by J. Bengtsson
“As long as it takes. I’m sorry. I just need a breather. Everything is just bearing down on me, and I… I can’t.”
“I don’t like the way you’re talking. It sounds so permanent.”
“It’s not. I promise. I’ll be back. Just don’t forget about me while I’m gone.”
“I’m not going to forget you. You’re all I think about. There has to be another way to do this without you just up and leaving.”
I took his hand and gazed into his worried eyes. I desperately wanted to give him what he desired—to put him first. But my life was also hanging in the balance, and I needed to safeguard that too.
“There’s not.”
Bodhi was waiting for me on the other side of the door. We’d never had a conversation where Breeze wasn’t riding shotgun, and I had no idea what to say to him. Bodhi’s fame terrified me in unexplained ways. Sure, RJ was famous too, but because I hadn’t recognized him for the first five months of our rocky relationship, his celebrity status just sort of crept up on me little by little. But Bodhi… he came at me as a fully formed star.
Catching sight of my wary expression, he asked, “Do I scare you?”
“What? No.”
“Okay, because you always look like you’re going to vomit whenever I try to talk to you.”
I laughed because his take on my behavior was totally accurate. Spacing my fingers slightly apart, I held them up for show and tell. “I’m maybe just a little bit scared of you.”
“Well, don’t be. In comparison to RJ, I’m harmless. Hey, listen, I’ve been meaning to talk to you. Have you noticed anything, um… unusual about RJ?”
“Unusual? What do you mean?”
“He’s taking this really well, don’t you think? Almost too well. I mean, he lost his foot, and he’s acting like it’s no big deal.”
“It’s not that it’s no big deal, but he escaped death. It changes you.”
“Don’t you think I know that? I woke up in a fully engulfed building and had to fight my way out. I looked death in the face. I promise you, I know what it feels like.”
His stark response stunned me. Of course I’d read all about his near-death experience in the news, but I supposed you never fully understood what another person had been through.
“I didn’t mean to insinuate anything. Sorry. But you have to understand RJ knew exactly what he was doing in that parking garage. He knew it was his foot or his life. He was very rational about it. I think he’s just grateful to be alive.”
“Sure.” Bodhi nodded, not looking convinced. “But rational and RJ have never gone hand in hand. All I’m saying is, something feels off. The guy I know would not be okay with this.”
The first tiny prickles of concern crept over my skin. “So what are you saying?”
“I’m saying we should probably board up the windows and batten down the hatches because Hurricane RJ is swirling out in the Atlantic, waiting to come ashore.”
“I think you’re not giving him enough credit. You didn’t see the guy in the parking garage. He was calm. Levelheaded.” I pointed to the hospital door. “Just like the guy lying in that bed right now.”
A conflicted-looking Bodhi glanced my way. He was biting down on his lower lip. Clearly, he didn’t agree with my take on things. Either Bodhi was a crappy friend or I was living in a post-apocalyptic fairy-tale world because no way were we talking about the same man.
“Why is this so hard for you to believe?” I asked.
“Look, Dani. I want nothing more than for you to be right. I really do. But you’ve met him. You spent five months with him before the earthquake. You know RJ well enough to know that the levelheaded dude lying in the hospital bed is not him.”
“Um… you forget that I spent five months with the slimy blowfish Chad Woodcock, not RJ.”
Bodhi blinked, his face twisted in surprise.
“Dani,” Bodhi finally said. “That slimy blowfish is RJ. RJ is Chad Woodcock. The guy in there?” He shook his head. “Not RJ.”
The revelation knocked the wind out of me, and I leaned back against the wall. My god. Bodhi was right. What in the living, breathing hell had I been thinking? Of course RJ was Chad. Somehow, in the progression of the unfolding disaster, I’d separated the two in my brain.
RJ, the perfect brave hero.
Chad, the toilet-clogging dipwad.
Two separate entities… but they were one and the same.
Oh, yes, there was most definitely a storm coming… and I was in its direct and destructive path.
26
RJ: Meeting Halfway
I ended the phone conversation with Dani the same way every conversation with her ended. When are you coming home? Pathetic, really… begging for her return. She’d been gone for nearly two weeks, and I’d been home from the hospital for one of them.
She kept promising me she was coming back, but there was a hesitancy in her voice, as if she were just saying what she thought I wanted to hear but didn’t really believe it herself. What was she doing? Her life was here. She had her job, her siblings, me. I could sense her pulling away. I needed to get to Dani to remind her who I was and what I was willing to do to have her. I’d never fought for a woman before, never felt the need or desire, but this was different. This was my future, and she was threatening to strip it away from me.
“Julio,” I called from across the patio. “I need you to drive me to Temecula.”
Julio sighed. “We’ve talked about this, RJ. No traveling long distances in enclosed spaces until the risk of clots has passed.”
“It’s passed. Just take me. Stop being a douche.”
“Not being a douche. I’m doing the job you hired me to do. Now come sit down and rest.”
With the help of my crutches, I crossed the outdoor lounge area in record time and plopped down into an oversized outdoor patio chair.
“Dude,” Julio chastised. “Slow down. You have to protect your knee until you strengthen the muscles.”
“Dude,” I mimicked him. “I sat down. If there’s a way to slow gravity, I’m all ears.”
“Actually, you set the crutches down and use your hands. You don’t need a slide presentation to know that.”
Julio was the new Heather, micromanaging my every move… and I paid him for the privilege. Before discharge from the hospital, I’d convinced him to take a temporary leave from his job to become my live-in nurse for a month while I healed from my injuries. I paid him triple his normal income to live at my estate, take care of my health needs, and not to take my shit like Roland Akers before him. I’d told him at the time of hiring that I wanted him to kick my ass so I could be back on my feet in record time. And he had. With the added support of a physical therapist, I was up and moving pretty damn well on the temporary prosthesis while I waited to be fitted into the permanent one currently on order.
As much as I hated the present contraption, which traveled halfway up my thigh, I knew I was luckier than many who undergo emergency amputations. I’d been young and healthy before the accident, which helped with wound healing. So by the time I was finally released from the hospital, I was able to walk my ass out of there.
Once I got home, that was when the real work began, the goal being that I’d be ready to wear my new state-of-the-art foot-and-ankle prosthesis the moment it arrived. I wanted to get back to living an active life as soon as possible. I might have sat around moping back in my Chad Woodcock days, but that was all behind me now. I had plans, ones too big to wait for things to happen. And those plans started and stopped with Dani.
I settled into my chair, sweaty from the walking I’d done while talking to Dani on the phone. As far as resting spots went, this outdoor patio overlooking the expansive pool and water features was a fine one. As an added bonus, my property featured a giant security wall, keeping any unwanted trespassers out.
I watched Julio basking in the sun. It had only taken him a couple of days to acclimate to the good life, spending hours in the pool, in the gym
, in the movie theater. With his contract up in three weeks, I wasn’t sure if he’d actually leave, not when Rozsika happily waited on him hand and foot.
“What time is it?” I asked.
“You can’t check your Apple watch or your phone?”
“I could, but I prefer to hear your sexy voice.”
Julio sighed, taking a sip of his Blue Hawaii, complete with an umbrella and fruit kabob, before pulling the phone out of his swim trunks. “Twelve fifteen. Why?”
“Perfect. We can get to Dani’s before her surprise comes in.”
“No. You didn’t hire me to be your chauffeur. I’m not driving you anywhere. Dani can come here.”
“That’s the problem. She won’t.”
“I can’t believe I’m even saying this, but maybe she’s just not that into you.”
“She’s into me,” I assured him. This wasn’t an attraction issue; that much I knew. Something else was going on, and I needed to get to the bottom of it, even if that meant going behind Julio’s back.
“So, why’s she not here? Have you told her you like her?”
“Do I look like an amateur?”
“Then don’t ask me for female advice.”
“I wasn’t. I was asking for a ride.”
Julio considered me with an expression that bordered on pity. “Look, dude, I’ve been dumped a lot in my lifetime. A lot. Are you sure this isn’t her telling you to get lost?”
“I’m not being dumped, dick. She’s going through something, and I have to figure out what it is and fix it.”
“I don’t appreciate name-calling, RJ. This is a professional relationship we have here and should be treated as such.”
Rozsika appeared with a plate of finger sandwiches, placing them on the table between Julio and me. She laid a hand on Julio’s shoulder and smiled as she set a second plate down in front of him, piled high with warm chocolate chip cookies. “And for you.”
Professional, my ass. The dude had slipped into my life with ease. If I wasn’t mindful, he’d be the lord of the manor in a week.
“Oh, Rozsika,” he said. “Where have you been all my life?”
“I make cookie for RJ but he doesn’t like,” she said in her heavy accent.
“So ungrateful,” Julio agreed.
“Or maybe I just don’t eat sugar to maintain a healthy body.”
Rozsika and Julio exchanged an exasperated look.
“With Julio, I get to show off cooking,” Rozsika tsked. “With you, only protein.”
Julio patted his impressive belly. “Well, lucky for both of us, I don’t worry about my figure quite as much as RJ does.”
Rozsika giggled her way back to the kitchen.
“I’ve got to give you props. For a guy with absolutely no game, you sure know how to charm the Hungarian grandmas.”
“It’s a gift.”
“Right, well, I’m gonna go take a shower,” I said, step one of my escape attempt.
“Do you want help?”
“Showering? No, I’d rather lick a gas station toilet seat than have you in there with me, but thank you.”
“Jesus Christ, RJ. Your shower’s big enough to host the Oscars. Besides, I’ve already seen your junk more times than I care to remember.”
Not emboldening him with a response, I hobbled away.
I’d just barely gotten dressed when a call came in from Andrew, my jack-of-all-trades employee… and my driver for the day. I assumed he was calling to let me know the car was waiting for me behind the hedge, where I’d instructed for him to park it. Yes, Julio was my employee and could easily be fired, but technically I had hired him to do exactly what he was doing—keep me healthy and on task. And so, I had to sneak out behind his back. If I was lucky, I’d be back before he was done with his outdoor evening nap.
“RJ, someone claiming to be your brother is out front.”
“My brother? Which one?”
“Says his name is Manny. This him?”
A still image of Manny at my gate popped up on my screen. What the hell was he doing here? My family never came here. I went there. It was sort of an unwritten rule that, up until today, had never been broken.
“RJ, you still there?”
“I’m here, and yes, that’s my brother.”
“You want me to let him in?”
I ran my fingers over my now smooth jawline and pondered. The last thing I wanted was to entertain family when I had a mission to complete before rush hour, but I thought back to our last encounter and how he’d stood up for me at the hospital. At the very least, I wanted to know what was up with that.
“Uh… all right. But have the car ready.”
“It is. I’ll send him in.”
I met Manny at the front entrance and figured I’d keep him contained there. No sense in him getting comfortable, as he wouldn’t be staying long. I observed him as he stepped into the lobby. Manny was two years older than me, with curly brown locks that were currently being worn longer than I’d ever seen them. He was a near perfect replica of Renato, making it more than clear that he was the man’s biological son.
“Hey,” he greeted me with a smile. “Wasn’t sure if you were going to let me in.”
“I wasn’t sure myself.”
“I don’t blame you. Last time was…”
“Every time is,” I corrected.
“Sure.” He nodded. “Every time is an adventure in our family.”
I didn’t like the way he said, ‘our family,’ like I was actually a part of it. I had a pretty good idea what he was here for—money—and the sooner I shut him down, the better.
“Not to be rude, Manny but I’ve actually got somewhere to go, so…”
“Oh, sorry. I’ll make it quick. I just came by…” He hesitated, looking nervous as hell. Oh yeah, this was definitely a money grab. “To say thank you.”
“Okay,” I responded. Definitely not what I was expecting. “You know I cut the family off, right?”
“Yes. I do. And that’s actually why I’m thanking you. You finally gave me the push I needed to strike out on my own. I moved out. Got a job. And I’m going to start trade school in a couple of weeks.”
In some ways, Manny was so much younger than me. He’d been sheltered all his life, with very few expectations placed on him. While I was off touring the world, he was on the couch, watching TV and living off my dime. But it was never too late for redemption, and I was inclined to give it to him.
“Nice. What trade?”
“I’ve always been good with cars, repairing them in the garages and stuff. So I’m going to put that to good use and train to become a diesel mechanic. They’re in high demand, and I can make a good living doing it. Not to your standards, but… you know what I mean.”
I nodded, surprised to find myself actually happy for him. “Good for you, man.”
“I’ve never actually thanked you for all you’ve done for us over the years. No one would have blamed you if you’d turned your back, but you never did. Shows your character.”
“Or lack thereof.”
“True. I suppose it depends on how you look at it. Anyway, I was thinking—and it’s just a suggestion, totally up to you—but sometime when you’re not busy, maybe we can grab a beer, get to know each other better. Just the two of us. I’d really like the chance to be your big brother. No strings attached.”
Stunned was the only word to describe how I felt about the conversation we were having right now. I stood there in silence as I processed the offer. I’d wanted this for so long, but was it a little too late to resurrect a relationship that never was?
Manny must have seen my hesitation and began to backtrack.
“You know, it’s okay if you don’t. I totally understand. Here’s my phone number,” he said, stepping forward and handing me a piece of paper. “I’ll leave the decision up to you. I live in Los Angeles now, so, you know, not too far away.”
I looked down at his name and number in my hand. He was trying to build
a bridge. The least I could do was meet him halfway.
“Are you busy right now?”
He jerked his head up. “No. Why?”
“You up for a drive?”
Manny and I talked the whole way to Dani’s. At first about nothing, but as the miles passed, we dug deeper. He spoke of his regret, of his fear of Luis’s reprisal. I knew they weren’t empty words, remembering the times he’d reached out to me only to get a beatdown from Luis. He’d never been strong like me, never been able to stand up for himself. But as he grew into the man he was meant to be, just as I was doing now, he was finding a strength inside him he never knew he had. And it was in that realm where we slowly began to bond.
“I hate these things,” he complained, pulling up to the neighborhood security gate with its touchpad entry. “Who do they think they’re keeping out? If I was a thief, I’d just sit out here and wait for a car to open the gate, and then I’d just drive right on through. False sense of security, if you ask me.”
“Focus, Manny. The last name is Malone.”
“God, you’re so type A,” he muttered. “And I’m looking. I can’t find Malone. Do Dani and her mom have the same last name?”
“Her dad’s a test tube, so yeah, I’m thinking they do.”
“Oh, there it is.”
Manny didn’t give me a chance to prepare. He just pushed the button, and we were off to the races.
“Hello?” a female answered. It was not Dani.
“Uh, yes,” I said, leaning over Manny. “This is RJ Contreras. I’m here to see Dani.”
There was silence on the other line, and then the gate creaked open, and as we drove through, the flatbed delivery truck carrying a brand-new four-door Bronco in a steel-blue color followed right behind.
27
Dani: Pop the Cork
Pulling through the security gates to my mother’s home, my body felt heavy. Another day. Another therapy session. Another promised breakthrough thwarted. I wanted so badly for things to get better, but in fact, they were getting worse. I could almost feel the depression settling into my bones. However, the medication I’d been prescribed had not yet had time to take full effect, and I clung to the hope that when I hit that magical two-week mark, everything would fall back into place, and I could return to RJ the strong, confident woman he admired.