by Sue MacKay
‘You still coming along to the camp today?’
‘I’ll drop by to see what everyone’s up to, and check with Logan that there’re no problems.’ Logan ran the camp and knew what he was doing, yet she couldn’t help staying in touch. Control freak? Her mouth flattened. ‘Maybe I should leave him to it,’ she gasped. ‘It’s not as though he hasn’t done this often.’
Max laughed. ‘He’s already asked if I knew when you might make an appearance. When I explained how your morning had panned out he said he’d call you when he had a free moment.’
She soaked up Max’s relaxed attitude, relishing the warmth filling her and driving away that need to wreck something. ‘So he didn’t pull a face and suggest I stay away?’
‘Would you?’
‘Mostly. Mainly I want to catch up with Josie.’ Lily found herself smiling. This happier side had been a long time in hiding, and letting it out for an airing felt so good. Thanks, Max. Was it because they were getting on better than before? Or did she feel there was something there she wanted to nurture between them? Was that sense of something deeper she’d experienced during their fling making a comeback? Or was she just getting on with her life and starting to enjoy herself again? Whatever the reason, bring it on. She was ripe for some fun and adventure. Just not of the heart involvement variety. She’d save that for her baby.
‘I’d better go and look useful. There’s a get-together of everyone after lunch followed by soccer and netball games.’
Sounded about right. ‘See you later.’ Now what? The kitchen was tidy, she’d talked to Archie and Max, had decided not to go to the camp just yet, and the idea of curling up with her book wasn’t appealing. Her nerves had calmed. She no longer felt inclined to create havoc. Under the tree sat the trailer full of pine. Sometime it needed to be cut into firebox lengths and split in half to be left to weather before being stacked under cover. Might as well start on the lengths. Someone else would do the splitting as wielding an axe was not her thing.
* * *
‘Auntie Lily, where have you been? I’ve been waiting for you.’ Josie threw herself out of the wheelchair at Lily. ‘The doctor says he knows you.’ She tipped her head back to lock eyes with her. ‘He’s nice.’
Max could charm any female from two to ninety years old. Including herself, it seemed. ‘We worked together before I went to Singapore.’ She held Josie against her, breathing in her youthfulness.
‘You’re going to be at the same medical centre from now on.’
Okay, she could be a rascal, this one. Easing her hold, Lily let Josie stand. There was a cheeky grin on her niece’s face that she understood all too well. ‘Stop right there, my girl. I don’t need you attempting to organise my life. I make a big enough mess of it all by myself.’ She grinned. ‘What have you been up to?’
‘Apart from asking Dr Max lots of questions? I played netball and shot two goals.’ Pride brightened her eyes.
‘Not bad, huh?’ She high-fived Josie’s hand. ‘What are the other kids like? Anyone you know?’
Crimson colour poured into Josie’s cheeks. ‘Um, yeah. Ollie from last time’s here. I knew he was coming. We text.’
Lifting one eyebrow, Lily grinned again. ‘You don’t say. I’m going to have to get the chain and padlock from the shed.’
‘As of now you’re no longer my favourite aunt.’ Josie sank back into her chair and chewed her fingernail, before looking up and laughing. ‘He looks gorgeous, better than before.’
Great. Should she tell her brother and sister-in-law? Or just keep a covert eye on things and let Josie get on with being a normal teen when it wasn’t always so easy for her? Lily sighed. She already knew the answer. Josie was here for a good time, which included normality and fun and learning to be more resilient than most kids their age. Not that her niece wasn’t already strong, but there was no such thing as too much resilience to the things life threw at people. ‘Take care, that’s all I’m asking.’
‘Yes, Auntie.’ Josie pulled a face then laughed. ‘This is me you’re talking to. Your super-careful niece, remember?’
‘Don’t you mean my try-anything, give-it-a-go niece?’ Lily retorted, and heard a deep chuckle behind her.
‘You two are so alike it’s surreal,’ Max said.
More than he realised, Lily conceded as she felt her face grow warm. ‘Family genes,’ she muttered for lack of anything better to say.
‘Hey, Dr Max. Lily was telling me...’ Josie faltered to a stop as Lily glared at her. ‘Um, that I need to go find out what I’m doing tonight.’ She wheeled away before Lily could say anything to stop her.
‘Little minx,’ Lily muttered. ‘Except she’s not so little or young any more.’
‘She’s already shown she’s a leader in the netball arena,’ Max acknowledged. ‘The boys can’t keep their eyes off her either, and that has nothing to with netball.’
‘That’s all they’d better be touching her with,’ Lily growled, then sighed. ‘Listen to me, sounding more like her parents than her fun aunt.’
‘Could be you remember what you got up to at that age.’
She loved it when he joked with her. ‘Isn’t that how parents think? I wonder how I’d cope being a parent. Teenagers can be such trouble.’ The good humour bubbled inside her. Babies grew into kids then teenagers. It was part of the deal, and she wanted it all. She’d be fine. Love coped with most things.
‘You don’t mean that,’ Max said with a hint of sadness darkening his features. ‘Having children is most people’s dream.’
‘Max? Why do you sound dejected all of a sudden?’ she asked without thought. She didn’t like to see him like this. Didn’t want him hurting. Was it a dream of his to have kids that he couldn’t meet?
He shook his head abruptly and looked out towards the beach. ‘Nothing.’
It wasn’t true. His suddenly slumped shoulders backed her conviction she’d touched on something hurtful. Not that they were close and would swap tales of woe but, ‘You know where to find me if you ever want to vent. There’s always wine to go with that.’ And arms to hold you.
Slowly he turned to look at her, astonishment quickly replaced with relief. ‘Thanks for being understanding.’
‘It’s not hard. We all get our share of knocks.’
‘You, too?’
‘Of course. And I’m not being flippant.’
‘For once I wish you were. I don’t like thinking you’ve been hurt, Lily.’
Yeah, well. ‘It’s part of being human. But I’m here, content.’ She paused. That was so true it was almost laughable. ‘And looking forward to the rest of the week.’
The sadness shadowing Max’s eyes lifted. ‘Me, too.’ Did his intense gaze suggest she take that any way she chose?
Warmth tripped over her skin. Then she did something she couldn’t believe. Slipping her arm through his, she said, ‘Come on. Logan wants to chat to us both about Michelle’s role.’ Glancing up for his reaction, Lily smiled. Being this close to Max gave her inexplicable hope. The future was brightening, the darkness fading, just when she’d decided to give men a miss for a while.
Under her hand Max tensed then swiftly relaxed again and began walking with her towards the office-cum-staffroom. ‘Funny, he didn’t say anything to me earlier.’
‘There’s probably a lot going on in his head at the moment. The first day is always crazy busy.’
‘I’m beginning to understand just how important this place is to you.’ Those intense eyes returned to her.
‘Very.’ She had no idea why, but she wanted to be open with him. The need to share was grabbing her, no matter what his reaction might be. Unused to telling people deeply personal things, she found this incredibly easy to say. ‘I financed it from the start.’
Max nodded slowly and his face opened up in acknowledgement. ‘I’m not surprised.’
&
nbsp; She was. He used to give her hell about being well off and having it easy. This showed that the awkward areas of their past were wrapped up and not to be aired again. Unless they were to get close enough to slip between the sheets one day, then the airing would be all about the few amazing times they had shared. ‘Thank you. Not many people know and I’d prefer it stays that way.’
‘I won’t be racing off to tell all and sundry,’ he assured her.
‘Good.’ She believed him. Her head felt lighter and she was smiling. Max wasn’t the devil she recalled. Had he ever been? Or had she been so focused on keeping him at arm’s length she’d been totally wrong about him? But she wasn’t good at reading men. Damned hopeless, actually.
Pulling her arm free, she shoved her hands in her jeans pockets and strolled into the building, pretending nonchalance every step of the way.
CHAPTER FOUR
WHAT MORE DO I really want out of life? Lily wondered as she sat before the fire in her lounge later that night. Love. Yes. A child. Yes. Once she’d settled into the Remuera Medical Hub and had created a place amongst other focused medical practitioners she’d follow through on that.
She wanted family, badly. Children were essential to life. Growing up ensconced with loving parents and brothers who gave so much to each other had taught her lots about living and caring. When she and Leo had got engaged, she’d naturally thought he’d want the same. He adored his family, yet when he left he’d said she’d misunderstood, that he wasn’t ready to be a father, might never be. Had she ever understood him? Breaking up had hurt, yet her biggest regret was the lost opportunity to have children. Had she done Leo a disservice by accepting his love when it was now obvious she hadn’t loved him enough?
A phone ringing cut through the quiet of the house. Max? Why would it be? He wasn’t a friend to call for the sake of it. Digging around the armchair cushion, her fingers wrapped around the phone. ‘Charlotte, how’s things?’
Her friend laughed. ‘Nothing out of the usual, I’m afraid. All rather boring really.’
‘So you rang me for some entertainment?’ Lily’s attempt to laugh fell flat.
‘I want to hear all about Dr Bryant. I presume you’ve seen him at the camp.’
In the background Lily could hear Charlotte pouring liquid. ‘Wine or tea?’ What was she going to say? She usually told her closest friend everything, but... But what? It wasn’t as though she had anything to hide.
‘Tea. Come on, spill.’
Lily drew a breath. ‘I told him my role in the camp.’
‘Knew I should’ve poured a wine.’ Then, ‘Why? I set up the trust in a way it would be very hard for anyone to find out and you tell the one man sure to give you a hard time, and maybe let it slip to others? As your lawyer I’m saying that was not your brightest move, Lily.’
‘And as my friend?’ Had she been testing Max to see if he had changed as much as she was beginning to suspect? If so, she’d chosen the wrong subject for that. Lily waited.
‘What did he say?’ Charlotte asked.
‘He wasn’t surprised and won’t tell others. I believe him on both counts.’ He had sounded genuine. ‘Max is not the man I once worked with. He doesn’t appear to be looking for ways to prove he’s better than anyone else, for one.’
‘What about the man you slept with?’
No idea. ‘No getting away from our past. Anyway, let’s drop this. I can’t undo what I said, and frankly I doubt there’s any need. I feel I can trust Max.’ It was in the way he listened to her without rolling his eyes, as if to say, ‘Yeah, right’, in his ready acceptance of her for who she was now. Not that he knew much about what had gone on over the past years, but that’s why she felt he had become a more trustworthy man.
‘There’s another way of looking at this. Someone, one day, is bound to find out you funded setting up the camp. These things happen, though we have got this one pretty tight. But we’re not the only people who know and a slip of the tongue is all it takes.’
Lily pictured her grandmother lying in her hospital bed, smiling as Lily outlined what she wanted to do with her share of her inheritance. In a way it had been an uncomfortable moment as it had underlined what lay ahead for Granny. The pneumonia had taken hold and it had only been a matter of time. Lily had spent many hours at her bedside when work hadn’t been taking up her time. Telling Max had reminded her of that day, and the sense of doing the right thing that had gripped her and become a passion that never let up.
‘I was clearing the air between us, laying the past to rest. We’re going to be working together, and I want a clean slate.’
She also wanted to learn more about him. Like what had happened to his determination to be a top-notch surgeon? What had caused those dark shadows to fill his eyes in the middle of a conversation? Whenever she saw them an urge overtook her to hug him, tell him he’d be fine.
Charlotte broke into her meanderings. ‘So, tell, is Max still as good looking as he used to be?’
Lily grinned. ‘No. He’s better. A hunk, in an older, more subdued way, like he’s finally comfortable in his own body. There’re shiny silvery grey streaks in his hair, which he doesn’t hide, more like wears them as a badge for something he’s dealt with.’ Charlotte would be loving this. ‘He doesn’t rush in to be the hero when someone’s in need of a doctor. We had an incident this morning when my neighbour had a stroke, and we worked well together.’
‘Whoa. Am I really hearing this?’ Charlotte teased. ‘Seems you’re starting to like him. Your voice softens when you say his name. You sure you aren’t in the market for a romance?’
‘Very certain.’ Lily crossed her fingers. Had she just lied? Max was changing her mind about a few things. ‘Becoming friends is one thing, falling for him something else.’ But unwittingly he had ticked the sincere and kind boxes she needed filled if she were ever to take another chance on romance. What was she thinking? Sure, she wanted to find love, but equally she wasn’t going to risk being hurt again.
‘She protests too much, methinks,’ Charlotte said quietly. ‘Be careful, Lily. You might be over Leo, but you’re still vulnerable. I know you’ve got the position you want, and would love nothing more than to be a mother, but take your time, especially over Max.’
It felt good knowing Charlotte had her back. ‘Thanks for being there and understanding.’
‘As if you don’t return the favour,’ Charlotte said before hanging up.
Lily unwound herself from the chair and went in search of a can of soup. If only she’d hooked up with a man who understood her and accepted her for who she was, instead of the two she’d known, she might not be on a solo path for a family. An image of Max filled her mind, his eyes sad and body slumped. The new Max, the one she couldn’t help but like already.
They’d talked about having kids. Did he want the same things? Was he looking for love? Had he changed so much he no longer did the short flings and walk-away routine? Wait. She sucked a short, sharp breath. Had Max been in love and had his heart broken? It stood to reason that might have happened. Despite his previous playboy rep, if Max had fallen for a woman, it would’ve been with one hundred percent focus.
The sort of love she’d twice thought she’d found, and given. Only now she understood she hadn’t loved either man anywhere nearly as much as she’d believed. Or she had, and now wanted something deeper and stronger, a love that knew no boundaries and didn’t falter at the first hurdle.
Only since coming in contact with Max again had this realisation dawned.
She had loved both men, in turn, and hadn’t been enough to keep either of them. She might not be the right person to get married and live happily ever after. No, she would not accept that. She was loving, cared deeply for the people important to her, and would do anything to make them happy.
As she fully intended to do for her child should she have one.
A te
xt landed in her phone.
Hi, Auntie Lily. I had a great day. Loves ya, J.
Lily’s heart melted.
Loves you too. See you tomorrow. xxx
She wasn’t expected to turn up at the camp daily, but she’d go and see Josie.
And Max.
* * *
‘Catch, Auntie Lily.’
Lily spun around, scanning the space between her and where Josie’s shout had come from, and saw an object hurtling towards her. Snatching the basketball out of the air, she hurled it to the boy on the same side of the net as Josie.
A whistle blew. ‘Foul.’ Max grinned. ‘Intervention from the sideline.’
‘Yes,’ shouted the teens on the opposing side, and one ducked underneath to retrieve the ball rolling their way.
‘Spoilsport.’ Lily laughed.
Max shook his head, grinning happily. ‘You think I want to be nailed to the ground and have this lot riding over me in their wheelchairs?’
‘Now, there’s an idea,’ she retorted. ‘What’s the score?’
‘Five all.’
‘Right, come on, guys. Let’s whip their backsides,’ she called to Josie and her partner.
Josie fist pumped. ‘Yeah, let’s.’
Max nodded to the other team. ‘Come on, give it to them, you two.’
Lily watched the girl balance on her prosthetic leg and swing her fist at the ball. The bravery these children showed melted her heart. Their strength was almost inherent. Her hand rested on her stomach briefly. Children were amazing. Her gaze slipped sideways. Max was engrossed in the game, giving himself over to the kids. Father material. Absolutely, but for her child? Unlikely. They were getting on fine but it would be a huge leap, one she was not ready for by any stretch of the imagination. So why did the idea keep popping up?
‘Yippee,’ Josie yelled. ‘Six to us.’
Kids on the sidelines shouted enthusiastically.