by Kennedy Fox
“Promise me if your temp rises or you have trouble breathing, you’ll go to the ER. The nearest hospital is only a half an hour away from you.”
“Okay, Mom,” I concede.
“Cameron,” she pushes, not satisfied with my response. “If I need to drive there, I will.”
“That’s unnecessary. The entire place needs to be disinfected. I’ll go if things get worse. Eli is here and will check on me, too,” I reassure her, hoping to ease her nerves. We’ve been FaceTiming or texting every couple of days since I’ve arrived and when I told her Eli was here too, she had a gleaming look in her eye. She adores him.
“I should be with you,” she argues with a huff.
“No, you shouldn’t. Please, just stay put,” I demand. “Being around me is too dangerous.”
She sighs again. “Cameron, I love you. I just want you to be healthy.”
“I know, Mom. I love you and Dad too. I should let you go, though, so I can rest,” I say calmly, wishing it would rub off on her.
“I’ll send your love. Please keep me updated,” she orders, and I agree before ending the call and going to the bathroom.
I take a shower, hoping it settles my nerves. As the water runs over my body, I lean against the wall. It’s almost too hot, but I breathe in the steam and flower-scented body wash. After a while, I slip on a fluffy robe and wrap a towel around my head.
As I’m walking into the bedroom, I hear a tap on the door. “Cami?”
“Yes?” I ask, going to the edge of the bed.
“I brought you something to eat. It’s on a tray on a small table I moved into the hallway,” he says.
I blink away tears at his sweet gesture. “Thank you.”
“Are you feeling any better?”
I look down at my pruned hands. “Not really, but I just got out of the shower, so I still feel really warm. The steam felt good, though.”
“Take two Tylenol every four to six hours,” he says on the other side of the door, and I hate that we have to stay so far apart. It’s torture after being so close to him.
“I will,” I mutter. “I appreciate you cooking. Hopefully, I can get it down.”
“If anything, it’ll help not to take the meds on an empty stomach and give you some strength.”
“Right now, all I want to do is sleep. Maybe I’ll wake up better.” I snort at my wishful thinking. “Are you okay so far?” I ask.
“Yeah, I feel great besides the fact that I can’t be near you. I miss you already. Chanel misses you, too,” he adds at the end, and it earns him a slight laugh. She must’ve snuck out earlier when he left.
“You can send her in,” I respond, knowing how often she annoys Bruno.
He chuckles. “Nah, she’s fine. The three of us are hanging out. She’s spilling all your secrets, though.”
Somehow, he has me smiling. Few people can do that so easily.
“Never trust a pussy. Sometimes they’re liars.” I grin.
On the other side, he snickers. “I’m walking away now so your food doesn’t get cold. Text me when you’re done, and I’ll come and grab the tray.”
“Okay, I will. Thanks again,” I say and hear his feet shuffle down the hallway with Bruno’s big paws trampling behind.
Once he’s gone, I go to the hallway, and see my mother’s wooden serving tray with a giant bowl of oatmeal, toast with jelly, along with more bottled water and a note.
I lift it, close the door behind me, then climb back into bed. I grab a spoon and dive in. I blow on it and then swallow, enjoying the warmth. It actually feels really good on my throat, and though I have no appetite to continue, I do anyway. Then I open the piece of stationery and smile at Eli’s sloppy handwriting.
Can’t stop thinking about you :)
I’m swooning.
Completely smitten by this man who’s captured my heart.
I wish more than anything we could be together right now and devour each other like we both want.
I take a few more bites then look over at the bottle of Tylenol. Not enough time has passed for another dose, so I force myself to wait before taking more. They haven’t kicked in yet, which means I’ll have to deal with this fever the best I can.
After I’m finished eating, I place the tray outside, then change into some comfy clothes. I text Eli so he knows I’m done and feel sad when I hear him grab everything. I wish he could come in and wrap his muscular arms around me. Instead of dwelling on that, I turn on the TV, but the news is bleak, and it pushes me into a panic, so I click through the channels to busy my mind.
I don’t know for certain what is wrong with me, but it’s best to act like I have the virus and take every precaution to keep Eli safe. Thinking about each moment Eli and I have spent together has my heart racing and my head pounding. I’m more frightened about him getting it than I am for possibly having it.
I adjust my pillow and settle on the Hallmark channel. Though it seems impossible, I try to get lost in a movie where illnesses don’t exist and all the sex scenes fade to black.
Instead of being cooped up in this room with horrible thoughts floating through my mind, I want to be on the couch with Eli watching stupid shows and playing drinking games by the fireplace. It’s become my new normal, and I already miss his company.
In fact, I think I’m falling in love with him. And truthfully, I’m okay with it. He treats me well, calls me out on my shit, and wants the best for me. I’ve never had a man make love to me and please me in the ways Eli has. We understand each other on a higher level, and over the past few days, I’ve seen a side of him I never imagined. Elijah Ross is the whole damn package, and I want him in my life forever.
The movie ends, and another begins. This time, it’s about a couple who grew up together, lost touch, and are now back in the same town. If I wasn’t so out of it, I’d think it was cute and would be more invested in the story. However, I drift in and out of sleep and go from being ice cold to blazing hot. No matter what I do, I can’t get comfortable. At some point, I wake up and check my temperature, noticing it dropped some. My phone buzzes on my nightstand, and when I grab it, I see it’s my brother. I desperately answer it.
“Just seeing how you are.” He sounds exhausted.
“Fever’s high. Chills and sweats. I’ve taken Tylenol every six hours like clockwork, but it doesn’t seem to do anything. Drinking water. I’m eating, though I’m not hungry,” I explain.
“Seems like you’re doing everything you can. I wish there was something more I could say, sis, but there’s not. Make sure you try to walk around some. It won’t be easy, but it’ll keep your lungs functioning. You’ll be tired, and your fever will probably stay high for a week, maybe a little longer, but keep an eye on it. If it doesn’t go down and your coughing worsens, go to the ER.” He recites it as if he’s repeated that dozens of times to his patients.
I blow out a frustrated breath, feeling overwhelmed by everything he’s said. “I’m going to be okay, right?” I know he can’t answer with certainty, but I still want some comfort from him because he’s seen different scenarios from those who’ve tested positive.
“I’m sure you will. If you feel like you can’t breathe, try rolling onto your stomach. It’s helped some of my patients,” he explains. “Stay hydrated. If you’re cold, don’t cover yourself unless you want your fever to increase.”
I laugh, kick off the blanket and pull the sheet over my body. He knows me so well.
“You’re your own best advocate with your health. If something isn’t right, tell Eli and call your doctor. Most are able to recover from home without major complications, just watch for signs. You know you can text me anytime, too.”
“I know.”
“How’s Eli doing? Keeping his distance from you?” I’m sure Ryan is just as concerned about Eli as I am.
“As far as I know he’s okay. Staying away from me but helping from afar.” I wait a few moments. “How are you?” I ask.
He lets out a lengthy breat
h. “Good as I can be. Not sure how much longer my colleagues and I can keep working these back-to-back shifts, but we’re short a few doctors because they ended up getting too sick to work. Luckily, we’ve had teams of medical staff fly in from other states to help.”
That’s the most I’ll get out of him about his well-being and don’t push any further because I can only imagine what he’s seen or had to do. It’s a war zone out there. Ryan has been training to save lives for years, but he wasn’t prepared for a pandemic. None of us were.
“Please take care of yourself,” I plead. He’s my best friend, and I can’t imagine losing him.
“You too, Cameron. Call me when your mind wanders and you’re in freak-out mode. I’ll try to calm you down. Don’t forget to take your meds. It might help with your anxiety,” he says sincerely. A deep voice speaks to him in the background. “I’ve gotta go. I’ll check on you as soon as I can.”
“Sounds good. Thank you,” I offer. “Love ya, bro. Take care.”
“Love you too.”
The call ends, and I sit in silence. Uneasiness and fear build inside me, and the walls seem as if they’re closing in.
I’m having a panic attack.
Lying down, I close my eyes and try to steady my breathing, trying to slow my racing heart. I count down from ten, breathe slowly through my nose, and release it through my mouth. It takes several times before I come back to earth and gain control.
My throat’s dry, so I take sips of water, but even that’s exhausting. Eventually, I fall asleep thinking about Eli. Though I’m not the praying type, I send one up, begging he doesn’t get sick. The realization that we were never safe is like a giant slap in the face, and I wish more than anything this wasn’t happening.
Chapter Twenty
ELIJAH
DAY 18
Three days have passed since Cameron started running a fever. I’ve wanted to do nothing but hold her in my arms and tell her everything will be fine, but I can’t. All I can do is make her food, leave it in the hallway, and write sweet notes on stationery I found in the kitchen. When I go to her door, I hear her dry cough and that she’s gasping for air. I want to burst inside her room and confirm she’s okay, but I also understand the severity of the situation. Cami’s already warned me, more concerned about my asthma than anything else, and I don’t want to upset her further.
Her cough sounded worse this morning, so I called Ryan again. He didn’t answer, but I know he will as soon as he can. I keep my phone on me and charged at all times, making sure the sound is up just in case Cami needs anything. She hasn’t asked for much help, and I don’t know if it’s because she’s too proud or if I’m doing such an outstanding job of keeping her stocked full of water and food that she doesn’t need anything.
Sometimes, I pace in front of her room. Other times, I sit with my back against the door and just talk to her. She responds, but I can tell she’s weak and tired. I’ve never felt so hopeless in my life.
Chanel has rubbed against my legs and jumped on my lap so many times she’s learned how to guilt me into giving her double treats and wet food. She sometimes meows outside of Cami’s door, which makes her laugh. Last night, she watched the news and learned some tigers in a zoo tested positive, and although there’s conflicting evidence confirming that, she won’t allow Chanel inside her room anymore to be on the safe side. The cat and I have bonded over being locked out, and I’ve tried to keep my mind busy by taking Bruno on extra walks as much as possible for fresh air. It’s still cool and crisp outside, and I can’t wait for spring.
When I’m sitting still is when the fear of what’s going on around me settles in. Cami could have the virus. I want to constantly ask how she is, but I also don’t want to be annoying.
My mind wanders further, and I can’t stop thinking about the night we spent together. I’ve never experienced chemistry like this with anyone, except her.
Something changed between us, and we haven’t been able to explore it further since she got sick. I haven’t mentioned us being together, and the silence has me doubting everything. In the back of my mind, I’ll never be good enough for her or her family’s standards. I don’t have the social status her parents require, and Cami’s always been out of my league. I’m still scraping by financially and hope that eventually changes, but the future is unknown at this point. Even if I got promoted, I don’t think her father would approve because I don’t have a trust fund to pay for everything.
Just as I’m walking into the kitchen, my phone vibrates in my pocket. Thinking it’s Cami, I hurry and answer, but it’s Ryan.
“How is she?” he asks. His tone is rushed, and in the background, different medical codes are blared over a loud intercom.
I exhale slowly. “She’s coughing nonstop, and I know she’s having trouble breathing by the sounds of her wheezing. I check on her every few hours, but I don’t feel like I’m doing enough,” I tell him. “We FaceTimed a couple times and she looked absolutely miserable.”
“All you can do is help her from a distance. Stay away from her, Eli. If Cameron has the virus, she’s highly contagious, and I’m worried about what would happen if you got it. Unless her coughing gets worse or she struggles to breathe, they won’t admit her with how limited they are on space and equipment. She texts me each time she takes her temp, and her fever seems to be holding steady for now,” Ryan explains.
“But it’s still high,” I say with defeat in my voice.
“It is, but she still won’t be admitted unless she’s worse than—”
“Worse than what she is now?” My agitation takes over. I’m so frustrated. Not with him, but over the testing situation and how our healthcare system is overwhelmed to the point of nearly collapsing. This situation of uncertainty weighs me down, and I’ve never been so stressed before.
“I know you’re upset. I am too. I’m also concerned about my sister, but the hospitals are complete madhouses. We can’t get the supplies we need, and the staff are growing exhausted. Honestly, she’s better off staying at the cabin unless her symptoms and condition worsen. She’s healthy, young, and is still breathing on her own. Cameron is doing better than a lot of people right now, and she’s a fighter.”
“You’re right, man. I’m sorry for adding more to your plate. I know you’re going through hell. I’m not upset with you, just concerned, exhausted, stressed, and anxious—which I’m sure you are too. I hate that Cami isn’t well and is all alone in there. I’m worried about you and my family too. Everything feels so damn heavy and uncertain right now, but I’m gonna do whatever I can for her.”
“I know you will.”
“Don’t forget to take care of yourself too.”
“I’m trying.” I clear my throat, knowing his time is limited, but I don’t want him to be blindsided later. “Before I let you go, I should tell you something.”
He chuckles softly. “That you’re in love with my sister? Because I’ve known that for years.”
I smirk. “Yeah, but now that she doesn’t want to murder me as much anymore, I think I have a real chance with her. I hope at least.”
“Well, aren’t you glad I offered the cabin now?” he says, amused with himself. “I’m happy for you guys. It’s about goddamn time.”
“Wait, you knew she’d be here?”
“My mom briefly mentioned Cameron might be going up there, but she wasn’t positive. Though she never said anything about Cameron bringing Zane. Honestly, I figured if you both ended up in the same place, you two could finally talk through your issues.”
“Sneaky bastard,” I quip. “I haven’t been able to bring it up to her yet, but no matter what, she’ll always be the one for me.”
“I better be the best man at your wedding,” he taunts.
“Your lack of sleep is making you delusional.” I laugh, though the idea of marrying Cami and making her my wife and the mother of our children makes me smile.
“I’ll keep checking in on you guys when I can, but I gotta
get back.” He releases a deep sigh, and I can tell he’s broken. Each passing day has become more tragic than the previous.
“No problem. We’ll chat soon, or I’ll text you.”
“Sounds good. Be safe, my friend.” Then he ends the call.
I stand in the kitchen with my back against the counter. When I close my eyes, I see flashes of Cami and me together. I replay her lips brushing against mine, and my firm hands on her hips. Right now, I want to kiss the freckles sprinkled across her nose and hold her tight against my chest. Dealing with the unknown while being completely isolated from reality is scary. When we were together, it wasn’t so bad, but now that I’m alone, I want nothing more than to be with her.
Though I did a thorough clean of the cabin when she first got sick, I continue to re-sanitize constantly. After I grab some Clorox wipes, which are like gold these days, I wipe down every surface. Whatever I can’t use them on, I spray Lysol until the space smells like my mother came over and cleaned from top to bottom.
Grabbing my inhaler and my laptop, I sit on the couch to get some work done. I answer an ungodly number of emails. Though our company’s revenue has fallen by thirty percent across the board, some are still reporting to work. Each year around this time, I finalize enough contracts for my commission check to catch me up on bills through the summer. Without that, I’ll struggle, even if I have three roommates who help share the bills. I try to push the thoughts away, but it’s impossible not to worry. It doesn’t take long before I’m surfing the web and reading more articles. I shut the screen, not wanting to see any more, not when Cami is upstairs with a high fever.
Noticing it’s now lunchtime, I make some chicken noodle soup and find some saltines for Cami. I grab a few bottles of water and carry it all upstairs.
I placed a small table outside of her room so Bruno doesn’t help himself to her food, though I’ve been keeping him downstairs as much as possible. Setting it down, I tap on the door, then walk away.