Chapter Fourteen
He was coming home. Jordan was expected to be home that very day. Doris was beside herself with anticipation. The only reason she even knew it was happening was because she had overheard her mother telling her father the night before in the front room. Of course, they didn’t know she was listening, or they never would have spoken about it. She hadn’t intended to eavesdrop, but when she was nearing the front room and she heard Jordan’s name, she’d hung back and listened.
Today. Today. Today. It was happening today.
Evidently, Jordan’s mother had let the information slip at the Feed & Supply the other day, and of course, Eliza Troyer had taken it from there. Not that it was a secret, necessarily. After all, when Jordan showed up, everyone was going to know.
Still. Doris held the news in her heart with a smile on her face. That morning, she’d taken extra care with her hair, smoothing it into a perfect bun at the nape of her neck. She wore a fresh kapp, and she made sure her dress was clean. She was certain that Jordan would be waiting for her that evening out by the road. He would never let his first day home go by without seeing her. She grinned with happiness.
And then she sobered. She’d better wipe the smile off her face, or her mother would know that she knew. And then her mother would watch her like an owl at night circling its prey. Doris was going to have to act calmly and normally all day long.
She could do it, too. She was certain.
And she did. Not one word or questioning look came from her mother the entire day. After supper that evening, after the kitchen was red up, Doris mentioned she was going to take a walk. This did cause a reaction in Henrietta. She’d spun around from the sink and stared at Doris.
But Doris often took walks, so in truth, this was nothing unusual. And Doris liked cold weather, so that too, shouldn’t cause a raised brow.
“Why don’t you take one of your sisters with you,” Henrietta suggested, and there was the slightest edge to her voice.
“Mamm, you know both my sisters hate the cold. Besides, I won’t be long.” Doris started toward the washroom.
“But it’s dark out.”
“I know. I won’t be long. You know how I like to take walks.”
And what could her mother say to that? It was true. The only way she could argue the point would be to admit Jordan was home, and Doris knew that her mother would keep that information secret as long as she could.
“All right then,” Henrietta reluctantly agreed. “But not long, you hear?”
“Not long,” Doris repeated and hurried into the washroom before her mother had a chance to come up with another protest.
Doris’s hands were shaking as she put on her woolen cape and scarf. She didn’t bother with an outer cover, her kapp was enough as it wasn’t snowing. She slipped into her heavy boots and went out the side door, not even noticing the assault of cold air on her skin.
Her mother would be watching from the kitchen window, and even though it was quite dark, Doris would never underestimate her mother’s eye. So, she walked sedately, as if her heart wasn’t pounding against her ribs and her breath wasn’t coming in short gasps. She continued across the yard until she knew the night covered her, and then she ran. She ran until she reached the road and then she stopped abruptly, looking around with wide eyes.
Where was he?
“Jordan?” she called softly. “Are you there?” A thread of panic wove through her.
And then she saw him. His tall dark shadow emerged from a stand of pine trees a few feet away.
“Ach! Jordan!” she cried, rushing to him. He opened his arms and caught her up in a huge embrace. She held onto him with all her might, and he buried his face in her neck.
“Doris,” he breathed into her skin. “Doris.”
Tears fell from her eyes as they continued to hold each other, and then he loosened his grip and held her at arm’s length. “Let me look at you.”
“It’s way too dark out here.”
He glanced up. “Nee. Not so bad. The moon is out.”
There was the rumble of a buggy approaching, and they both instinctively stepped into the depths of the pines. Doris giggled. “Who was it?”
The buggy was still passing. Jordan strained forward to see better. “I can’t tell.”
“Ach, it doesn’t matter.” Doris grabbed his hand. “You’re here, Jordan. You’re back home.”
“That I am,” he said, but she heard the hesitation in his voice.
“What is it?” she asked, trying to see him better in the shadows. “What’s wrong?”
“This ain’t going to be easy, you know.”
“What do you mean?”
“You know what I mean. Coming back here. Expecting people to accept me back.”
“But once they know the reason you did it…” She hurried to reassure him. “Once they know everything, it’ll be all right. You’ll see.”
“The reason I did it.” His words fell flat and fear gripped her.
“You said you’d tell me.”
“Uh, jah. I did say I would tell you.”
She leaned against his arm and felt his tenseness beneath his coat. “Can you tell me now, Jordan? Will you tell me now?”
“There’s nothing to tell.”
She jerked back and stared at him. “What do you mean?” Ach, but she wished there was more light. She so badly wanted to see his face.
“I had no reason. I didn’t think he would mind. The owner. Jessie. He’d loaned me the car before. I wanted to drive to Linder Creek that day. I was, well, I was going to buy something there. He wasn’t around, but we’re friends, or so I thought. Like I said, I figured he wouldn’t mind.”
Doris shook her head, trying to understand what he was saying. “But what in the world were you going to buy in Linder Creek that you couldn’t buy here?”
He didn’t answer, and she tugged on his arm.
“Jordan? What was so important to buy?”
He let out a heavy sigh then. “Peter Walls had told me about a clock shop there. They have grandfather clocks from Germany. I, well, I wanted one from there…”
His voice faded and suddenly Doris knew exactly why he wanted the clock. He wanted it for her—for their engagement. But why in the world did he want a ready-made one? Most fellows in the district made them or had them made right there in Hollybrook.
“Jordan…” she whispered.
“It don’t matter now, though, does it. I was a fool. Everyone in the district knows it, too. I was a fool. And beyond that, why did I decide to drive? The keys were there, you know. Right in the car like I knew they would be.” He took a breath and sighed. “I was ready to join church so we could be published, Doris. Why would I even consider driving an Englisch car? I think I lost my mind.”
Was that really all there was to it? His reasoning seemed thin to her somehow, but how could she doubt him?
She shook her head, sorrow engulfing her. In truth, she thought he must have lost his mind, too, like he said. But she could hardly say so. The fact that his reason for taking the car was to buy something for her was devastating. Oh, it wasn’t her fault; she knew that. But still. It bothered her and made her feel all the more badly for him.
“You were going to do something nice.”
“I was. But the wrong way.”
“The people will forgive you. You’ll see.”
He shrugged, his shoulders rising and dropping in the cold shadows. “Maybe.”
“They will. You’ll see.”
He grabbed her to him again, and she lay her face against his scratchy coat. It felt so good to be with him again, to be close to him, to be pressed up against him.
“I’ve missed you, Doris.”
“I’ve missed you, too.”
He took her hand and led her to the edge of the trees, where there was more light. He gazed down at her face.
“Do you forgive me?” he asked, his voice a whisper in the icy air.
“Jah. Of course, I do,” she said, te
ars stinging her eyes.
“Gut. Thank you.”
They stood there like that for the longest time. It was almost as if they were cushioned against the cold, cushioned against the harsh realities of what Jordan likely faced with the district. But Doris would stand beside him in whatever way she could. She would stand beside him and believe in him and be right there with him as the whole situation faded from the public eye.
For surely, it would fade. Something else would happen that would take the light off of Jordan. A birth. A death. An illness. A recovery. Life would go on in all its glory and messiness.
Just as her love for Jordan would go on. And his for her.
Yes. They would be all right.
“Christmas is coming,” she whispered.
He nodded. “That it is.”
“Everything is better then. Everything is softer and kinder at Christmas.”
He must have understood what she was implying—that the beauty of Christmas could erase many mistakes, even his. He nodded again, and he squeezed her hand, and they took a walk down the road. But not far—Doris needed to get back.
After all, she’d told her mother she wouldn’t be gone long.
The End
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“They’re going to vote on me in church on Sunday,” Jordan told Doris, breaking off a small branch of the young maple tree they stood under. A shower of snow fell over both of them as the tree shook in protest.
“Vote on you? What do you mean?” Doris Glick asked, fearing she already knew.
“You know what I mean. To decide my punishment.”
Doris clasped her cape more tightly around her neck, knowing it would come to this. Her beau had stolen a car and gone to prison—something she still grappled with. An Amish man in prison—her Amish man in prison? It was hardly believable, but it was true. Jordan had told her he was only out to drive to Linder Creek to buy her a present—an engagement present at that, a grandfather clock.
Even though he’d been remorseful when he’d explained it to her, it still didn’t make much sense. Why go to Linder Creek for a grandfather clock, when all the other fellows in Hollybrook either made one or bought one locally? And why the need to take a car—let alone drive a car? Despite the fact that Jordan hadn’t joined church yet, he wasn’t on his rumspringa. He could have and should have taken a bus.
Jordan freely admitted he’d made a stupid decision. But the fact that he’d made it at all bothered Doris more than she liked to admit. Yet, she had promised herself to remain loyal and faithful to him, and she was going to stand by her decision.
Besides, she loved him.
“But that’s gut, ain’t so?” she asked. “Get it over with. Then we can move forward with our plans.”
“Our plans?” he asked, gazing at her with shadowed eyes.
“Well … jah,” she murmured, wondering why he was looking at her with such doubt. Had she misread him? Weren’t they planning to go forward with their courtship?
“I assume you mean us getting married.”
His very tone made her curl back into herself. Why was he acting so strange about it? Wasn’t it understood between them?
“J-jah,” she stammered, hating the tremor in her voice.
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About the Author
I am blessed to live in part-time in Indiana, a state I share with many Amish communities, and part-time in Costa Rica. One of my favorite activities is exploring other cultures. My husband, Paul, and I have two grown children and five precious grandchildren. I love to hole up in our lake cabin and write. You’ll also often find me walking the shores by the sea. Happy Reading !
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