CHAPTER 14: QUESTIONS
The shower was refreshing. No. More than that, really—it was divine. Though we were on the run, it didn’t feel like it. After every misfortune that had occurred, it was incredible to be able to stand under a hot stream of water and feel as if all my troubles were draining away. My muscles were tense, and the heat helped me relax. I never thought I’d be so ecstatic to see hotel shampoo and soap. The whole process felt so necessary for me—so critical. Even though I had to put my dirty clothes back on, it was still wonderful to have clean skin.
Andrew, on the other hand, found the whole experience more entertaining than rejuvenating. After I explained the concept of the shower, he played with it for a good thirty minutes before the novelty wore off and he actually showered. When I checked on him, the curtain was pulled and the bathroom was soaked in water. He hummed brightly. I bit my lip to stifle my giggle. It was hard to believe, in that moment, that he was an ascended being.
When he finally came out with his clothes sticking to his skin, he looked like he had just climbed out of a swimming pool. All I could do was laugh.
It was nearly one in the morning when we were finally dressed and presentable, but the hotel’s restaurant stayed open until two, so we were safe.
D’oliva Lounge was mainly a bar, but there were tables and booths away from the loud music and the gyrating of the highly intoxicated patrons. We enjoyed watching them in our sober states from afar. When a waitress came to our table, I ordered a hamburger, fries, and a soda for each of us. It wasn’t as though this place had fancy food, especially at this hour of the evening.
“Andrew?”
He had been watching the men playing their guitars on stage, but when I spoke over the music, his head snapped in my direction as if I was much more appealing than everything else. “Yes?” He bent forward.
“Tell me what it was like before.”
“Let’s see,” he began. “My brothers and I protected and guarded mankind, and the Ladies of Light protected the two thousand angels in the world.”
This was news to me.
“We gave assignments, along with the Ladies of Light, to protect humans. That’s how we claimed the title of angel. We were always saving the day in flamboyant ways, something we quit doing as the world aged.”
I felt a great wave of remorse for him, losing his life for so many years, unable to see the world grow old.
“My rankings were high, and I trained Guardians for new tasks. As the talk of angels died down, we had to become more covert.”
“What about family? Were you in love or married?” I asked as nonchalantly as possible.
He shook his head. “I have my brothers and my friends. My parents died when we were mortals.” He frowned, deep in thought. “I tried courting a few angels, but there were none that I could live with for forever. There was one human who I loved deeply, but she died during the plague. After that loss, I never tried to love again. It’s too difficult to lose someone you sincerely love and care for.”
We were silent for a few seconds. “I’ve never really found someone to love, so I wouldn’t know how that feels,” I mumbled.
He placed his warm hand over mine. “Well,” he replied, smiling, “I really care about you.”
I was surprised he had even heard me over the music. I giggled—literally giggled. Trying to alleviate his penetrating gaze, I asked, “Where do angels live when they aren’t out saving the day?”
His smile grew. “We live all over the place. The last place I remember was Italy—back home. But before that it was Africa and China. I stayed in Greece for quite some time. It’s easy to go from one place to the next so angels don’t always have to live together. Being around each other for thousands of years can become highly irritating after a while.” He chuckled at a thought he must have had. “We suggest to Guardians and other angels that they mingle with humans to have human experiences and enjoy life as much as possible, which most do, immensely so. Those who don’t change and become cold and cruel.”
I nodded, taking it all in.
“You were part of the Halo of the Sun?” I prodded, remembering the quick argument he had with Karen before the FBI took them away. I’d been brought into this mysterious world of awe and terror all in a matter of hours, but finally I felt like I might get some answers.
He nodded slowly. His eyes stared into mine, but he seemed to be off in another universe. “We were trusted,” he reminisced, “and loved by all. It was a great honor to ascend to that level.” He heaved a great sigh of regret.
“Tell me about the Shadow of the Sun,” I requested. The memory of the Shadow looming over me, warning me, still sent shivers down my spine.
His face grew grave, his eyes hard. “It had always been a myth among my kind. Before we became immortal, the story was told to us at bed time when we were children.”
“But you believed it?” I canvassed.
He raised an eyebrow. “Gabriella,” he said against my ear as he placed his hand tenderly over mine on the table. His breath in my ear sent my body into sensory overload, while his touch sent electricity shooting through me—a warming, tingling feeling. Was he trying to be seductive? If so, it was working.
I snuck a peek at his face. He didn’t appear to be intentionally seducing me, but any second I was going to melt into his touch. We leaned close to each other. Perhaps he was just leaning in to keep our conversation private and to hear me over the blaring music. He didn’t have to move far considering we sat next to each other at the small round table.
“Listen,” he continued, completely oblivious to my incoherent state. “It must be a lot to take in—being the Illuminator—but I’m here to help you in every way possible. I’ll protect you on your journey.”
I pulled back to look him full in the face before I swooped like a bird of prey on his words. “Journey?” I felt so lost. This whole world, and everything he said, was just so new.
“Do you have those keys on you?”
My fingers automatically reached for my pocket. I felt a small bump. I nodded and put my hand in my pocket.
“Wait,” he protested. “Let’s eat first.”
That wasn’t anti-climatic at all. I didn’t like the idea of eating first, but just as I was about to voice my opinion, the waitress returned with our food and drinks.
Andrew gave the waitress a half smile, and she blushed brilliantly before turning and scuttling away. I could understand how she was feeling. One look at his angelic smile and I had melted too. He grabbed a fry and held it up, staring with a flicker of curiosity on his face. “What is this?”
“Fried potato.”
He looked as though the idea was ludicrous, but he didn’t hesitate before he stuffed the whole thing in his mouth. He chewed a few times before looking at me, his eyes wide. “It’s amazing,” he exclaimed, and then he grabbed three more.
I laughed at his expression. “Slow down, you’re going to choke.”
With a little nudge, I pushed his soda toward him without thinking. He ignored the straw and drank swiftly. Then he stopped, put the glass down, and stared at me with a genuinely eccentric expression on his face. He covered his mouth and burped.
I burst out laughing at him, unable to keep a straight face.
“Scusami,” he said in Italian. He paused for a second then grabbed for the drink again, this time with even more pleasure. You’d think I had given him a small sip of liquid heaven.
I watched him devour his food for several minutes, but there was definitely a sense of jittery anticipation in the air. Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore. I had so many questions building up behind my lips, begging to be answered. Words just burst from my mouth. “What journey?”
Andrew stopped mid-swoop for another French fry. Ignoring my question, he asked, “How did you find out you were the one? The Darkness Illuminator?”
“It’s sort of a complicated story,” I said, and then told him all about how he and the other two angels h
ad been sent to my lab for critical analysis, and how Karen had arrived, infiltrated within the FBI. I told him about the necklace, the chest with the Shadow of the Sun symbol, the keys, and the fact that it was supposed to be impossible to remove them. Then I mentioned that a Shadow had attacked me in my office.
“I was so scared. His eyes were on fire and though his hands weren’t touching me, it was like the darkness had collapsed around me and was squeezing the life force out of me. It was terrifying—” I broke off, remembering the Shadow’s warnings. Earlier, I hadn’t been able to tell Karen, but I knew I could trust Andrew with my life. “He spoke to me—warned me. He told me not to wake the angels.”
Andrew dropped the hamburger and gave me a calculating stare, as if he was measuring me up. “This isn’t good.” He looked aghast, even slightly unhinged.
I blanched at what he might mean. “What isn’t?”
His face quickly changed to a serene mask. “It’s time we go back to the room. We need to talk without this noise.”
Lamps sprang to life around us as if giving us permission to leave; it was the last call for alcohol. We pushed aside what was left of our food. I placed money on the table, not waiting for the check. Andrew seized the twenty-dollar bill and stared at it with great interest before replacing it and grabbing my hand. This was becoming a habit. That same zing of electricity shot between us. He didn’t even flinch. Instead, he smirked—a little amused, a little pleased.
The silence in the elevator was deafening and continued to coil for several immeasurable moments before the doors slid open, and the third-floor hallway spread out before us. We quickly made our way to our room.
Inside, Andrew sat on the bed and looked at me expectantly. He knew I was about to bombard him with questions. I thought I had every right to ask those questions and to receive the answers. So that I wouldn’t distract myself by being so close to him, I took a seat on the swivel chair at the desk.
“I’ll try to be good,” I conceded, “but there are things I have to know.” Questions were exploding in my mind like fireworks. Getting answers would be the only antidote.
“Let’s start with the Shadow of the Sun,” Andrew said. He sat up straight, as if propped against a wall.
I was immediately rapt with attention.
“Shadows have always been a myth,” he said. “But from the small amount of things that I can actually remember from before I . . . ended up here . . . there had always been rumors of attacks, of Shadows consuming angels.”
Horror rose inside of me. I liked Karen’s explanation better, the one I couldn’t understand. This one was all too clear. “What do you mean by ‘consume’?”
“They turn those full of light into Shadows. It’s a horrible way to end a Guardian’s existence. But, honestly, I’m not even sure I believe any of those stories.” Regardless of his words, his eyes showed a deep grief, and I wondered whom he had lost. “They aren’t the same once they’re changed.” His voice was soft, quiet. Sad.
“What do they want?” I asked quickly, trying to move past whatever he was seeing in his past.
“Their warnings are never clear,” he whispered. “Usually, they only cause harm. Angels aren’t afraid of the dark, but we’re creatures of light. We enjoy the sun. To be a Shadow is a curse.”
“Maybe you could try to remember why you, Ehno, and Lucia all had their symbol around your necks.” I thought for a second, crinkling my eyebrows together. “The Elders called it the Nebulous Sun.”
“Their symbol? I don’t remember them ever having a symbol. What did it look like?” He seemed honestly confused.
I reached out to him and pulled the golden chain out from under his shirt. I carefully unhooked it and held it out for him to see. He snatched it up and stared at it for a moment. Rage propelled him to his feet. His eyes widened wildly, dramatically, before turning into a hot molten gold. He swelled with some inexpressible anger.
“This”—he pointed furiously at the necklace, his tone like a whip cracking—“is not the Nebulous Sun.” His teeth came together, and for the first time I saw the extent of his great beauty and overwhelming power. He practically glowed with it. “This is the Guardian’s symbol.” His voice seethed with his incandescent rage—deadly. He squeezed the necklace in his hand before he dropped it unceremoniously to the desk.
During his outburst, I had shrunk back into the chair and became rigid, frozen with fear. His skin still glowed with his ire. When he glanced down at me, his eyes cooled and his expression turned into horror.
“Oh, no,” he gasped, a note of anxiety in his voice, as he knelt down in front of me. “This isn’t your fault. You’re innocent.” All his fury dissolved into alarm. “Maybe this is why you’re here now. Why I was sent to you.”
He looked down at the maroon carpet. When he spoke again, his voice was dark, cryptic. “Someone has been telling lies.” In the silence that followed, his shoulders moved with his breathing, which was slowing to a normal pace. “I’m not sure who’s doing this, but there’s something very wrong. I knew it when Karen said there had never been a Halo of the Sun. And I knew it when I found out you were the Illuminator.”
I didn’t respond, letting him think. He took in a deep breath and let it out before finally looking up to meet my eyes. The golden irises were hard, but his voice was soft—calming and soothing. “Let me see the keys now.” He held out his hand. His expression was carefully cultivated into a tranquil expression, though I could easily see through his charade.
I reached into my pocket and pulled out the two keys. The symbols on the ends glistened beneath the lamplight. They spread out on my palm. Andrew leaned over to see them for himself. His finger smoothly traced the two crossed arrows. An electric current grew between us.
“This,” he whispered, pulling his finger away when the current intensified, “is the Definitive Sun. It symbolizes angelic protection against our enemies. It’s the symbol of the Ladies of Light. The Halo of the Sun bestows the Guardian symbol—not the Nebulous Sun—to the males who are protectors of mankind. The shield represents the protection of the light from all who wish to diminish it.”
“Does Karen have one of these?” I pointed toward one of the keys. “You know, because she’s my Guardian?”
“She’s your Guardian,” he stated simply, as if that answered everything. “Normally you would be guarded by a male, since all Guardians are male, but I suppose you’re different—special—and you deserve protection from someone more powerful. But sometimes the symbol isn’t on a key or necklace. Sometimes it’s branded into your skin.”
When I didn’t reply, his golden eyes shot up to see my expression. I let the silence spiral for a moment. “You mean . . .”
“If she was branded,” he jumped in, “then she’s your Guardian for life. That’s very rare. But she would gladly have accepted a gift as generous as being the one to protect the Illuminator. It’s a great honor.”
For a second I swelled with pride before swallowing it down. “So—” I curled my hand around the keys and placed them on the desk “—what do these keys unlock?”
His dark hair fell forward some, and he pushed it back so he could see me clearly. His jaw tightened, then he said, “A library.”
“That’s all?” I was highly disappointed. “Is it like some super library that holds all the worlds’ secrets? Because I’d love to know who shot Kennedy.”
He coughed out a laugh. I was surprised he got the joke. “It holds our history,” he said. “It’s the Divine Library.”
“The Divine Library,” I repeated in awe. Now I was interested. “You mean your history since the beginning?”
He nodded slowly. “It’s odd that you would be sent these keys. They should have been kept safe by the Halo of the Sun, but if we have diminished . . .” He frowned, as if there was some painful internal struggle. “And how the Shadow of the Sun could have been attached to the chest, well, I can’t fathom what that means.”
I
struggled not to interrupt. I was interested to hear what he had to say, and I didn’t know how to put my question without angering him again. He was beautiful and mighty when angry but also terrifying. “Why would Karen and the Elders call the Guardian’s symbol a Shadow of the Sun symbol?” I prompted apologetically. My question sounded a little more pointed than I meant it to be.
The same rage flared behind his eyes, and he took a steadying breath and it disappeared. “I don’t know, but I plan to find out.” His voice was laced with threat. If I were the one responsible for all of this confusion, I knew I wouldn’t want to be on the receiving end of his wrath.
“Now that we covered the basics—”
“Your journey,” Andrew cut in, knowing exactly what I was going to ask, “has never been known. Zola, the prophetess, never explained much about the Illuminator’s journey. But there are pages about the Illuminator, and I’m sure that now there are many more than the last time I was around.”
“Pages? Like in a book? In the Divine Library?” I asked, my curiosity running on high.
“Yes, but the Divine Library is hidden deep within the mountains of Italy, near our old home. There are more precious treasures there then just books, but you have to possess both keys to enter.”
“I do have both keys,” I pointed out.
“No, you don’t,” he stated matter-of-factly. “One is for the library, the other is for something else.”
“And that would be?”
He picked up one of the keys. “I don’t know. This one isn’t for the library, but it’s definitely important if it was sent to you.”
I leaned my head back against the chair. “And why did you say ‘this isn’t good’ when I told you about the Shadow’s warning?”
Andrew pulled a strand of my hair away from my face. The gesture was sweet. Each second I fell in deeper.
“You’re tired. We should sleep.” He was trying to distract me.
“We will, after you tell me what you meant.”
“I’ll tell you if you get ready for bed. I won’t look,” he assured me, turning around.
Of course he wouldn’t; he was the perfect gentleman. And, of course, now that I had finally met a man who treated me how I deserved to be treated, it turns out he’s an angel and completely out of my league. I sighed under my breath and pulled my slacks and shirt off before slipping under the covers in my underwear. The sheets were freezing, and little goose bumps rose on my skin.
“Tell me,” I prompted.
He turned on his heel, faced me, and peeled his clothes off all the way down to the boxer briefs I had bought him. I meticulously surveyed every glorious inch of him. His skin was a lustrous golden brown, and I was right: he did have a six-pack. My cheeks heated. He sure did know how to make me blush.
He pulled a blanket out of the tiny closet and lay next to me on top of the covers. Head on the pillow, the rest of me had already curled up into a little ball. He propped himself up on his elbow and regarded me. I basked in his alluring hotness. Illuminator or not, I still had eyes.
He took a deep breath, as if he were about to tell a very long, complicated story. “The Ladies of Light come in cycles,” he began in a serious voice. “The cycle disperses power evenly throughout the years so that no single group of angels gains control for eternity.”
I nodded. “Like how the president only gets a four-year term and can only be elected for two terms in a row?”
“Yes,” he said approvingly. “Exactly like that. When the cycle is up, the Halo of the Sun and the Ladies of Light join together to help vote in the next leaders. This happens every one-hundred years for both groups.”
I yawned. “That’s fascinating, really, but it doesn’t explain your reaction.”
His hand traced the side of my cheek and electricity shot between us. I wondered if I would ever again be able to touch someone who wasn’t an immortal. Would my handshake burn someone to a crispy critter?
You’re delirious, Gabriella.
“You’re tired, I can tell. Rest. We can talk about this tomorrow.” He looked at me with quiet desperation.
It was tempting, but I thought I could hold my eyes open to hear this. Why was he trying to hold back on the information? Maybe it was something so awful he couldn’t fathom putting it into words. Like my death? I shuddered. Andrew mistook the reason and spread out his blanket to cover me too.
“Please tell me, and then I’ll go to sleep,” I promised, full of determination.
He reached above my head and flipped the lamp off. We were plunged into darkness. We stayed in motionless silence for a whole minute. I thought he wasn’t going to tell me, but he finally whispered, “When new leaders are chosen”—he took a deep breath, as if bracing himself—“they’re awakened.”
Don’t wake them, echoed in my head. The shock of Andrew’s statement, that the Shadow might have been warning me about other angels, lodged in my throat like a big rock. Everything that had seemed permanent and unquestionable was now thrown into doubt. Then a wave of penetrating cold broke over me.
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