“Fasting?” Ryn asked quietly.
I heard her.
But I kept going because I had to get it all out.
And it was now or never. Because further delays might mean I couldn’t sort the damage.
Since I decided it was now, I had to get it all out now.
“Then Brett took me out to dinner, and we made friends and then the next day Axl shows and he gets in my face …”
“What?” Lottie demanded.
I also heard that, but I kept on my bent.
“And he was right in what he said, but he wasn’t nice in how he said it. Then I got the phone call where the guy threatened to tie me up and whip me.”
“What?”
That came from all three of them.
I still persevered with what I had to tell them, but that time, it was because I’d be answering them.
“So I made the fateful decision to call Brett because it wasn’t that bad, just an obscene phone call. But, you know, shit happens.”
“Shit does happen,” Pepper muttered.
I looked to Ryn. “So that’s why Brett is picking me up at night. And he’s spending the night with me, sleeping on my couch, because he doesn’t want to take any chances. Which is good. But also bad, seeing as he was there this morning with me, having coffee on my deck, but he’d gone inside to figure out breakfast when Axl showed to apologize for getting in my face and then we started kissing.”
“Ohmigod,” Ryn breathed.
“Right on,” Pepper said.
“Then Brett broke it up because my caller is more of a stalker and he’d opened my mail and found the guy had sent me some hard-core BDSM stuff with some threats and …and …uh …”
I trailed off because none of them were looking at me anymore.
They were all looking beyond me.
I’d know why even before I turned because Sylvester greeted, “Yo, Ian.”
And Dorian, who, after I turned, I saw was standing behind me, replied, “Yo, Sly.”
But he did this scowling at me.
Another full confession: in the beginning, I had serious problems with Dorian mostly because he was utterly gorgeous. The most beautiful Black man I’d ever seen. And I know some might have an issue that I included the modifier of “Black” in that, but before I saw Axl, he was just the most beautiful man I’d ever seen.
Then I saw Axl.
So Dorian’s title had to change, slightly.
And because he was so handsome, I was shy and awkward around him.
This, even if he was incredibly nice and he could be funny when he wasn’t being serious (which was a lot, but he ran a strip club with his uncle, it wasn’t just staff who could get out of hand, it was patrons, so serious was a good quality to have).
But he sensed I was shy, so he put in the work to make himself approachable to me, make me understand he wasn’t just my boss, he was a friend and he cared about me, and now I liked him a whole lot.
It was on this thought I realized everyone around me put in a lot of work.
And me?
Well …
Hell.
“Hey, Ian,” I greeted.
“You got a stalker?” Ian did not greet back.
“Dude,” Sylvester said, and Ian and I looked to him. “Cisco showed me the pics this asshole sent. Now, I could do me a sweet piece in some handcuffs or creative use of silk scarves, but this shit was extreme.”
Ian stared hard at Sylvester.
Then he dropped his head and looked at his shoes.
In order to give Ian some time, I turned to Sylvester and mouthed, “Sly?”
He shrugged.
I turned back to Ian who was still contemplating his shoes.
He then put his hand on the back of his neck, rubbed it up over his hair and then dropped it to his side, saying, “My mother told me, do not get involved in the club. Those girls will be the death of you.” He lifted his head and speared me with his eyes. “She was right.”
“I’m not stalking me,” I pointed out.
“I know you’re not,” he clipped. “But you show with a bodyguard and don’t come direct to me when you got a problem?”
Hmm.
He had a point.
“You’ve kinda had your fair share of problems,” I said.
It was lame, but it wasn’t untrue.
“That’s life, Hatz. You have problems. You deal. You move on. You don’t know you got a problem, you can’t deal, and that problem becomes a bigger problem.”
Before I could agree to his wisdom, and apologize for messing up, Dorian looked to Sylvester.
“You on her all day?” he asked.
“Until Cisco pulls me, and he did not communicate he intended to pull me, so maybe,” Sylvester answered.
“You do not go into the dancers’ dressing room. Outside only. I’ll brief security. If you’re still here tonight, when Hattie is onstage, I want all eyes on the crowd. I’ll give you, or whoever relieves you, a headset so you can communicate with the team. But before, I’ll introduce the team to you so they know you’re point on Hattie. You down?”
“I’m down,” Sylvester replied.
Ian looked to me. “Right now it’s a call and pictures?”
I nodded.
“To your cell phone and sent to your house?” he went on.
I nodded again.
Dorian’s visible unhappiness got visibly unhappier.
“And Cisco knows this?” he pressed.
More nodding.
“What about Pantera?”
“Uh, he knows it too.”
“I’ll call them,” he muttered, beginning to move away.
“Wait!” I cried.
He turned back to me.
“Axl and Hawk and all of them aren’t officially on this, hence Sylvester,” I shared, throwing a hand Sylvester’s way.
Ian’s eyes moved to Sylvester then back to me as behind me I heard Ryn say, “Sorry?” Lottie say, “Say what?” and Pepper say, “Oh man.”
I turned to face them. “Axl found out I called Brett before him and he was kinda mad.”
This time it was Pepper looking at her feet.
Ryn was smiling.
Lottie hitched a hip, put her hand to it and glared at me.
“I know!” I said to Lottie. “I blew it! I’m going to fix it. Promise.”
Though I shouldn’t promise.
Axl still had not texted me so I had no idea how to go about fixing it.
Though I knew I had to try.
“Hattie, attention to me,” Ian demanded.
I whirled back to him.
“How bad did you blow it? Meaning, is this going to delay Delgado and his boys wading in by half an hour or half a day?” he asked.
There was low laughter behind me when I said, “Probably half an hour, seeing as Brett is going to rope them in. But I suspect, even if Axl probably hadn’t calmed down, he was on the phone to the office while he drove away from my house.”
Ian nodded curtly, said, “God forbid there’s a next time … ” and when I nodded that I got his message, he strolled away.
I took in a big breath, turned again, and looked right at Lottie.
“I hate it I missed the kickoff to the wedding festivities. I hate it. And I’m so sorry I hurt your feelings when I didn’t show.”
She hesitated not one second before she came to me and pulled me in her arms.
She kissed the side of my head and then said in my ear, “You don’t have to let us in, but you do have to let us know. You need space, we can give that to you. You need to talk, we’re there for you. You need someone to listen, you got ears who will be happy to hear. Just don’t pull away. Because we love you and we want to be there for you, however you need that to be.”
Oh no.
I was going to cry.
Oh no!
I was crying.
Holding on to her and not crying.
Sobbing.
I wasn’t really a crier. I could
get teary, but I’d learned to get a lock on it real quick, because Dad hated crying.
But all that had gone on …all that was going on was a lot.
So I was crying.
Then Ryn and Pepper pushed in, held on, and I started crying more.
When I semi got a handle on it, I pulled a little bit away, looked to Lottie and vowed, “I’m not going to miss your shower or your bachelorette party or your wedding.”
“I hope not, seeing as you’re a bridesmaid,” she said.
“I have a fitting to get to,” I mumbled.
“No shit?” she asked.
“I’ll schedule that this week,” I promised.
“Babe, listen to me,” she said, not letting me or the other girls go.
And standing in this huddle with my friends, I listened to her.
“You had big shit happening in your head and you dealt with it how you knew how. You didn’t fuck up. Not with me. You did what you had to do to protect yourself. Now that I know what’s going on, I’m not hurt. I get it. I sort of got it before. So don’t be down on yourself. It is what it is and now it’s something different. And if a friend is any friend at all, they’ll get what it is, and be by your side when you move on to something different.”
The tears started welling; I even felt my lip tremble.
“Oh shit, she’s gonna blow again,” Ryn muttered.
“No, I can get a lock on it,” I said shakily.
“Cry, who cares?” Pepper asked.
“I care, I have to rehearse and you’re already rehearsing. We have jobs to do,” I told her.
“ ‘What a Feeling’ is tonight,” Ryn declared.
I looked to her. “Pardon?”
“Black leotard, black leg warmers, I’m kicking out and pointing to everyone in the crowd with some twirls. It’s gonna be sick.”
“Ohmigod, your ‘What a Feeling’ is gonna rock,” I breathed.
I knew this because I’d seen her rehearse it, standing back in the shadows, where I’d been for ages while I avoided my friends as we all polished our varied routines to start the Revue.
“I know. I’ve been waiting for her to pull out ‘What a Feeling’ since we started,” Pepper said.
“That’s my first dance tonight,” Ryn said, eyes on me. “Ian’s putting me on first. I hope that’s okay with you.”
“Of course it is! You’ll knock their socks off. Tips will be primed for all of us,” I replied.
“Totes,” Pepper agreed.
“Okay, important shit, Axl kissed you?” Lottie asked.
I gave her big eyes.
“Was it hot?” Ryn asked.
I gave her bigger eyes.
“Right on,” Pepper whispered.
“He was really, really mad when Brett showed in the middle of it,” I shared. “Or, at all,” I added.
“I bet,” Ryn muttered.
“I don’t think that’s good. I’ve been, uh … messing with his head for a while,” I admitted.
“Not to give the impression I think messing with a man’s head is okay, but you have your reasons, and they’re not about intentionally jacking him around,” Lottie put in. “And these boys crook a finger and bitches fall at their feet. You don’t appreciate something if you don’t have to work for it. It’s not a bad thing he has to work for it.”
Well then.
That was sure something to think on.
“You fell at Mo’s feet,” Ryn said to Lottie.
“I didn’t. I stalked him across my living room,” Lottie corrected. “But Mo’s different. He’d been jacked around by chicks. It was me that had to do the fixing.”
“Oh, right.” Ryn grinned.
“Is this what bitches do? Stand around in a huddle and talk forfuckin’-ever?” Sylvester called impatiently from behind me.
We broke it off and I turned to him.
“We have stuff to sort, Sly,” I said.
“You also have work to do,” he reminded me.
“You just want to watch us dance,” I accused.
“Well … yeah,” he agreed.
“Right. I got another run-through to do. Then Ryn’s up. Hattie, you’re after. Cool?” Pepper planned.
“I need to get warmed up, so that works for me,” I told her.
Pepper moved to jump back up on the stage.
“You want popcorn, big man?” Ryn teased Sylvester.
“Not right now, maybe later,” Sylvester shot back.
Ryn smiled at him then started walking to the sound board, calling to Pepper, “Cue music!”
“Gotcha!” Pepper called back.
I moved to an open space to start stretching.
Half an hour later, I heard Sly mutter, “Best assignment fuckin’ ever.”
Ryn was doing “What a Feeling.”
And when he said this, I thought it might have been the first time that day, or maybe even that week, it could even be a month …
That I smiled.
CHAPTER SIX
Anytime
HATTIE
The night was over.
Ryn’s “What a Feeling” kicked butt.
Her routine was so dope, the audience was so primed for the rest of us, my tips had topped seven hundred.
I was in the dressing room, showered, had my face washed, was in civvies and ready to roll.
The girls had all gone after saying good-bye.
Brett was out back waiting for me in his town car.
Sylvester was outside the dressing room, waiting to escort me to the town car.
And the warmth of the good-bye from the girls meaning I had them back was receding.
Because I was looking at my texts.
It started with:
You’re right. You’ve always been
right. We really need to talk.
I hate that went bad this morning.
Let me know when a good time is
for you.
I’m on at the club tonight. But any
other time, I’m yours.
Just let me know.
After rehearsal and before going out to a late lunch with the girls to catch up on life, it was:
OK. I’m sensing you’re really mad
at me. And you have a right to be.
I’m sorry. I should have called you first
when that stalker phoned me.
I’m about to go out to lunch with
the girls. I apologized to Lottie and she’s
cool with me.
I’d love a chance to apologize to you too.
Will you let me?
He didn’t reply.
So after Sly and I went with Ryn to check out her flip (which was crazy fabulous, even Sly was impressed) …
And before going home to tidy breakfast dishes, make a grocery list, go to my father’s and feed him (in order not to have to explain things to my dad, I made Sly stay outside, and he did not demur, saying, “Good call. You don’t want me anywhere near a man who called you a whore. Especially if that asshole is your father.”—seemed Brett had a type when recruiting henchmen) …
I sent:
Message is coming through loud
and clear.
But just so you know, I’m in to
do the work.
Now it was 2:23 in the morning.
And Axl still hadn’t replied.
It was a bitter pill to swallow, tasting my own medicine.
Dejected, I walked out of the dressing rooms and avoided Sly’s eyes after catching him giving me a narrow look.
We weren’t even at the back door when he repeated his question of earlier.
“Everything cool?”
“Everything’s great,” I lied, still avoiding his eyes.
He escorted me to the town car.
But before he opened the back door to let me in, he said, “You’re a great dancer.”
I looked up at him. “Pardon?”
“Best I’ve ever seen. I should have been watching the crowd, but I couldn�
�t take my eyes off you, because you were that good.”
Oh man.
I was in danger of crying again.
“Thanks, Sly,” I whispered.
“Just tellin’ you the truth,” he said, and opened the door.
I folded in.
After I did, Sly bent down and exchanged a look with Brett I couldn’t decipher before he closed the door.
“Hey, sweetheart,” Brett greeted.
“Hey, Brett,” I replied.
The car started gliding away.
“It go good tonight?” he asked.
“I worked things out with the girls,” I told him.
“Yeah, Ryn texted me,” he muttered.
Seriously, those two seemed tight.
We had so much to catch up on at lunch, and Evie had joined us, so I didn’t get around to asking about that with Ryn.
The good news of the day, I could call her or text her or talk to her about it tomorrow.
I’d fixed that.
I had my friends back.
The other good news, the day was done.
That was all the good news.
“What about Pantera?” Brett asked after the bad news.
I looked out the side window. “I think he’s still mad.”
“Why do you think that?”
“I’ve texted three times, apologized, he hasn’t texted back.” I turned to him, but only to glance at him before I looked back out the side window. “He’s entitled. I did the same to him.”
“Mm,” Brett hummed.
He then fell silent.
So I looked forward and asked, “How was your day?”
“Interesting.”
He said no more.
“Well, that’s good, I guess,” I mumbled.
“You didn’t freak,” he stated bizarrely.
I again turned to him. “What?”
“When I told you some of the specifics about what Pantera does for a living. You didn’t know it, but when you heard it, you didn’t freak.”
This was confusing.
“Why would I freak?”
He hesitated for a second before he said, “If you don’t know, not sure I should tell you.”
“No, tell me.” I twisted fully to him. “Why would I freak?”
“The man doesn’t ride a desk, Hattie,” he replied carefully.
“I know,” I told him. “I also know he barely knew Ryn, he heard her scream when your guys took her …”
Brett’s face tightened with remorse in the streetlights.
Dream Spinner (Dream Team Book 3) Page 7