She pulled him into an unexpected hug, squeezing tight. “He’s happier, when you’re around. Whatever happened… it hurt him, and I can see guilt and pain all over your face, so I guess mistakes have been made on both sides.”
Julian swallowed. That… pretty much summed it up.
“But you’re happier, too,” she continued. “And take it from an old woman, happiness is rare and precious. Forgiveness is much easier than you think it is. I’m not going to tell you what to do. You’re a smart young man, and you can make your own decisions. But I can tell you now that regret is the hardest thing in the world.”
Regret definitely felt like the hardest thing in the world right now. Julian regretted everything that had happened today.
Especially in the light of the night before, when he’d been so sure Isaac...
“Besides,” Mrs. Hudson added after a moment, interrupting his thoughts. “He loves you with all his little heart.”
Yeah. Isaac had said so, and Julian hadn’t been able to bring himself to believe it, not really.
Except… he’d known. He’d always known Isaac loved him, but he hadn’t been sure of how until very, very recently.
“Lead me inside,” Mrs. Hudson said, nodding toward the door. “And don’t worry yourself about any of this. If you don’t fight sometimes, it’s because what you have isn’t worth fighting for.”
Julian offered his arm, not entirely sure that made sense to him, but still nodding along. Mrs. Hudson probably knew a little more about love and loss than he did. Isaac’s father had left the two of them before he and Julian had ever met, but he got the feeling it had hurt her deeply.
She didn’t want that for her son, and Julian… Julian didn’t want that for himself, either. Even if all he could manage now was to patch things up with Isaac so they stayed friends, he didn’t want to lose him entirely.
His stomach still churned as he walked inside, worried about how Isaac was going to react to him.
The crowd was practically impenetrable inside, people milling about so closely their shoulders brushed against each other. The air suddenly felt suffocating, as though having this many people in one room was using up all the oxygen.
Julian excused himself from Mrs. Hudson’s side, seeking out a flute of champagne and as quiet a corner as he could, trying to make himself look as uninteresting as possible in case someone decided he looked lonely and could use someone to talk to.
The only someone he wanted to talk to was Isaac.
He had no idea what he was going to say. There was too much going through his head, too many thoughts to boil down to a few neatly-ordered sentences.
Sorry and I love you probably needed to come first. Those seemed like important things to say.
The crowd turned as one to the stage when the screech of audio equipment being turned on filled the room. Julian looked up as well, seeing a greying man in what was definitely a hired tuxedo standing behind the podium.
Julian was suddenly much happier with his choice of a sensible, plain black suit and pale pink shirt. He’d planned the outfit days ago, sending a picture for Isaac’s approval.
Isaac had immediately said that he wanted a pink shirt, which had made Julian grin like an idiot for a solid three minutes before one of his colleagues caught him and asked him what he was so happy about.
His stomach turned again. The thought of having lost that, the simple joy of just talking to Isaac, made him want to throw up. All he wanted was to bask in Isaac’s presence. Maybe hold on tight to him, if he’d allow it.
The speeches seemed to go on for hours, though the occasional glance at his phone told Julian they were actually only a few minutes each. It was just that every person talking somehow managed to be more boring than the last.
Julian focused on the stage again when he heard Isaac’s name.
He watched Isaac appear from somewhere off to the side, walking over as a gorgeous blonde in a shimmery gold dress that hugged her curves handed him the heart-shaped trophy he’d won.
Julian’s heart swelled with pride. No matter how mad he had been with Isaac, or how unsure and worried he was now, he was proud of him.
He’d always been proud of him.
All he wanted was for Isaac to be proud back.
Isaac cleared his throat as he stood behind the podium, setting the trophy down awkwardly.
“This is the part I suck at, so I’ll try to make it short,” he said, making a ripple of polite laughter run through the audience. “I, uh, I actually have something specific to say this time. First of all, I’ve never actually come out publicly, so I’m doing it now. I’m bisexual, and I’ve been dating this really great guy.”
That got Julian’s attention. He looked up to meet Isaac’s eyes, only to find Isaac staring right back at him.
His heart fluttered in his chest.
“This really great guy who I love, and who I probably don’t deserve. He’s been there for me every step of the way, and I’m proud to call him my best friend as well as my boyfriend. That is, uh… if he’ll accept this as an apology.”
Tears welled up in Julian’s eyes, a lump forming in his throat. His chest felt tight, all the air in the room leaving all over again, making it impossible to draw a breath.
Instead of trying to say anything, he just met Isaac’s eyes and nodded.
The way Isaac’s face lit up would have outshone a thousand suns.
Isaac loved him. The realization hit Julian with full force, his heart hammering in his chest.
Isaac loved him.
Loved him so much that he was apologizing in front of all these people, because he didn’t want to lose him.
Julian missed the rest of whatever Isaac said, still busy processing the part he’d heard.
Of course he’d accept that as an apology. It was more than he’d ever have asked for.
He wanted to be Isaac’s best friend, and his boyfriend, and he could believe now that Isaac wanted that, too.
He’d just told practically the whole world, after all.
Isaac stood and waited for people to applaud for a few seconds when he finished talking, the climbed off the stage, passing the trophy to his mom and kissing her cheek on the way past.
Before making a beeline straight to were Julian was standing, appearing in front of him within a few heartbeats.
Julian’s stomach swooped. Isaac was right there.
“I meant every word,” Isaac began before Julian could even think about saying anything. “And I screwed up, and I know… exactly how I screwed up, and I can’t promise you that I’ll never do anything wrong again, but I’d never hurt you. Not for anything.”
“I know,” Julian said softly, ready to apologize for his part in their argument. “I know that, deep down, and I shouldn’t have doubted you because I know you. I just… never believed I could really have you.”
Isaac looked at him for a moment, eyes darting all over his face, and then without another word, swooped in and caught Julian’s lips.
He kept the kiss chaste, lips barely parted, soft and sweet against Julian’s. Julian could feel people taking pictures around them, but he ignored it.
Isaac pulled back first, but only far enough to rest their foreheads together. He raised a hand to Julian’s jaw, the tenderness of the gesture making Julian’s insides clench all at once.
People could take all the pictures they wanted. He was too happy to care.
“I love you,” Isaac murmured. “Kinda always have.”
“Me too,” Julian whispered back, grabbing both of Isaac’s hands and holding them tight. “Always will,” he promised, because he knew it was true.
He hadn’t stopped loving Isaac since he’d fallen for him in the first place, and he didn’t plan on doing it now. Not now that they were finally on the same page.
“So, uh,” Isaac said, his voice dropping a half-octave and too soft for anyone but Julian to hear. “We have a ton of desperate teenage makeout sessions to make up for.”
Julian laughed. “Shake all the hands you have to quickly and then take me home,” he said, his pulse already pounding at the thought.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Isaac laughed as Julian pushed him back on the bed, kicking his shoes off hurriedly and shuffling up toward the pillows. He watched Julian shrug his jacket off and let it hit the floor, barely remembering having his own removed at the front door.
They’d kissed the whole way to the bedroom, and Isaac’s chest was still heaving with the need to catch his breath.
Not that he really wanted to catch his breath. As Julian stalked him up the bed, pausing to unbutton his cuffs, Isaac had already had more than enough of not kissing him.
Thankfully, Julian apparently felt the same way, putting a hand on the middle of his chest to brace himself and then more or less crashing into Isaac’s lips, a low, hungry noise rumbling in his chest.
“I want you,” he murmured against Isaac’s lips, fingers already working on the buttons of Isaac’s shirt.
It was hard to argue with that.
Isaac’s hands went to Julian’s belt, working the buckle open with less finesse than he would have liked. He finally tugged it free with a triumphant laugh, tossing it aside, and by then Julian was urging him to shrug out of his shirt.
A moment later he watched it fluttering to the floor, and Julian was on top of him again, tugging at his belt this time.
Isaac reached out, curling his hand around the back of Julian’s neck and pulling him in for a biting kiss. Forget the sloppy, nervous makeouts teenagers had. He wanted all of Julian, every inch of him, starting with his lips and tongue and teeth.
Arousal built in the pit of his stomach, tight and hot and urgent. The kiss broke for a second, both of them panting for breath while Julian wriggled out of his pants—and underwear.
Isaac risked a look, licking his lips when he saw that Julian was already hard.
For him.
If he ever got used to that, he’d be surprised.
“Your bisexuality is showing again,” Julian teased. “I’m so proud of you for coming out, but you didn’t have to.”
“The ship had already sailed,” Isaac said, looking up at Julian with unfocused eyes. “Might as well have a little say in the direction it’s going.”
Julian hummed, hooking his thumbs into the waistband of Isaac’s pants and underwear at the same time, tugging them down past his hips, past his knees, and then leaving Isaac to kick them the rest of the way off while his beautiful, incredible boyfriend stared helplessly at his cock.
At least that was a problem they both had.
“Can I…” Julian started, halting halfway to meet Isaac’s eyes instead. “How do you feel about switching, this time?”
A wave of lust washed over Isaac, making his head light for a moment with the sheer force of it. He wet his lips, then nodded eagerly, trying to come up with words that weren’t hell yes dear god please.
Julian smiled the shyest, most wonderful smile Isaac had seen on him since they were kids.
Which was a little jarring considering what it was for, but that didn’t stop Isaac enjoying it even a little.
Without a moment’s hesitation, Julian climbed on top of him again, rocking his hips in a slow, deep circle against Isaac’s, their cocks rubbing together between them. The sheer intimacy of it was enough to make Isaac gasp, his chest tight with everything he was suddenly feeling.
He reached out to the other side of the bed, shoving his hand under the pillow to produce the lube he’d bought and stashed there after his and Julian’s first time.
“When did you get a chance to use half a bottle of lube?” Julian asked, glancing over at the bottle in Isaac’s hand.
Isaac blushed deeply. “I, uh… was… experimenting? After we, umm…”
Julian’s eyes lit up. “I’m gonna want to see that sometime. You experimenting.”
There was that wave of lust again, tugging on Isaac’s gut, threatening to pull him under. Not that he minded drowning in Julian.
“But not now,” Julian murmured, leaning in again and kissing Isaac, running nimble fingers up his side, tickling his ribs to make him gasp, seizing the opportunity to push his tongue into Isaac’s mouth, claiming every inch of it as his own.
He didn’t need to bother. Isaac was already his.
The kiss broke slowly, arousal pooling in Isaac’s stomach, his cock starting to leak between them. Julian smiled down at him, so obviously content that Isaac couldn’t stop himself smiling back.
“You know I’m never letting you go now, right?” Julian said, smoothing his thumb over Isaac’s collarbone.
“Works for me,” Isaac murmured, reaching out to cover Julian’s hand with his own. He rocked his hips, just a little, happy to stay like this a while longer.
He’d never been so incredibly, utterly in love with someone he’d taken to bed before. He could wait to get off if it meant he got to keep feeling like his heart was about to burst a little while longer.
“I love you,” Julian said, as though he hadn’t said it half a dozen times on the way home. As though he was saying it for the first time, all over again.
At least, that was how it sounded to Isaac’s ears.
He hesitated, and then flicked open the lube he’d retrieved earlier one-handed. Julian glanced at the bottle again, heat flaring up in his eyes. His tongue darted out, soft and pink and suddenly impossibly hot, to wet his lips.
“I want you to do it,” Julian said, nodding to the lube. “I don’t need much, but… I like this part.”
Isaac nodded, his cock twitching against his belly at the thought of sliding his fingers inside Julian, feeling the warmth of him, feeling him tight at first, and then relaxed when he was really turned on, ready to take Isaac’s cock.
“Anything you want,” Isaac promised, pouring lube out onto his fingers and spreading it around.
Julian shuffled closer to him, lifting his hips up just a little so Isaac could get his hand under, the velvet-soft skin of his balls brushing against the pulse in his wrist, Julian’s hips already rocking with the sensation.
There was no rush, Isaac decided. If Julian liked this, then they could take it slow.
“You sure you’re comfortable like that?” he asked, wondering if the position was awkward.
Julian hesitated, then rolled off Isaac and onto his back on the other side of the bed, grabbing one of the pillows at his head and putting it under his hips instead.
Isaac stared at him as he raised one knee, slowly, a clear invitation.
His cock twitched again, need burning in the pit of his stomach. Julian just giving himself to him like this, spread out and silently waiting…
The trust in his eyes. The sheer, overwhelming trust. Isaac knew it was another apology, softer and more subtle than the last one, but proof. Proof that Julian believed Isaac wouldn’t hurt him, even if it had never been about physically hurting him.
He’d never been more turned on in his life.
Isaac moved to kneel between Julian’s legs, sitting back to look at him. Julian grinned from where his head was propped up on the remaining pillow, his eyes already dark with lust.
He trailed his fingers down the inside of Julian’s thigh, leaving a thin trail of lube in his wake. Julian’s muscles twitched under his touch, his hips wriggling as Isaac trailed down past his balls and rubbed at the sensitive spot behind them.
Julian moaned, rocking his hips into the touch. With another rush of arousal, Isaac realized that he liked this. Really liked it.
His sex life was about to be amazing. He had so much to learn about Julian’s body, and his own, and all the ways they could fit them together.
Biting his lip, Isaac circled Julian’s hole lightly, keeping the pressure just barely more than a tickle. He knew how this felt on himself, the thrill of anticipation, the way his muscles tensed up at first, and then relaxed as he stroked his cock, teasing himself as he finally slipped a finger in.
&
nbsp; He looked up to see Julian just barely touching himself, his thumb stroking up and down just under the head of his cock, the rest of the length held loosely in his hand.
“Don’t come yet,” Isaac said. “Wanna feel it when you do.”
Julian’s breath hitched. His eyes were glazed now, lips slack, but he nodded.
A shiver of need ran down Isaac’s spine. He remembered the way his own body tensed and tightened when he came, and the thought of feeling that around his cock was too good to pass up. He wanted Julian hard and needy, desperate for release.
Isaac held his tongue between his teeth as he slipped the tip of his finger inside Julian, his breath catching in his chest.
Julian held still, his hand splayed on his belly instead of stroking his cock now. A bead of precome was welling up at the tip of his cock, and Isaac couldn’t tear his eyes away as he worked his first finger in, watching the bead grow until it burst and rolled off, leaving a wet trail in its wake.
He was doing that. He was doing that to Julian, and wow, that was hot.
“More?” Isaac asked, unsure what Julian had actually meant by not needing much.
Julian nodded eagerly, rocking his hips, encouraging Isaac to press a second finger against him and then watch it disappear into his body, his mouth going dry at the sight.
Despite all of that, Julian just hummed softly, like he was on the receiving end of a shoulder massage. Isaac twisted his fingers, searching for…
He grinned when Julian’s hips jerked, a gasp catching in his throat. He’d need to remember where that spot was, so he could hit it again later.
“Didn’t want you falling asleep on me,” Isaac said, teasing. “Think you can hold out a little longer?”
This was nice, this gentle, caring moment between the two of them, and Isaac wasn’t quite ready to give it up yet.
“As long as you want,” Julian said, his voice soft and just a little rough, but every word filled with affection. “I love you.”
Isaac’s heart swelled painfully in his chest. He didn’t think he’d ever get tired of hearing that, not if he and Julian were together for the rest of their lives.
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