‘Okay,’ Kelly stepped out first as the doors slid open. ‘It’ll work out, Alex, one way or another, we will figure everything out.’
‘I don’t see how,’ she sniffed. Without turning back time, she wasn’t sure she’d ever be able to trust Liam Buckley again or, for that matter, that she even wanted to.
‘There are ways,’ Kelly answered. ‘If there’s something to be found, your sister and I will find it.’
Alex’s eyes filled with tears and she dabbed them as they walked towards Louise’s room. Had the stress been too much for Louise, was that why the baby was gone?
‘Sssh,’ Kelly pulled Alex into his embrace. ‘Louise will be fine, Alex, you’ll be fine.’ He knew her tears were as much to do with her own situation as they were to do with Louise’s.
‘Yeah,’ she shook her head in embarrassment, ‘I’m just all over the place. This is my fault, Kelly, I should have come over when Louise rang me, I’d say she was worried sick.’
‘It’s not your fault, Alex… Louise understood that you needed to figure things out for yourself.’
‘That’s just it, I’m none the wiser. I still, to my shame, can’t tell whether Liam is telling the truth or not. And the other detail… about him being dishonest, doesn’t help.’
‘Look, you can tell me.’ he said. They were sitting on chairs behind the curtain that they were expecting Louise to be returned to, and their voices were low.
It didn’t take Kelly long to extract the detail that Alex was trying to hide, and he couldn’t say it surprised him. Fuller pictures were always useful when trying to profile a suspect – not that sleeping with your ex-wife made you a murderer, but it did reduce Liam even more in Kelly’s estimation.
‘We’ll figure this out, Alex, we’ll get to the bottom of it so that, at least then, you’ll know.’ They sat in silence for another minute before Alex got up to go. The sooner she went back to Louise and Kelly’s house to collect her clothes and sort out the bed, the sooner she’d be back to see her sister.
10.
Alex glanced into Louise’s bedroom before she pushed the door fully back and stepped inside. The room was muted, the colour a dreary orange and the muffled sounds of summer filtered innocently through the curtains oblivious to what had happened behind them earlier that morning. Nothing but time and distance was going to dull the pain that she suspected Louise would be feeling and there was nothing she could do to make her feel less sad, but Alex could at least tend to the practical stuff. She flung back the curtains and eased the window open and made a mental note of everything she would get done before Louise came home.
She’d pull the spoiled bed clothes off and bag them before she dumped them in the bin out in the back garden. No doubt the mattress would be ruined so she’d make an attempt at washing away the stain and leaving it to dry before she’d flip the mattress over on itself and remake the bed, making it comfortable and cosy for Louise to come home to. Before that though, she would check if it was possible to get a same-day delivery of a new mattress and have the old one taken away and if so, she’d order it. Then she’d check the cupboards and if groceries were needed she make a run to the shop and, lastly, before she headed back to the hospital, she’d pull a bag of clothes and essentials together for Louise. By her calculations, it’d probably take her an hour, depending on whether or not she had to go to the supermarket, so that at the very latest she’d be back at the hospital in the afternoon.
She pulled out her phone to give Liam an update as she had promised she would and she also wanted to check on Abbie and Josh.
Hi. How are things?
Grand, how are things there?
Fine. I’ve left hospital. Am at Louise’s now getting her some clothes. Heading back in shortly.
Is Louise coming home?
Don’t know yet, depends on how she does in recovery.
Do you want to call?
Can’t, have to get the bed changed first and do a few things around the house for them, will ring later, if I get a chance. Hope the kids are doing okay?
They’re holding up, Abbie’s all over the place, all business one minute, crying the next… and Josh even spoke to me earlier, so all good. Also, there are newspaper reporters camping out on the road, so be careful if you are coming back here.
Okay.
Alex, I don’t know what to say, I really am sorry about everything and I want you to know that I love you.
Okay
I’ve been sorry about it ever since it happened. It was just one of those things, like I felt I owed it to her or something, which I know is no excuse…
…say something Alex.
I’ve nothing to say right now.
It just happened, I was carrying her up to bed because she was weak and when I lay her down on the bed, it just became like a connected moment, I’m sorry. I love you.
I have to go, Liam.
X
Alex could feel her insides clenching, and then she shoved the phone back into her pocket. She had let her finger hover over the ‘X’ for a few seconds out of habit, having never not returned an ‘X’ to him before, but caught herself before she reciprocated. ‘Right,’ she rolled up her sleeves trying to shake her thoughts away and stood at the foot of Louise and Kelly’s bed, the momentary distraction welcome. ‘Let’s get this done,’ she said to herself. She exhaled every molecule of air from her lungs, stretched her neck and began yanking the bedclothes in one full movement from the bed. The bright red stain was a stark reminder of the pain her sister must have gone through and how much blood she had actually lost. She bundled the pillows, even though they hadn’t been soiled, inside the edges of the fitted sheet acting as a tie to hold all the bedclothes in and left them waiting by the back door. She filled a basin with water and added some bleach and set about washing the bloodstain away. Once it had faded to a burnt orange colour and she was satisfied that it wouldn’t fade any more, she tugged the mattress up on its side to flip it over, hiding the offending stain underneath, and flapped out the clean sheets to spread over the clean side, making it appear as though all traces of her sister’s miscarriage was gone. When she had finished that she opened Louise’s wardrobe and picked out some comfortable clothes for her: a pair of yoga leggings, a T-shirt and a fleece from her drawer. She added two pairs of underwear and a pair of socks to the stack and pulled a sports bag from the bottom of the wardrobe to stuff them into. Then she grabbed a toiletry bag from under the sink in the en-suite, filled it with everything that she thought Louise would need and threw that in on top too. ‘That’s better,’ she sighed and pulled the window closed and made her way back downstairs with the cleaning supplies.
Everything in the house both upstairs and down was pristine, the kitchen was spotless, the countertops shone and even the cushions on the new blue velvet sofa had been plumped. Louise would have done it before she had gone to bed the night before: straightened the sofa plumped the cushions and put hers and Kelly’s mugs in the dishwasher along with the spoon she had used to stir their last cup of tea before bed. Alex smiled sadly as she looked around her twin sister’s house. Everything was perfectly placed and carefully displayed, in fact the only thing that was out of place was Louise’s brown bag that lay slouched on the armchair in the window with a brown file sticking out of the top. She opened the bag and peered in. She pulled the file and sat carefully at the edge of the sofa so as not to disturb the cushion display. Jennifer Buckley’s case had to be the last case that Louise had been working on so the file was bound to be on Liam. She drew a deep breath before she opened it.
The file was already about twelve pages thick. Green and white lined pages with official Garda Síochána headings and printed text where at the front. She scanned the headings. Introduction, Sequence of Events, Report, Interview Transcript, Conclusion. Black and white photocopies of newspaper articles that had been reduced to A4 size were next. She scanned the headlines. Limited Edition: Ending With(out) Love. They had been short, concise interviews that
Jennifer Buckley had done. Alex had seen them herself before and she knew a quick browse on the internet would have thrown them up. Behind the next divider was a photograph, a printed one from the internet. It made Alex gasp; it was a photograph of both Liam and Jenny in their pilot uniforms, they were smiling, much younger and sitting side by side in a cockpit, she wiped her brow and inhaled. The next document was the typed official report that Liam had made with what looked like Liam’s signature at the bottom and lastly there was a foolscap page of notes that Louise had taken by hand. Her handwriting was so distinctive, the slight slope of the script to the right, the way she rounded her letters, bubbly and small and the pressure with which she pressed the pen. Alex began to read…
Liam Buckley…
Liam’s relationship with Jennifer Buckley? Any indication of ongoing romantic involvement with ex-wife? Recent travel with work? Motive to kill ex-wife? Motive to assist suicide? Insurance payout? Past affairs? Did he know about MND before he left? Crew affairs in work? Workplace disputes? What was in the syringe? Where’d she get it? Who got it for her? Friends/enemies?
Alex hovered by the window as she continued to read, taking a photograph of every page on her phone when she was done. There was so much to take in, so much information that she hadn’t already known, and she needed to process it. She sighed wearily, pulling her hair back from her face and as she did her ripe body odour wafted up her nose. ‘Jesus, Alex,’ she said walking towards the mirror that Kelly had hung in the hall. ‘You reek,’ she said to her reflection as she stood there studying the tired-looking thirty-seven-year-old woman staring back at her. ‘No one over the age of twenty-five should ever sleep on a sofa, unless of course it’s the middle of the day and you’re only having a doze,’ she smiled at herself, took one more whiff under her armpits and decided that she’d grab a quick shower. She and Louise were the same size so she’d borrow some of Louise’s clothes and head back into the hospital as soon as she was done. She raced up the stairs, dropped her clothes in a heap on the bathroom floor and jumped into the shower. It was exactly seven minutes later when she was standing in front of Louise’s wardrobe picking out some clothes for herself this time. She chose a jeans and white top and stepped over to her dressing table to spray on some of Louise’s deodorant. She had a feeling it was going to be a long night and she wanted to keep herself fresh for as long as possible.
*
Back at the hospital, Louise’s eyes squinted open. She groaned a little, trying to break through the fog, and concentrated on her breathing. Her breaths were sharp, shallow and noisy inside her head. She groaned again and managed to open her eyes briefly against the white light of the room. She drew in a deep breath and concentrated all her energy on moving, it was her leg that gave in first.
‘You’re awake,’ Kelly jumped up from the chair that he had been sitting in beside Louise’s bed and leaned across her. ‘Are you okay?’ he whispered softly.
‘I don’t think so,’ Louise answered unsteadily pulling her hand upwards and wincing when she put a strain on the IV line that was sitting prominently on her right hand. Tears stung behind her eyes. ‘Is it, is the baby…?’ Her voice was weak and her lips pale.
‘Sorry, love, the baby is gone, she didn’t make it.’ Kelly’s voice broke as he heard himself say the words out loud while the doctor’s clinical update played on a loop inside his head. Everything went well, she’ll be weak for a while and will sleep a lot, but overall we are quite happy with the outcome. He wrapped his arms around her and held her while she sobbed herself back to sleep. Her frail body probably the most chilling example of how close he had come to losing her. He eased himself away from her when her breathing settled and retook his seat.
‘She’s back from theatre?’ Alex whispered as she crept behind the curtain and placed the bags of Louise’s things on the floor.’ Her sister’s tiny frame barely made a shape underneath the sheets as she hovered over. ‘How is she doing?’ she asked.
‘She’s okay, she keeps waking up, realising that the baby’s gone and then cries herself back to sleep.’
‘Probably just as well,’ Alex said softly. ‘I got her a few things that she’ll need: pyjamas, underwear and clothes to come home in.’
‘Great, thanks,’ Kelly replied. His eyes barely left Louise to answer her, he was afraid he’d miss her waking up again.
‘I threw out all the bedding and flipped the mattress. I did phone to see if I could get a new one delivered, but deliveries had already left and it was collection-only so I didn’t.’ She knew she was rambling, but she wanted to fill the unhappy silence with something and practical things seemed like the best choice.
‘Okay,’ he smiled, quickly blinking back the tears in his eyes. ‘Thanks.’
‘And I brought this in too, in case she needed anything in it.’ She lifted up Louise’s brown handbag, the top of the paper file was obviously jutting out. She looked at Kelly then and waited for his eyes to meet hers.
‘Thanks.’
‘And before you say anything,’ Alex continued, Kelly offered her a sad smile. ‘I had a look in it, even though I probably shouldn’t have.’ He wouldn’t have expected anything less. He knew she was desperate for answers and he hoped, once he got Louise sorted, he’d be able to go some way towards finding them for her. He flicked through the pages in his mind reminding himself of every detail he had poured over last night, he could almost recite every line. ‘And I know there are much more important things to be thinking about right now,’ she looked at Louise. ‘And I don’t want her worrying about getting back to work just so she can head up this investigation, so everything I need to know can wait, until Louise is better, until she’s had some proper time off work to grieve and get herself back together. Whatever is going to happen with Liam, will happen.’
‘Look, he turned away from Louise briefly to look at her. ‘This is going to sound a bit insensitive…’
‘Say it, whatever it is. I promise you, Kelly, it’s okay.’
‘If I do upset you, then this is on me, you won’t take it out on your relationship with Louise?
‘No, I promise,’ she said.
‘Well… do you think he had any idea that the wife was sick when you guys got together?’
‘We got together in December, she was diagnosed the February two months later, so no, I honestly don’t think Liam knew.’ She did a quick mental check of everything she had thought she knew so far and shook her head at how gullible she had been. ‘But,’ she shrugged, ‘it turns out that I’m a bit naïve, a bit stupid when it comes to trusting whatever Liam Buckley has told me in the past. So, what would I know?’
11.
It was a week later when Louise was sitting on her new mattress propped up against her new pillows, a cup of tea in her hand. Ever since Kelly had brought her home from hospital he had insisted that the only activities she engaged in were sleeping, eating, watching the odd movie and sitting with Alex when she was there. Throughout the week, there were times it had felt like house arrest but Kelly wasn’t budging on his plan despite her many protests and at his insistence, everything else, until she had got her strength back, had been out of bounds.
Straight out of the shower, having already trimmed the stubble on his face and sculpted the edges to make himself look more groomed, Kelly pulled on a clean shirt, flapped underneath his arms for his deodorant to dry, dabbed aftershave on his face and wiped the excess from his hands on to the chest of his shirt before he buttoned it and pulled on clean jeans. It had been the first time he had put on a shirt since the same day last week when he had found Louise unconscious in their bed.
‘How much longer is my sentence?’ she smiled. She placed her cup back on her bedside table and enjoyed the breeze that whipped in through the open windows, swaying the curtains as it passed. The doctor had advised her to take at least two weeks off work and Kelly had contacted the Inspector last Wednesday to let him know. By the time Kelly had officially spoke to him, Liam Buckley’s case had a
lready been reassigned, he had been taken in for further questioning and the detective in charge of his case had charged him with the murder of his ex-wife Jennifer Buckley.
‘As long as you want it to be.’ He had fallen into that trap before and he wasn’t about to do it again. It was in Louise’s nature to defy whatever she was told to do so telling her to stay in bed would have had the exact opposite effect. She still needed to rest, to grieve, to let her body recover, and he wasn’t going to do anything to jeopardise that.
‘I think I might even get dressed today,’ she dared. It would be the first day Kelly would have left her side since he had brought her home and, while she knew she would miss him, equally she missed her own independence. She was looking forward to getting up, showering, getting dressed and feeling more normal and she knew she wouldn’t have the peace of doing it if he was still hovering around.
‘If you think you’re up for it,’ Kelly stopped to look at her. There had always been something about Louise that was rare, a mixture of strength and vulnerability that impressed him and frightened him in equal measures. ‘But you’ve not to overdo it,’ he added.
‘I won’t, I promise.’
‘Will I wear a jacket?’ He pulled the jacket of his navy suit from the wardrobe leaving the hangar rattling as it swung back into place.
‘Maybe,’ Louise watched him as, in one seamless move, he cast the jacket behind him and slipped his arms into the sleeves, then pulled out his cuffs and straightened the collar of his white shirt underneath. She scrunched up her nose wondering if it gave off the right vibe.
‘Too much?’ he asked.
‘No,’ she said uncertainly, ‘not for the first meeting I suppose. At least give them a good first impression to keep them going.’
The solicitors’ firm that Kelly’s friend had introduced him to for freelance investigation work had been in touch during the week. They were eager for him to start on a particular case they had just taken on and wanted to meet with him to discuss. Given the circumstances and the fact that he wanted to be at home to look after Louise, Kelly had nearly declined the offer until he heard what the case was or rather, who the client was going to be.
When the Time Comes Page 11