by May Dawson
I shook my head. “Don’t worry about what I’m doing.”
“Why?”
Why did she care?
Nothing in those files was going to lead to a good day. If there was anyone who could tell me something about what happened to my sister, I was going to find them.
“Why’d you follow me?” I shot back. My lips grazed her ear accidentally, and she stiffened.
“I could sense you doing something stupid.” When she pulled back so she could look at me, there was a frown written across her pretty features.
“Pretty sure I’m sensing the same thing as you invite yourself along into trouble.”
She shook her head. “We’re a team. No one else is around to watch your back, so I guess I’ve got to do it.”
Jesus. She was so damn caring underneath all that sass. It made her vulnerable. She going to be torn apart in our world.
“You’ll just slow me down.” I’d said it before, and I said it again knowing those words would prickle on her skin. Those words would remind her what an asshole I was.
Her lips pressed together as she gazed into my face, as if she saw right through me.
“You’d be surprised,” she said.
Something in me lurched. She really wanted to do this with me? But why? Most of the time, shit between Maddie and me felt like a war.
Then there were moments between us that felt like friendship.
And there were moments that felt like something else, something hotter and darker and tinged with inevitability.
There was still that vulnerability in her gaze, even though she looked confident as ever. She was worried about me. Something painful twisted through my gut. I couldn’t meet her gaze anymore. I headed toward the door.
“You’re an idiot,” I told her. “Well, come on.”
Chapter Thirteen
Jensen
I sank cross-legged to the floor of my room. “You don’t need to do to this with me.”
“I know.” She picked up one of the files I’d drawn out of my backpack. “And you don’t deserve me. But here I am.”
An unexpected throb of relief ran through me. “You’re always so sweet and humble, Northsea. That’s my favorite thing about you.”
“Don’t get me started on my favorite things about you, Jen.” She lifted the first page from the file and began to read it carefully.
I set the photographs aside—every time I saw my sister’s slack face, my stomach tightened like I might puke—and put another folder on top of them for now. There were clues in there and I would face them, eventually. But not right now.
“What’s that?” I asked her as I sorted through the files, figuring out what we had.
So far, there were the initial investigation reports written by detectives from the Alpha council, there were some very confused police reports from human police who’d dealt with what was left of the wreckage at the docks, there were the crime scene photos, and there were my sister’s handwritten letters.
Eliza’s handwriting was hooked and jagged, never pretty. She’d never been one of those girls to make hearts over her I’s. Like me, she’d had a knack for getting into trouble, but she was a lot better at getting back out of it.
Well, until the day she died, anyway.
I set the letters aside as anger tightened my chest so hard I could barely breathe.
Maddie’s gaze scanned back and forth across the page. Right, I’d asked her a question; I’d almost forgotten as I stared at Eliza’s letters. Maddie was taking her sweet time answering, and a strong, powerful impulse to rip the paper out of her hands rippled through me.
I inhaled slowly, forcing my shoulders and fists to relax. At Eliza’s funeral, Dad and Will had been so calm and stoic that it had enraged me.
I’d wanted to punch my father as he spoke calmly, not a hint of emotion in his voice. When I couldn’t bear it anymore, I’d stalked out of the funeral, past shocked faces, to throw open the church doors and walk out into the sunshine.
I’ll never lose control like that again.
“It’s an interview with someone who survived the attack on the patrol,” she said slowly.
“There was a survivor?” My voice came out sharp. I held out my hand, and Maddie handed the papers over.
“There was a survivor,” she confirmed.
“They’re all supposed to be dead.”
Her wide blue eyes were worried, even sympathetic, and it made me want to say something cruel so she’d stop looking at me with pity. I bit my lip against the impulse and turned to the pages instead.
As I read the interview, it was the same shit I’d heard before. The official story that painted my sister as a coward was based on his testimony.
“Why did they cover up that he survived?” I asked.
“Maybe because he was a witness, and they thought someone would come after him...”
“Maybe because he was a liar.” My hands shook. Even the copy my father had was redacted with a black marker, blocking out identifying details. There was no name.
Maddie’s gaze swept over my hand, then back to the pile of files, but she’d seen my weakness. Restless energy swept through me, and I tossed the file to the ground before I stood abruptly.
“So, you know the story that everyone tells about her?” I wondered if she would deny it.
The memory of her and Ty and Silas sticking up for me bothered me. It didn’t make any damn sense.
She nodded, biting her lower lip as she picked up another file.
“Nice to know people haven’t forgotten Eliza,” I muttered sarcastically.
I didn’t talk about her with my dad, at all, really, but I tried to talk about her with Will sometimes. No one else seemed to remember the girl she actually was. No one remembered how brave and funny and kind she’d been every other day of her life.
The day she died was the only day that mattered.
I didn’t like the idea Maddie had heard the same old gossip about her.
Her bright blue eyes flickered up to meet mine. “You don’t think it’s true.”
“I don’t know. I wasn’t there.” I wanted to believe it wasn’t true. I couldn’t trust myself.
“Do you really think she made a mistake like that, then ran, then begged them not to shoot her? On her knees?” she demanded, pointing to the papers I still held with the witness testimony.
Was she really going to keep pushing this?
“I don’t know,” I repeated stubbornly, but even those words felt disloyal.
That didn’t sound like Eliza.
“Well, I don’t,” she said, folding her hands in her lap.
“You don’t? Just like that, you don’t?” I crossed my arms over my chest. The warring emotions flooding through me were so overwhelming that anger threatened to override them all, and I shook my head slowly, pushing it down even though it burned like bile. “Did you see a name in there? For the survivor?”
“No,” she said. “It’s all crossed out.”
“Then I’ll go to their packs,” I said. “I’ll see if I can figure out who didn’t stay dead.”
Eliza and her patrol had stayed at our house between missions a few times. I’d met all of the guys at one point or another. I’d been impressed by them—they were all such good fighters and so confident—but at the time, I’d been more focused on a normal high school life and playing basketball. At six-foot-four and a natural athlete, I’d been a big deal in my old high school.
Back then, I hadn’t wanted to go to the academy. Eliza and Will seemed to have the hero ground covered.
“Let’s go through the rest of the files,” she said. “Maybe we can come up with something… quicker.”
Smarter. She meant smarter. I itched to get out on the road now, to do something, but I nodded and sat down.
The two of us spent the next hour sorting through the files, talking through them, but we couldn’t find a name.
Carefully, she said, “We could get the rest of the team to
help. Especially if we’re going to visit multiple packs…”
“Nope.” Most of the kids in this school acted like I was a god, because I was good in the pits and knew how to turn a joke and had a knack for figuring people out.
But not Lex and Rafe; no matter what I did, they saw me as the asshole, as Will’s kid brother, and they always would. I didn’t need their help.
“Rafe is going to murder us,” she said.
“If he catches us.”
“I think your crusade is going to be hard to miss.”
I didn’t realize I was shaking my head until Maddie said, “We don’t need to tell Rafe and Lex. We could get the rest of the team on board. At least we’d have backup.”
“I don’t need backup.”
“Jen.”
She raked her fingers through her hair, and even though her face was exasperated, her fingers in her hair were sexy as fuck. I could run my fingers through that silky, shimmering blond hair. I could fist my hand in her hair and draw her head back so I could kiss her slender throat.
I broke off my own fantasies, as I mimicked the way she’d just said my name. “Northsea?”
She shot me a look that was probably supposed to be hostile, but just turned me on all over again, before she said, “I think if I’m following you into this shit storm, we can be on a first name basis.”
“I’m telling you that you don’t have to go.”
“I’m not going to let you leave with no one to watch your back. If you think someone lied, that means there’s something to cover up. Poking around is dangerous.”
“So, stay here. Stay safe.”
“I don’t care about being safe,” she said. “I’m just trying not to be stupid for once.”
She broke off, like she hadn’t meant to say that. Maybe I’d dug under her skin when I told her she was still the same person she was before Lex. She’d done stupid things since arriving at the academy, but I wasn’t exactly going to judge. I’d done plenty of stupid things myself over the past few years.
“Well, I’m going to be stupid. So, stay with me or be smart, your choice.”
“Rafe would really kill me if I let you get hurt alone out there,” she said. “I’d rather take the spanking from breaking restriction if we get caught.”
I grinned, and consternation flashed across her face. She shook her head, running her fingers through her hair like she was about to deny that slip meant something.
“Don’t worry,” I told her. “I’m sure he knows you get off on that whole sexy teacher vibe.”
No matter how much Rafe might keep her at a distance, I saw the way he looked at her in unguarded moments. And I saw the way he looked at Tyson, Silas, Chase and Penn when they slung their arms around her or hugged her or when she smiled at them.
I saw it, and I recognized that thread of hopeless jealousy. It was familiar enough.
“If we’re going to do this big stupid thing together,” she said, “do you think you could be less of an asshole for a while?”
“Sure,” I said, and surprise flickered through her blue eyes at my easy agreement. I loved the way she reacted when I teased her. But the genuine goodness that shone through her made me want to be a better man when it counted.
That didn’t stop me from adding, “But now I know you’re daydreaming about Rafe spanking your ass, I’m going to be daydreaming about it too.”
“Jen. You are so ridiculous.” She shook her head, her cheeks flushing pink and drawing my gaze to the delicate curve of her cheekbone. Fearless Maddie Northsea was blushing.
And no matter how bad shit was, when she blushed a sudden, strange lightness filled my chest.
I wasn’t sure which satisfied me more—making her smile or making her furious.
Chapter Fourteen
Maddie
Jensen wandered around my room while I packed a change of clothes and my toiletries in my backpack.
“Looking for something else to steal?” I asked, my voice coming out barbed. I glanced at my notebook, safely returned to my bookcase. He didn’t need it anymore anyway.
“I didn’t steal anything from you. I got your notebook back and gave it to you. You’re welcome.” Jensen’s tone was mild. He pulled open my desk drawer and gazed down into it, but there was nothing juicy in my desk. Just pens and sticky notes and a rose gold stapler.
“I had to coerce you.”
“Did you, though?” he asked me skeptically. “I would’ve given it back if you asked nicely.”
I pulled my fleece out of my closet and yanked it on. “I did ask.”
“You did not.” He folded the lid of my laptop down so he could see the outside. “No stickers on your laptop, even. Your room is completely devoid of personality.”
“So’s yours.”
“I’ve got enough personality myself to make up for it.”
Oh, there it was, another barb.
“I guess this place isn’t really home for either of us,” I said, ignoring him. I tossed the bag over my shoulder. “Let’s go.”
Instead, he launched himself onto my bed before pressing his hand against the wall. “Did you notice we share a wall? I could tap on the wall and…”
He smacked his palm against the wall.
“And ruin my sleep? Awesome. Thrilling news. Remember, I can do it to you too.”
“It wasn’t your sleep I was going to ruin.” He winked at me.
Oh, I was definitely not discussing my sex life with Jensen McCauley. The thought that he’d heard Penn and me was mortifying. “Are we going to go?”
“Be patient,” he chided. But he was already rolling off the bed. “We’ve got to escape campus without getting caught.”
“Is anyone going to notice we’re gone?”
He shook his head. “I was worried Lex was going to stay to protect his—” He cut himself off, and that surprised me. “But I guess Dani was able to pull him away. Now there’s no one to check up on us.”
“Great.” Of course, now that he’d mentioned Dani-and-Lex, there was a pit in my stomach. Whatever. I’d told Lex he had no claim on me and no right to worry about what I did. It was the same for me. We both had to move on.
Jensen shouldered his own bag, plus the leather backpack full of files. “Come on. We’re going to hoof it, and we have to use the spell that blocks our scent.”
“Where?” I demanded. I wasn’t just walking off into the night with Jensen.
“To my father’s house. We can take one of his cars.” He held his hand out to me. “And you know what that means.”
“Surely you can do the spell for me too…”
He flashed me a smile. “If you were a witch, you could do it yourself in a few minutes, right? But since I have to break out the scrying bowl and burn all those herbs and cut myself to lay the groundwork for the spell, we don’t have time. As long as we’re touching, your scent should be shielded too. Or you know, stay here. I don’t care.”
Anyone could do magic—at least, some magic—but it was easier for witches. It took a lot of extra steps for shifters and humans.
“You’re full of shit, Jensen.” I slapped my hand into his anyway.
His warm, lithe fingers tightened around mine. If he’d been a different man, and I’d been a different woman, in a completely different universe, his firm grip would have made me feel safe.
It was only as we headed hand-in-hand down the darkened corridor that I realized we didn’t even need the spell yet. We were supposed to be in this hallway. But whatever. It was too late to pull away.
It was a long walk through the forest east of the academy.
Jensen dropped the bags to the ground when we reached the wall. When I stared at the tall, warded stone wall that separated academy grounds from the woods, I had the strangest sense of déjà vu, like I’d forgotten something that happened here.
I’d been over this wall once before, to search the woods for the witch traps so I could save Jensen’s life. But it felt as if I’d been here othe
r times, too.
He jumped, his boot slamming into the wall as he propelled himself even higher, then caught the edge with his hands. It was an impossibly high jump, and for a second, the moon shone over his narrow lower back before he pulled himself up, his biceps straining. Then he pressed his belly on top of the wall. “Throw the bags to me.”
One by one, I tossed our bags up to him. He pushed them over the other side, then held his hand out to me. “Come on. Big jump.”
“You don’t have to sound so condescending.” I backed up, trying to convince myself I could make it. The wall was higher here than where I’d jumped it before. I didn’t want to fail in front of him.
“I’m not being condescending,” he said. “You’re small. Snack sized. It’s a fact, not an insult.”
“Snack sized?” I raised my eyebrows at him.
“Come on, Maddie.” He held his hand out to me impatiently. “As long as we aren’t touching, the guard might pick up your scent.”
I was on the verge of telling him I didn’t need his damn hand, but I wasn’t sure I could make it over. Swallowing my ego, I ran at the wall and leapt.
Jensen grabbed my forearm, his fingers wrapping tightly around me as I grabbed him too. My shoulder was wrenched painfully as I pushed my feet against the stone wall, but he easily pulled me up alongside him.
“Knew you could do it,” he said, sounding self-satisfied.
“Knew I could too,” I shot back.
“Your ego isn’t snack sized,” he teased.
He dangled his legs over the other side, then pushed off, landing easily in the grass. He held out his arms as if he’d catch me. Oh hell no.
“You’ve got to be kidding me.” I sat quickly on the edge of the wall, then pushed off and landed in a crouch beside him. “Also? I don’t think you should be scolding anyone about ego.”
He shrugged, already reaching out to grab my hand. He swung our hands between us as though we were out on a date as we picked our way through the moonlit woods.
Being out here reminded me of that bear, and a familiar sense of unease twisted through my gut. The bear might have seemed as though it had been looking out for me, but anything demonic was bad news. The demon couldn’t possess anything out in the woods since we’d destroyed the trap, but I wondered what it was doing now…