Player

by Sean Ashcroft

  Not that Isaac would care what he looked like, probably. Julian wanted to look good for himself.

  That was totally it. He didn’t really believe he had even half a chance with Isaac, whether he was straight or not.

  Just as he was thinking that, a familiar face appeared in the window in front of him. Julian jumped, turning to see Isaac standing there, grinning broadly.

  He looked good. Really good. A warm summer tan made his skin glow, even though the city was still struggling to free itself from the last of the cold weather. His hair was neat and just a touch artfully disheveled, a look that worked a lot better on him than it did on Julian.

  Julian wet his lips. “Uh, hey. I was just…”

  “Staring at your own reflection?” Isaac teased, still grinning. “I guess that vanity never wore off.”

  “Yeah, well… some of us can’t make the just-rolled-out-of-bed look work for them.” He shrugged. Isaac probably put a lot of effort into looking effortless.

  That was what Julian planned on telling himself, anyway.

  “C’mere,” Isaac said, holding his arms out. Julian accepted the hug eagerly, wrapping his arms around his oldest friend and squeezing tight.

  His heart swooped in his chest at the contact.

  Isaac smelled as good as he looked, a fresh, masculine scent that he couldn’t quite break down into component parts, but seemed as though it had been made for Isaac’s personality. Bright and confident, a little sharp on the edges, but gorgeous once the hard top notes had faded.

  “You look great,” Isaac said as he pulled away. “I love this whole… business casual catalogue model look you’ve got going on.”

  Julian’s stomach flipped at the compliment. And it was a compliment, despite the way Isaac had phrased it. Julian knew him well enough to know when he was being sincere.

  “Th-thank you,” he stuttered, blushing as he did so. “Should we, uh…” He gestured vaguely toward the door.

  “Absolutely, I’m gonna die of starvation out here,” Isaac said, leading the way toward the door.

  Julian followed, like he always did. The shredded jeans Isaac was wearing did wonders for his already great ass, so the view was more than worth hanging back for.

  Being around Isaac always made him happy. Julian knew that was never likely to change.

  “I’m gonna have to trust you on the menu,” Julian said as they sat down. “Since I’ve never been.”

  Isaac’s entire face lit up. “This place is like a little hidden secret. Well…” He nodded to the crowd behind them, having picked a table in the far corner. “Not that good a secret, but it’s definitely underrated. You trust me to order for you?”

  Julian nodded. Of course he trusted Isaac to order for him.

  A pretty waitress beamed at Isaac as she came over, and Julian tuned out of the conversation, wanting to be surprised. Something about a house special, and then something else.

  Isaac was flirting, but he was always flirting. He’d grown up from the awkward teenager Julian had first fallen in love with to a gorgeous, confident man. It was nice to see, even if the flirting wasn’t directed at Julian himself.

  “So, uh…” Isaac leaned forward, planting his elbows on the table as soon as the waitress was gone. “Are you, umm, seeing anyone?”

  Julian blinked. That was… an interesting question to open with.

  “No,” Julian said, too quickly. He could feel his heartbeat speeding up, making his head light. “Uh, no, no one at all.”

  Was… there was no way Isaac was about to ask him…

  “Good, because I need a favor that would’ve upset your boyfriend,” Isaac said.

  All Julian could manage to do in response to that was stare. Isaac looked at him expectantly, obviously waiting for a response.

  “Anything,” Julian promised, and he meant it. There was very little Isaac could ask him that he’d refuse.

  “I want you to be my boyfriend. For like three weeks.”

  Julian’s head spun. Boyfriend?

  Three weeks?

  That… was better than nothing, he supposed, but it sounded suspicious.

  “I’m not sure I follow,” Julian said.

  Isaac wouldn’t just… demand to be his boyfriend all of a sudden. He was better with people than that.

  Also, Julian had never gotten that lucky in his life, so he wasn’t expecting to start now.

  Isaac was up to something.

  “So uh… I know you heard about… umm, me being bi, and obviously there’s nothing wrong with that but I’m… uh, not,” Isaac said, playing with an empty glass in the middle of the table.

  Julian took the opportunity to pour water into two of the remaining glasses, pushing one toward Isaac before grabbing his own and holding it close to his chest like a safety blanket.

  “That guy just kissed me out of nowhere,” Isaac added.

  Julian’s eyes widened. “You think he set you up?”

  Isaac shook his head. “No, I think… I think he genuinely thought I was into him, and that’s probably my fault, but that’s not the point. The point is…”

  Isaac trailed off, breathing a heavy sigh.

  Julian sipped his water, waiting for him to decide what the point was. None of this made a whole lot of sense.

  “Look, I woke up the next morning to a lot of people being dicks about it, but so many more people being thrilled that I’d come out. That they could see someone like them with a relatively successful sports career who apparently hadn’t been held back. People were calling me an inspiration.”

  Julian nodded, following so far, but still waiting for Isaac to come to something resembling a point.

  “And then I thought of you coming out to me… what, ten years ago now? And being scared and feeling alone, and I couldn’t do anything to help you back then. But now… I could help. I could help maybe thousands of kids. And I want your help to do it.”

  “This is all very noble, but I’m still not sure what you want me to do.”

  Isaac shrugged. “Like I said, be my boyfriend. Or I mean… teach me to be bi. For the kids.”

  “I’m gay,” Julian said.

  “Right, and I’m straight, so between us we make one bisexual.” Isaac beamed at him as though that was the cleverest thing anyone had ever said.

  Julian had never claimed to be an expert, but he wasn’t sure that was how it worked.

  All the same… Isaac was asking for his help, and it seemed to be for a good cause. Julian wasn’t inclined to refuse him.

  “Why three weeks?” he asked after a moment, wanting to know exactly what he was getting himself into before he agreed.

  “There’s a two-day charity tournament the weekend after next. So it’s not even three full weeks. Please say yes.”

  Julian looked up at Isaac’s soft, pleading puppy eyes, and knew he couldn’t refuse him.

  “Yes. But I’m still not sure…”

  “We’ll figure it out,” Isaac said, waving away Julian’s concerns. He’d always been convinced that everything would work out for the best.

  In Isaac’s case, that was normally true.

  The waitress returned with two burgers, stacked so high that Julian would almost have excused someone eating them with a knife and fork.

  Almost.

  “This looks amazing,” Julian said, glad to have a break from the confusing conversation they’d just gotten through.

  “See? I’m gonna make a great boyfriend,” Isaac said, picking a crispy onion ring from his plate.

  “Well, I was afraid you were ordering something ridiculous, so…”

  “You trusted me,” Isaac said. “I’d never betray your trust.”

  Julian smiled at that. “And I’d never betray yours,” he said. “This… whatever you’re trying to do, your secret’s safe with me. And I’ll help you with whatever you need.”

  “Knew I could count on you,” Isaac said between bites, apparently more interested in food now.

  Julian�
�s heart fluttered at the absolute certainty in Isaac’s voice.

  This was probably going to kill him, but if it made Isaac this happy, it was worth it.

  Chapter Five

  “So, what’s the verdict, doc?” Isaac asked, pulling his shirt back over his head on the examination table. He grinned his brightest grin at the doctor, hoping she’d be charmed enough to write off the remaining stiffness in his shoulder as lack of exercise.

  “You’re healing up just fine,” Doctor Carr said. “And you’re telling me it’s just a little stiff?”

  Isaac nodded. That was true, and he’d been careful about it. He didn’t need an injury to take him out of professional competition at twenty-six.

  “Then I think you’ll be okay as long as you’re sensible with getting back to training. A low-stakes tournament would probably be good for you, actually.”

  Isaac breathed a sigh of relief. That was exactly what he needed to hear.

  “Awesome. So you’ll sign off on me?”

  “I will,” she said, gesturing to the chair in front of her desk. Isaac hopped off the examination table and grabbed the hoodie he’d come here in, pulling it on for warmth.

  “Thanks. For this, and for everything else,” Isaac said. “You’ve been an awesome doctor.”

  “Yeah, well, us bisexuals have to stick together, right?” she asked, a smile playing around her lips.

  A wave of guilt washed over Isaac. She was helping him out at least partially out of solidarity, but he didn’t deserve it. This was a lie.

  He swallowed. Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea after all? It did mean lying to people.

  But then… she was smiling. And he was doing this to make people happy.

  As long as no one ever knew it was a lie… was it even really a lie?

  His mom would have said yes, and Isaac knew deep down that was true, but it wasn’t going to hurt anyone. Not all lies were bad. Sometimes they were kind.

  This was about kindness. And the only person he stood to hurt was himself, so…

  Yeah, that was all the justification he needed. The people he’d disappoint if he told the truth now, and the fact that he was the only one really affected by it.

  He was doing more good than harm, which was all he’d ever wanted to do.

  “Definitely,” Isaac said after a slightly too long pause.

  It was a surprise that it mattered to adults, too, but it shouldn’t have been. Isaac hadn’t spent much time thinking about any of this, but now…

  He knew he was doing the right thing. The look on Doctor Carr’s face was proof of that.

  Maybe he’d have to talk to Julian about that. He obviously didn’t understand the full extent of what he was doing, here.

  Too late to back out now, though.

  “So is that it?” Isaac asked as Doctor Carr handed his signed and stamped papers over.

  “Unless there’s something else bothering you?”

  Isaac shook his head.

  There were plenty of things bothering him, but they weren’t really sports medicine territory. Mostly, he was worried about how this thing with Julian was going to work out, and whether or not he could actually still play tennis well enough not to embarrass himself.

  He’d only been out six weeks, but it felt like a lifetime.

  “Then I’ll see you before the professional season starts for your annual physical,” she said, smiling warmly at him. “Good luck at the tournament.”

  “Thanks.” Isaac stood, stuffing his hands in his pockets. “Couldn’t do it without you.”

  He meant that sincerely. Isaac was used to clashing with doctors, but not this one. Her advice was easy to listen to, and he never felt like she was judging him.

  Feeling good about his accomplishments for the day, Isaac stepped out into the front street and let the sun warm his back. The days were finally starting to feel a little more like warm weather was just around the corner.

  Summer meant competition season. He wanted to be back in shape by then, and having a goal to work toward would be good for him.

  His phone vibrated in his pocket just as he rounded the corner back toward his apartment.

  “Hey, mom,” he answered, excited to tell her that he’d been cleared to go.

  “There’s a spot waiting for you in that tournament,” she said. “As long as you can drop your medical clearance off by close of business today.”

  “Good thing I just got it, then.” Isaac beamed. “Passed with flying colors.”

  “Don’t you mean rainbow colors?” his mom teased.

  Isaac’s heart fluttered at that. He was glad his mom had come around to the idea. He’d relied on her support since forever, and he didn’t want her to think he was making a bad decision now.

  She probably would have taken it better if he’d actually come out as bi, but… as long as she was okay with it now.

  “Was that a joke?” Isaac asked, faking a scandalized voice.

  “Might have been. Can I tell them you’ll be in later today?”

  “Uh, yeah,” Isaac said. “Tell them I’m heading over right now, actually. Walk’ll do me good.”

  “That what the doctor said?”

  “Kinda. She said go easy but that a low-stakes tournament would be good for my recovery. I think so, too. Honestly… this couldn’t have worked out any better.”

  “You never told me what happened with Julian,” his mom said.

  Isaac swallowed. He felt like a lot had happened with Julian, not least of all he’d been so happy to see Isaac that Isaac was drowning in guilt over not making arrangements to see him sooner.

  “He agreed to help me. Seemed to think I was doing a good thing,” Isaac said. It had been good to have Julian’s approval, to know he wasn’t going down the wrong path.

  Julian had always looked after him like that. Isaac was impulsive. Frankly, irresponsible. Julian had spent a lot of time guiding him away from doing himself any real or serious harm.

  In hindsight, he probably should have kept Julian closer all this time. Maybe his long string of ex-girlfriends wouldn’t have been so long. Or so upset with him.

  He was turning over a new leaf now, though, and he’d have the benefit of Julian’s advice to help him. Plus the benefit of his company and sense of humor, both of which Isaac loved.

  “He’s a good boy. I want you to invite him to dinner when he’s free. I’d like to see how he’s doing for myself.”

  “I’ll invite him,” Isaac promised. Julian would probably love that.

  “I’ll text you the address of the office you need to go to. It’s not all that far from your doctor.”

  “Thanks, mom. I’ll text you when I’ve handed the forms in.”

  “Good boy,” his mom said. “Love you.”

  “Love you too, mom,” Isaac said, hanging up the phone and pausing to grab a cup of coffee while he waited for the address to come through.

  Things were working out, and he couldn’t wait to get started.

  Chapter Six

  A lot of thought had gone into picking Isaac’s first ever gay bar, and Julian was proud of his choice. Classy enough not to get groped by too many strangers, but fun enough to satisfy Isaac’s personality.

  “So this is it?” Isaac asked, looking up at the unsubtle rainbow sign.

  “You were expecting something else?” Julian asked. Maybe this hadn’t been the right choice, though Isaac was definitely dressed for it. Painted-on jeans that left excruciatingly little to the imagination and a black t-shirt that had almost definitely shrunk in the wash was the perfect look for him, whether he knew it or not.

  He was going to draw a lot of attention in here, but Julian suspected he’d like that. Even if it was mostly male attention.

  Isaac kept looking up at the sign.

  “I’m not freaking out,” he said, which meant he was.

  Julian’s heart sank. He’d been afraid of this. He should have picked somewhere more discreet to start with, but he’d been afraid th
at’d bore Isaac.

  “We can go,” Julian offered.

  To his surprise, Isaac shook his head. “No,” he said, finally looking away from the sign and at Julian instead. “Just… hold my hand?”

  Julian looked down at Isaac’s offered hand, and then reached out to take it without having to think for a moment. Of course he’d hold Isaac’s hand.

  “Thanks,” Isaac murmured.

  Julian tugged him toward the door, pulling him inside quickly. The same way he would have ripped a bandaid off or plunged into a pool. Once the initial shock was over, Isaac would be fine.

  As soon as they were safely inside, Julian turned to look at Isaac.

  Only to find him staring with his mouth wide open at the crowd.

  “Wow,” he said softly, his eyes lighting up.

  Warmth spread in Julian’s chest. Isaac looked like a kid at Christmas, a man discovering a whole new world. Julian couldn’t remember him ever being so endearing.

  Well… that was a lie, but it was really endearing.

  “You know you’re staring, right?” Julian asked while they were still in the slightly quieter part of the bar, where conversation wasn’t literally impossible. He doubted anyone here would mind a man like Isaac staring at them, but it was still theoretically rude.

  “If you hadn’t been allowed to look at men your entire life and then you were in a room full of them and there was at least the possibility that all of them might want you… wouldn’t you stare?”

  Julian blushed, thinking back to his own first time in a gay bar. He’d definitely done a lot of staring.

  He’d gone with a boyfriend, too. A real boyfriend, but Isaac was stuck with a fake one.

  Slowly, Julian realized he was still holding Isaac’s hand. He wasn’t sure if now was the time to let go, though. He’d have to find a way to do that gently, since he didn’t want Isaac to feel like he was being abandoned.

  Or like Julian didn’t like holding his hand. He’d come to the conclusion that if this was all he was ever getting from Isaac, he might as well enjoy it.

  “So, uh…” Isaac said, looking around. “How many drinks are you gonna need before you’ll dance?”