over my shoulder and smile. Julian is dressed casually in a navy polo shirt with the team’s logo, a pair of khakis and brown boots. His long-time agent, Sam Banks, who also represented Rence at one point, walks in behind him, catches my eye and nods. I return a tight smile.
Julian and I agreed to keep things strictly professional. We have just reconnected, and I certainly don’t want to rush into any sort of public display. My career has been my focus for the past few years, and I intend to keep it that way.
“Miss Hamilton,” Julian says, striding over with his hand extended. “Nice to see you again.”
I stifle a grin and slip my hand into his. A rush of electricity soars through my body. “Coach MacIntyre. How are you, sir?” My eyes rake down the length of his body before returning to his face. “You’re looking quite well. Seems this move back to where you started your career really agrees with you.”
His eyes sparkle with mischief. “I think it’s going to be the start of something magnificent.”