She looked down at herself. “Thank you.” She would not let herself smile. “It is well thought of.”
They were now walking past a small field bounded by a wall.
“Would you consider waiting here for the coach to return, Miss Bennet?” he seemed anxious for her. “You would be able to sit on the wall to eat and not have to sit on the cold ground.”
She looked at the wall and then ahead. She shivered.
“I’m sorry, sir. But I will feel cold if I stop walking. I would rather walk on.”
“Very well.” He stripped off his heavy overcoat and draped it across her shoulders.
“No, sir! I did not mean you to do that!”
“I know you didn’t. But I wish to avoid you becoming any more unwell than you are already.”
She could not argue with him. Her breathing was harder and more painful the further she walked. Rubbing her eyes helped briefly, but made them sting further, and her head ached from the coughing. She supposed hunger was making her feel nauseous, and she wondered how she would eat the food when it was brought.
One foot in front of the other. She must concentrate on one foot in front of the other. Papa always said she was made of strong stuff. One foot in front of the other.
Her shoulder bumped into Mr. Darcy. She hadn’t realised she was swaying.
“I’m sorry, sir!” she gasped, pulling herself away and putting a pace between them.
“You must stop, Miss Bennet. I fear you are doing your health much harm.” She could see him looking anxiously down the road.
She blinked, looking ahead. Through the blur, she could see that no coach was coming towards them, just a horseman.
His hand was on her shoulder. “Please sit on the wall, Miss Bennet. I think this is Mr. Bingley.”
She was too confused and faint to argue. Feeling behind her for the stonework, she sat on the wall and waited for Mr. Darcy to decide what to do.
She had failed. As well as feeling so very ill, she knew she had failed in her first attempt to become independent, to control her own life, and the shame of knowing that she had caused such trouble to Mr. Darcy and his friend, made the tears sting and smart in her eyes.
She could hear that Mr. Bingley had arrived and dismounted from the horse. He and Mr. Darcy were having a low-voiced conversation. She couldn’t hear, and didn’t have the energy to appear interested anyway.
“Miss Bennet.” Mr. Darcy was in front of her. She looked up listlessly.
“Mr. Bingley tells me the coach is only a few minutes away. He has hired a horse and I propose that he rides ahead to Hastingwood and engages the services of a good doctor.” He looked at her gently.
“I think you are feeling more unwell than you were even an hour ago, and it would ease my mind if I knew that a doctor was able to tell us what you need until you are well again.”
She looked up. “I am so sorry to have caused you such trouble.”
He smiled. “I don’t think you intend to cause anyone any trouble, Miss Bennet. It was certainly not your fault that you were injured in the fire. I am very glad to be able to assist you.” He looked away down the road. “Miss Bennet, I must tell you that I wish to see you safe. Please allow me to help you.”
He stepped back a moment. “Ah, I see the coach.” He look back down at her. “Do I have your consent to ask Mr. Bingley to engage a doctor? I would doubt there is a good physician in such a small town, but even if there is only an apothecary, any advice will be useful.”
Elizabeth nodded. She felt much too ill to argue.
Mr. Darcy turned and nodded at his friend, who mounted hastily, circling around.
“I will wait on this road, Darcy, just before the town, when I have engaged the services of the doctor.”
Darcy raised his hand in salute and the horse trotted away.
Soon the coach was there, and Mr. Darcy came over to her. “I have made the decision that you will sit in the coach to eat, Miss Bennet. You are shivering with the cold.” His voice was gentle and she was so tempted to agree with him. But she must not.
“No, I cannot, sir. If I do, then you will be obliged to me. I do not wish to put you in such a position.” She glanced at him. “I am grateful for the offer of food, and then you must leave me.”
He shook his head. “I will not leave you, Miss Bennet. If it eases your mind, I will remain outside the coach and leave the door open.”
She longed for a comfortable cushioned seat, out of the wind. If he was willing to allow her to do this, then she would not refuse him.
“I — thank you, sir. I hope I do not make the interior smell of smoke, or spill the food.”
He extended his hand to her. “It is of no importance.” He assisted her up the step.
A footman was there, and he handed in the package of food. So much had happened since she had last eaten, but her hunger had abated, and she could only eat a little of the food. But she drank the water from the fresh flagon eagerly.
He smiled in at her. “I will close the door now, Miss Bennet. May I sit in the coach with you, or would you prefer I sit beside the coachman?”
“I do not wish you to be obliged to me, Mr. Darcy. Neither would I like to be compromised. I can walk on into Hastingwood. It cannot be far.”
“I will ride beside the coachman, then, Miss Bennet. I will not permit you to walk until the doctor has told us whether it is permissible.”
She sank back against the cushions. It was a relief to her that she did not have to walk. She suddenly thought of something.
“Mr. Darcy!” But it was too late, he had shut the door and she felt the coach tip slightly as he climbed up. She still had his topcoat over her shoulders. She hoped he would not be cold, but she was most comforted.
She felt embarrassed at the thought it was almost like being embraced by him. She must not think like this, or she would allow herself to be compromised.
She knew he would honour his obligation, and she must not allow that. She was only thinking about it because she felt so unwell.
She hoped the doctor would be able to offer some medicine to stop the coughing and then she was sure her headache would ease.
The coach stopped and she could hear the jangling of the harness as the horses shook their heads.
She heard the voices of Mr. Bingley and Mr. Darcy, and then the coach began moving again, more slowly this time. She watched out of the coach window, wishing her vision was not so blurred still.
Then the coach drew to a halt.
Chapter 17
Mr. Darcy strode around the small anteroom, knowing his friend was watching him. He was both concerned and infuriated by her.
“Be easy, Darcy. She is safe now, and I believe that she will recover from this with a period of rest.”
Mr. Darcy turned to him. “I agree. But she is a spirited young woman. If she has decided to be independent, then I cannot think that she will agree to rest until she is well.”
He looked suspiciously at the door.
“If he is very much longer, I will …”
He was stopped by the door opening. Miss Elizabeth Bennet came out of the door, followed by the apothecary’s wife. Once seated, she smiled up at him. “I am well, sir. I have been treated with consideration.”
The apothecary entered the room, some small bottles in his hand. He deferred instantly to Mr. Darcy.
“The young lady tells me she is well. My opinion however, is that she will feel unwell for some time yet. I would suggest that she rest for several weeks, until the cough has completely settled. Until then, she may well continue to suffer from headaches and a disturbance of the vision.”
He looked sternly at his patient, but still spoke to Mr. Darcy. “I have prepared a concoction which will soothe the cough at night to allow her to rest. She should not take it during the day, but she should drink plenty of water. Not too much wine. She should sleep with many pillows for at least one week.”
Mr. Darcy tried to memorise all that was said. “T
hank you,” he said to the apothecary.
He offered his arm to Elizabeth, and she stood up, taking it and allowing him to take her to the door.
Outside, however, she stopped. “I thank you most sincerely, sir, for helping me this afternoon. The food and water has helped a great deal, and I am pleased to have the medicine for my cough. But I would not wish to inconvenience you further. I will be quite all right now.” She had stepped back a little.
He forced himself to stand still. “I would be most concerned if you did not allow me to assist you further.” He smiled. “I would like to drive you as far as Cheapside. But if you will not permit that, then perhaps you would at least allow me to purchase that workman’s cap you mentioned.”
He watched as she rippled into laughter, happy he could still make her smile. Then a paroxysm of coughing stopped her laughter, and he stepped forward.
“I am sorry, Miss Bennet, but I must insist. You cannot continue alone. Please step into the coach. I insist.” He took her arm.
She looked up at him, almost as if she was afraid. Why would she fear him?
He spoke more gently. “All I want is for you to be safe and be well again. Please allow me that.”
Her face was white and drawn. Despite that, he thought he had never seen anyone as handsome as she was, and his breath caught in his chest. He was prepared to do this, make himself obliged to her. Everything.
“Please, Miss Bennet.”
She seemed to capitulate suddenly. Almost with resignation, she turned to the coach and climbed inside as the coachman held the door open.
Mr. Darcy felt a sense of relief. She had accepted his help. He stood by the door and Bingley approached.
“Do you know what you are doing, my friend?” he looked anxious.
“Yes, I am willing.” Darcy kept his voice very low. “I must do this, Bingley.”
“But you could take this horse, and ride behind her. I can hire another.”
“No. I would like to be with her, but I thank you for thinking of me.” He nodded at him. “We will be all right now. Why do you not go back to Netherfield? You must see Miss Jane Bennet and become betrothed as soon as you feel you can.”
“If you can spare me, I would like to do that, Darcy. I will not tell her where her sister is, but I would like to assure her of her safety.”
Mr. Darcy glanced into the coach. “I agree. We saw how she was most distressed this morning.”
He nodded at Bingley, who mounted his horse without delay. Then he turned and, with a deep breath, climbed into the coach.
He had done this quite deliberately. He could have ridden behind, as Bingley had suggested. He could have engaged a maid or companion for Miss Bennet. But he chose to be alone with her and travel to London.
He would be obliged to propose marriage to her, and he was willing to do that.
While she might accuse him of compromising her, there was no one who would publicly humiliate her if she did not wish the information to be spread abroad.
The coach rolled towards London. He sat opposite her as she slept, exhaustion in every feature.
He had time now to consider her future. Time to wonder at his certainty, his commitment to this young lady.
From the first moment he had seen her at that dreadful country dance, he had found himself captivated by her youthful air and her eyes sparkling with amusement.
He had tried so hard to pretend he was not interested, he’d refused to dance with her, told Bingley he would not dance with her.
But he’d been unable to stop watching as she moved around the room, conversing easily with everyone and quite obviously enjoying herself.
Then she had stayed at Netherfield when her sister was unwell. Three days of meeting her in the house and gardens, three days of discovering that her wit and vivacity hid a keen mind and trenchant opinions. He had been entranced.
Dancing with her at the Netherfield ball had fixed in his mind that he had never met another lady like her. He knew that he never wanted to let her go.
And now he was here. He’d been able to help her, able to ensure her safety. She was trusting enough of him to be able to sleep as he watched over her. His heart swelled with a strange emotion, and he knew he would give anything, anything at all, to keep her beside him.
He became suddenly aware her eyes were open and she was looking at him with a strange expression.
“So you decided to take the risk, sir?”
He smiled. “You will not be compromised, Miss Bennet. You will not. There is no one who will betray you if you do not wish to be.”
She shook her head. “I was not thinking of that.”
She was thinking of him. He knew that, and he felt humbled by her.
“Do not be concerned for me, Miss Bennet. I am most willing to fulfil my obligation to you if that is your wish. Or not, if you wish it that way.”
But she had closed her eyes again. He wondered at that, not wanting to say the wrong thing, not wanting to hurt her. He must remember why she had run from home, that being forced to accept an unwelcome proposal had sent her fleeing her home and family and placing herself at risk.
He should not have done this so soon and he berated himself for doing so.
“What are you thinking that makes you scowl so fiercely?” her voice startled him, and he turned to her.
“I am sorry, Miss Bennet.” He felt anxious. “I was thinking that I may be placing you under undue pressure, given what has befallen you in the last few days.” He shook his head.
“I hope you can forgive me, and accept that it was done for the best.”
“I think I know what you mean, but I cannot understand how you feel it can be for the best.” She looked worried, too, and he leaned forward.
“Miss Bennet, in these last few minutes, I have thought why you ran away from home, why you wished to disobey your father.” He shrugged. “Now I am talking of fulfilling any obligation I have to you by making an offer. It must seem as if I think it means nothing to ask you to give up the independence you were so determined to keep.” He dared to look at her expression. “I am exceedingly sorry to seem to dismiss your own wishes in this matter.”
But she didn’t answer him. She was leaning forward and coughing again, great rasping coughs that seemed to shake her whole body. When she leaned back against the cushion it seemed as if she was struggling to breathe, and her face was chalk-white. He wondered if she’d even heard him.
He reached for the flagon of water. “Would it help to take a sip of water?”
Chapter 18
She was angry at the circumstances that had placed her in this position. Angry at her body for not recovering more quickly. Angry for not being able to control the coughing. Angry with herself for being in need of assistance — and the assistance being from Mr. Darcy.
What must he think of her? How feeble must she seem to him? She leaned her face against the cool glass of the coach window while she tried to relax her body so that her throat would allow through the air she needed.
Slowly she felt her breathing become less gasping, slowing a little. She pushed herself to sit upright, very slowly as to not provoke the cough again. She glanced over at him, his expression unmoved, as usual for him, but his eyes anxious. She smiled slightly.
“It is annoying that the apothecary said not to take the medicine during the day, is it not?”
He smiled back. “I cannot think why he said that.” He hesitated. “I was hoping that before I take you to Cheapside, you might permit me to ask my own physician to see you. He might be able to explain to us what is the best way to speed your recovery and ease your distress.”
She shook her head. “Thank you, sir. But I do not wish to inconvenience you any further. I am most grateful that you have brought me this far, but I hope to arrive at my aunt and uncle’s house alone. I would not wish my family to be angry with you and Mr. Bingley, or they may prevent my sister seeing Mr. Bingley.”
He sat forward to tell her that her fa
mily already knew he was involved, but she shook her head at him.
“They will help me. I know they will. I wish to gain a position as a companion or as a governess. Then I will be able to write to my family and tell them I am safe.”
She stared at him, refusing to let him see how easy it would be today to give in, to allow her father or a husband to control her life, to make decisions for her.
He seemed to be thinking. “Miss Bennet, may I be permitted to make an offer of employment? My younger sister is in need of companionship. I think you heard Miss Bingley mentioning her while you were staying at Netherfield.” He smiled fondly. “Georgiana is sixteen years old, getting too old really for a governess, but needing a companion who is of a similar age, who can be a friend to her.” He leaned forward. “Pemberley is far away from Longbourn. There you will be safe.”
She swallowed, and closed her eyes again. She must not look at his face. How had everyone in Netherfield come to believe in his pride and arrogance? This Mr. Darcy was looking at her with such warm regard, such care and compassion. How difficult it was to refuse him.
“Thank you, sir.” She kept her eyes closed. “I would first like to have a week or so at my aunt and uncle’s home. I would like to take some leisure to think what the best thing is to do.” She bit her lip.
“Everything seems to have happened so fast in the last few days.”
There was silence for a few moments. Elizabeth opened her eyes reluctantly and looked at him, wondering if she had caused great offence.
He shook his head, seeming to know what she was thinking. “Do not be concerned, Miss Bennet. I can quite understand your feelings. A lot has changed in a short time.” He leaned forward and glanced out of the window.
“I think we are nearly there. What is the address?”
“Oh, please! Might you stop in a quiet alley or some such place around the corner from Gracechurch Street? I would much prefer to walk on by myself.” She looked hopefully at him.
Compromise and Obligation: A Darcy and Elizabeth Pride and Prejudice Regency Variation Page 7