by S. L. Watson
I pushed Darion away and crawled over to Lucas. “He’d still be alive if it wasn’t for me. I never should have let him into my life.” I buried my face into Lucas’s chest and choked on the tears that flooded down my cheeks. My fingernails dug into the dirt and pressed hard until it felt like my nails would rip backward. Unintended flames sparked from my fingertips and rippled across the ground.
Darion and Jasper stomped across the dirt, putting out the stray bursts of fire. They worked together to gently lift me off Lucas, but I clutched onto him with all my strength. “We can’t leave him here.” My voice was hoarse and thick, and mucus completely plugged my nose.
“We won’t leave him,” Jasper promised. “I’ll carry him back.”
Darion shook his head. “That’s too dangerous—someone could see us. We need to get this mess cleaned up, and we need a portal. Did you bring a phone?”
While Jasper rummaged through his pack for his phone, and he and Darion talked of cleanup, I sat on the ground and pulled Lucas’s head onto my lap. His face was gaunt, and his skin a sickly gray. I took off my jacket and covered his bloodied stab wound.
Only yesterday Lucas had been full of life and love, and now he was this: an empty shell. He’d died incomplete, with a vital part of his being missing. I smoothed his hair back, remembering all the times I’d run my fingers through it, hearing his laugh echo in my memory. My fingers traced his closed eyelids. The pain in them the last time Lucas had really looked at me would be forever burned in my memory. I’d caused that pain, not Orien. Lucas had loved me with every part of himself, and I’d betrayed that love and gotten him killed. Lucas had deserved better, and I deserved nothing. No part of me would ever experience the joy of someone’s love again, just as Lucas wouldn’t.
“If I’d only loved you the way you deserved, you wouldn’t be lying here lifeless while I still live,” I whispered.
Fire might burn inside me, but icy darkness encased my soul. My hands slipped from Lucas’s body to lie flat on the hard ground.
I’m just as destructive as Orien.
His words came back to me: “You are my blood after all.” And the truth of those words clung to me, rancid with shame.
I was vaguely aware of the heavy energy that appeared as the portal took form in the cavern. Voices and bodies moved about the space as Darion and Jasper explained what’d happened. Gentle fingers caressed my face.
“Honey.” My mom cupped my cheeks and searched my numb expression. Worry was etched deep around her sapphire eyes. The once tranquil color now served as a reminder of our shared resemblance with Orien.
My eyelids squeezed shut as I tried to block out the world around me.
“We need to take Lucas now. Jasper’s going to lift him from you, okay?” My mom smoothed the hair at my temples as my head tilted forward.
A cold tingle shot through my legs as Lucas was taken away from me. I forced my eyes open and followed Jasper’s movements as he carried Lucas through the portal.
This can’t be real. My fingers clawed at my legs. It has to be a dream. My nails raked across the skin on my arms. When blood prickled to the surface, my chest heaved forward with a guttural cry.
“Oh, sweetie.” My mom tried to hold me. “It’s time to go now, baby girl.”
My torso twisted as I shook her away. I had no desire to move. The hollow ache in my chest expanded as I curled into a ball and lay shivering against the cold earth.
“She’s in shock.” I heard Calista comforting my mom. “She just needs time to heal.”
Strong arms slid beneath me and lifted my body from the ground. Arden’s energy wrapped around me like a blanket as he tucked my head under his chin. “I’ve got you.” His breath warmed my ear as I breathed in his familiar scent and felt … nothing.
Feelings only got people I loved killed.
6
Burnt copper stained my mouth and stiff bones ached as I tried to orient myself. My hand flew to my calf, massaging the cramp that lasted for several minutes. Light filtered through the blinds, reflecting off the familiar gray walls. November Rain was the name of the color. Lucas had helped me paint this room. We’d laughed about how fitting the color choice was. I squeezed my eyes shut as memories of the day came rushing back. Rain had poured that entire day, and a stormy breeze had flowed through the open window while we painted. The night had been perfect for a scary movie, so we’d made popcorn after we finished painting, and snuggled on the sofa. We fell asleep in the living room and woke up entangled in each other’s limbs with popcorn spilled between us. Lucas plucked a piece from my hair and popped it in his mouth and joked that it tasted like my homemade lavender-and-honey shampoo.
I slammed a door on the memory and yanked the blanket tight over my head, wishing for utter darkness. My stomach roared with a traitorous growl. The thought of eating made me feel sick, and I tried to ignore the aching hunger as images of Lucas lying gaunt and lifeless filled every sector of my brain. I tore the blanket back and leaned over the side of the bed as I gagged on my breath. Hot acid burned up my esophagus, and I waited with my head hanging for the tears to come, but my eyes were as dry as my mouth. I had nothing left. My body was a dry, barren desert. I tried to swallow, but the sides of my throat burned and felt as rough as sandpaper.
How long have I been asleep?
The angry growls continued painfully, and I finally gave in and shifted my legs over the side of the bed. My head spun with the movement, and I gripped the sides of the mattress to steady myself. I didn’t remember changing into the pajamas I wore, or going to bed for that matter. The last thing I remembered was Arden carrying me through the portal, and then I was out.
A full glass of water sat on the bedside table. I picked it up and swirled the clouded liquid. It was cold. Someone must have brought it in recently. I tentatively wet my cracked lips. The water had a powdery texture with a hint of citrus flavor. I drank slowly at first, until I could swallow without the pain, then drained the glass. The water calmed the acid bubbling in my belly, but my hunger only intensified, and I knew I had no choice but to eat.
I wasn’t surprised to see my mom in the kitchen, making scrambled eggs, when I dragged myself out of my room—I’d felt her energy as soon as I’d woken.
She dropped the spatula when she saw me and rushed to my side. “Oh, honey, I’m so glad you’re up.”
I put my arms out to stop her before she drew me into a hug. I didn’t want comfort. The rejection shone in her eyes, but she respected my boundaries and kept her distance.
“How long have I been asleep?” I knew by the way I felt that it had to have been longer than a day.
My mom filled another glass with water and tossed in a scoop of powder. She swirled the powder around until it dissolved, then handed the glass to me. Her skin smelled of fresh lavender, a scent that used to lift me up, but not anymore.
“You’ve been out for three days.” Her brows wrinkled together as she scanned every inch of me.
I coughed when the water went down the wrong pipe. “Three days!”
“I tried getting you to eat, but I only managed to get some water in you each day, which I infused with electrolytes and protein powder, and something a little extra of my own creation. Everyone has been so worried about you. Only magical restraints have kept Darion, Jasper, and Arden from breaking in and forcing you up, but I knew you’d come out when you were ready, and I’ve been here each day, watching over you.”
I turned from her watery gaze and pulled myself up onto the barstool at the kitchen island. The task was harder than it should have been, but my throbbing limbs ached with a heavy weight. A shiver tightened my shoulders, and I hunched over the warm coffee my mom handed me. My stomach twisted into knots when she slid the plate of scrambled eggs in front of me, and I snatched up the fork and stabbed into a chunk of fluffy yellow egg.
The creases in my mom’s face relaxed as I ate, and she filled herself a plate and took a seat next to me.
After a few smal
l bites, I devoured the plate and got up and piled it with another helping of eggs. We ate quietly and sipped hot coffee. When my mom finished eating, she cleaned up while I sat numbly watching her move around my kitchen, rinsing dishes and putting things away. She didn’t speak of Lucas. She knew I would ask when I was ready.
His name stuck in my throat. “Luc… Lucas?”
She stopped wiping the counter and set the cloth aside, pushing her raven hair behind her ears. She came around and took my hand. I didn’t pull away this time. “Let’s go sit.”
I followed her to the sofa. My feet lifted with the weight of lead, and I wrapped my arms around my chest as I lowered myself down.
My mom unfolded a couch blanket and tucked it over my shoulders, then smoothed my matted hair.
I sat frozen, staring down at my legs. A high-pitched whine rang deep in my ears as she explained that they’d had to make it look like an accident, that Lucas had crashed his car when he’d tried swerving to miss a deer. His car had caught fire, and by the time the responders had arrived …
Her words trailed off, and I glanced up to catch her swiping away a tear. I waited without speaking for her to finish telling me what had happened.
She gave my hand a squeeze. “His body’s been cremated at the request of his family, and his ashes sent back to them in Australia.”
She stood, and I followed her few steps to the bookshelf, where she picked up a wooden box that had never been there before. It rested next to a photo of Lucas and me. She carried the box over and sat back down, gripping the box in her lap. “Sam helped me secure this for you. If it’s too much right now, I’ll take it away, but I thought you might like to say goodbye.” Tears slid from her eyes and dripped onto the box.
My jaw clenched and the room spun. I reached out for the armrest next to me and dug my nails into the sofa’s smooth fabric. “Are those his …?” It was impossible to say the words.
“Some of his ashes,” she whispered, and offered me the box.
My fingers trembled as they smoothed the surface of the four-by-four-inch wooden cube that held the last piece of Lucas I would ever be near.
“His family must be devastated.” I wiped my nose on the corner of the blanket. “We talked about taking a trip so I could meet his parents.” The memory was so recent, but now it felt like a distant dream.
My mom cast her eyes down. “Losing a child is the worst kind of pain. My heart goes out to them.”
I knew my mom was remembering the loss of her own child, when Siobhan had stolen Darion from her for the first nineteen years of his life. She’d nearly lost him forever, until I’d saved his life.
When the box drifted back to my mom’s lap, I reached toward it and clasped my fingers around its edges. A pain like a knife ripped down my chest. How can this be happening?
Tucking the blanket under my arms, I carried Lucas’s remains with me out to the porch and pulled a chair away from the patio bistro table.
My gaze drifted past the field of wildflowers to the forest of arborvitaes that rustled in the wind.
“You deserved better than this, Lucas.” I cradled the box close to my heart. “I’m so sorry I let this happen. If I could trade places with you, I would. You should be here, smiling and laughing and playing your music.” Tears streamed down my face; the tepid liquid dripped between my fingers and pooled on the wood. “I did love you, Lucas. I’m sorry it wasn’t the kind of love you deserved. I wish it had been.” I drew my knees up under my chin and leaned my forehead down on top of Lucas’s box.
I didn’t know how long I’d sat arched in the chair, but my body ached and a migraine pulsed at my temples from the kink in my neck. Footsteps crunched over gravel, followed by the creak of worn wood as someone walked up the steps to my deck. There was no need to glance up. I sensed Darion’s energy as he set a vacant chair down next to me.
“I’m sorry, Ev.” Darion smoothed his hand over my back. “I had a lot of respect for Lucas. What happened to him was a tragedy, but I know he wouldn’t want you to let his death break you.”
My head snapped up. Darion’s silver eyes locked with mine, and I saw the understanding in them and felt his concern, neither of which I wanted or needed, but he pushed on. “I know better than anyone what shutting off your emotions can do to you. Lucas would want you to lean on the people who love you and to let yourself mourn him and then heal. He wouldn’t want you to shrivel into a hollow shell.”
A shell, like Lucas was when he died. And that’s how I will live.
My legs fell to the deck floor. “I don’t need a lecture on how to mourn my dead boyfriend, Darion. And unfortunately for Lucas, he’s now dust in a box and won’t ever get to express his feelings again.” I slammed a fist down hard on the table next to me, causing the glass centerpiece to rattle.
Darion didn’t flinch. “You need something to focus on. Mom told me of your premonition. No one but you, me, and Jasper knows that Orien has the ring, and we need to come up with a plan to get it back.”
Heat flushed within me. “That damn ring is the reason Lucas is in here. I’m sick of hearing of it and talking about it. I hope I never see it again.” I jumped up and went to the railing. The clear blue sky felt out of place. I cringed under the sun’s bright rays and wished for leaden, stormy clouds.
Darion stood and grabbed my arm. “I know you, sister. Even in your darkest state, you would never leave innocent people to that fate.”
My skin burned hot, and Darion jerked his singed fingers from my arm. His brows furrowed, but he stepped out of my way.
I stepped toward the door and stopped. Without turning, I told him, “Send word to Arden and Felix that I need to speak with them in person. Tell them to meet us at the cabin tonight. And tell Arden that Rheya should attend. I’ll take care of the rest.”
I felt Darion’s eyes on my back as I walked through the door, leaving it open, and carried Lucas’s remains back to my room.
The drive to the cabin was quiet. Darion took the corners with careful precision as I stared blankly into the shadows of the forest. A pair of glowing eyes flashed as they watched us approach. Pointed furry ears turned in our direction before the four-legged creature slunk away and vanished. A part of me longed to have that freedom, but as much as I yearned to slink away, it wasn’t an option—I had a snake to catch.
“Are you sure you’re ready for this, honey?” asked my mom from the front seat.
I shifted my attention from the trees. “I won’t let Orien get away with what he’s done, and I won’t hide from my mistakes. Orien has the ring because of me, and the others should be prepared for what could happen if we don’t get it back.” The fire magic remained a constant heat under my skin, fueled by my pain and anger. My blood warmed as I imagined burning Orien to cinders.
When we neared the cabin, I spotted Jasper’s motorcycle parked next to his parents’ car. Darion pulled up next to Calista’s red Mustang. She’d picked up Selkie on her way. I sensed the vibrations of all those we expected for tonight’s meeting, waiting inside the cabin. A lump stuck in my throat as I got out of the back seat of my mom’s 4Runner. Explaining that Orien had taken the royal Ever ring was only part of tonight’s plan. The other part would take far more courage.
The cabin vibrated with powerful energy. My hand lingered at the knob before turning it and pushing the door open. All eyes turned toward the three of us as we walked into the cabin’s quaint living room. I avoided making eye contact with the blue-green eyes that seared my soul, and went to stand in front of the blazing fire. I wasn’t cold. In fact, I’d been on the warmer side since I’d accessed my new ability, but the flickering flames gave me something to focus on while I calmed my nerves.
“Everly, my dear.” Felix stood. I hadn’t seen him since he’d returned to Aenoas-Vita at my request. Being back on his home planet and away from the aging toxins of Earth had been good for him. His champagne hair flowed down his back with a glowing sheen that appeared fuller and more radiant. His skin
was smoother, and a renewed vitality emanated within his aura. I threw up a hot wall to block the healing light Felix expanded as he neared me. His features tightened, and he paused when he sensed my reaction, but then continued forward as if nothing had happened.
“You are a sight for these old eyes.” He opened his arms, and I reciprocated his hug out of obligation but restrained from allowing myself to feel comfort in his embrace. “Stay strong, my dear,” he whispered in my ear, then looked me over. The wealth of knowledge hidden in the stormy sea of his eyes had dizzied me when we’d first met, but as I grew familiar with Felix, the deep sense of his knowledge had turned to a feeling of calm. But now I darted my eyes away, not wanting to see what he knew: that I had failed our entire planet. He squeezed my shoulder reassuringly before moving to my mother.
Rheya’s familiar laugh drew my attention to where she bantered with Arden. I’d been envious of their closeness when we’d first met, but now I was glad for it—Arden would need her.
When Rheya noticed my appraisal of her, she bolted up, returning the gesture as her green cat eyes scanned my appearance. I’d chosen my outfit meticulously for tonight: tight black cargo pants, black combat boots, and a short-sleeved black cotton T-shirt. I’d kept the knife Freya had given me strapped to my belt, along with Oria’s sword, which I had slung across my back. Both had always been within reach since I’d awoken after Lucas’s death.
“Nice outfit,” Rheya approved, slinging her twisted long red braid over her shoulder. Rheya wore the same battle gear she had the first time I’d seen her, in the woods when I’d been training with Arden. She hadn’t changed a bit, which was exactly what I had been hoping for. “My queen,” she said with a hint of mockery, though I knew she spoke in jest and not disrespect. She dipped her head and touched her fist to her heart.
My thoughts raced as I rehearsed my interior monologue and fought the desire to be back in my room, curled in a ball. The jovial banter quieted, and Jasper and Darion closed ranks at my sides. I drew on their steady energy and inhaled a deep breath.