by Drew Sera
“Uh, there. It’s all the way in,” I panted into the phone.
I felt so full, and my clit was incredibly swollen. With the guidance of J.P.’s dirty talk, I rubbed my clit until I came. I practically yelled in his ear.
“Now, remove the clothespins, princess,” he said.
I pulled one off and felt the throbbing pain intensify, which caused me to yell in his ear again.
“The other,” he directed.
His breathing had become more noticeable over the phone now, and his voice sounded raw. I could tell that he was stroking himself faster.
“Pull off that clothespin, Amy. I want to hear you.”
I carefully pulled it off and felt the aching throb but couldn’t contain my yelp.
“Fuck, yeah, Amy!” J.P. moaned followed by heavy breathing and a long pause. “Damn, Amy. That was so hot hearing you.”
“All I did was make noise and nearly scream in your ear,” I laughed.
“I know,” he said in that raw voice.
Then it dawned on me…he didn’t come from listening to me come necessarily. He came from hearing me cry out in discomfort.
Sadist.
“Oh, Amy,” J.P. sighed. “God, I want to do things to you that I’m not sure you can handle.”
Did it scare me or concern me?
Not in the least.
It should…but it didn’t.
Chapter 24
April
Amy
I ran my finger along the underside of my bracelet, so I could feel the words. She believed she could, so she did.
That phrase calms me down and reminds me that I’m doing what I was meant to do. At the announcement of the doors opening to the public, I sipped my Vanilla Coke.
“Ready?” Samantha asked me.
I nodded and smiled at her. I still hadn’t had a response from J.P. to the picture text I sent him a little while ago with me standing by my table.
I met a lot of fans and ended up hearing from J.P. around the early part of the afternoon when he got out of work.
“No, fucking way,” Samantha mumbled as I just finished signing a copy of Paris for a reader.
“What?” I asked her.
I followed where her eyes were focused. The guy that Sam and I thought might be a publisher was roaming around. He adjusted his glasses and walked toward my table. I was so curious about this guy now. This was the third event where I’ve seen him.
He stopped in front of the table and glanced at my books. The books that he’s seen each time at every event.
“Hello,” I greeted him.
He didn’t look at me but smiled as he adjusted his glasses again. He picked up a copy of Dark Kiss and thumbed through it, then turned it over to read the back of the book.
“That’s Amy’s newest release. Amy’s known for her sweet romances, but Dark Kiss is her debut dark romance,” Samantha said to him.
He nodded and handed me the book. He’s never had me sign a book, but while Sam collected the money from him, I took a chance and asked him anyhow.
“Would you like me to sign the book for you?” I asked.
To my surprise, he nodded. I smiled and looked at Sam as she handed me my book signing pen.
“Who shall I make the book out to?” I asked and flipped the book open.
“J.P.,” the man said.
I looked up as he removed his glasses. Oh, my, God. Everything seemed to stop moving in that moment for me. I thought back to the first book event that I saw him at and all our talks in between. He’s been with me the entire time. The sexy voice that had encouraged me on the phone and talked filthy to me on the phone brought me out of my utter daze.
“Princess.”
I was trying hard not to cry. Everything that I’ve shared with him…and he’s been with me at these events, cheering me on. I stood and walked around the table and wrapped my arms around him.
More tears fell from my eyes as his strong arms wrapped around me. I was in shock and could feel myself shaking. His embrace was strong yet comforting. And he smelled divine.
“Say something, princess.”
“My romantic sadist,” was all I could get out before crying again.
J.P. just held me against him and squeezed me.
“I know I’m not quite the Prince Charming you’ve been waiting for to show up, and it’s not going to be the fairytale ending you dreamed of, but it will be a happy ending…just like in Dark Kiss.”
I just wanted to disappear with him right now. There were so many things running through my head. I heard Sam moving around behind the table, and I pulled out of J.P.’s embrace.
“I’m sorry, J.P. this is Samantha. Sam, this is J.P.,” I introduced them. This moment didn’t feel real to me.
J.P. reached across the table and shook Samantha’s hand as they exchanged pleasantries.
“Pleasure to meet you, Samantha. Amy talks a lot about you. Thank you for keeping a good eye on her at these events and everything else you do.”
Samantha swatted her hand in the air.
“I love doing it,” she said and smiled at me.
I noticed that she pulled over another chair and raised her eyebrows at me.
“J.P., would you like to sit with us? There’s only about an hour left of the book event,” I said and motioned to the extra chair.
“I’d love to. And then I’d like to take the princess to dinner.”
“I’d like that a lot.”
Sam left us alone for a few minutes and went to get me another Vanilla Coke and J.P. a bottle of water.
“I still can’t believe you’re sitting right here,” I marveled as I looked at him.
He was very easy on the eyes.
“I have so many—” questions, I started to say but stopped when some fans approached the table.
I was talking to the small group of three ladies when Sam came back. Over my shoulder I could hear her talking to J.P. After the ladies left the table, I joined the conversation between Sam and J.P. just in time to hear Samantha say, “Congrats on getting Aims to take the toys up her ass.”
Lovely.
“What?” she asked and shrugged it off as an innocent party to the conversation.
I risked a glance at J.P., and he was smiling. He spoke to Sam but didn’t take his eyes off me.
“I keep telling her that anal toy play is perfectly natural, and it preps her for the real cock,” J.P. said.
Thankfully, they both stopped talking as a few more fans approached the table and purchased some books. But when they left, Sam and J.P. started it up again.
“She comes harder while we’re on the phone when she has a glass plug in versus a silicone plug,” J.P. informed Samantha.
The two of them laughed and had a fun time jabbing at me. The event came to a close and J.P. helped us pack everything up, and the three of us walked to the hotel lobby.
“Alright, so where are you kids going for dinner?” Sam asked.
I could tell that she was trying to have a private conversation with me, making sure that I was okay going out alone with him. I absolutely was. I had so much to ask him.
“If you’re going to be out late, text me, Aims,” she said.
I nodded and promised that I would. Ryan found us, and we introduced him to J.P. I prayed that Ryan wouldn’t make some ass fucking comment or mention how much I enjoyed the butt toys. Thankfully he kept that to himself.
“Amy, have a great time with your romantic sadist,” she said as she hugged me. “Mr. J.P. Fever, be good to her,” she warned.
Ryan took her hand, and they headed off in one direction, and I turned to face J.P.
“Sorry about all that. Bet you didn’t think you were meeting my parents tonight,” I joked as I gestured over my shoulder at Samantha and Ryan walking in the opposite direction.
“She cares about you and is just watching over you.” He reached out and took hold of my hand. “Now, what are you in the mood to eat? We have a lot to talk about.”
I looked around the casino trying to see if there was a nearby restaurant.
“I don’t know. You pick.”
“How about something away from the Strip?”
I nodded and walked alongside him to the valet. He handed the valet attendant his ticket, and he squeezed my hand. Soon, a black Challenger pulled up with Las Vegas plates that said “Fever” on them.
Oh, my God…he actually lives here. My mind was reeling. It was quickly dawning on me that there’s just so much I don’t know. When he squeezed my hand, I looked up at him.
“Relax, princess. I’ll answer the million questions you’re formulating.”
I smiled at him, and he pulled the passenger door opened for me. As we pulled out onto the famous Las Vegas Boulevard, he decided to tackle the task of answering my questions.
“Is steak okay for dinner?” he asked.
“Yes, that sounds fine.”
“I know you have lots on your mind, so fire at will, Amy.”
I had to get my bearings straight. First thing, our immediate surrounding.
“You live here?”
“I do.”
“I know we never talked about it, but I assumed you lived in the Southern California area.”
“Before we continue, and we will continue, I want you to know that I have never lied to you about anything.”
Oh, good to know…except for his “not mine yet” women.
“Is your dungeon here in Las Vegas or in Southern California?”
“It’s here.”
I nodded.
“Your last name isn’t really Fever, is it?”
He laughed that sexy laugh. The same one that I’ve been hearing on the phone since January.
“No, princess. It’s Fielding. Your real last name is?” he prompted.
Of course, he had a ton of questions too. We were both in the same boat.
“Johnson. Amy Johnson.”
I needed to settle myself down and steer away from the third degree for a few minutes.
“How do you like living in Las Vegas?”
That seemed like a normal enough question. One that people might ask as they’re getting to know someone else.
“I love it here. This city has an incredible nightlife, tons of entertainment, and the weather is gorgeous,” he said enthusiastically as we pulled up to the restaurant.
After we ordered, we settled back into our twenty questions conversation.
“So, what else, Amy?”
“I’m thinking. I’m sorry, I’m just on a bit of an overload right now.”
“I understand. Please understand that I’m not here to push or pressure you into anything.”
“Why today? I mean, you’ve traveled to San Diego and across the country to see me, yet you never said much at all. So why today?”
He took a deep breath and leaned forward, resting his forearms on the table.
“It felt right to me. I know we’ve been talking for many months now and our conversations have gotten downright intimate and personal.” He paused, as if debating to say what was on the tip of his tongue, but he continued. “I tried so hard not to want you the way that I do. I know that I am darker than you even realize yet. I’m not the Prince Charming you wrote all those love stories about. But when I discovered that Rebecca from Dark Kiss was you, my heart won. That day I made you cry on the phone about your ex made me feel sick inside. I debated even driving to Southern California just to hold onto you and wipe the tears away. But I knew that wouldn’t have been smart to show up like that when you were emotional.”
I laughed and smiled at him.
“Showing up at the book event was much better.”
His deep laugh filled me with warmth.
“There’s a lot I want to say to you, now that we’re face to face,” J.P. said.
Through dinner, we kept our conversation easy, which helped me relax some. I wasn’t nervous to be near him; I just couldn’t believe that I was this close to him. After dinner, we walked along the pathway by some shops and bakeries. He held my hand the entire time. It had been so long since I held a man’s hand that I had forgotten how nice it was.
“What do you do for a living, exactly?” I asked him as we walked.
“I’m a Pharmacist. I work at a local drugstore chain.”
“Neat, I had been trying to guess. I had no idea. Now it makes total sense why you’re very adamant about not looking or being distracted by a cell phone.”
“Yeah, it’s a pretty serious offense. And I worked very hard to get my degree and licensing.”
He was quiet as we continued to walk. I’m sure he knew I still had things to ask and was going at my pace. I vocalized everything that I learned today.
“J.P. Fielding lives in Las Vegas and is a Pharmacist.” He squeezed my hand and laughed. “Hey, what does J.P. stand for? I’ve been curious about that from the beginning.”
“The ‘J’ stands for my first name, John, which I hate. And the ‘P’ stands for my middle name, Paul. My friends at my dungeon call me Paul. J.P. isn’t a real bad ass sounding name.”
“May I ask why you don’t like your first name?”
“I’m the youngest of four brothers…all named John after our father. Each of us, go by something other than John.”
“Makes sense. Wow, so four brothers, huh? Are you close to any of them?”
“At one point I was, but we’ve lost touch.” J.P. stopped walking when we saw a coffee shop. “Coffee?” he offered.
Soon we had our coffee and found a quiet table for two where we could carry on our conversation. He took a long sip and set the cup down before taking hold of my hand again.
“When I read that Rebecca’s marriage fell apart after she expressed an interest in bondage, I was enraged. I know what it’s like to hide for so long. Afraid of being found out, fearing the worst possible outcome. But then you finally stand proudly and say, ‘This is who I am, take me or leave me.’ But it’s rough until you get to that point and it really fucking sucks. It rips a hole in you. I was just out of high school when my parents found out about me. I had been careless and left some kinky magazines out and some pictures that a few other guys and I took.”
J.P. coughed and cleared his throat before continuing.
“The pictures had my friend chained to a tree, naked, and I was hitting him with a belt. The only brother that still lived at home came to pick me up from work and asked me if something was going on because our folks were pissed about something they’d found in my room. I had no idea what they’d found. I got the verbal assault of a lifetime on how sick in the head I was. I tried telling them that the other kid consented to it. He and I had been doing shit like that for years. My dad demanded that I hand over everything; pictures, books, magazines. As I was handing him everything, an anal toy that I had at the back of a drawer came into view.
Hell broke loose. My dad told my mother to leave us alone. After she left, he told me to take off my clothes. When I refused, he hit me in the face. I was shocked and scared. I had never been hit before. He hit me again until I did as I was told. He made me get on my hand and knees, and he beat me with his belt until my brother pulled him away. The entire time, he was yelling at me, telling me that I wasn’t his son. He called me hideous names. I was cut up and bleeding when it was done. My brother helped me get dressed, and he took me to the apartment where my two oldest brothers were living. They supported me and told me that I had to be true to myself. I never went home again.”
I squeezed his hand, at a loss for what to say. But at least now I understood why he was so upset over Rebecca standing up and saying she wanted to try something.
“Amy, I don’t ever want you to be afraid to try something. As long as it’s with consenting adults, stand proud.”
All I could do was nod as my thoughts raced.
“Tell me about your ex, Amy.”
“Oh,” I took a sip from my coffee cup and could feel my nerves starting to panic. “Well, there’s n
ot a ton to tell. Whenever I’d read these books that had BDSM stuff in it, certain things, like the bondage, always turned me on and made me wet. For years I kept it to myself. One day we were messing around, and I told him I wanted to try it while being tied to the bed. He got angry, saying that’s what sadistic people like to do, and people that ‘weren’t right.’ We didn’t talk the rest of the night, and we slept in opposite rooms. The next morning, we sat down to talk. I thought we were going to have a civilized conversation. But he said he was leaving and couldn’t love someone that was like me.”
I quickly dabbed at my eyes before my tears escaped and messed up my mascara.
“Don’t cry, princess. He’s not worth your energy or tears. You’ve been chasing that happy ever after ever since your heart was broken by that asshole. I’ve read a handful of your books and can see that you bury your heartache and desires in your characters. But Amy, it’s a never-ending path. Try a different path for a bit. You might find that it will lead you somewhere where everything you need is waiting for you.”
I swallowed past the lump in my throat and took a deep breath as I listened to him. I wanted to try with him, but I wasn’t sure that I could handle the pain.
“You’re still a little scared, aren’t you? Not quite ready to believe that I am what you need.”
“I’m afraid of the pain. I know that you need to give pain to be aroused, most of the time. And I’m afraid that I won’t be able to take it. Then you’d be settling, and that’s not fair for you.”
“One of the best things about this lifestyle is communication, Amy, and negotiations. I know you’re new to this and I’m not going to harm you. You had Rebecca try, and Nick took care of her afterwards. I will take care of you like no man has before. You have my word on that.”
I knew that he wouldn’t hurt me and I felt completely safe with him.
“Ok, does this mean you’re going to fuck my ass, my romantic sadist?” I said crudely.
A huge smile spread across his face, and his deep laugh rumbled from his chest.
“I’m so ready to be in that ass, princess, you have no idea. Here…”
J.P. pulled his phone out and sent me a text with his address.