His attention wandered to the steep canyon walls opposite him, the colors so varied that they could have been painted by a divine hand. Elsie could probably name each different type of stone in that canyon.
This place could really get to a man.
If he walked away from this opportunity, he’d not only lose the steady paycheck, he’d miss experiencing all this. Mist rose from the canyon, a peaceful response to the bellowing waterfall. If only he could find solace here too.
As much as he wanted to keep the foreman job, the CCC needed a man who could keep a foot in both worlds—the administration and the day-to-day work. Clearly, that wasn’t him. The truth of the matter splintered his soul. No matter the humiliation, he owed Lieutenant Stone the truth.
By the time he got back to camp, the game had gone into extra innings. Nate walked past the yard and the new boxing ring Red had built. There would be time to talk to Stone later in the evening, perhaps after supper. Some of the men were going to the hotel for a movie night, but Nate doubted the lieutenant would be among them.
A loud tapping sound caught his attention as he ducked through the tent flap. “What is that? Sounds like a woodpecker.”
Val sat cross-legged on the ground, a typewriter balanced on his footlocker. “Hey, Nate. Isn’t this amazing?”
“Where did you get that?” Nate walked to the kid’s side and crouched beside him.
Each time Val pressed a key, a silver lever flew up and struck a letter against the white paper. “Captain Dahl sent it over from Mammoth. We’re starting a camp paper. How does this sound, ‘Camp Baseball Game Gets Blood Flowing’?”
“Pretty good. You might have a knack for this.”
Val grinned. “Especially since Nowak got a baseball to the face and broke his nose. You should have seen it. That’s when I decided to run back and get a start on the story. Nobody’s going to scoop me.”
Nate glanced around the tent with mock horror. “You mean spies from a rival paper?”
“Nah, but some of the other fellas want to write too. I want to make sure I get this story. Hey, Nate”—his eyes lit up—“could you do some of those cartoons? You could illustrate the story.”
Nate retreated to his cot. “How’d you know about that?”
“I noticed you working on some last night. They’re good.”
Nate dropped onto the bed, weariness from the day settling over him. “Thanks.” At least he could manage something with a pencil.
“So will you?”
Nate laid back and dropped an arm across his face. “I don’t know. I only draw them for my sisters. I’ve never drawn for anyone else.”
“But the boys would get a hoot out of it. You could draw Nowak with the ball bouncing right off his schnoz.”
Nate chuckled. “How long are you going to be tapping away on that thing?”
“Just a few minutes. I wanted to write up the details before I forget them.”
Write up the details. Nate rolled to his side and propped himself up on one elbow. “You know what—I might be interested in doing those drawings. But I’d need something from you in return.”
Val’s hands stilled. He glanced up with wide eyes. “Name it.”
“Help me with my weekly reports.” The lieutenant wanted paperwork. He didn’t say how it had to be done.
“What did you have in mind?”
“I’ll dictate them to you. You”—he gestured to the typewriter—“do your thing, there.” Nate slid the rolled-up papers from his pocket and flattened them against his knee. “Could you type right onto these forms?”
“Sure.” Val held out his hand. “Give ’em here.”
Nate sprang up from the bed and thrust the cursed things into his friend’s hand.
Val squinted at the top page. “Doesn’t say it needs to be typed. You could probably just handwrite it.”
“Don’t you think Dahl would be more impressed if it were typed? Besides, my handwriting…” Nate shook his head. “Nobody wants to read that.”
The kid chuckled. “Yeah, lots of folks have that trouble. My teacher was pretty quick with the ruler across the knuckles if you didn’t write neatly. Worked for me, not that I’d recommend that to Miss Brookes.”
“She doesn’t seem the type to use the ruler.”
A dopey smile crossed Val’s face. “Nah, she doesn’t. Pretty little thing, don’t you think?”
“Sure. I suppose.” Nate cleared his throat. “Do we have a deal?”
“You bet. Want to start now?”
Nate glanced out the door, checking that the game was still going. He grabbed his notepad and pencil. “You type; I’ll draw. We’ll be done before the game ends.”
* * *
Elsie’s mother shifted on the small sofa. “I told that boy not to say anything.” Her hair was pulled into a knot at the nape of her neck, a few thin locks loose around her face.
“I didn’t give him much choice.” Elsie adjusted the pillows to support her mother’s back. “He winced when I asked how you were doing. Just like you’re doing now.”
“It’s nothing—a few bumps and bruises.”
“You fell down the stairs.” Elsie dragged a chair close. “Did you lose your balance?”
“I was feeling woozy. It happens.”
Elsie’s father walked through the room on his way to the kitchen. “More often all the time. I’m going to speak to Roger about a leave of absence. I want you to see a better doctor. We can go to Billings or Salt Lake, even.”
Elsie twisted in her chair, her eyes following her father. Had things gotten that bad? “How long would you be gone?”
“Teddy can oversee the CCC crews for a week or two. They’ve gotten pretty self-sufficient.” He finished knotting his tie and leaned over to place a kiss on his wife’s forehead. “I have to go over to the campground.”
Mama’s brow furrowed. “Don’t bother Superintendent Toll yet, Harold.” She turned to Elsie to explain. “We’re still discussing it.”
When Papa left, Elsie pressed herself into the chair to keep from running after him. She waited until his truck disappeared down the lane before she spoke to her mother. “What’s there to discuss?”
“Your father worries. He can’t be here all the time. I can’t seem to convince him that I don’t need that sort of hovering.”
It had only been a few weeks since Elsie had moved, but her mother was noticeably weaker. “Maybe if I came back to Mammoth—”
“Absolutely not.” Mama’s blue eyes flashed. “We’re so proud of what you’re doing at Canyon. And you need the money for school. Herma comes over and stays with me when she’s not on duty. And Graham stays here on the evenings he’s in Mammoth. This house is full of people most of the time.”
“Just as you like it.”
“Just as I like it.” Mama waved a hand in the direction of the stairs. “I made a mistake, and I paid for it. You know what they say about pride and falls.”
Elsie generally found strength in her mother’s words. Not tonight. “I suppose.”
“Now tell me all about Canyon. How are you and Mary settling in?”
Elsie tried to focus on the past weeks, even though her heart wanted nothing more than to cling to the here and now. She recounted several stories to appease her mother, lingering on the story of taking the fellows to see the bears.
Mama frowned. “I wish they wouldn’t feed them like that. It makes them look like trained circus animals. They should be wild, foraging in the mountains for food, not begging for scraps.”
“So grizzlies should have pride too?”
“I suppose.” Mama laughed lightly. “I’m glad you’re making new friends. You’ve always held yourself apart.”
Elsie ran her fingers along the arm of the chair. “I’m not as sociable as you, Mama.”
&nb
sp; “You keep a wall between yourself and others…even with those you love.”
“What do you mean?”
Mama waited a moment, as if choosing her words. “Ever since the fire, you’ve kept everything locked inside. Your father and I let it happen, because we thought you needed time to heal.” She rested her hand on Elsie’s wrist. “I think that was a mistake. It’s time to open up a little.”
A lump grew in Elsie’s throat. The truth of her mother’s words rattled around in her soul.
“When you hold yourself separate from the world, you cheat others of the light God has placed inside you. There is no love without risk, without hurt.”
Elsie touched her collar. “I have reasons to stay closed off.”
“Fiddlesticks. You’ve turned your scars into a shield, an excuse to keep others away. We all have things about ourselves we’d like to hide, but it doesn’t mean we should give in to that desire.” She took Elsie’s hand and tugged it away from her neckline. “I’m glad you’re at Canyon this summer. It’s a chance for you to spread your wings a little. I don’t want you to find yourself alone one day.”
“I’m not alone. I have friends.”
“And how much do they know about what’s going on inside you?” Mother sat back and winced again. “You’re just like Wonderland, Elsie. Beautiful on the outside, a mystery within.”
A laugh bubbled up in Elsie’s chest. “Are you saying I’m a volcano waiting to erupt?”
“I’m saying”—she leaned forward and touched Elsie’s cheek—“you are filled with wonders yet to be discovered.”
Elsie followed Teddy along the Upper Terrace path, the sunshine brightening her day. The tight blue weave of Teddy’s shirt clung to his shoulders, drawing her eyes even when she should be watching her footing. She couldn’t seem to resist staring at his back and the muscles rippling beneath his shirt. Her mother had said pride went before a fall. Maybe attraction did too?
She had a few hours before she’d meet Graham back at her parents’ house for the return journey to Canyon. Even though her mother was sleeping, a romantic walk had been the last thing Elsie had imagined herself doing today.
Teddy glanced over his shoulder. “Almost there.”
She didn’t bother reminding him that she had walked this trail since she was ten years old and knew every spring and pool along the path.
Angel Spring had been active this month, and water trickled from one terrace to another, the sounds providing a cheerful backdrop for their stroll. Elsie could never quite decide whether the chalky-white travertine layers reminded her more of Mayan pyramids or multitiered wedding cakes. Hmm. Perhaps it’s best to avoid any wedding analogies.
The farther they got from the hotel, the fewer people they saw. Most visitors were returning to the cabins and campground for the evening to partake of a late meal or enjoy campfire stories from the ranger on duty. “I can’t believe you’re off today,” Elsie said. “How did you manage that?”
“I worked early this morning.” He blew out a long breath as they reached the top of the steep hill. “Your father told me you were here, so I hoped I could steal you away for a few minutes.”
“And so you have.” She couldn’t hide the tremble in her voice. No man had ever sought her out the way Teddy had. The very thought made her head spin.
The valley spread before them, the familiar view a comfort. Elsie sighed. “I’ve only been gone a few weeks, but I’ve missed this place.”
He eased up behind her, placing a hand on each of her arms. “And I believe it’s missed you too. It’s not the same, you know.”
Elsie suppressed a shiver. She should be marveling at his touch, but every time he got close to her, she struggled against an overwhelming urge to step away. Was that normal for first love?
His palms slid to her wrists as he stepped closer, pulling her into an embrace from behind and resting his cheek against hers. “And I’ve missed you too.”
She swallowed, willing herself to remain stationary. Why was her heart racing so? “You barely know me, Teddy.” His touch seemed too fast. Too familiar.
His thumb rubbed against her sleeve, the sensation muted by her scars.
She tucked her hands beneath her elbows. The last thing she wanted this man doing was feeling her puckered skin. If she continued seeing him, he’d find out eventually. But for the moment, she just wanted to pretend she was like every other girl. Was that wrong?
Her motion didn’t seem to alarm him, in fact he looped his arms under hers, clasping his hands in front of her.
Elsie tried to relax a little, leaning back against his strong frame. It was a beautiful view, and the setting sun cast a rusty-orange glow across the evening sky. She released the breath she’d been holding and tried to focus on preserving this moment, shooing away fear and uncertainty. The scene would make a lovely postcard.
“I know more than you think.” His voice was a mere whisper, inches from her ear.
Elsie tensed.
He lifted one hand and tugged off her knitted cloche hat, allowing the wind to tickle the strands of her hair.
Unwanted chills ran up her spine. Was he getting ready to kiss her? She hadn’t anticipated anything going that far. Not this soon, especially. Thankfully he couldn’t see her expression because she was sure terror was written across her face. Did she even want to kiss this man? He was attractive, sure, and that drew her, but there had to be more to a romance than that. What had her mother said? “It was his servant’s heart.”
He nuzzled her hair, brushing his nose against her ear and inhaling deeply. “You smell amazing, you know that? What is that fragrance?”
“Something Mary bought. I-I don’t remember the name.” She could barely remember her own name, for that matter.
“Remind me to compliment her on it when I come see you this weekend.”
“This weekend?” The statement stopped her. Wasn’t he supposed to ask for another date? Or was presumption another thing about romance that she didn’t understand? “I will,” she said, not knowing how to interpret the clashing emotions inside her.
And with that, his lips brushed her ear, sending a shockwave through her. She couldn’t hold still any longer, twisting in his arms in an attempt to put some distance between them. I’m not ready for this. Not now. Maybe not ever.
He loosened his grip enough for her to turn and face him, but kept his hands firmly planted on her forearms. “Elsie, it’s all right.”
She might not understand her inner turmoil, but she couldn’t let this continue. It wasn’t right to let him hope for a future together, not when she couldn’t even imagine such a thing. He knew so little about her. “No, it’s not. I’m not…I’m really not looking for this sort of—”
“Graham told me.”
Elsie’s heart jumped. “Graham told you what?”
His focus drifted south along her chin and neck before settling somewhere near her collarbone. He paused, as if to consider his words, before lifting his eyes to hers once more.
In that instant, she knew. “He told you about the fire.”
“About what happened to the two of you. About…your injuries.”
If she could have disappeared into the ground at that moment, she would have done so. A churning geyser seemed to have taken up residence in her stomach. “He had no right.”
“I’m glad he did, Elsie. But don’t worry, it won’t change how I feel about you.”
Elsie’s mouth went dry. “And how’s that?” Her voice cracked.
One corner of his mouth hitched upward, and he lifted a hand to her shoulder, trailing his fingers along her collarbone. “I think you’re beautiful.”
“You’re…you’re wrong.” She steeled herself.
“How about you let me decide that?”
She froze as his fingers traveled along her blouse, then s
ettled on the button at her throat. She grabbed his wrist. “No.”
“It’s all right, Elsie. I want to see. Let me prove it to you.”
She jerked back, brushing away his arm.
“Don’t be afraid. I just want to show you that it won’t make any difference to me.” He stepped closer again, a move she mirrored in the opposite direction.
Hot tears stung her eyes. “ ‘Show me your scars,’ is that what you’re saying?” Her chest ached as if an expanding pocket of steam was demanding release. If she’d been in Geyser Basin, she would have noted the time in her logbook. “I’m not some sideshow oddity to be ogled at your whim.”
His brow crumpled. “Of course not. I never said—”
“You never asked, either. I’m not showing you anything. Not today. Not ever. Put it out of your mind right now.”
Teddy held his palms out in a gesture of surrender. “All right, all right. I’m sorry. I just thought it might set your mind at ease. I didn’t mean to come on so strong.” He turned away and stared out over the view. “I didn’t anticipate you misconstruing my intentions.”
Is that what she was doing? Elsie closed her hand around her collar, keeping it close to her neck. She might as well be standing there naked. How dare he even consider such a thing?
“So that’s the sort of man you think I am.” Teddy walked a few steps and turned away from her, his head lowered.
Her shoulders sank. Every time someone got close, her thoughts and feelings jumbled together like a knotted skein of yarn. Teddy must think her rude, presuming the worst about him—and maybe she was. He only wanted to find a way to break through her defenses. Was that so bad?
Her fingers hovered at her throat. She’d hidden her scars for years, unwilling to endure the pain in people’s eyes when they saw her. Was this the time and place to let go of that? Is this what her mother had meant when she encouraged her to open herself up to others?
“I think you’re beautiful.” Teddy’s words soaked deep into her heart. She wanted to wrap them around her shoulders like a silk shawl and just hide there. She’d hardly dared dream of a real relationship—a future—a man capable of seeing beyond her scars. But could she let him? She touched the buttons at her neckline.
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