Alec snorts.
“Yeah. I really am, Gem. God, when I saw you go through the same thing, only worse this time…it ate at me. But I was afraid.”
“You didn’t want them to lump you in with me after they accepted you?”
He shrugs. “I promise to do better now. I’ll be a better brother.”
Hearing him say that warms my heart. I missed him. We had so many fun things only we shared, and when we moved here, they went away.
“Cool.” I offer him a smile. “You know how you can really make it up to me?”
“Strawberry milkshake and fries?”
“Yes. Large fries. Maybe two large fries.” I make grabby claw hands. “Gimme all the fries.”
Alec snorts and shoves at me. “Want to go tonight?”
“Sure.”
I roll from the bed to pull on a pair of jeans and find my jacket.
“You know, there’s a party tonight.” Alec gets up from the bed as I dig through my clothes. “The only way to show Saint you’re not a fragile thing he broke is to show up.”
“I don’t know, Alec. Parties and I still aren’t on speaking terms. I get all anxious in that kind of atmosphere.”
“But you can show them you don’t care about whatever they think of you. I’ve got your back.”
“I already don’t give a shit about them.”
“I know, but they all think they got one over on you. Are you going to let them keep you down?”
I mull that over as I fold and refold the sweater I pulled out. He wouldn’t expect me to show up to his party after I fought tooth and nail to avoid them.
“Okay. You’re right.”
Alec crows. “Nice. Meet me downstairs in twenty? I’ll check on Mom and Dad and send them to bed.”
“Deal.”
As he leaves, I lay out a different outfit. One the old me would totally wear. It’s going to be my armor tonight.
I am stronger than Lucas. Time to prove it to him.
Thirty
Lucas
A weird mood has its claws in me as I set up bottles of alcohol on my kitchen island for the party.
If I’m honest, it’s been a cloud hanging over me for days.
Gemma blocked my number when I tried to reach out again. I wanted to explain my side to her, but I don’t know if she saw it before I couldn’t get through to her anymore. I’ve taken to climbing the tree outside her window in the middle of the night to peer in on her in the faint glow of fairy lights strung over her bed.
It pisses me off that we apparently ended before we got started over another misunderstanding.
If she would just let me tell her the truth, this would all shake out differently.
Regret sits in my stomach like oil on top of water. I drew Gemma in the same way I drove her away.
There’s only myself to blame. I’m the one that sent the photo to Carter, well aware of the chance he’d crow about it at school. I guess part of me was nostalgic for the guy I used to know.
Maybe if I was a better person, I wouldn’t have done anything to hurt her. But I’m not a good person.
My thumb smooths the label over a bottle of whiskey that has a cool illustration.
I haven’t been able to draw for days and it scares me. I feel like I’m cornered and the only way out is football. I threw out my application for Oak Ridge College, finally opening the drawer where I hid it.
I’m only good for one thing. It’s time I accept that.
A knock sounds at the contemporary wall of glass panels on the deck. Carter stands there with a sheepish expression and what I assume is meant to be an I’m sorry six-pack. He’s such a dick.
“I didn’t invite you,” I say as a greeting when I open the door.
“C’mon man, really? I said I was sorry. I don’t know why you have your panties in a twist over some chick. But you do you, bro.”
Devlin comes up the steps behind him. I roll my eyes, turning my back on Carter. He takes the frosty reception as an invitation to come in. They both follow me. Carter puts the six-pack in the fridge.
“Dev, turn on music.” I want to get out of my own head.
He shoots me a finger gun and leaves me in the kitchen with Carter.
I crack open a beer and chug half of it. As soon as it hits my stomach, my body revolts. I keep it down—barely managing. Maybe I’m too stressed to drink. That doesn’t bode well for my plan to get wasted and numb. Bishop better bring the good weed tonight.
Carter hovers at the edge of my periphery. He needs to step back or I’ll lose it.
As other people arrive, I brush off Carter.
The party quickly gets underway, the music cranking and plumes of acrid cigarette, weed, and vape smoke curling into the air from my back deck.
For a while, I throw myself into cheering for a game of beer bong. When it doesn’t fill the hollowness in my stomach, I bum a cigarette from someone I’ve never spoken to and lean on the railing as I smoke.
Thunder rolls in the distance. Maybe it’ll hail. It was sunny this morning, but an approaching storm hangs heavy in the air.
It matches my mood. No matter how much I try to enjoy the party, it’s getting more difficult to be that guy.
I’m hanging with Devlin and Bishop when Carter lopes over to us. He’s drunk. I’ve lost the slight buzz I was working on and haven’t felt like another drink since the abandoned beer.
“Can’t keep me down!” Carter rants incoherently. “Didn’t want to miss out on the life of the party.”
I can feel Devlin and Bishop looking for my reaction. My jaw aches from gnashing my teeth.
“Maybe take the party over there,” Devlin suggests lightly. “Too much party in this corner. Not good for blood pressure.”
Carter sidesteps Bishop’s hand on his shoulder and the attempt to direct him away from me. Carter’s arm lands around my shoulders. He leans in my face with beer breath.
Bishop whistles low. “Dead man walking.”
“Lis’en. Lis’en.” Carter pokes my cheek, ignorant to the rising danger as my shoulders tense. “I only ask because we’re friends. Bros.”
“Yeah?” My tone is threatening. “I don’t know, you haven’t been a great bro recently.”
“No, no,” Carter goes on in complete drunken logic. “You finished with Gemma. So I can slide in now.”
All the nerve endings in my body jump for a fight at his words. Carter comes critically close to meeting my fist in his face. It takes every scrap of restraint I have not to cold-cock him.
The Homecoming game is soon. And the championship game next month. If I fuck with Carter now, I’ll still have to play nice with him and trust him to be my guard.
I exhale and walk away, only to halt in my tracks when Gemma and Alec walk through the door.
I go lightheaded for a minute. The room spins as the axis rights itself. She’s here and she looks sinfully hot.
Gemma’s wearing black leather pants and a slinky gold top with slits at the shoulders. Her hair frames her face. She has a confident expression as she stares down everyone who looks her way. Including me.
She’s a walking temptation.
My mind goes blank except for a single blaring thought: I screwed up.
Thirty-One
Gemma
My bravado lasts five whole minutes once we arrive at the party.
What the hell am I doing?
People look me up and down, judgement plain as day in their eyes. I’m not welcome here. I feel it in the air as Alec nudges me in the house.
I battle against regret and the discomfort of being surrounded by loud music and flowing booze as people enjoy themselves with abandon.
Marissa shoots daggers at me from across the room, where she and Carter stand. She speaks in Carter’s ear and a dopey grin crosses his face as he bobs his head in agreement. I feel sorry for her. The drama she thrives on in high school will leave her ill-prepared for real life when we graduate.
Alec leans in to be hear
d over the music. “You’re strong, Gem. Show them all.”
He pats me on the back and the regret slides away.
That’s right. I came here to prove a point. I give him a firm nod.
I allow Alec to pull me in with the other dancers and after a few songs I get into wiping the floor with better dance moves than him. We laugh at his go-to move.
Elena joins us, wildly cheering, “Turner twins!”
“Hey, Elena!” Alec has a secret handshake with her. “Show us what you’ve got.”
The three of us dance in a lopsided circle. Having a good time with them helps chase away the lingering effects of the party atmosphere on my psyche, holding the bad memories at bay as I make new ones.
A few brave guys approach, but Alec has my back. He stares them down and shoos them away when they try to dance up on me. I let go, focusing on enjoying myself. The music flows through me, lifting my spirits.
The only person at the party that hasn’t directly acknowledged my presence after an hour is Lucas. But I can feel the weight of his gaze on me, trailing me every time I walk through the room.
He had his chance.
Take a good look, I tell him in my head. This is my big fuck you to you.
I take a break from dancing when I’m dying of thirst. I hesitate at the edge of the kitchen, where other students are heavy on their pouring with the alcohol on the island.
“Want one?” The guy brandishes a bottle of rum. “I make the best rum and cokes.”
I shake my head. Slipping around the guy that offered me a drink, I dig through the fridge for a water bottle. There aren’t any left. Lucas must have put them in one of the coolers I saw on the deck.
Sighing, I spin around. Lucas catches my attention. Marissa stands near him, looking like the cat with the cream. He’s not talking to her, though. He seems lost in thought, an unhappy tilt to his mouth.
I decide to go back to find Alec and Elena, weaving through the people crowding to get into the kitchen. The party is packed.
Elena isn’t where I last saw her. Neither is Alec. I frown and search for them. I think that’s her out on the deck, talking to the football player she’s always with. I grab a random person who’s been dancing since we got there.
“Hey, have you seen Alec?”
The dude shrugs. “He said he had to take a piss.”
“Thanks.”
Without Alec and Elena distracting me, I feel on display. I take a post in the corner to people watch.
“Hey,” Devlin says, propping on the wall next to me.
“What’s up?”
“You seemed lonely.”
He scans the room, grinning when his friend Connor does a handstand on the other side.
“Lucas didn’t send you over here, did he?”
Devlin flicks a glance at me. “What if he did?”
“Tell him to go fuck himself. Ugh!” I grit my teeth and spin away. “He’s too chickenshit to talk to me himself? Whatever. I don’t even want to see him.”
I start to leave, but pause when Devlin speaks again.
“Is that why you came here?”
“I came because it’s a party. Half the school’s here.”
Devlin hums. “That’s boring.”
I blink, taken aback. “Well, I’m so sorry my entertainment factor dropped. I’ll get right on that.”
Brimming with annoyance, I stomp away. I need to take the edge off.
I stand back at the island staring down a bottle of vodka. My head fights my heart. I want to have a drink, but I can’t make myself pour the shot. I wish Alec would come back. I’m ready to leave. I’ve been at the party long enough to prove my point.
A rough set of hands settle on my waist as a hard body pins me from behind. The rancid beer breath hits me before I turn my head.
“Hey, pretty,” Carter slurs against my ear, his lips wet.
My skin crawls as I struggle to slide away. “Get off.”
Carter either doesn’t hear me or doesn’t care. This is worse than the last couple of times he’s tried to get with me like he has a free pass. His hands roam, palming my breasts. Anyone can see this happening.
“Get off,” I spit. I’m trapped against the counter by his size and weight. My heartbeat thrums with a jitter. “Carter, stop!”
“You were easy for Saint. It’s my turn to take you for a spin.”
Is he drunk? There’s a lethargic incoordination to his motions. Carter presses open-mouthed kisses to my neck that send disgust ricocheting through me.
He keeps mumbling against my skin. “He won the pot. I figure you owe me a turn. Been panting for my cock since school started. Know you want it.”
I struggle against him when he grabs me, lifting me clear off the ground like some sick bridal ritual.
“No!”
Desperation sets in as I frantically search for my brother, for anyone, for Lucas to stop this.
No one pays attention to my obvious protests. Everyone’s drunk and high, happy, having a good time with their friends and loud music. The only people around are the same lesser assholes on the outer fringes of the popular circle. The ones who bullied me at a snap of Lucas’ fingers.
“Saddle up,” someone says with a vicious laugh.
“Better wrap your dick up, Big C. You don’t know where she’s been.”
How can I simultaneously be the school prude and the school bicycle? Yeah, you’ve got me there.
They don’t see this for what it is. I’m obviously not consenting to jack shit here. But no, they slap Carter on the back for a good hunt, like I’m the prize he’s won.
My teeth grind and my eyes lock with Lucas’. I open my mouth to call out for him, but the way his face contorts in anger makes me pause long enough for Carter to kiss me.
His mouth tastes sour when he forces his tongue past my lips.
I turn my head away from it with a broken cry. When he chases me for more, I bite him.
Carter manhandles me to a downstairs guest room. “You’re mine tonight, sweetness.”
The door closes behind us. I yell, kick, and flail. Carter is stronger than Lucas, his bigger muscles making it easy to hold me prisoner.
“Carter, let me fucking go!”
“Not a chance.”
He tosses me onto the bed and drags me to the edge by a tight grasp on my ankle. I claw at the covers, pulling half of the bedding with me.
How could Lucas look at me like he was the one who was furious? How could he abandon me to his horrible friend?
“Alec!” I scream at the top of my lungs. “Help!”
“No one’s coming, baby.” Carter grabs my ass and I squirm to get away. “Be quiet. They can’t hear you over the music. I want you to save those screams for when I split you open with my cock.”
The panic taking over my body sears me from the inside out as I thrash.
“Someone! Please!”
Carter’s right. No one is coming to save me. I have to save myself.
Thirty-Two
Lucas
Ignoring Gemma for more than two seconds is an impossible feat. One I haven’t accomplished all night.
My gaze keeps cutting back to her.
She looked good dancing, her arms overhead as EDM music pumped through the speakers. She came alive, shedding the guard she uses to keep everyone ten feet back at all times.
An invisible hook tugs at me, luring me to approach her.
At first I had half a mind to throw her out. But now that she’s here and smiling, I want to rush up to her and hold her close. I want to spill my guts to her so she might look at me like that.
Watching as guys tried to move in on her burned like acid, sizzling and popping in my gut. My hands are getting sore from clenching my fists. Crescent shapes indent my palms from my blunt nails.
When she’s out of my sight for a bit, I can’t ignore the niggling at my instincts to find her.
I take a step away from my post in the corner, finally working up the balls
to talk to her.
Marissa slides in front of me, blocking my path.
“What?” I spit.
I still haven’t forgiven her for her petty Instagram post. As if I’d roll over and shove my dick back in her poisonous mouth because she posted it on social media? Fucking stupid.
She levels a cool look at me, stance full of attitude.
“Where are you off to? Aren’t you having a good time?” She puts her hands on my chest. “We should go upstairs. I’ll make you feel better.”
I grab her upper arms in a too tight hold that makes her wince.
“What could possibly make you believe,” I grit through my teeth, “I would be interested? How many times do I have to tell you I’m done?”
I release her with a shove. She stumbles back a step and rubs her arms. Her lip juts out petulantly. It works to get guys to do what she wants, but she can’t control me like that anymore.
“If you don’t get out of my face, Marissa, I’m making you leave the party.”
“Just listen,” she snaps. Her mouth curls into a cruel curve as she examines her nails. “I thought you’d need a shoulder to cry on. I saw your little Gemma yesterday in school. You might be hung up on her, but she’s got it bad for Carter. She was going on and on about how much she wants to fu—”
My hand moves in a flash, wrapping around Marissa’s throat. She cuts off with shock in her wide eyes.
“Jesus. You’re pathetic,” Marissa hisses, flattening her brows.
“Not as pathetic as you. I’m not believing your shit. You’re being catty because you didn’t get your way.” I bring my face close to hers, growling, “Gemma isn’t like you. She doesn’t manipulate people.”
Marissa’s gaze flicks to the side. “Oh yeah? So what’s that about?”
I let her go, turning in the direction indicated. Carter has Gemma in his arms.
A red haze slams over my vision, blood surging with a fiery rage at the sight of him kissing her neck. Her hands are on his chest, body arched.
No fucking way.
There’s no way Gemma fooled me.
Wicked Saint: Sinners and Saints Book 1 Page 21