“It’s a basic combination. You’ll like the results.” He touched her arm. He was anxious to give her a bath and see how she responded to the new nozzle.
“I hate shots.” Aurora sounded a little whiny.
“No you don’t.” Charles wanted to pull off that cheap red skirt.
“I do.” Aurora looked as if she might cry.
Charles found her fear mildly interesting. “Step back up on the platform.” He opened the drawer at the base of the cabinet and took out a syringe and two disposable needles.
“What are you doing?” Aurora backed toward the door.
“I’m going to show you something.” He took out a brown bottle of B12 with a silver metal top, in the middle of which was a round rubber insert. “Get up there. Nothing to worry about.”
“We don’t need to do this.”
“There’s nothing to be afraid of.” He took her arm firmly and guided her up onto the platform. “Pull your skirt up.”
“Please, don’t.”
“Pull up your skirt.” Charles was no longer smiling.
Aurora bunched her skirt at her waist and crossed her arms, hiding her hands in her armpits.
Charles kneeled next to her and placed the bottle and needles on the ground. He separated the paper backing from the clear plastic and took out the syringe. “Very important. One needle to draw. One to shoot. Drawing dulls the needle.” He held the syringe in his teeth while he opened one of the needles, then attached it to the syringe. “This is an insulin needle. Subcutaneous. Also for growth hormone.” He held it up so she could see. “We use bigger needles for steroids. Intramuscular. None of it hurts.” He picked up the B12 and inserted the needle, tilting the bottle, pushing up the plunger with his thumb.
“Do we have to?” Aurora said. She crossed her right foot in front of her left.
“See. I’ve drawn it out.” He withdrew the needle. “Fresh needle.” He pulled off the used one, put the syringe delicately between his teeth, opened a new one and put it on. “Now I get the air out, though those stories you’ve heard about bubbles aren’t true. No danger.” He flicked the syringe with his index finger, pushed the plunger in slowly until a drop of liquid appeared and replaced the sheath.
“It can wait till I come back,” Aurora said.
“There’s a secret to this.” He lay the needle on the wrappers. “First you have to relax. Put all your weight on your right leg.”
She shifted over, eyes wide.
“Good.” He massaged her left cheek, first with one hand, then two, enjoying the resistance of the thick muscle. “Now I’m going to numb the area.” He slapped her cheek with his opened hand, a hard but appropriate spank.
“Stop,” Aurora cried and stepped away.
“Don’t move,” Charles said. “Get back over here. Do you want it to hurt? I can make it hurt. I’ll put the dull needle back on it.”
Aurora looked horrified. Charles smiled lovingly. He held out his hand and Aurora resumed her position. He softened his voice. “Remember what we’re doing here. If I slap the area, you won’t feel the injection.”
She nodded and blinked back tears.
“I’m going to slap four times, rub the spot with alcohol, give you the shot, then cover the spot with more alcohol.”
Aurora nodded again and closed her eyes tightly.
Charles smacked her hard, brown butt. He enjoyed the stinging of his palm. Two hits, three. Her cheek was turning an exquisite hot red, the skin slightly raised. He took a deep breath and slapped as hard as he could. Four. She rocked slightly but kept the leg relaxed. Quickly he swabbed the area with an alcohol-wet cotton ball. He liked the look of the moisture on the fiery skin. He picked up the syringe, pulled the sheath off with his teeth and jabbed the needle into her butt. She tensed.
“Don’t move,” he yelled.
Aurora clamped her hands over her eyes and bit her lip.
Charles slowly pushed out the B12, staring at the point of entry. “We’re almost there,” he whispered. “Almost.” He released the syringe and let it hang, stuck in her, empty and spent.
“Is it over?” she whined.
“Yes.” He pulled out the needle, hesitated a moment to enjoy the pretty red drop of blood, then pressed the cotton to the injection site. “All done.”
Big Time
Charles hadn’t commented on her crying. He gave her a tissue when she started to sniff, then turned and put away the alcohol, cotton and vial. He threw the used needles into the trash and washed his hands. Aurora stood on the platform, tears running down her face, skirt still up around her waist and watched him. He ignored her and that made her cry harder.
“I’ll be downstairs.” He dried his hands and walked out, closing the door behind him.
There was a bruise. Aurora rubbed the spot gently and felt a small hot lump. She pulled her skirt down. Charles had said that it was from the vitamin. Steroids and growth hormone wouldn’t bruise or make lumps. Charles had also said the shot wouldn’t hurt, but it did.
Aurora resisted the impulse to lie on the floor and sob. It was just a shot. She stepped off the platform. They had the same goals. This was what she wanted. Charles was helping her and it was a good thing. She blew her nose, took another tissue and carefully wiped away the black streaks of mascara. This was the big time and it was where she wanted to be. Aurora the winner. A new beginning for her and Amy. She peed, applied more pink lip gloss and went downstairs. Charles smiled when she came into the kitchen. There was a plate of steamed orange roughy waiting for her on the table.
“When you’re finished eating, I’ll give you a bath.” He patted her on the head. “You’re going to be a star.”
Going Home
Aurora’s plan was to go home, pack up and get out fast. They could be back and settled in time for school. There would be very little discussion. Her mother’s opinion didn’t matter. Aurora was an adult. Amy was her daughter.
Amy would adjust. Kids always did. This was a great opportunity for both of them, and anyway, Amy was way too close to her grandmother. It wasn’t healthy. California was the answer to all their problems. It was the right decision but Aurora was nervous.
Aurora jammed her sneakers into her suitcase and zipped it shut. She sat on the bed and looked at the phone. The hotel room was empty of her now, soon to become someone else’s. Aurora felt like an intruder. She slipped on her red platform shoes, picked up her bags and walked out. Charles would arrive soon to drive her to the airport.
To the Airport
It wasn’t a high-quality diamond but it was large, set in platinum and hung on a delicate platinum chain. Charles had put the necklace in a black velvet box and hidden it in the glove compartment. He wanted to have a little something ready in case Aurora had second thoughts.
When Charles drove up, he found Aurora sitting on her suitcase waiting outside the lobby. Her knees were pressed together and she had her hands in her lap, covering her crotch. She wore a sleeveless white cotton blouse and a floral print cotton skirt, short but not tight. Her red platform sandals looked summery and appropriate. Her hair was shiny and straight, parted in the middle, tucked behind her ears. She looked fresh and youthful.
“You’re beautiful,” Charles said as he got out of the car.
“Don’t make fun.” She stood and picked up her bag.
“This is how I want you to look from now on.” He opened the trunk.
She dropped her suitcase in and turned to face him.
“I’m serious.” He took her arm and guided her into the car. “Natural. It’s lovely.”
Charles got in and started the engine.
“Have you told your mother?” he said.
“No. I’ll do it in person.” She smoothed her skirt.
“She’s picking you up?”
Aurora nodded.
Charles reached over and patted her knee. He slid his hand up the inside of her tight brown thigh and felt her cleft through the thin fabric of her dry panties. Aurora didn�
��t move. Charles watched the road carefully as he steered with one hand and with the other tried to excite some kind of response. He squeezed her gently between his thumb and index finger. Aurora shifted away from him in her seat and crossed her legs. Charles glanced at her blank face, then put his hands on the wheel.
“It’ll be fine,” he said.
“It’s going to be a huge fight.”
“You’re an adult. It doesn’t matter what she thinks.” Charles stopped at a red light. “When you get back we’ll find a house.”
Aurora nodded.
“I’ve got a realtor,” he said brightly. “We’ll get several choices. Two bedrooms in a good neighborhood. Maybe a pool?”
Aurora looked at Charles and smiled. “Amy would love that.”
“I think we’ll do the Nationals in April. Gives us plenty of time.”
“Okay.” Aurora turned toward him.
“The first cycle will be the most intense. You’ll gain a lot of muscle. Very exciting.”
“I’ll get fat too.”
“Not fat. Water. It’ll come right off.”
“How much?”
“Maybe twenty pounds in six weeks.”
Aurora shook her head in disbelief.
“We’ll have about six weeks for you to get settled in and then we’ll get started.”
They drove without talking for a few minutes.
“Did you think about what kind of car you’d like? It could be ready when you get back.”
“I don’t know.”
“How about a little convertible?” he asked.
“That would be amazing.”
“Maybe a little Porsche convertible. A 911.”
“No way.” Aurora was shocked.
“You don’t like them?” Charles struggled not to smile.
“Jesus.” She turned completely sideways and pulled her feet up onto the seat, affording Charles a perfect view of her clean white cotton panties. “Are you kidding?” She shook her head. “Me drive a Porsche. Amy won’t believe it.”
Charles thought how nice it would be to shave Aurora’s pussy and cover it with tart lemon curd.
“You’d have to decide on a color,” he said. “Can you drive a stick shift?”
Aurora was having trouble catching her breath. “Yes, I can.” She was wiggling in her seat. “Red?”
“No.” He smiled, tolerant. “Don’t want to be too obvious.”
“White?”
“Perfect. It’ll be waiting for you.”
Aurora was quiet for a moment. She put her feet back on the floor and smoothed her dress. “You don’t have to do that,” she said, finally.
“I want to,” Charles said.
A Private Moment
Dear May—
I miss you. If you would just call, and let me know that you’re okay, I won’t ask you to come back.
Things are the same. Mrs. Johns is still sullen and grumpy although she does ask about you from time to time. Seems she did notice. Vouvou is still sleeping in the bed with me. Snoring up a storm. She’s fatter now. Lazier. She misses you too.
I wish you would meet me in some city and we could spend a couple of days together.
Somewhere anonymous. I think of you every day and how you touched me. I still love you May.
I’ve been going to the gym regularly. Riding the bike, lifting some weight. I look the same though. You said you loved the way I looked. Was that true?
Were you happy with me May? Were you bored? Did you think of other men?
I’m enclosing the usual check. Please call or write.
All my love,
Charles
P.S. Could you please send me Hendrik’s telephone number and the drug code list. There is a young bodybuilder who I’ve agreed to help and I need to place a big order.
Thanks May.
TWO
The Good Life
Amy said, “Don’t make me go. Let’s stay home together and anyway I don’t feel well.”
“Come here, angel.” Aurora finished rubbing in her hand lotion. “You can’t afford to miss any more. Sit next to me.”
“I miss Grandma.” Amy sat in the chair next to her mother. “We could go home and live with her if you apologized. She didn’t mean all those things. Please, Mama.” She leaned into Aurora’s body. “I had friends there. I feel like I’m gonna die here, like I’m gonna explode.”
“I know, honey.” Aurora looked around the room for her other shoe.
“There’s no one to eat lunch with.” Amy tore part of her thumbnail off with her teeth. “They say I waddle. Why can’t we just go home?”
“You know why. We’ve been over this.” Aurora stopped adjusting her stockings and took Amy’s face in her hands. “We have opportunities here.”
“They make fun of you too, Mom,” she said as she stood and moved away. “They say you’re a freak and that you take steroids and you want to be a man. They ask me if you have hair on your chest. They think you have a dick, Mom. …”
“Amy.”
“What? I have to listen to it every day. They say you have to shave every morning, that you have a man’s voice—”
“That’s enough. Go get ready for school. Now.”
“And Charles is a creepy little mole,” she said, louder. “I don’t ever want to see him again. I don’t care if he pays for this house. He can’t come here.”
“Amy! Not another word. You go upstairs and get dressed.”
Aurora could hear her daughter opening and slamming drawers. She sat very still at the kitchen table and waited. Finally, Amy came stomping back down the stairs in her usual overalls with the baggy T-shirt underneath. Her twelve-year-old stomach stuck out and her short brown brittle hair was stuffed under her baseball cap. Aurora reached out for a hug but Amy walked past her to the door.
Aurora put on her black cashmere overcoat and walked with Amy out to the garage. The top was down on the car, so Aurora tied a scarf around her hair. She smiled at her daughter and tried again to reach for her hand as she pulled out of the drive.
“Honey, let’s not fight. I love you so much. You’re the most important thing in the world to me. It’ll get better here, I promise. Give it time.”
“Better for you. I don’t care about this stuff. You’ve ruined my life.”
Aurora looked at her hands on the steering wheel and felt her throat tighten. “I just want something better for us.”
Amy got out of the car and walked into school. Aurora could see her daughter’s body shrinking in on itself as she walked past the groups of kids. No one said hello to Amy. No one smiled at her. Amy entered the front of the school alone and Aurora watched until she was gone.
* * *
It was a short drive to Charles’ house. She parked on the street at the bottom of the driveway. Charles didn’t like her driving up. She left the coat and scarf on the passenger seat and straightened her black fishnet stockings. Charles was right, they did accentuate the definition of her leg muscles. She smoothed out her short black suede skirt and adjusted her black halter top and, in her high heels, she started to climb the long driveway to Charles’ front door. As she rounded the first curve she saw a gardener digging up plants. He stopped working and stared as Aurora approached.
“Good morning,” she said.
He didn’t answer and as she passed she tugged at her skirt. She continued up the hill and did not look back.
Aurora could see Charles through the big kitchen window. He sat finishing his coffee and biscuits, relaxing in his usual spot wearing his dark green Chinese silk robe. Every morning he had coffee with sweet yellow condensed milk and two Gerber teething biscuits. He liked to dunk the baby biscuits in the sugary coffee and suck them dry. He looked up at Aurora and it seemed to take him a moment to focus on her through his thick tortoiseshell glasses. Then he waved and got up to answer the door.
“My beauty,” he said as he reached up to hug her.
She kissed him hard on the mouth and then picke
d him up like a groom carrying a bride and took him into the house, kicking the door shut behind her. He smiled and kicked his little slippered feet.
“Aurora, Aurora, Aurora,” he said as he wrapped his arms around her neck and nuzzled her.
She carried his slim body through the entry hall, into the living room and set him down on the red velvet couch. Then she crossed to the large picture windows and closed the long heavy curtains against the harsh morning light.
“My dear, you look splendid. Even better than yesterday.”
She came and kneeled on the floor in front of him.
“Shall I start with your feet today, Charles?” she asked.
Early Pickup
Aurora tugged the emergency brake and yanked the keys from the ignition. Amy sat on the lawn by the flagpole, head resting on arms. All the other children had been picked up and Amy sat alone, surrounded by bits of trash and food left behind from school lunches. Aurora threw open the car door and ran as fast as she could in her high heels.
“Amy, I am so sorry.”
“Hi, Mom.” Amy looked up. Her eyes were puffy and pink, from sleep or crying, and her mouth was smeared with what looked like chocolate ice cream.
“Baby, I promise this will never happen again,” Aurora said. “I got caught up.”
“It’s okay.” Amy stood.
Aurora bent and hugged Amy’s stiff and unyielding body.
“Let’s go home,” Aurora said. She picked up Amy’s backpack and followed Amy to the car. “Are you hungry? Do you want me to stop?”
“No thanks.” Amy climbed into the passenger seat and buckled her seat belt.
“How was school today?” Aurora started the car.
“Fine.”
“Any problem with the P.E. teacher?”
“It was okay.”
“Any news?”
“Not really.”
Aurora drove carefully. Amy looked out the passenger window. At the red light Aurora reached over and patted Amy’s left shoulder.
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