Scenes from a play, with himself as the central character – that was all Patrick’s love affairs had been. Looking back, Maddy did not regret having loved him. As for taking him seriously, the unfortunate Victoria was proof of the folly of that. Maddy had prided herself that she understood Patrick completely. What arrogance and foolishness. The village gossips had been right, she had had a lucky escape. After an age of trying to bring herself round to their way of thinking, she suddenly found herself agreeing with them. And with that wisdom came an unexpected sense of freedom.
Chapter Nineteen
Victoria’s body was removed from Duncannon soon after dawn. Wrapped in a blanket, her slight corpse, and that of her stillborn child, were carried up the narrow path to the waiting cart by Jack, William, and two undertaker’s men. Her parents had steadfastly refused to be involved, but if they thought they were free of the affair they would soon be disillusioned, judging by the grim expression on the parson’s face as he followed the sad little cortege back to the village.
Maddy closed the door behind them feeling so stiff and weary she could scarcely hobble about the house; any thought of going to the shop was impossible. It was the first time she could ever remember being unfit for work, and she despised herself for her weakness.
‘You’m idn’t the only one,’ said Joan, easing herself painfully back into her chair. ‘If I gets as far as the privy and back today I reckons I be doing well. Mind, us put in a fair effort last night. No wonder us be paying for un this morning.’
‘Yet we managed to keep going until Victoria died.’
‘That were ’cos us had to. Elsie couldn’t have managed on her own, not with the birthing and everything. Yes, us were fine until we stopped.’ Wincing, Joan straightened out her stiff limbs towards the fire. ‘’Twere a disgrace her folk not coming, wadn’t it?’
Maddy nodded. The picture of a furious Jack returning home alone remained vividly in her mind.
Joan gave a snort of grim laughter. ‘My, what wouldn’t I give to hear what Parson has to say to they wretches.’
She did not have to wait long to find out. Annie arrived soon after, full of news as always, agog to spread the latest bit of gossip.
‘They’m gone!’ she, announced triumphantly. ‘Mr and Mrs Fitzherbert got in their carriage and rode off, no one knows where. “Pack up the house and you’ll be told where to send the furniture presently.” That be all the servants was told. I don’t suppose even the Fitzherberts’d have the nerve to stay-yer-abouts, not after Parson’d finished with them. They was still abed when he got there, and they said they wadn’t coming down to un. That didn’t bother Parson. Stood at the bottom of the stairs, he did, and bellowed up such a sermon at them, in a voice as’d have done Moses proud. He could be heard clear down in the scullery. What he didn’t say to them! And every word of un thoroughly deserved. Soon as he were gone they was dressed and off in their carriage.’
‘And good riddance, I’m sure,’ said Joan.
‘How do you know this already?’ asked Maddy curiously, for it was not yet noon.
‘From Mrs Bond, the miller’s wife. Her were off to see her sister over to Dittisham as usual – my William rowed her across. But you habn’t heard the best bit.’ Annie dropped her voice conspiratorially. ‘Afore the Fitzherberts left the village, Robbins, their groom, called at the parsonage all secret like, with a bag of gold to pay for the funeral. There’s some as says it were Mrs Fitzherbert herself as come, and that it were a box of jewels her left, but don’t set no store by that tale, for Mrs Bond had the truth of it from the parsonage maid. It must have been Mrs Fitzherbert as sent the money, though, for the maid said Robbins was eager to be back afore his master missed him.’
‘Victoria will at least have a decent burial. That’s something,’ said Maddy quietly.
‘’Bout the only thing the poor soul did have, come the end,’ added Joan. ‘I habn’t never liked to say un, maid, but you had a narrow escape there with that Patrick fellow.’
‘I agree with you,’ said Maddy.
She had had time to think things over, and having heard Victoria’s tale, she realised that he had deceived the unfortunate girl far more treacherously than he had deceived her. Poor naive Victoria. She could not have known that Patrick had never had any intention of sailing to America. Nothing would have got him on the water – except the safety of his precious fiddle.
‘No doubt it were hard at the time, but it have worked out grand in the end,’ put in Annie. ‘Now you’m to marry Farmer Whitcomb, who be worth a dozen of that other one whichever way you looks at un. My, won’t he be proud of you. For make no mistake, he’ll hear the story. The whole village be singing your praises, going out in such a storm to save a maid as caused you naught but grief.’
Maddy tried to point out that at the time she had no idea whom she and Joan were saving, but it was no use. Annie was too busy anticipating how pleased and proud Cal would be.
Annie was wrong. Cal was neither pleased nor proud when he called later that day at the cottage to see how Maddy was.
‘Stiff and aching, though improving by the minute,’ she assured him…
‘I’m glad to hear it. I heard you were nearly drowned.’
‘An exaggeration,’ said Maddy, preferring not to think of what might have happened if her father and the others had not come to the rescue.
‘But you put yourself in extreme danger in a foolhardy cause. It was sheer stupidity, going out in those conditions.’
Maddy stared at him, bewildered by his words and his angry tone. ‘Are you suggesting that we should have stood by and watched the unfortunate woman perish?’
‘I am suggesting that you should have shown more prudence and forethought. You gave no consideration to the consequences – to me, to our future. We have made such plans for the years ahead, yet you gave them not one thought when you leapt into the boat.’
‘No, I did not,’ cried Maddy angrily. ‘The risk to the greater sales of your cider never crossed my mind. It was very remiss of me, but that was how it was.’
‘That was not what I meant, and you know it.’ Cal’s face was white and grim.
‘No, I do not!’
‘Do you really think I would put my business interests before the welfare of someone in trouble?’
‘Wasn’t that what you were saying?’
‘No.’ His voice was low. ‘I never realised that you continued to hold such a poor opinion of me. I thought such views were long gone. I know our marriage is a matter of expedience for us both, but I hoped it had at its root mutual respect.’
‘It has!’ cried Maddy. She would have said more but he held up a hand to silence her.
‘There is nothing more to be said on the subject,’ he said grimly. ‘I will merely confirm your low view of me by asking if you will be at work tomorrow.’
‘Yes, I’ll be there, but…’ Maddy could have saved her breath for Cal turned and left the cottage without a backward glance.
Maddy was very upset. She and Cal quarrelled often enough at work, but this was different. There had been a disturbing personal undertone to it that she had not understood. What had the quarrel really been about? She had a distressing feeling that they had been talking at cross purposes.
‘Were that Cal Whitcomb leaving?’ asked Joan, hobbling in from a visit to Annie. ‘I thought I heard his voice. I didn’t want to disturb you so I bided over to Annie’s for a bit longer.’
‘You could have saved yourself the bother,’ snapped Maddy.
‘Oh, had words, have you? It takes some men that way.’
‘What does?’ Maddy demanded, but Joan was busy tending the fire and did not seem to hear her.
Next morning she was back at work betimes. Cal did not visit the Paignton shop often, usually he left its running to Maddy. As a result it was three days before they met up again, three very tense days as far as she was concerned. Upon his arrival he was his usual efficient self, checking that everything was well with h
is latest venture. Then he drew her aside into the back room, his grip firm on her arm, making it impossible for her to resist.
‘I owe you an apology. It has taken me all this time since we last met to think up the right words.’
‘There’s no need for an apology. We had a pointless quarrel. Let’s forget it.’ She would have returned to the front shop, but his hand still held her arm securely.
There is a need,’ he insisted. ‘I should have been very proud of you, yet I did nothing but berate you for being foolhardy.’ He hesitated, as if continuing to search for the right words. ‘If you want the truth, you scared the life out of me, going out on such a night. I know it was for the most noble of causes, but you might so easily have been drowned.’
‘Is that why you were angry? Because you were concerned about me?’
‘Of course I was. How could you think otherwise?’ He sounded quite hurt. ‘The general view in the village is that if you had been anyone but a Shillabeer, you would have been swept to your death. No wonder I was alarmed.’
‘Oh…’
‘Is that all you can say?’
Maddy nodded. Cal had been concerned for her safety! For her! She felt absurdly pleased. No, the emotion she was experiencing was far greater than that. It was deep and joyful happiness. In that instant she knew she loved him.
It was not a new love, that was the astounding thing. Now she had acknowledged it, she knew it had been with her for a long time, warm, comforting, and familiar within her. It was incredible that she had failed to recognise it. What had made her so blind? Immediately she knew the answer. Patrick! She had been dazzled by him. It had taken Victoria’s tragic death for her to see him as he really had been – a charming scoundrel. But now she was free to love again – and to be loved.
Thinking how angry Cal had been because she had gone out onto the river, she felt hope begin to flicker. Surely such a strong reaction had to mean he had some feelings for her.
‘I do believe I’ve struck you dumb,’ Cal said, beginning to smile. ‘I must try to remember the secret for when you argue with me over spending money.’ His smile softened. ‘Of course I was alarmed by the tales of your exploits, how could you doubt it? We’ve a lifetime of plans and schemes and ambitions ahead of us that I could never achieve on my own.’
At his words the flicker of hope faltered and died.
Of course he had feelings for her, respect, admiration, friendship, but they fell far short of love. How foolish she had been to expect it. Hadn’t he always been honest, stating quite clearly that their relationship was based upon business and expediency? She loved Cal but it was stupid of her to hope that he might return her affections. It was only too evident that he did not.
‘If these plans and schemes and ambitions are to come to anything, I’d better get back to work,’ she said, her briskness hiding her pain.
‘I take it that’s a hint for me to get back to my duties, too,’ he said. ‘I can see I’m marrying a slave-driver.’
‘No, merely someone who intends to keep you up to the mark,’ she said, hoping her lightness of tone matched his.
‘All right, I’m going!’ In mock haste he made for the door, but he paused when he reached it. ‘I am forgiven for my rudeness and stupidity?’ he asked.
‘There wadn’t naught to forgive, you gurt lummox,’ Maddy said, taking refuge in imitating Ellen.
Laughing, he hurried from the shop. Maddy stood at the window and watched him go. She could not help herself, she had to follow his progress every step of the way. Not until he had disappeared into the livery stables opposite to fetch his horse could she bear to tear herself away.
I love him! She said the words over and over to herself. It felt the most natural thing in the world, but what difference would it make to their marriage? For some difference it would make, of that she was certain. It was too early to ponder over future difficulties, however, her acknowledgement of her feelings was still too new. For the moment she was content with murmuring ‘I love him’ to herself, and firmly shutting her mind to the time ahead.
Next morning Maddy began her working day at Paignton, intending to spend the afternoon at the Totnes shop. When the gig arrived soon after midday, she was surprised to see Cal in the driver’s seat instead of Joshua. Her heart leapt with pleasure at the sight of him. Just being with him would be happiness.
‘I dare say your father will not approve, but Joshua could not be spared today so I am playing coachman,’ he said, handing her into the vehicle. ‘Besides, surely not too many eyebrows will be raised. We are betrothed, after all.’
‘I’ll sit with my glove off and my engagement ring in full view, shall I?’ suggested Maddy, and he laughed. She was grateful for his laughter, it eased the tension that lingered between them.
‘It’s too cold for that,’ he smiled. ‘Shall we let the gossips have their fun, and be done? I’m glad of this chance to be with you. We are seldom on our own these days, thanks to decorum, and there are things I must talk over with you.’
Maddy found herself tensing. Setting common sense aside, she hoped against hope to hear him say something affectionate or tender.
‘What with one thing and another we haven’t made any hard and fast decisions about the Devon Agricultural Meeting,’ he said, as they eased into the traffic going along the Totnes road. ‘Time is getting on and we mustn’t delay much longer. There are to be three classes for cider – ordinary, rough, and what they call “speciality”. I think our Superior would be suitable for the speciality class, don’t you? It includes vintage and sparkling ciders.’
Maddy swallowed her disappointment. ‘That class sounds exactly right for the Superior. It should certainly be entered,’ she said.
‘And what about the others? Our Regular will definitely compete in the ordinary class, but I’m not sure if our Rough is up to it.’
‘Enter it!’ said Maddy without a moment’s hesitation. ‘If nothing else, it will bring Oakwood Cider’s name to the attention of the judges so they will recognise it next time.’
‘Right, we’ll enter all three!’ replied Cal with gusto. ‘That was exactly what I wanted to hear. You never let me down, do you?’
‘I try not to,’ Maddy said quietly.
‘You don’t need to try.’ He patted her hand, and she wished that he had not.
Loving Cal was proving to be a bitter-sweet sensation. Just riding in the gig with him was too comfortable and intimate for her peace of mind. The warmth and solidity of his body against hers was stirring up a mixture of emotions she had never thought to feel again.
The idea of marriage was beginning to distress Maddy. The trouble was that her love for Cal was growing with each passing day. It was as if, having admitted her feelings, her emotions had suddenly burgeoned like a young vine, quite beyond her control. Being with him gave her the greatest happiness. There was none of the heady excitement that had characterised her meetings with Patrick, just a warm joyous delight which filled her to the exclusion of all else.
Not to betray her feelings for him, that was what she found difficult. To compensate she grew a little more brisk, a little more businesslike, a little more distant when they were together.
Sometimes, when she was having to try harder than usual to mask her emotions, Cal would look at her with concern. On one occasion he said to her, ‘You are happy, aren’t you Maddy? I’m not working you too hard?’
‘Of course I’m happy.’ Her response was crisp and swift. ‘Why do you ask?’
‘I just wanted to be sure,’ Cal responded, a look of concern remaining in his eyes.
Maddy grew to hate any day when she did not see him. It was like time lost, a dismal grey space in her life, yet she could not control her feelings. Falling in love with Cal had changed everything. Unwittingly she had upset their down to earth agreement by giving her emotions free rein. She had begun to imagine married life where she loved and he did not. Could she bear such an existence? She was beginning to feel that the ans
wer must be no.
* * *
May was upon them almost without them knowing, and with it the approach of the Agricultural Meeting.
‘We have a major problem,’ Cal said, with an abruptness that made Maddy start.
‘What is it?’ she asked with concern.
‘We do not have a chaperon for when we go to the Meeting.’
‘Am I coming to the show with you?’
‘Of course. Did you think I would go without you?’ He looked surprised. ‘I’m afraid my mother will not contemplate coming, so I wondered about your father and stepmother, as my guests, of course.’
‘I’m not sure about Father, but I know Joan will jump at the idea,’ said Maddy.
She was right on one count, Joan was delighted at the thought of going. Jack hummed and hawed at first, but Maddy could see he was keen to go too. ‘I’d best make up the party,’ he said at last. ‘I hear there’ll be a band of Scottish soldiers there, they as wear skirts and show their bare legs. I’d best find out if it be a proper spectacle for my womenfolk.’
That was one problem solved, but there was still a week or so to go before the Meeting.
On Friday afternoon, when she had gone up to Oakwood as usual to go over the books, Cal had greeted her with, ‘Never mind the accounts for the moment. There’s something you must see.’
Grasping her by the hand he had led her into the store next to the poundhouse. ‘There!’ he said triumphantly, indicating a rack of bottles and stone flagons set aside from the rest. ‘Our entries for the Meeting. I’ve selected the samples with the greatest of care.’
‘I see you’ve allowed some extra.’
‘Of course. Accidents do happen.’
‘Might it not be an idea to send the cider up a couple of days before the show? Just to give it time to settle before the judging?’
‘An excellent idea! I was planning to take it up by train with us, but your idea is far better. What other good notions have you got in that head of yours?’
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