“Um …” I started when he said no more and also didn’t move. “Why are you irate with me?”
“Because I saw that first dance. And the second one. Also the last. And Axl Pantera saw that first dance. And the second one. Also the last. I also saw the man nearly come out of his skin, beating back the need to charge you on the dance floor, carry you to his Jeep, take you to his house, and tie you down until you swore you’d never leave him, and here I am.” He extended an arm out to indicate my place while I fought to catch my breath after what he said. “Alone in your house with you, after you visited that waste of a space you call a dad. And where is Pantera?”
He leaned toward me.
I didn’t move.
“Not here.”
“Uh …he has a girlfriend,” I shared, deciding to get into that and not the information he knew I’d just come from my father’s, which freaked me out.
“He’s seein’ a woman. There’s a big difference.”
“I’m not sure after all this time she’d define it as that.”
“All this time … what? A few weeks?”
“More like a few months.”
He shook his head. “You women have way too many scruples.”
Yup.
Nefarious.
I took a chance and stepped another step into the room because I was less afraid of doing that than taking one the other way.
“Can I ask …I mean, no offense, truly, but it’s a little weird … so can I ask why you’re here talking to me about this?”
“Because you’re my girl and I gotta whip you women into shape.”
Erm.
What?
“I’m your girl?” I whispered.
His brows shot up. “Didn’t Ryn tell you?”
“Uh—”
“Yeah, you’re avoiding your friends. What is up with that?”
Okay.
Now, how did he know that?
“How much do you know about me?” I queried.
And, yup.
Still whispering.
“I look after what’s mine.”
“I’m not really yours.”
“Well, see, this is how it goes.”
He stopped talking, took his feet from my beanbag and stood.
I went completely still.
He crossed his arms on his chest.
And call me crazy (which on my next thought, I apparently was), but in my opinion, he was kind of cute.
In a bizarre, bad-guy kind of way.
And if indications were correct under that finely tailored suit, he had a great body.
Not to mention, he was tall.
“I kidnapped you,” he reminded me.
“Yes, I remember,” I told him.
“And I still assert that was Evie’s brother’s sitch. I mean, he was the one who swung you girls out there. I was just reacting to his bullshit.”
I could argue that.
I didn’t.
“But regardless,” he shrugged, “I did what I did which really swung you girls out there so it’s up to me to look after you.”
This did not track.
Even a little bit.
“Uh …” was all I could get out to refute his statement.
Cisco didn’t need me to speak.
He had more to say.
“And there’s four of you, only one of me. Which means I need some assistance. Now Evan has that Mag guy. And my girl Ryn got her Boone. But still, the last two of you need to get the lead out. I work hard. I got some cake. But I can’t be payin’ guys to keep an eye on you girls forever. You need men in your beds.”
It sounded strangled when I asked, “Am I in danger?”
“Is the sky blue? Is the earth round?” he asked questions I did not want to hear after I asked if I was in danger. “You’re a woman. It’s a crapshoot you just walkin’ to your car out back. Hell, just bein’ in this sweet, hip pad by yourself. If Pantera was here, some guy broke in to do you harm, he’d shoot him in the face.”
Considering Axl was a commando as a profession, this was probably not far off the mark.
“For sure he’d scrape off that waste-of-space dad of yours,” he continued.
My back went straight at that.
“You’re talking about my father,” I told him.
“Girl, Evie told me he was abusive. She said straight-out you had violence in your life when she was talkin’ about your dad. And Ryn told me you checked out on all of them because he got in your head and you couldn’t even dance all on your own and enjoy it without self-abusin’ when you thought you’d fucked up. I mean, when that’s the case, why do you go make dinner for this asshole every night?”
Boy, Evie and Ryn had talked a lot to this guy.
And that was the embarrassing thing that happened that made me retreat from my friends. I’d been dancing. I’d been loving it. I’d messed up. And I’d lost it …on myself.
This was embarrassing because Ryn had seen that, and I figured she’d told Pepper, Lottie and Evie about it.
Not to mention (and this wasn’t embarrassing, it was mortifying), Axl had seen it too.
“He’s my dad.”
“Yeah, and Ivan the Terrible was a dad, and look how that turned out for his kid.”
Now I was more confused.
Ivan the Terrible?
“What?” I asked.
“The dude beat the shit out of his daughter-in-law because he didn’t like what she was wearin’. His son tried to intervene. Ol’ pops cracked him on the head, killing him. And the woman was pregnant, so she miscarried. That’s quite an afternoon for Ivan.”
Okay, I had to take a sec because …
How had something that had started strange, gotten so much more strange?
“My dad isn’t Ivan the Terrible,” I pointed out.
“Only ’cause he’s not a tsar. If he had carte blanche, where would you be?”
This was a chilling question.
“We’ll let that go …for now,” he allowed. “We’ll let Pantera go for now too. You had dinner?”
“I was actually going to fast tonight,” I told him, and not because it seemed he might ask me to dinner, but because I was going to fast that night.
His head ticked sharply. “Why?”
“Why?” I parroted, since he was looking right at me.
“Your fuckin’ dad,” he bit out, his tone suddenly alarming.
Right, this had to stop.
“Mr. uh …”
“Brett,” he spat. “And tell me, you see the women at Smithie’s?”
“Pardon?”
“Women go there. A lot. And not just since Ian switched shit up. Also not only lesbians gettin’ their groove on. All kinds of women go there to party and to watch.”
I nodded. “It’s a thing. Women have embraced strip clubs.”
And this was true, though I didn’t get it. Maybe female camaraderie. Maybe they thought it was edgy and cool. Whatever it was, we had nearly as many bachelorette parties as we did bachelor ones.
“So what do you think it says, they see a woman with a healthy body flyin’ through the air five feet off the ground, the back of her head nearly touching the heel of her foot?”
I again went still.
He answered his own question.
“It says they can stop eating that bullshit people been feeding them. They can be in shape and do magnificent things and they don’t gotta be ninety pounds to do them. So, I’ll repeat, you had dinner?”
“No,” I answered.
He nodded. “We’re goin’ out.”
“Brett—”
“Hattie, listen to me,” he cut me off, his tone again different. This time gentle, coaxing. “You don’t get this, you never had experience with this, and I’m seeing it’s my place to show you the way. All men are not created equal. There are men who give a shit. Ryn tells me you’re set for Pantera. I can’t go there. And just sayin’, that ass, those curls,” he tipped his head to me, “you’re cute. Nor
mally, I’d be all over that. But Ryn says it’s gotta be Pantera. So this is not that. We’re lettin’ that go. We’re lettin’ your dad go. You’re lettin’ the fast go. And I’m gonna take you to dinner and you’re gonna be around a man who doesn’t treat you like shit. Start you gettin’ used to that. We’ll go from there. Yeah?”
I didn’t know what it was.
I didn’t know why I did it.
But I didn’t hesitate to say, “Yeah.”
He smiled at me, and that decided it.
He was definitely cute.
I walked his way and he escorted me out of my own place like it was his.
The henchman was out there, folding out of the sleek Lincoln town car at the curb in order to open the back door for us.
We got in, and after Brett settled next to me, he declared, “I feel like a steak. Do you feel like a steak?”
“Who doesn’t feel like eating a steak?” I asked.
“Atta girl,” he muttered.
His driver glided from the curb.
And call me crazy (and I’d be the first person to do that), but when we did, I thought for the first time in a long time that things were looking up.
“At dinner, we’ll talk about you wastin’ your time in that studio. And we’ll talk you into spendin’ time that you don’t waste in that studio. Got a coupla folks I know who own galleries. Your shit is good. Time to stop fuckin’ around with that and let the world know you got talent.”
My lungs seized.
Brett called out to the driver. “Call ahead. We’re not waiting for a table.”
Okay, maybe I was wrong about things looking up.
But for the life of me, even after what he’d just said about my studio and knowing people who own galleries, I felt I was right.
CHAPTER TWO
I Blew It
HATTIE
Sitting in my Nissan Rogue outside the studio the next morning, I again scrolled through my texts from last night.
Lottie:
Where are you?
Pepper:
Are you coming?
Ryn:
Girl. You are missing out!
Elvira’s boards are EVERYTHING!
Evie:
OK. Now you’re worrying me.
Strike that, you’ve been worrying
me. Now you’re SERIOUSLY
worrying me.
My reply, copied and pasted to each of them:
Something came up! I’m SO
sorry! I hate to miss it!
Have SO MUCH fun!
xo♥♥♥
I knew I needed to give it a minute (or a hundred hours of professionally directed time while sitting on someone’s couch) to try and figure out why I was so terrified of spending time with them again after what Axl and Ryn saw when I was dancing.
I had just, until then, refused to give it that minute.
But sitting in my burgundy Rogue, giving it that minute, I realized it wasn’t just because it was embarrassing.
It was because it was weak.
See, Lottie had it together. She totally knew who she was and she made no apologies (not that there were any to be made, she was awesome, still, she was a stripper, and before that she’d been Queen of the Corvette Calendar, and by my estimation, 99.9 percent of the population was judgy, so they’d think she had apologies to make).
She loved stripping, made a ton of money doing it and was at one with her looks and her body. She also had a great house she’d pulled together herself, as well as the love and devotion of Mo, who might look terrifying in a could-be-one-of-Brett’s-henchmen type of way, but he was a softie.
And Evie was a genius. Like, certifiable. I’d seen her do mathematics on the fly in her head that I’d probably mess up on a calculator. Her family was way more messed up than my dad. But she’d scraped them off and moved on, going back to college to get her degree, fixing computers, living with, looking for a new house to share and now engaged to Mag, who was a super-cool dude and insanely into her.
Then there was Ryn, who had it just as together as Lottie. She was gorgeous and sexy and sweet and strong with a fantastic fashion sense and she’d just sold her first flip, a house she’d worked on herself. Now she and Boone were in the midst of waiting to close on their second because that was what Ryn wanted to do full time. Flip houses. And with Ryn as she was, I knew that would happen.
Last, there was Pepper, who had a daughter, Juno. And Pepper was the best mom in the world with Juno being the best kid ever, even if Pepper had zero support from her family and her ex was a total tool. Motherhood seemed effortless to her. No one messed with her or her kid, not even her family …or her tool of an ex.
Then there was me.
And I was none of that.
But seriously, it was embarrassing, dancing free and breezy by myself in a room then screwing it up and losing it the way I did. Doing all this not knowing Ryn and Axl were watching.
No, not embarrassing.
Mortifying.
I mean, on the whole I was shy around good-looking guys.
Very few weren’t.
But the one who saw me do that? The one Lottie had picked for me, tried to set us up, he’d asked me out, and I’d wanted to go, but I refused? That one saw me do it?
Forget about it.
And now …
I didn’t know.
They were good people. Good friends.
We’d been kidnapped together!
But what did I say?
When they were so together and didn’t let anyone shit on them, how did I explain why I continued to take care of my dad?
Especially when they knew it was him. They knew it was my dad who was the reason Ryn and Axl saw me self-harm.
And how did I share what I’d never shared? That I rented studio space, and worked on pieces, but never even attempted to show one, much less sell one?
Bottom line, how did I tell four totally together women who had been in my life for a good while, who all counted me as friend, that I had not let them into my life hardly at all?
Do unto others, right?
And I thought, if I cared about someone, gave them my time, and they didn’t let me in, how would I feel?
Not good.
Of course, I could just let them in.
But the longer I left it, the harder that became.
And now …was now.
I’d blown off Lottie’s pre-bachelorette party to go out to dinner with a (probable) felon.
And none of them had texted again after my text.
I wasn’t sure I could come back from that.
The only thing I was sure of was that, right then, I was going to head into my studio. I hadn’t been there in at least a week.
And maybe, what it used to be able to do—give me focus, calm, and an outlet to express things I didn’t even admit to myself—it would do again.
Not to mention, Brett had told me last night over steaks that he’d had a look (breaking in to do so, and how I didn’t feel disturbed and invaded by that, I had no idea) and he thought my stuff was “the shit.”
“Want that piece in my living room. The girl folded in on herself,” he’d said. “Think about how much you’ll charge. I’ll get you the cash and arrange to have it moved.”
He’d actually said that.
And the girl folded in on herself, a piece I called “After,” made of concrete and rusted iron with some copper wire and carefully selected bits of stone, was one of the favorite things I’d done so far.
I didn’t want to sell it.
It was me.
But if someone wanted to buy it …
On this thought, I got out of my car, went to the door of my studio, unlocked and opened it, walked in, and for the second time in less than twenty-four hours, stopped dead.
Because Axl Pantera was standing right next to “After.”
Right next to “After.”
In my studio.
Where I expressed …
Everythi
ng.
My heart lodged in my throat.
He was tall.
Beautiful body (and I meant beautiful, so beautiful I wanted to form it from concrete and shiny steel so it could live forever).
A thick head of spiky silver hair atop fabulous features—strong nose, square jaw, gorgeous full lips and the most remarkable ice-blue eyes I’d ever seen.
Truth be told, he wasn’t handsome in a classical sense.
He was more rough, though I’d prefer to call it roguish. With a high forehead, heavy dark brows, hooded eyes that were quite deep set and downturned at the ends which gave him a look like he was always alert, always assessing, didn’t miss a trick.
I had no idea where he got that silver hair. He couldn’t be much older than me.
But he worked it.
“How did you—?” I started to ask how he knew about my studio.
“Stood them up,” he stated. “Again.”
What?
“Pardon?” I asked.
“Lottie’s big thing. Gearing up. That was last night. Shower is coming up. Bachelorette party after that. Next day, wedding. And last night you’re … what? Kissin’ your dad’s ass?”
And for the second time in less than twenty-four hours, I found my body stunned still.
This time it was to fight the pain.
“Told myself to have patience,” he continued. “This shit isn’t easy. I know. My dad didn’t hide the fact he wasn’t all that thrilled with the way I turned out either.”
Uh …
What?
He was …
Well, Axl was …
Perfect.
How could his dad not be thrilled with how he’d turned out?
“You, it was dance. Me, track and field. Dad was a track star. Sprinter. Long jump. I was the same, but better. A lot better. Didn’t make the Olympics, though, and you would have thought me not doing that when the vast majority of athletes can’t, I was patient zero with the coronavirus.”
“I—”
“And I still see him. He’s my dad. Now he thinks I’m an idiot to quit school to go into the service. I wasn’t a gold medal winner with millions in endorsements, he wanted me to be what he became. An attorney. Work at his firm. He’s in the thick of it. He gets off on it. He doesn’t see or tries to ignore or just enjoys the fact the prosecutorial system in this country is fucked to the point it’s a joke. The penal system is the same. And I don’t find justice a game where you rack up wins and losses on your personal score sheet and that proves how big your dick is when sitting next to you is a person whose life is at stake. He does not appreciate my opinion on these subjects, but he’s a scrapper. His description of himself. So he brings it up all the fuckin’ time. Just to get a rise out of me. I try not to take the bait, but he won’t let it go until I either walk out or double down.”
Dream Spinner (Dream Team Book 3) Page 2