“Right, because that’s Jeremy Wyatt’s MO.” Was that bitterness in his tone? No way.
“Okay, well I’ll talk to you later.” My words were split by a gigantic yawn.
Jeremy put on his coat from where he had chucked it on the couch when he arrived. “I think we should take the night off. You look ready to keel over.”
He followed me out into the hallway, waiting while I locked up. My stomach clenched at his words. “Oh, you don’t want to hang out tonight?” It’s not as if I expected him to come over, but he usually did. Now he was saying we should take a night off?
“Yeah, I think we could both use a full night’s sleep, don’t you think?” Why did it feel as if he was making an excuse? Why was I reading so much into his innocent suggestion?
“You don’t have to act as if you’re doing it for me. If you don't want to see me tonight, just say so. It won’t hurt my feelings,” I grumbled, trying not to stomp down the steps.
“I’m not trying to save your feelings, Ducate, chill out. But you look like hell—”
“Wow, you sure know how to make me feel good about myself,” I bit out. This conversation was going downhill fast. I wrapped my scarf around my neck and braced myself against the frigid early December air. The sky was flat white and looked like snow. Normally the prospect of winter weather made me giddy, but I was too busy feeling insecure.
“Stop biting my head off because I’m trying to be a nice guy,” Jeremy replied sharply, following me to my car. I noticed his car wasn’t in the parking lot. Then I remembered how drunk he had been when he showed up in the early hours. He had probably gotten a cab over. I should ask if he needed a ride, but he was pissing me off.
“Don’t try to be something you’re not, Jeremy,” I spit out. I was being nasty, but I couldn’t stop myself. It was like an alien had taken over my body and using my mouth to spew hateful bullshit. I was feeling overly emotional and I could only attribute it to my lack of sleep.
“Damn, Ducate, that almost hurt.” He bared his teeth in a fierce smile that was anything but amused.
“So, if you’re not coming over here, where are you going?” Sheesh, I sounded like an accusing wife. The layered suspicion was sickening. I opened the driver’s side door and turned back to him. He had his hands shoved in the pockets of his wool pea coat. His thick, dark hair had dried into messy spikes that lay across his forehead. He looked positively delectable.
“What are you implying, Marlena?” His voice was as cold as the air.
I got in my car and slammed the door. He stood there watching me, a mixture of frustration and hurt on his face. I rolled down my window and leaned out. “Tell Sheila, or Greta, or whoever, I said hi.” It was petty and immature, but I couldn’t help it because no matter how many times we had sex or how often we saw each other, it didn’t change who he was and what this thing was between us.
Jeremy opened his mouth—probably to tell me to go to hell—but I drove away before I could hear what he had to say.
I felt horrible.
Worse than horrible.
And completely irrational.
What was wrong with me?
**
“There’s our girl.” My mother stood up from the table so she could envelop me in a warm, vanilla-scented hug. There was something about my mom’s hugs that made me feel like a little girl all over again.
“Hi, Mom.” I buried my face in her hair, wanting to cry. I bit down on my lip so I wouldn’t. I was a jangled torrent of emotions and they had everything to do with the gorgeous man I had left on my sidewalk. Why was I getting so worked up because he said it looked as if I needed a good night’s sleep? He was right. So why did it hurt so much that he didn’t want to see me?
I wasn’t even thinking rationally. I had to get a grip. This wasn’t like me at all.
I broke away from my mother’s arms and turned to my dad who had come around the table for his own hug. My dad was a big bear of a man and he always hugged like he was trying to crack a rib or two, but he was the gentlest person I knew.
“Darling, you look horrible,” Mom gasped once we were seated. She poured me a glass of orange juice and I ordered a black coffee.
“I’m just tired, Mom.” I waved away her fussy hands.
“Doesn’t she look awful, Tom?” Marion Ducate turned to her husband for validation and of course, he’d give it. He’d give her anything she asked for.
“You do look worn out, pumpkin,” Dad commented, sipping on his coffee.
“Is Adam overworking you? He shouldn’t be doing that. You’re his sister,” Mom exclaimed with indignation.
“Mom, he’s my boss. He can’t treat me with any special consideration. He’s treating me the way he’d treat any other junior associate. Don’t go telling him off.” I wagged my finger at her. “Promise.”
She threw her hands up. “Fine. But I don’t think it’s right. You’re only a young girl—”
“Who is more than capable of taking care of herself,” I cut in, but softened my tone so as to not upset her. “But thank you for looking out for me.”
She put her hand over mine. “Of course, it’s what moms do.” She peered at me closely, giving me her maternal examination. “Are you sure there’s not something else wrong? You’re not running a fever, are you? You look so peaked.” She put the back of her hand against my forehead.
“No fever, Mom. I’m just not getting enough sleep.” I was thankful when the waitress arrived to take our breakfast orders. Mom had of course chosen The Dandelion Hotel for brunch. She said it was the only place in Southport that served a decent Bloody Mary.
“Maybe it’s time to stop partying so much, especially now that you’re a working professional,” Mom scolded. “Your dad and I ran into Hannah the other day. She says she saw you the other night for drinks.”
I tensed. What else did my blabbermouth best friend tell my parents?
I waited, but Mom didn’t say anything else, so I relaxed.
“Working on any interesting cases?” My dad asked.
“Not really. Just a few misdemeanor cases. A vandalism charge and a probation violation. Nothing too exciting, but I’m enjoying it. Even if I’m elbowed deep in paperwork all day.” Dad and I shared a grin.
“Vandalism? Are you representing those kids that knocked over the founder’s statue?” Mom asked, aghast.
“That’s the one,” I told her, amused by her horror.
“But Marlena, they’re criminals. What they did was wrong! Did you know that it cost the town more than $2,000 to fix that statue? Why would you take a case like that?” She shook her head in seeming disappointment.
“Well, Adam took the case, so ask him. I’m simply doing my job. Remember, Mom, everyone has the right to a defense.” I put the cloth napkin on my lap and dug into my Eggs Benedict. I took a bite and my stomach rolled again. The smell of the hollandaise was making me want to hurl. I put my fork down and took a drink of coffee, but it tasted bitter.
What was wrong with me today?
“Marion, you know how it goes. You went through this with Adam. You’re not always going to agree with the cases they take. And Lena is right, those boys have the right to a good attorney,” Dad interjected.
Mom sighed. “You’re right, of course. I’m sorry, Marlena, I didn’t mean to make you feel bad about doing your job.” She looked contrite. My mother was a sweet woman—an opinionated woman—but sweet.
“Changing the subject, Meg came by to show me the flowers she had chosen for the wedding. September 23rd is going to be here before you know it. She says she’s going to call you to talk bridesmaid dresses and get your input. She has some lovely ideas for the color scheme,” Mom enthused.
I tried to take another bite of my breakfast, but my stomach wasn’t having it. Normally I would have devoured it in minutes. There was definitely something off with me today. Perhaps Jeremy was right about needing a good night’s sleep. I was feeling like a jerk for being awful about his rather kind su
ggestion. He was only thinking about me. Would I have felt better if he didn’t care how I was feeling at all, and only thought of getting some?
I’d have to apologize. And I really hated apologizing.
“Yeah, Meg messaged me yesterday with a link to some dresses. I haven’t had a chance to look at them yet.” Honestly, Meg and Adam’s wedding wasn’t high on my list of priorities. I was stoked they were tying the knot after all this time. Meg was the closest thing to a sister I’d ever had, and once she married my brother, she’d finally be family for real.
But my head was all mixed up in work and more work.
And Jeremy freaking Wyatt.
“Adam mentioned Whitney is working as a receptionist at the office now. How’s that going? June is worried about her, you know. Whitney won’t say why she decided to move back home. She had such a successful career in Hollywood. It seems strange for her to give that up,” Mom prodded some more.
“Um, I don’t really know. Whitney keeps to herself, but she’s good at her job.” I felt guilty for not talking to Whitney Galloway more. Her mother June was Mom’s best friend and her sister Meg was marrying my brother. I had known Whit my whole life. I had worshipped her when I was younger, thinking her so cool, and she always had time for me.
But since she had moved back to Southport, there was something different about her. She kept her head down and did her job, leaving at the end of the day. She was efficient and reliable, which is what we needed from an administrative assistant. Sure, we had talked, but I realized now how superficial those conversations had been. I felt like even more of an ass for not taking the time to see how things were with my old friend.
“Oh, well, I’m glad to hear she’s doing well at the law firm,” Mom said with some displeasure, obviously hoping I’d be able to provide some insight.
We finished up our breakfast. I forced down a few bites so my parents wouldn’t pester me about why I wasn’t eating.
“Are the Eggs Benedict not up to their usual standard?” Dad asked, taking a bite. “Tastes good to me.”
“I’m just not that hungry this morning,” I said.
“You need to take better care of yourself, Marlena. You’re young, but you still need to take it easy sometimes,” Mom lectured.
“I know, Mom. I’ll rest up this weekend,” I assured her. Especially since it didn’t seem that my usual fuck buddy would be coming around.
As we were leaving the hotel, Mom pulled me in for another hug. “We’re making plans for the holidays. I’ve invited June and Whitney round for both Christmas Eve and Christmas dinner,” she informed me, once she let me go.
“Of course,” I replied, not surprised. We spent most holidays with Meg’s family and had for years.
“Meg and Adam have asked to invite Skylar and Kyle as well. Is there anyone you’d like to invite? Hannah and Jenna?” Mom asked, pulling my wool cap down over my head as we walked outside.
I had been right that the sky looked like snow. White fluffs of precipitation were drifting down, settling on the ground.
“They’ll be with their families,” I said, pulling my keys out of my purse.
Mom had a funny look on her face. “No special fella you want to ask?”
I stilled. “What are you talking about? You know I’m not seeing anyone.” Was my voice too high? Did I sound convincing?
Mom pursed her lips and glanced at my dad. Sometimes I hated their unspoken conversations that were most likely about me. “Hannah mentioned you were seeing someone. She didn’t say who, just that you’d been busy with a man.”
I wanted to groan in frustration. Of course, Hannah said something. I should have known she’d never be able to keep it to herself. At least she hadn’t mentioned who the man was. Thank god for small favors!
“Well, Hannah has a big mouth,” I muttered.
Mom gave me her eagle-eyed look. “So, it’s true?”
I shrugged. “I’m not seeing anyone seriously if that’s what you’re asking. Definitely not someone I’d invite to a family Christmas dinner.”
I felt a pang deep down. I wouldn’t analyze what it meant. Not now. Not ever.
Mom appeared crestfallen. “Oh, okay. I was only hoping you’d found some nice man to share your time with. You’re too wonderful to be alone.”
I laughed. “Mom, I’m quite happy being on my own.”
Right?
She kissed my cheek and Dad hugged me one last time. I left with a promise to come to their house next week for dinner.
And I returned to my empty apartment, hating the loneliness. Missing the man who had vacated it only hours before.
I pulled out my phone and sent him a quick apology. Because he deserved it after my shitty attitude.
I waited for him to message me back. And waited. And waited.
When it didn’t come, I felt even worse.
It didn’t matter. I didn’t need Jeremy Wyatt. I didn’t need anyone.
I was such a goddamn liar.
Chapter 13
Jeremy
I left Marlena’s thoroughly pissed off. What the hell was her problem? Where had the jealous shrew act come from? I thought we were past that.
Of course, I wanted to see her tonight. I wanted to see her every night. But she looked like death and I was starting to worry that our frequent late nights were taking their toll. She was working hard at the office, refusing to let anyone help her out. She gave so much of herself to everyone. I was concerned that there wasn’t enough left for her.
So, when I made my suggestion to take a night off, I did it because, damn it, I cared about her. I hated seeing her sick and worn out. I thought I was being a selfless guy. But she took it the wrong way. I would have expected that a month ago but we had been spending enough time together that I thought she knew me better than that.
I guess I overestimated our intimacy.
Was there intimacy? We had been so adamant that we were only fucking. And we did a lot of that. But there were other times when it felt different. Over time it wasn’t just about sex, though that was still a huge component. Sometimes we laughed together and man that felt good. We had dinner together—always behind closed doors, of course. We even watched TV together.
I had been embarrassed to share such a maudlin story of my childhood, but she hadn’t fussed over me after I told her about never watching TV as a kid. Instead, she insisted I binge watch her favorite show with her. It felt like she was sharing something with me that went deeper than giving me her body.
Yet here I was, once again, on the receiving end of her rage, because of a stupid misunderstanding. Yeah, I was angry. Mostly because she was so off the mark it wasn’t even funny. Did she really think I was making an excuse not to see her just so I could get with some other woman? Did she think I was still sleeping around? I told her I wasn’t. That she was the only person I was sleeping with.
It’s not like it was a hardship. I had no desire to be with anyone but her. Marlena Ducate was all I thought about. She was all I wanted.
Shit, she was everything.
When had that happened? When had she gone from being a great lay to the most important person in my life?
That posed a pretty significant problem. And it had everything to do with the guy who we both respected and cared about—though I’d never tell him that to his face.
I got back to my apartment and let myself inside. It was too quiet. I could never handle boredom well. I went back to the spare bedroom that I had turned into a home gym and started pumping iron.
Once my muscles started to burn and I was sweating like crazy, I stopped. I showered. I changed into a pair of jeans and a T-shirt. Then I stood in my living room realizing I hated the quiet. I didn’t want to be here, and Lena somewhere else.
Her accusation this morning bothered me. A lot. I didn’t want her doubting me. I didn’t want her questioning us.
There is no us, you idiot.
I grabbed my phone and dialed Todd’s number. I hadn’t sp
oken to him except for a bounced text here and there since the night I dragged him out to the club. We were friends from high school and he and Derek were the only two connections I kept from my teenage years. It wasn’t exactly a time in my life I wanted to remember, but Todd and Derek were good guys and they had kept me sane when things at home had been particularly rough.
Todd had married his high school sweetheart, Liz, right after graduation. They had three children, including a two-month-old. I had been the dutiful friend and sent Todd and Liz a basket of baby stuff, but I hadn’t seen the tiny human yet. Babies weren’t really my thing. It was all the drooling and shitting and spitting up. Honestly, babies were pretty gross.
“Hey, man, how’s it going?” Todd asked when he answered the phone. He sounded tired, but Todd always sounded tired. He worked as a laborer for his dad’s construction company, which didn’t allow much time for rest and relaxation.
“You free tonight? I could really blow off some steam,” I said, feeling antsy.
I heard a muffled sound on the other end that sounded like he had covered the receiver. A few seconds later he was back. “I don’t think so. Liz needs my help with Dominic.”
“Dominic?” I asked.
“Uh, yeah. My son. Remember? The one that was only born two and a half months ago?” Todd sounded annoyed. I didn’t blame him. That was pretty dickish of me.
“Right. Of course, I know it’s your son. I was joking.” I forced a laugh. “But come on. Beg Liz. I’ll come over and beg Liz,” I pleaded. “I really need to get my mind off some stuff.”
Todd snorted in my ear. “Figures,” he muttered.
“Whoa, what was that for?” I demanded. What the hell was up his ass?
“Getting your mind off stuff is Wyatt code for I’ve screwed over some woman and need to run far, far away,” Todd shot back.
“Okay, I get that I may have called at a bad time, but there’s no need to be an ass,” I retorted, feeling myself get defensive.
Probably because my oldest friend was right.
Say You Love Me : An Enemies to Lovers Romance Page 17