“I do not think you understand—”
“—that’s where we’re going. Sofi and I. That’s the next logical place to investigate.” I took Sofi by the hand and began to march back to the house so we could gear up, then stopped. “I don’t suppose you have a car we can borrow?”
Aleks sighed. “Keys in the farmhouse. Car in the garage. But you will not find anything there. It is not what you think.”
“Thanks, Aleks. But I’m a professional.” I replied. “You keep an eye out here. Protect the village. We’ll take care of the vampire.”
Ten minutes later, we were on our way to stab some vampires at Castle Ravadinovo.
Chapter Twenty-Three
What a goddamn waste of time that was.
I should have known before we got there this wasn’t going to be the right kind of castle. I mean, who builds a castle out in the middle of a farm field? Any good vampire castle will be tucked away in the mountains. Ideally, with some cliffs for a jilted lover to throw herself to her death, so the vampire stalks the nearby village as it suffers an eternity of mourning for its lost love.
At the very least, when you hear “Bulgarian castle” you’d think it would be scary, right?
Castle Ravadinovo was none of these things. What it was instead, was the weirdest damned castle I’d ever seen. Think of if Disneyland had an honest-to-goodness life-sized real castle in the middle of it. It would be basically indistinguishable from Castle Ravadinovo. No bats, no belfries, no dungeons, and no caskets. Not even a creaky old doorway.
Instead, the place was absolutely beautiful. Like out of a storybook. Built only about twenty years ago, it’s now basically a tourist attraction perfect for photo opportunities and wedding shoots. Peacocks and swans roamed the lush grounds, and thick vines of ivy crept up the stone walls of the towers. Fountains and statuaries were everywhere, along with an unusually large number of Jesus statues and crucifixes. Hell, even the castle itself was shaped like a cross.
“Try and enjoy yourself,” Sofi urged. “It is not every day you are in a fairytale. And I think we could both use a break.”
“There has to be more to this place,” I argued. “No one just builds a castle anymore. This has to be the work of vampires.” But as we explored the grounds, nothing seemed amiss. When Sofi clapped her hands with glee as a couple trotted by on a pair of horses, all I could think was the horses were probably vampires. How they were out in the daytime, and why they were horses, I didn’t know. But they had to be vampires. Everyone here had to be a vampire. It was too damned weird.
“Take a picture, Phoenix,” Sofi urged, as she leaned in to kiss one of the many stone toads dotting the castle grounds. “Perhaps he will turn into a prince since today you are a grump.”
“Or maybe he’ll turn into a vampire…” I muttered and took the photo.
Things finally started to look up when we entered the castle itself. A grand arched dining hall straight out of Game of Thrones perked me up a bit, but when I noticed it was roped off, I was reminded this whole damn thing was nothing but a carnival attraction. The wine cellar likewise piqued my interest, until I realized the stalagmites in the “cave” it was “carved from” of were all nothing more than painted concrete. Still, I stuck my head down every closed-off hallway and surreptitiously picked the lock of every locked door just in case the façade was all part of their plan.
Nonetheless, Sofi had a great time. And once I gave up on any hope of finding a vampire there, I did too. It was pretty magical, especially if you could ignore all the tourists there posing and taking photos. Maybe even a little romantic. As we strolled through the gardens a second time, I took Sofi’s hand in mine, and she didn’t pull away. The path eventually led to a bridge, which for some reason had waterfalls coming out of the bridge itself, and as we stopped and watched a pair of black swans gliding across the water, I leaned in for a kiss. She turned her head, and I caught her on the cheek. Not what I was aiming for, but still, progress.
On the drive back to the farmhouse, we both remained silent, lost in our thoughts. Again, we’d hit a dead end … and other than a murdered goat, I had nothing to go on. Perhaps the next day we’d unearth a hot new lead. Maybe Aleks had discovered something or remembered a tip he’d forgotten. But that was for the next day. After the letdown at the castle, I was too damned depressed to hunt vampires and sure as hell not in the mood to hear the Bulgarian version of “I told you so.”
Chapter Twenty-Four
“Why do you want to find her?” Sofi scooped a spoonful of beans into her mouth. After the day at the castle, I hadn’t been in the mood to drive into town and find a restaurant. Instead, we decided to rustle up a meal from whatever food we could find in the farmhouse. Everything in the fridge had rotted or gone bad, and the loaf of bread in the bread box was now a mossy garden, so our options were limited to the nonperishables. Whoever the previous owner had been, he sure had a thing for beans. Half the cupboards were stacked with cans of them: kidney, cannellini, black, pinto, and even a few cans of lima beans. Either the guy loved beans or hated them so much they’d accumulated to the point where they overflowed the shelves. Regardless, they’re what we had for dinner.
“Find who?” I replied, through a mouthful of mashed pintos. “Cami? Nancy? The farmer’s daughter? Any of the other unknown number of girls who are missing we don’t even know about?”
Although she could tell I was upset, Sofi gently prodded. “All of them, I suppose. Though I was referring to Nancy…” her voice trailed off, and she stirred her beans in quiet contemplation.
I’d been wondering the same thing lately. Why was I so damned determined to find this girl? I didn’t know her. I didn’t know any of them. Because I could? Because it was my destiny? Sounded like more of an excuse than a reason. Of course, I’d had these questions before. Every time I’m on the hunt and hit a wall, the questions come up. Who was I to go out into the world as some kind of rogue monster hunter? That’s what we have police and armies for—to catch the bad guys.
Problem is, they don’t always find the bad guys. And they particularly don’t find them when they don’t know what they’re looking for.
“Belinda,” I answered. “In the end, I think it all comes down to Belinda.”
“Your sister…”
I nodded. “My twin sister. She went missing when we were kids. Twelve years old.”
Sofi reached her hand across the table and placed it on mine. “I’m sorry, Phoenix. Did they ever find her?”
“No. Never. No one knows what happened.” I took a deep breath and peered into Sofi’s eyes. In them, I saw something familiar—the same vision of heartbreak, loss, and desperation that had plagued my face for nearly three decades. I couldn’t let it scar hers. “Actually, that’s not true. I know, or at least I think I do.”
Sofi gripped my hand tighter and leaned in. Even after the beans, her breath still smelled sweet.
“When we were kids, we used to play in the woods. We’d make up games and have all kinds of adventures out there. It was the place we could escape from everything else and be ourselves,” I said. “All kinds of things live in the forests where I grew up. Wild pigs, coyotes, bears, alligators, and even panthers. But they tend to leave people well enough alone. You make enough noise, and they won’t come near you. Just have to stay out of their way. One night, when we were on our way back home, something else came out of those woods… and it took Belinda.”
“Was she kidnapped? A child predator?”
“Oh, it was a predator alright. But not the kind you’re thinking of.”
“Then what was it?”
I hesitated to answer, knowing how stupid it sounded. Everyone I’d ever told my theory to had either laughed or patted me on the back to tell me they heard what I said, but that I was nuts. “Bigfoot. It had to be Bigfoot. That’s the only thing I can come up with that makes any sense.”
Sofi lifted her hand to her mouth and shielded a smile. At least she had the polite manners
to hide her reaction. “That’s why you spent so much time in the woods growing up?” she asked. “You were searching for Bigfoot?”
I stood from the table and carried my bowl the sink. Water ran from the faucet, rinsing away the gravy and leftover bits of beans, and I stared out the kitchen window onto the fields as they slowly darkened in the setting sun. Behind me, I heard Sofi rise from her seat and pad over to where I stood.
“I’m sorry, Phoenix. I am trying not to laugh,” she whispered from behind me. “I have seen the things you have seen now. And I believe you.”
“That thing in the woods I told you about before. The monster.” I turned and faced her; our bodies dangerously close to one another. “I thought that was it. Back when I tracked it down, I thought that was it… and maybe it was. But I never found Belinda.”
“But you saved the boy.” Sofi raised her hand to my face and stroked the mess of a beard that had grown on my chin over our journey.
“I did. I saved the boy. And I died doing it,” I answered. “That was the first time I ever entered Eitherspace, and it scared the hell out of me. But afterward, after I found myself safe at home, I turned on the television and saw the boy had found his way out and was safe. I knew then that even if I couldn’t help my sister, I could help others.”
A lone tear formed at the corner of Sofi’s right eye, and she wiped it away silently. Then, taking a step back, she clapped her hands together and exclaimed, “That’s it. Tonight, we will have fun. We will forget all of this for a few hours and enjoy life. Then tomorrow, we will save them all.”
She put her hand into her pocket and took out a pair of pills. She popped the first into her mouth, then pressed her body to mine, put her fingers to my lips, and slid the other pill between them.
Before I knew it, she’d run off to the bedroom. I could hear her rummaging through her bag, and less than a minute later, she was back in the main part of the house, holding her phone high above her head like a trophy. “Dance with me, Phoenix!” she shouted over the music that began to blare from her phone’s little built-in speakers. “I chose this in your honor. It is from the best French band ever. They are a national treasure. Can you guess what it is?”
Some synths over a house-y kind of rock beat kicked in, followed by the plucking of a guitar. I had to admit it was catchy, and before I knew it, I was at Sofi’s side, dancing along to the rhythm. “Do you give up? It is a band called… wait for it… Phoenix!”
“Damned fine name,” I exclaimed over the tinny speakers. “I dig it!”
That song flowed into another and another, and as we danced, the drugs took hold. Everything was right again—or if not right, at least put into perspective. We couldn’t do anything for those lost girls tonight. Not without stabbing randomly into the dark. So why let that get us down? We were alive, and we were healthy. And Sofi … Sofi was beautiful. We danced for what must have been hours. Just giving ourselves over to the music felt so damn freeing.
And then it came back—that horrible, stabbing pain in my gut. I dropped to my knees, clutching my stomach, and Sofi hurried to my side. “Phoenix, what is wrong? Is it the beans?”
I’ve had plenty of bad gas in my life, but this wasn’t gas. The stabbing was in the wrong place to be the kind of pain that could be healed by conjuring a Class IV booty vapor. This was higher up and more specific. This was in the place where I’d been stabbed and, for some reason, it hurt like hell.
“Hurts,” I grunted. “Have to lie down.”
Sofi helped me to my feet and helped me over to the couch. I laid down on my side, squinting as the shots of pain tore through my abdomen, and she ran off, back to the bedroom. A few seconds later she was back at my side, a handful of pain pills in one hand and a glass of water in the other. As she tried to put them into my mouth, I pushed her hand away.
“Take them,” she said. “They will help.”
“Already have enough drugs in me. Not ready to overdose again. Died enough lately.”
“You’d need to take a lot more than this to overdose. They’ll make you sleep, but that is all.” She brushed the back of her hand across my forehead as she spoke. “And the pain will be gone.”
Another stabbing pain ripped through my gut, and I took the pills. As I swallowed them down, Sofi crawled onto the couch in front of me and wrapped my arm over her.
“Hold me, Phoenix. Just hold me, and everything will be alright.”
I tried to stay awake, to enjoy the sensation of her body next to mine. But with the ecstasy and the pain meds all mixing together, sleep came much sooner than I would have liked. Still, it was a restful sleep. One free of the terrors and pain that had wracked so many recent slumbers.
It would have been the perfect end to a shitty day—if that damned banging on the farmhouse door hadn’t come back and woken me up again.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Along with pounding on the door, a low moaning sound echoed against the wooden walls of the farmhouse, so loud and close I could have sworn it was coming from someplace inside. The door rattled again under the heavy fists or boots slamming against it from the other side, and I rose from the couch, only to discover Sofi was nowhere to be seen. Another groan followed, and now that I was sitting, I was certain the groaning was coming from inside.
“Sofi! Sofi, where are you?” I shouted over the raucous beating. Another groan rang out, as if in reply, and a huge ripping sound like a duck being stepped on by an ogre tore through the house.
“I am in here,” Sofi yelled back from the direction of the bathroom. “My stoma---” but another horrible fart cut her off midsentence. “Is there someone at the door?”
I bounded to the bathroom door and, catching a whiff of the damage our bean dinner had inflicted on Sofi’s bowels, tried not to breathe. “Whatever was here last night… it’s back,” I whispered. “Hurry up and finish whatever you’re doing in there. I need you.”
The pounding continued, each bang louder and more vicious than the last. Sooner or later, whatever was on the other side was either going to bust the door down or give up and leave. Neither of those sounded like smart options. Leaving the rotten stench seeping through the bathroom keyhole behind, I dashed back across the farmhouse to the front window. This time when I pulled the curtains back, our visitor remained in view. A pale man, not much older than me, and dressed in a dirtied suit stood on the porch. He held his clenched hands in fists above his head and brought them down on the door, this time hard enough to knock a mirror crashing from the wall to the floor.
“Who is it?” I jumped when Sofi spoke. I hadn’t heard her leave the bathroom … or flush … or wash her hands. But with what was going on I figured her hygiene was the least of my concerns.
“Vampire, from the looks of it. Only one way to find out for certain though.” I strode to the front door and put my hand on the knob. “Go grab the stakes,” I said to Sofi. “We might need them.” As she did so, I cleared my throat and shouted through the door. “Who is it?”
At the sound of my voice, the pounding stopped, and I could hear heavy breathing from the other side of the slab of lumber separating us from our new guest. From across the room came the rattling of loose wood as Sofi gathered the stakes.
“Pusni me vŭtre!” a gruff voice on the other side replied.
“I’m sorry. You’re going to have to speak English,” I answered. “Me no speak vampire.”
“Let me in,” said the voice. “You are in my house.”
Sofi handed a stake to me and took up her defensive stance again, much like she had the night before, and raised her stake like she was ready to throw it like a spear the second I opened the door. “Don’t stake him. Not right away,” I commanded. “First, let’s see if he’s of any use to us. He’s the only lead we have.”
I turned the handle and opened the door.
The man on the front porch stared at us coldly, then took a step forward to enter the farmhouse. Upon reaching the threshold, however, he screamed out as
if in immense pain and fell back onto the wooden boards of the deck with a thump. From his collapsed position, he reached toward Sofi and me and asked, “You help please?”
Sofi made a move to give him a hand, but I thrust my arm in front of her before she could make it through the doorway. “Vampire. Can’t come in unless we invite him,” I said.
After clambering to his feet, the man took another try at the door, and again collapsed in pain the second his body reached the threshold. “What have you done to me? This is my house! Let me in.”
“It’s under our jurisdiction now.” I ran my tongue across my teeth. Must have been sleeping with my mouth open. Everything inside felt dry and mossy, and I could only imagine how bad my breath must have smelled. “Means you can’t come in unless we invite you in.”
“But… but it is my house!” the man stammered and stamped his feet on the rickety floorboards.
“Sorry buddy, I hate to tell you this… but you’re a vampire. And we aren’t letting a vampire in here.”
“I am no vampire! I am a farmer, and you are in my home. Now leave before I find the police.”
I considered telling him to go out and find the police. See what good that did him when he showed up walking around town when he’d been buried a few days earlier. Maybe old Aleks had a few stakes of his own stored away in case his vampire dreams came knocking on his door someday. Would have saved me the trouble, that’s for sure. I wanted to get back to sleep. Problem was, I couldn’t. Not with this gift horse staring me right in the mouth. Middle of the night or not, this was our best chance to finally make up for the wasted day at the castle and hopefully stab a few more vampires while we were at it.
“I hate to tell you this, but you’re dead—died a few days ago. They buried you.” I gestured toward his filthy suit. “You wear that thing every day? While you’re out milking goats or whatever it is you do? I’m thinking that’s only for special occasions.”
Undead as a Doornail Page 16