by Ford, Mia
It makes it more exciting anyway, it’s awesome. Plus, much as she’s the one girl who I would like to be in a relationship with, maybe this is the best way since I’m not great at commitment and things. Maybe this is the best way for both of us to ease our way into something a little more serious. I really do want to be with her.
I lean back in my seat and watch her walk away, knowing that it won’t be long until I can have her in my arms again. I glance at my watch, glad that it won’t be too much longer. My boring life with barely anything to do in it does get me frustrated. But time is ticking, and now that I have Lydia I want to build a future for both of us, and it’s making me think of things I might want to do with my life. I know I still have a while before I get my inheritance, but it’ll be better to have a plan. Or, a decision might be made where I need to leave before my inheritance is turned over to me, and if that happens I’ll need to make some sort of decision.
I grab my laptop, ready to do some more research. When I think back to my time in school I always recall really preferring the creative side of things. I could concentrate better, I was more enthusiastic, and excited. That’s where I want my future career to lay. It might not be something that my father approves of by I’m not living my life for him. Eventually, for the first time ever, I want to loosen the grip and live it for myself. It’s my life!
“Right,” I mutter quietly to myself as determination sets in. “Time to work everything out.”
It’s good to be positive, it makes me feel incredible. Hooking up with Lydia has started me on the long and winding road towards finally growing up. Honestly, it’s about freaking time! I can’t wait for what’s to come next.
* * *
The day feels long, but it’s a good one. After a lot of research, I think I’m decided with what I want to do with my life. I’m going to work in marketing or advertising, something like that. Something where I can use the creative side of my brain in a highly structured environment. The idea of working for an ad agency actually excites me in a way that I haven’t done before. I’ve even looked up agencies where I’d like to work. Of course, there isn’t anything here, this is only a small town, but there’s a city nearby full of them. I could move, I could do this. This is a life I could actually have, if I want to reach out and grab it, but I don’t want to alone.
In every image of a future in my mind, Lydia is there too. Honestly, she just brings me to life. I’ve had women sneaking in and out of my bedroom for years now, but I haven’t ever cared about any of them. I can’t even recall most of their names… but Lydia is different. Because I’ve loved her from afar forever, I’m madly into her. I know that she’s the one and the person I’m going to be with forever. I just need to tell my dad that…
He isn’t going to like it. When he eventually finds out, even if it’s in a couple of years, he’ll go mental. Lydia ‘isn’t good enough for the Vardi name or the family money’, he’s already made that perfectly clear, but that won’t stop me. I think once he understands how happy we make each other, he’ll come around. I hope anyway…
I grab the empty glass off my side table and pad down into the kitchen to get a drink, my mind is everywhere as I go. The idea of how I want my future to be is consuming me and it’s making me smile to myself like a lunatic.
“What is with you?” Lydia’s voice breaks through my thoughts, making the grin wider. “Nice smile.”
I take the stairs two at a time to get down quicker. I want to be nearer to her, that magnetic force is pulling me in. I desperately need to inhale that gorgeous, citrusy scent of hers once more. “Just thinking.”
“Thinking?” She flutters her eyelashes flirtingly at me. “About what, may I ask?”
I dare to reach one hand out and I brush it up and down her arm. The butterflies flapping in my stomach grow to the size of birds as electrical bolts shoot right through my system wildly. A visible shudder races through my body, I just can’t control myself around her, she does something to me. Something that I love. Every time I’m with her, I become intoxicated. I fall deeper into the addiction, leaving me helpless to her.
“About you, actually,” I murmur. “About what I’m going to do to you later on.”
There isn’t anyone around, and because of that I can’t help myself. I lean in and brush my lips lightly against hers. Kissing Lydia is the best thing of all. Of everything I love, this is the best. Her plump lips are delicious; she always has a taste of strawberries about her. I also feel more connected to her when we’re kissing than everything else. That part of contact has always seemed a little pointless before. Simply one step before the end goal of sex. But with Lydia, I like that part even more. I would kiss her all day long given half the chance.
“And what are you going to do to me later on?” Lydia whispers with her eyes falling closed. “I can’t wait.”
I squeeze her hand in mine, just loving her for a second. I know that I should hold back because it’s much too soon to start to make seeping declarations that might scare her off, but rationality doesn’t even come into it. My mouth opens and the words start spilling out of my lips without me even thinking about it.
“Being with you is the best thing in the world,” I mutter to her. “I’m falling for you.”
“You are?” Lydia pulls back shocked, and she gives me a look. “Are you serious?”
I swallow down the lump which forms in my throat. She’s giving me a choice here. I could easily back out of what I’ve just said and pretend I meant it in a different way, but that would be a lie, so I no instead.
“I am, Lydia. And that’s because I’ve liked you forever.” My heart thunders in my chest as I admit this. “I’ve had a crush on you for so long but actually being with you feels even better than I thought it would do.”
“You’ve had a crush on me?” An adorable red color fills her cheeks. “I’ve had one on you too.”
I chuckle, shaking my head in amusement. “So, we’ve both had a crush on each other, yet it’s only just happened.” It’s almost unbelievable. “I suppose that’s my fault because I always had other girls around.” I guess all the honesty is coming out now. “But that’s because I thought I couldn’t have you.”
I can’t believe that we’re having such an open and honest discussion in the hallway where anyone could hear us, but we’ve started now, we can’t exactly stop. I cup Lydia’s cheek and smile at her.
“Wow, that’s really overwhelming.” She looks understandably stunned. “I can’t believe it. I feel so lucky.”
“No.” I shake my head rapidly. “I’m the lucky one. I get to have you.”
I dip my head in and kiss her once more, my heart soaring as I do. God, she feels good. This is a moment I want to cling to forever more and never let go. My whole body feels warm with love.
Yep, I feel it so I might as well say it. “Lydia, I love you.” Once those three crazy heavy words come flying past my lips, I lose the ability to keep my thoughts under control. “I do, and I know it’s soon but that’s really how I feel. Like I want to keep on loving you forever more. I want to… to marry you!”
I almost expect Lydia to burst out laughing as I say this because it’s so ridiculous, but she doesn’t. Instead, her expression turns to one of complete seriousness. She gets me, better than anyone ever has done before. She understands that I really did mean those words, even if they’re totally wild. “You… love me?”
I nod. “Yes, I do. And I’m sorry if that scares you…”
Lydia takes my hand and she stares up into my eyes. “I love you too, Jamie. Even if it is crazy, like you said. I’ve been in this for a long time as well. And you… you want to marry me?”
“I’m not saying that we should get married right now,” I chuckle. “But I will marry you.” I cock my head to one side and regard her curiously. “Yes, I definitely will marry you, I promise.”
Lydia glances down, then back up to me. “You’ll marry me even if your father doesn’t want that?”
Ah, I see she’s more perceptive than I gave her credit for. She must have seen how my dad reacts to her even if he tries to hide his prejudice… a little bit anyway. But I don’t care. Now this is even more serious, we’re in love! “I’ll marry you, no matter what,” I reassure her as I link my fingers through hers. “I promise. And I don’t promise lightly, when I make promises I truly do mean that.”
She links her pinkie finger through mine and we shake, making it into a childish pinkie promise gesture. We both giggle as we do it and I have a funny feeling that this might become a thing between us. I certainly hope so, I would love nothing more than to have something meaningful just for us. That builds a bond and brings us even closer.
We share an intense moment of eye contact which almost knocks my socks off, but unfortunately, before I can kiss her again, Sandi’s horrible shrill voice bursts into the hallway making us leap apart as if we’re been electrocuted. Trust that horrible woman to break up the most wonderful moment ever.
“I better get back to work,” Lydia murmurs quietly, her cheeks coloring once more, but now in an embarrassed way. I wish I could take that feeling away from her. “But I’ll see you later on, okay?”
I hate to let her go but I don’t have any choice. I need to, to keep up the ruse. As I watch her walk away, I feel even better than I have done ever before. Now, we are in love, even if no one else will understand it, which gives me something else to look forward to. Everything from here on out looks good. I think it’ll be amazing.
7
Lydia
“Who keeps putting a smile on your face?” Dad asks me, sending guilt cascading through my system. I hate having something so powerful and meaningful in my life that I can’t share with him. “It can’t still be Kerry.”
It’s so embarrassing, I can’t even tell him that I haven’t really spoken to Kerry since she left for college because then I’ll have to admit the truth. I don’t blame Kerry. I know she’s starting a brand new exciting chapter of her life that doesn’t really have room for me in it anymore. If I was in her position, I’m sure I would be wrapped up too, I don’t blame her, I just miss her. But I suppose it makes things easier that we aren’t talking much because I know for a fact that she wouldn’t approve of what’s going on now. She never liked Jamie.
Still, me having a secret fling with the boy I’ve loved forever, the one who I now know has loved me too, is so much better than what she thought would happen when I took on the job. Mr. Vardi and I. Urgh, as if!
“Yeah, she erm…” I can feel the heat creeping up my cheeks. “She’s having a good time at college…”
“She is, huh?” Dad cocks his head curiously to one side. “And that’s who you’re talking to now?”
He knows I’m lying; it’s written all over his face. That makes me deflate. I don’t want to tell fibs to my father, I want to be as open and honest with him as any daughter should. The last thing I want is to cause him pain. My eyes flicker downwards as I try to decide on my next move. This thing I have with Jamie is so important, it’s one of the most monumental things to ever happen to me. Especially now that he’s told me he loves me. That changes everything. I’m definitely not a girl going through his revolving door because he’s made a promise to me that we’re going to be together forever, maybe even get married. He also told me that he always keeps his promises and I’m inclined to believe him. I know him now. I feel like I have a real bond with him. We talk as well as have sex and I think we’re really compatible. Our love is perfect and although I’m scared my dad might not like it, I still want to tell him so Jamie and I are no longer the only ones who know. After all, what’s the point of having a promise between us if it can’t amount to anything? If no one knows, we’ll always be stuck.
I glance back up at Dad, mentally telling myself that this is the right thing to do. His hopeful face seems to sense that I’m about to let him in, which I suppose is huge since it’s been a while.
Oh God, my heart rate kicks up a notch, ice cold panic circles my veins. Just do it already.
“There is someone,” I admit with a shaky voice. “And I’ll tell you who, but you have to promise not to freak.”
His whole face darkens, I can almost sense millions of horrible possibilities flooding his mind. I might have made this sound worse than it is, which might work in my favor when I finally reveal the truth.
“Who is it?” he demands, almost angrily. I can see his fists balling up by his sides. “Tell me, Lydia.”
“It’s…” Oh God, my whole throat has run completely dry. Maybe I shouldn’t have started this after all. Now that I’m in the process of saying it, it doesn’t feel like such a good idea. “It’s Jamie.”
He’s silent for far too long. I actually feel nervous while I wait for him to process this. The cogs tick loudly, making my heart jolt and dart through my body. While his brain spins, I chew on my bottom lip.
“Jamie?” he finally gasps out in shock. “Jamie Vardi? Are you serious, Lydia? Do you understand…?”
“I know how it sounds, Dad, but I really like him…” My words trail off as I realize how it sounds.
“You can’t do this.” he shakes his head rapidly. “You work for Mr. Vardi and so do I. We could both lose our jobs here; this is really serious.” He rakes his fingers through his hair looking incredibly stressed. “You can’t have a fling with Jamie, Lydia, it’s just too risky. We can barely keep a roof over our heads as it is.”
I do feel guilt coursing through my system, but it isn’t enough to make me want to stop. “Dad, it isn’t a fling.” I can’t stop the stupid smile from spreading across my face as I say this. “He loves me. We’re in love.”
Dad’s expression hardens. For a moment, I think that he’ll start up his yelling again, but then it softens just as rapidly and I feel my shoulders fall back down from my ears where they were resting. Thank God, he isn’t going to yell. I expected anger to come flying out of him as I finally confessed this. I guess I’m lucky.
“Lyds, I know that you probably think that, but you can’t possibly be in love, can you? You don’t even know him really. He’s just a guy. I can understand why you think the way you do but it isn’t…”
“No.” I won’t allow him to play down our love. “No, honestly, Dad, it’s real. It is. And I do know him.” I need to admit it all. “I’ve liked him forever, for far too long, and now that we’re spending a lot of time together – not in work, don’t worry, you don’t need to panic about that – and I like him more all the time.”
Dad rubs his forehead hard; the same gesture I use when I’m trying my hardest to ward off a headache. I hate that I’ve caused him so much distress, but I cannot help who I love, and I really love him. I just hope that Dad understands that. I don’t want him to think this is just a passing phase.
“I just don’t want us to lose our jobs, Lyds, you can understand that, can’t you?” Dad pleads with me. “You know that I don’t want to stand in the way of true love or whatever this is, but I can’t lose my work. I need this job so much. It’s all I can do now, and in this small town I won’t get another job if I’m fired.”
I grab Dad’s hands and give him a sincere look. “Dad, I promise you that whatever happens, I won’t let that happen.” If this is all he’s concerned about then it’s an easy fix, isn’t it, surely? “I’ll do what it takes.”
He sighs loudly, and nods in a resigned but accepting way. This is what I love about my father, we seem to have this understanding. He wants me to be happy despite all the odds being stacked against us, which is why I’m determined not to let anything bad happen to him. He just doesn’t deserve it.
“I promise you, Dad.” I make a promise of my own. “I’ll take care of you before anyone else.”
He huffs out once more. “Lyds, I know I can trust you. You’re a smart girl. Just make the right choice.”
The right choice is Jamie. I don’t even need to think about it. I know. No one will ever make me feel like he does. He�
��s the one for me. Our future, whatever happens, is going to be amazing.
* * *
“So, my dad is worried about losing his job,” I say breathlessly as I link my fingers through Jamie’s. Lying on his bed is always dangerous because it’s so damn comfortable. I can feel my eyelashes fluttering, my sex addled brain all ready to completely shut down. “If your father finds out about us.”
I brace myself, ready for him to yell that I shouldn’t have told my dad anything, but that doesn’t happen. Jamie just has a lazy sounding sigh and he asks smilingly, “So, you told your dad about us? I can’t believe it.”
I prop myself up onto my elbow and stare down at his beautiful face. The more I get to know Jamie, the more I love him. The more I like his personality. He’s everything, he’s utterly incredible.
“Well, if we’re going to be together then people need to find out, don’t they?”
I wait eagerly for his response. I know that it’s important. After all the promises he’s made I want to know how deeply he feels them. If he’s serious, then he’ll want this too, won’t he?
“Oh, of course.” He pulls me back down next to him and I fall easily, willingly. “We do need to tell everyone, but your dad might be right to be worried. My father can be an asshole.” I suck in a bit of a panicked breath as I think about him in the same building as us, somewhere. “We’ll need to handle it very carefully.”
I nod slowly, wondering how to do that. “Well, you know your dad better than me. What’s the plan?”
He turns his head and stares deliberately at me. “I made a promise to you, didn’t I?” I nod. “And I intend to keep it. I’ll find a way to make it work, okay? You need to just trust me.”
I lean in and kiss him on the lips, loving the way this makes me feel. “I do trust you, I’m just excited.”