by E. L. Todd
I didn’t know what to do.
Chapter Twelve
Theo
Shit, I felt bad for Conrad.
It was one thing when Alex found out about my past from my dad, but it would have been totally different if she found out from one of my old lovers. What happened to Conrad was bad luck.
When I called him to ask if he was okay, he didn’t answer. Since he was going through a hard time, I gave him space. I wanted to do something to make the situation better but I knew there was nothing I could do. I just hoped Beatrice would understand how much Conrad cared about her now, even if he didn’t necessarily feel that way a year ago.
Alex kicked off her heels when we got back to my apartment then opened my freezer.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“Looking for ice cream.”
“You think I look like this from eating ice cream?” I asked incredulously.
“Your ego is so big I’m surprised you can fit through your front door,” she snapped.
“I’m just saying…”
She sighed then came back to me.
“Not all of us can have a perfect body and still eat whatever we want.”
“Perfect body?” she asked incredulously.
“Don’t act like you don’t know you’re hot shit.”
She put her hands on her hips and glared at me. “I know I’m not ugly.”
“You need to get new mirrors,” I noted.
She grabbed her heels off the floor and started to put them on.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“Leaving.”
“Why?”
“You’re annoying.”
I kneeled on the floor between her legs then pulled her to the edge of the couch. “Okay, I’ll knock it off.” My lips moved to her neck and I kissed her the way she liked.
“Is Conrad really a jerk like that?”
I stopped kissing her and looked at her. “I’d prefer if you didn’t think about my friend while I kiss you.”
“I’d prefer it if you didn’t kiss me while I’m thinking about your friend.”
“Why do you have to think about him at all?” I asked.
She pulled away. “Did he really do that?”
“Do what?” I asked.
“Play her.”
“No,” I said immediately.
“So, all that stuff that girl said wasn’t true?”
“No, it was,” I said. “But Conrad actually cares about Beatrice. Maybe he didn’t in the beginning, but he did eventually. I know he loves her now.”
“I’m not sure how I would feel about it…”
“Conrad and I aren’t that different. I wasn’t looking for anything serious until you came around.”
“Something serious?” she asked.
“You think I introduced you to my parents because I thought we wouldn’t last?” I asked sarcastically.
She stared at me but didn’t say anything.
“Well, I didn’t. I introduced you because…I care about you a lot. Just because I didn’t feel this way about anyone else doesn’t make it impossible for me to feel it for you.”
“I know…”
I pressed my face to hers. “So, don’t leave.”
“But there’s no ice cream,” she teased.
“I can get you some. And an empanada.”
She smiled. “I do like empanadas.”
“I know what my baby likes.” My hands moved up her thighs until I reached her ass.
“And I know what my man likes.”
“Oh yeah?” I squeezed her ass.
“And I know he’s a boob man, not an ass man.”
“With you, I’m both.”
She smiled. “Good answer.”
“How about I get you ice cream…and you do something for me when I get back?”
“Like what?” she asked.
“Whatever you want to give me.” I pulled her closer to me so she felt my hard-on.
“You think you can buy me with ice cream?”
“I’ll buy you with whatever you want. Just name it.”
“Hmm…this might take awhile.” She pressed her finger against her lip.
“Take your time.” I leaned her back onto the couch then moved my lips to her neck, kissing and sucking the delicious skin.
Her arms immediately moved around me, and her nails dug into my skin. Quiet moans escaped her lips, and she moved her head to give me more access.
My lips moved to her chest, and I pulled down the straps of her dress to reach her breasts. I kissed every inch of her chest, my favorite feature, and sucked her nipples hard.
I slowly peeled her dress away, getting her aroused and ready for me. As more of her body was revealed, I became more excited. She had a perfect body, the kind I fantasized about when I jerked off. Having a real life supermodel in front of me was my greatest dream. I pulled everything off except her panties and heels. Then I moved my lips to her ear. “You still want ice cream?”
She wrapped her legs around my waist and crushed her mouth against mine.
I lifted her from the couch then carried her into my bedroom. When I lay her on the bed, she still clung to me like she was afraid to let me go.
I stopped kissing her for a moment and looked down at her. Seeing the desire in her eyes and her slightly parted lips made my skin prickle. I wanted to remember the sight for as long as I lived.
She grabbed my shirt then yanked it off impatiently. Then she moved for my jeans.
I stood up then kicked my bottoms off along with my boxers and moved over her. My hand gripped her thong and pulled it off. When I saw her naked underneath me, my cock throbbed.
She wrapped her legs around my waist again then hooked her arms around my neck. She looked into my eyes then grabbed my ass, pulling my hips into her.
“Are you ready?” I whispered.
“Shut up and fuck me.” Her lips moved to mine.
I didn’t kiss her back. Those words were sexy, but right now I didn’t find them appealing. I pulled away. “You want me to fuck you?”
“What do you think?” she snapped.
This moment meant something different to both of us. To me, it was special. I wanted to make love to her slowly, to hear her breathe and enjoy it. She wanted me to pound into her like I had with hundreds of other girls. I moved off of her, no longer excited. “I’ll go get that ice cream…”
“What?” She sat up, looking confused. “What’s your problem?”
I pulled my shirt on. “I don’t have a problem.”
“We were just about to have sex and you stopped. Are you gay?”
That pissed me off. “No, we were about to fuck. I don’t want to fuck you. I thought I made that clear.”
She sighed. “I was just in the moment. I didn’t mean it like that…”
“Yes, you did. That was lust, not love, Alex.”
“It’s too early for love.”
“Maybe for you.” I didn’t look at her.
Her eyes moved to mine and they softened. “I…I’m sorry. I didn’t know…”
“Yes, you did.” I finished dressing then walked out. “I’ll be back.”
She didn’t chase after me.
As soon as I got into my truck, I tried to cool off. I was angry and hurt. But I turned up the radio and tried to forget about how Alex let me down. Now I felt like one of the girls I used in my past. And I realized how shitty it felt.
***
We didn’t talk about that moment again. When I came back with the ice cream, we ate it then went to bed. For days afterwards, neither one of us mentioned it. Alex shot looks at me often, her remorse etched into her face. Sometimes she opened her mouth to speak but then she abruptly closed it.
I knew I had no right to be upset with her. She was in the moment and she let her passion burn. She said whatever came to mind, just like I’d done countless times. But I couldn’t get out of the painful mood I was in.
When we worked together, we
didn’t speak. We usually cast playful glances back and forth but now that was nonexistent. Alex walked on eggshells around me, unsure how to act or what to say.
I sat in the break room and played with my phone when Alex moved into the seat across from me. I knew who it was without looking. Her natural scent came into my nose. I’d recognize it anywhere.
She opened her yogurt and ate it quietly.
I kept my eyes glued to my phone.
“Have you talked to Conrad?”
“No.”
“Have you tried calling him?”
“A few times.” I kept my responses short and hoped she would stop talking to me altogether.
She slammed her yogurt down. “It’s been almost a week. Get over it, Theo.”
I lowered my phone and looked at her. “Get over it?”
“We were fooling around and I wanted to have sex. That makes me a bad person?” Anger burned in her eyes. “We’d been seeing each other for a while and we already fooled around. I’m sorry you turned me on and got me all excited. Sorry, I’m human.”
I sighed and looked away, not wanting to have this conversation in the break room.
“Look, I apologized. What more do you want?”
“I just felt used.”
“Used?” she asked. “It’s not like I wasn’t going to call you again.”
“I just…it meant something to me. Then you said that…it just pissed me off.”
She held back a growl. “Like I said, I was in the mood—”
“I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”
“So, you want to ignore me for another week?” she hissed.
The door opened and Chan and Gerald walked inside.
I shot Alex a look that said. “Keep your mouth shut around them.”
She glared at me then looked back down at her yogurt.
“So, when’s this fight going down?” Gerald poured himself a cup of coffee.
“What fight?” I asked.
“Between you and Alex,” he said. “You said you would settle your differences once and for all. Remember?”
“The loser admits defeat and apologizes to the winner,” Chan said.
I completely forgot about that. “We aren’t doing that anymore.”
Gerald laughed. “Because we all know she’d kick your ass.”
I glared at him. “She would not.”
Alex chuckled. “Sure…”
I turned my anger on her. “Excuse me?”
“I kicked your ass last time. I’ll do it again.”
I wanted to strangle her. “I didn’t want to hurt you last time, and now that you’re my girlfriend, I’m even more against it.”
“Be professional,” Chan said. “We all know what happens in the ring doesn’t reflect real life.”
“I’m not hitting my girlfriend,” I argued.
“Sounds like a good excuse…” Gerald said.
“It’s not,” I hissed.
“Leave him alone, guys,” Alex said. “It’s not going to happen.”
“I don’t need you to defend me.” I was already mad at her as it was. Now I was more pissed off.
“Fine,” she said. “We’re having the match. And if you back out, you’ll be considered a coward.”
My eyes were wide. “This is so—”
“Alright,” Chan said. “We’ll start preparing. I need to start collecting bets.” He walked out and Gerald followed behind him.
When Alex and I were alone together, I stared her down without hiding my anger. “This is stupid.”
“You agreed to the challenge. You can’t back down now.”
I leaned forward. “If I didn’t hold back, every bone in your body would be broken. You wouldn’t even be able to move.”
“You’re all talk.”
“No, I’m really not. I’m twice your size.”
“Doesn’t matter.”
“I’m a foot taller than you.”
“Matters even less.”
I couldn’t talk to her or look at her. I just couldn’t do it. I stormed out of the break room and got back to work.
***
When I came home from class, I sat on the couch and watched TV. My phone was off because I didn’t want Alex to bother me. If she did, she would get my voicemail and know I really didn’t want to deal with her.
At nine, someone knocked on my door. “Theo?”
It was Alex. I stayed in my spot and didn’t answer it. If I stayed quiet, she would leave. I put the TV on mute.
She knocked again. “I know you’re home.”
I didn’t move.
The knob wiggled then came free. She opened the door and walked inside.
“Did you just pick my lock?” I snapped.
She held up a paper clip. “Something I learned while living on the streets.”
“If I did that to you, you’d be pissed off.”
“Yeah, I would,” she said. “What’s your point?”
“Why are you here?” I stood up and stared her down.
She sighed and gave me a serious look. “Theo, I’m sorry for everything. I’m sorry I hurt your feelings before. I really care about you and would never do that on purpose. I really miss you. You’ve been avoiding me for weeks, and I’m starting to go crazy.”
My anger dimmed. “Really?”
“Of course.” Her eyes shined with affection. “I wasn’t thinking when we were in bed together. I just blurted the first thing that came to mind. When you kiss me and touch me, I…lose control. It’s not a bad thing.”
I crossed my arms over my chest.
“And I’m sorry I made it seem meaningless. That’s not how I felt at all. You mean a lot to me.”
There was hardly any anger left. When she apologized and seemed sincere, it was hard to stay mad. “It’s okay. I’m sorry I overreacted.”
“You didn’t overreact.” She came closer to me. “If our places were reversed, I would have felt the same way.” She stopped in front of me but didn’t touch me, letting me determine if I was ready.
My hands moved around her waist. “When it comes to you, I guess I’m a little sensitive.”
She moved her arms around my neck. “That’s not a bad thing.”
“It is when I act like a girl,” I teased.
She chuckled. “If anything, it’s sweet. You want our first time to mean something.”
I kissed her forehead. “I do.”
She kissed my chin. “You’re so different than the man I first met.”
“I’m not, actually. Now you just know me.”
She snuggled close to me. “How did I get so lucky to land you?”
I smiled, loving the compliments. “You have a gorgeous rack and nice legs.”
She smirked. “I think there’s more to it than that.”
“Maybe.” I rubbed my nose against hers. “Maybe not.”
***
When we were at dinner, I decided to ask her what I’d been thinking about for a while. “I’m graduating in a week.”
“I know,” she said with excitement. “That’s crazy.”
“Yeah…”
“What are you going to do with your degree?”
I shrugged and kept eating.
“So ambitious,” she said sarcastically.
“I was thinking about moving back to New York…where my family and friends are.”
“Oh.” She averted her gaze and looked at her chicken kabobs.
“But I wanted to see what your plans were.”
“Well, I work here. And I live here.” It didn’t seem like she was interested in moving.
“Well, would you be willing to move to New York? It’s a really cool place.”
She shrugged. “I already lived in the Bronx.”
“Manhattan and the Bronx aren’t the same thing,” I said with a laugh.
She ate a few bites of her rice.
“Is that a no?” I asked sadly.
“No…but I’d have to look for a job again and
find somewhere to live.”
“We could live together.”
She looked at me. “I think it’s too soon for that.”
Rejected. “I can find you a place to stay. And we’ll find jobs.”
“Maybe you will,” she said sadly.
“With your experience and training you will. I’m not worried about it.”
She shrugged. “Maybe…”
“Well, if you don’t want to move, I’ll stay here.”
“Really?” She looked at me with surprise in her eyes.
“Yeah.” I preferred to live in Manhattan but I couldn’t leave Alex.
“You would do that for me?”
“Why are you so surprised?” I asked with a gentle smile.
She picked at her food and stayed quiet.
“What are you thinking?”
She looked up at me. “I feel like our relationship is going really fast. We really haven’t been together very long.”
She was right.
“But I can’t let you stay here just to be with me. I know you belong with your friends and family. I don’t want to hold you back…”
I patiently waited for her to finish.
“So, I’ll move there.”
“Really?” I asked.
“I can’t believe I’m quitting my job and moving for a guy but…it’s what I want to do.”
“It’s not a bad thing,” I said. “Sometimes when you meet someone, you just know.”
“Well, when I met you, I knew I hated you,” she said with a laugh.
I laughed too. “Good point. But now things are different.”
“They are…” She gave me a look full of affection. “I think we should do it.”
I smiled, feeling the happiness burst inside me. “Awesome. I’m excited.”
She sighed. “But I hate the subway. Those things are so dirty.”
“Take a taxi.”
“I’m not rich,” she argued.
“Then have your boyfriend take you around.” I winked at her.
“Maybe I will.”
We found our appetites and starting eating again. When I glanced at her, she was smiling. Now I was excited for graduation and the new things that laid ahead. Alex was coming with me, to share the adventure.
And I couldn’t be happier.
***
The ring was set up and everyone stood on the outside.