“Aren’t you going to tell me the idea?” Andalin asked, her impatience showing in her tone.
Neither answered. They passed a look between them, sending Andalin back to the days when she was an outsider. The sudden feeling of rejection pushed her to her feet. “Very well,” she said, her voicing wavering, “I am tired, so I will say good night.”
Matilda must have noticed her discomfort. “Oh, child! It’s not like that. We’ll tell ye when the time is right. Ye are a crucial part of the plan. I promise! We just have to do a little groundwork to make sure everythin’ falls into place.”
Andalin didn’t know if she should believe Matilda. She wasn’t a child who could be so easily tricked by her mother into thinking one thing when it was really another. She wasn’t going to beg either.
She put on a tight smile. “I understand.”
Andalin left the kitchen and returned to her bedroom. She saw the white ball gown lying across her chair and remembered her father’s question: “Andalin, would you like to be a lady?” If she were a true lady, a ball would be the loveliest thing she could ever imagine. It was easy to picture herself dancing in the arms of a strong and handsome young man. She closed her eyes and swayed back and forth. He would have steely blue eyes and flaxen hair just like—
Andalin stopped. She was beginning to fantasize about Ellis. She’d hardly spoken to him since the Kerrigan family arrived. Instead of rejoicing in her newfound friendship with Katrina, she found herself missing her private conversations with Ellis. It was easier when she’d fancied herself with Lord Kerrigan, because her feelings there were based on pure fantasy and no foundation. Now she finally felt ready to search for a husband, and she had found herself the worst candidate possible.
***
A few days later Andalin found herself at a quiet breakfast with only Lord Kerrigan and Katrina.
“I heard your dancing lessons are going well,” Katrina said, passing a dish of orange marmalade to Andalin.
Andalin glanced at Lord Kerrigan, who smiled warmly in reply. “Yes, Lord Kerrigan has been assisting in my learning. Your brother is an excellent teacher.”
He returned the compliment. “And you are an excellent student. I am looking forward to opening the first dance with you at the ball next week. Suitors will flock to your side when they see how you float across the floor.” The warm smile he offered in her direction did not affect her as it once did.
The affectionate smile did not escape Katrina’s attention, and she winked conspiratorially in Andalin’s direction. Andalin’s knife paused in the air between the marmalade and her toast.
The past few days had accelerated her friendship with Lord Kerrigan. They were constantly in each other’s company, even though Katrina often dominated the conversation. Andalin noticed Lord Kerrigan was becoming increasingly attentive to her. His ready smile seemed directed her way more than before.
But it wasn’t until this moment that she put together what it could all mean. Had Ellis noticed? Would he even care? No, of course he would not want his best friend to fall for a simple country girl disguised as a lady. They were supposed to fool some other unsuspecting gentleman.
Ellis chose that moment to join them. Her heart lurched with pleasure.
“Excuse my tardiness,” Ellis said, as he took the empty chair beside Andalin.
She was conscious of her appearance and worried her hair might not be to his liking. He had mentioned it a time or two. She tried to act as though his arrival was nothing and continued working on her toast.
“I had no idea you liked marmalade so much.” He pointed to her toast.
She looked down to see there was twice as much jelly as bread. Smiling, she took a large bite to prove she had done it on purpose. She coughed once and then gagged down the overly sweet bite.
“I, too, love orange marmalade,” Lord Kerrigan said in a chipper voice.
Ellis looked at him strangely, and Andalin prayed he would be blind to what was happening.
Breakfast dragged. Katrina was the only one sensible enough to eat and move on. Andalin, on the other hand, ate as slowly as possible in anticipation of securing a private word with Ellis. She wanted to know why he was late and if he had spent his night combing the trees of the Black Forest for signs of the witch.
Unfortunately, Lord Kerrigan seemed content to sit at the table until noon. Ellis finished his breakfast, looked at the both of them suspiciously, and then excused himself. Andalin sighed inwardly. There went her chance.
With a gleam of anticipation in his eye, Lord Kerrigan leaned across the table to speak with her. “Do you remember the hill overlooking Thornton Way?”
Andalin nodded. “Yes, of course.”
“What think you of an open carriage ride there tomorrow? I know it’s a bit chilly, but we would dress appropriately and bring blankets. It’s not fair if the gentlemen are the only ones who get outside.”
“What a lovely idea,” Andalin said. Her outings were too few and far between, and because of the change in season and the cold weather, Ellis had put an end to her daily horse riding. “If Lord Cadogen approves, of course.”
Lord Kerrigan grinned triumphantly and jumped to his feet. “I will ask him immediately. I will take leave of you, but we shall meet after teatime for our next dance lesson.”
Andalin pushed her plate away. At times like this, when her mind could not sort itself out, a girl required a very good book.
Chapter 16
Slipping away to the library, Andalin soon found herself happily thumbing through a book that caught her eye.
“I didn’t know you were interested in sailing.”
Andalin looked up to see Ellis watching her quietly from the door. “Forgive me. I did not hear you come in.” She made to stand, but he put up his hand to insist she stay seated.
“I have learned two things about you this morning. First, marmalade and now sailing.”
Andalin took in the sketch of a large warship before closing the book. “I know little of sailing, which is why this title so appealed to me. Have you been to the sea before?”
Ellis nodded, folding his arms comfortably across his chest. “Many times.”
“I’ve always wanted to see the ocean. Did you ever fight pirates?”
“Yes, actually,” Ellis said with a small laugh. “Why would you ask?”
Andalin remembered the last story she had told Saber and Lily, the children from Corbridge who loved hearing her stories. “Did you know a man named Red Beard?”
Ellis’s eyes turned playful. “The best swordsman of the sea?”
Andalin gaped. “Then, it’s true!”
“I don’t know of what you’re speaking, so I can’t confirm.”
Andalin waved him into the room and was pleased when he sat on the small settee by her under the window. “The way the story goes, you fought the dreaded pirate Red Beard to avenge your darling, Winifred. You fooled him by pretending to be his friend, and when you had learned his weakness with the sword, you finally attacked. After beating him soundly, he called for mercy, and you relented. You stole back your ladylove, and poor Red Beard was so angry he ripped his beard clean off his chin.”
She waited while he finished laughing. “Well?” Andalin asked impatiently. “Is any of it true?”
Ellis wiped a tear from his eye. “Sometimes I truly forget myself when you are around. It will be a hard day for all of Braitwood Hall when we marry you off.”
Did he wish she would stay? She suppressed her feelings, remembering he had not answered her question, and tried again. “I must know if there is even a shred of truth about the story.”
Ellis gave her half a smile. “I hate to take away all the mystery of the Dark Rider. It seems to be all the self-respect I own.”
“Please,” Andalin said with a touch of sarcasm. “It’s entirely your own fault!�
� Then she took her book and rapped it none too lightly on his leg. “But is it true?”
Ellis stole the book from her. “Patience. If I’m going to reveal any secrets, it isn’t going to be to a woman who beats it from me.”
Andalin laughed. For once their conversation was not so serious. “All right, but I really must know.”
“Why?”
Andalin told him about the children. “Saber especially loved to hear stories about you. His father ran off, and his poor mother is forced to work long hours doing laundry and sewing to provide for her little ones. The tales of the Dark Rider are a good distraction from his sad reality.”
Ellis’s smile grew soft as he spoke. It was rare to see him so relaxed and carefree, and she very much preferred it.
“It’s true I’ve fought pirates. Not because I was ever a real sailor but because I was unlucky enough to be on board when we were attacked. Any skill I have with the sword must be credited to my father. I’m not the best, by any means. Men mostly duel with pistols these days, for good reason.”
“And Winifred?” Andalin did not know why she was asking. If Ellis hadn’t fallen for the beautiful and caring Katrina, then no amount of Winifreds could have turned his head.
“Winifred? No, I don’t think I have ever met a woman with that name.” Ellis looked sideways at her. “Are you disappointed? I know how young ladies adore stories of unrequited love.”
Andalin giggled and then covered her mouth. “I hate to admit it, but we do. Saber didn’t care much for them, so he won’t mind. I hope someday to tell him all the stories I know about you. The real ones.”
Ellis looked appreciatively at her. He sank deeply into his seat and closed his eyes.
“Ellis?” Andalin asked.
Ellis didn’t open his eyes—just mumbled, “Hmm?”
“Were you out last night?”
“Yes, Mama.”
Andalin grabbed her book from his relaxed hands and thumped him again on his leg. He opened his eyes for a moment and laughed but then closed them again and resumed his relaxed state.
It pleased her to see him so comfortable in her company. She opened her book and started to read. When she told her story to Saber, she would also include a few details about ships. The boy would most likely never have a book on ships to learn for himself, and he had a great sense of adventure. She only hoped she would get a chance to see him again.
Andalin read several pages before she heard a soft snore come from Ellis. It felt natural sitting next to him. She was glad he’d sought her out. She craved time with just him. Truly, she believed it would steady her nerves as she spent the next week preparing for her very first ball.
Instead of reading, she found herself staring at Ellis. From the strong lines of his jaw to his prominent Adam’s apple, she memorized every detail. She noticed the way the tuft of blond hair on top curled slightly as it fell over his forehead and the top of his mask.
That dratted mask.
It ruined the perfect image she had in her mind of what Ellis should look like. She wanted to know every part of his face. A desire like she had never felt before took over her, and she reached over to his mask to lift it up.
She froze, her fingers mere inches from his face. What was she doing? Even if she wanted to see the scars beneath his mask, she could never simply peek. It was too fitted to his face. She would have to untie it from the back. His head was smashing the part tying it anyway, and it would be impossible to remove.
As if she had commanded him with her thoughts, Ellis turned his head. The strings of his mask were staring her right in the face. Andalin carefully closed her book and removed it from her lap. Was she really, really ready? Her curiosity pushed her to act, but she had to be sure she was prepared for what she would see. She thought about how much her feelings had changed for Ellis. If she were honest with herself, then she would admit she felt the closest she had ever felt to loving a man. Never had she worried and hoped for someone like she did for Ellis. Never had she desired someone’s smile or approval so much either.
If she truly loved him, then his scars would not make any difference to her. She would love him still. While she might recoil at first, she would get used to seeing them. She would have to, if they were ever to . . .
Andalin couldn’t finish her train of thought. She had to see first, and then she would know if it was even a possibility. But how to remove the mask? She could untie the strings and loosen it enough to peek. Then she could retie it and act as if she had never seen anything. When he awoke, she would chat politely with him and he’d never be the wiser.
Her heart raced. An opportunity like this might never present itself again. It was now or never. Her hands shook as she raised them to the strings at the back of his head. She brought one knee up on the couch, where she would have a better view of the top of his face. She peered down at him and ever so carefully pulled at the strings. Her breath stilled in her throat. The knot slowly came undone. She swallowed and released the tension in the mask until she could see the first part of his forehead.
An arm snaked around her waist, dropping her across Ellis’s lap in one fluid motion. He pulled her to him, smashing her face against his. Her head became the leverage he needed to keep his mask in place while he used his other hand to wind the string until it was tight again. He must have shoved the string into his tight collar, because he suddenly had another arm around Andalin. He turned her face so their lips met.
Andalin was completely taken back with Ellis’s fiery kiss. Time stopped, and the rest of the world ceased to exist. Her lips burned when he finally released her. Dazed, she could not remember anything for a moment. Only that she had experienced the sweetest moment of her life. Then suddenly she realized she was sitting on Ellis’s lap and looking into a pair of very angry eyes.
Andalin’s eyes widened in return, and she peeled herself from his lap and back to her seat on the settee.
Ellis stood and retied his mask properly. His hands fell to his hips. “That was a dirty trick.”
She was speechless. What was she supposed to do, agree? Embarrassment burned her cheeks like hot irons.
Ellis tore his gaze away from her to the window, his heavy breathing making it hard for her to discern how angry he really was.
Andalin curled up on the couch, her hands clasped together in what felt like an extremely guilty position.
“Someday I hope to not have to wear this mask. But that day is not today.” Andalin whipped her head upward. His voice wasn’t angry at all. It was calm, almost regretful.
“Are your scars so very bad?”
Ellis nodded. “I’m afraid my scars are of the worst kind. They are worse than ugly.”
Andalin stood. “You are considerate to keep others from being uncomfortable at the sight of them. But we are good friends now. At least, I hope you feel we are. I can get used to seeing you without your mask. I know I can. You deserve to be free of that contraption, at least in your own home.”
Ellis stared at her but did not respond right away. Finally, he said, “I thank you, Annie. For looking past my mask and seeing me as I really am.”
Andalin’s breath caught. She loved him. She knew it in that very instant, and the thought filled her entire being. She did see past his mask. She saw the caring, loyal man from inside. She stepped toward him.
“Please”—he held up his hand—“be still for a minute. I need to distance myself from you, but I have not said what I came to the library to say.”
Ellis was a greater gentleman that she had given him credit for. Andalin took her seat again, her mind racing in a million directions. Was he going to tell her he felt the same way? Dare she hope?
“This might come as a surprise to you, but—”
“Lord Cadogen?” Katrina interrupted from the doorway. Andalin released the breath she was unaware she’d still been holding.
“Yes?” Ellis said as he turned to face Katrina.
“I was wondering if I might have a word with you in private.”
Ellis looked at Andalin and then reluctantly nodded to Katrina. Andalin waved her in. “If you will excuse me, I have the book I want.”
After leaving the two alone with the door wide open, Andalin went to find a quiet spot to read in the main floor sitting room. Well, the only sitting room without Holland covers draped over the sofas.
As she settled herself into a secluded chair by a corner window, she wondered what Katrina and Ellis could be talking about. How many times had she wanted to speak with Ellis alone? Was it truly as simple as asking like Katrina had?
Andalin opened her book so anyone passing by would think she was reading. And then she closed her eyes and replayed Ellis’s kiss in her mind. Her cheeks warmed, and she hid her grin behind the pages. Eventually she gave up after reading the first two sentences over and over again and closed the book.
A preoccupation with thoughts of Ellis would never do. The likelihood of him confessing his undying love, or even feeling such depth of emotion for her, was laughable. He never would have kissed her had she acted like a decent young lady. Whether he reciprocated her feelings or not, she would always have the sweet memory of their kiss.
Chapter 17
Lady Kerrigan, like her daughter, had requested a private moment with Ellis. She, too, needed to speak with him. He’d wager it was about the same thing: her son and Annie. Kerrigan was a grown man and could make his own decisions. They should be speaking to him, not Ellis.
Ellis went to his room first and collected his riding cloak and gloves. After he spoke with Lady Kerrigan, he was going for a ride. There were too many women in his house. Mrs. Trenton had only voiced what he had already concluded only hours before. But something more agitated him. Kerrigan’s feelings aside, Ellis had kissed Annie. He slapped his riding gloves against his leg.
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