Resolution: Free Fall (A Resolution Pact Short Story)

by Fiona Starr

  I turn to look at my dog and he’s gone out the window. I hop out of the cab and catch a flash of black racing across the schoolyard, on a bee-line for Jules.

  I run after him. “Swoop!”

  JULES

  Angie, the choir instructor, stops talking and points across the field. “What the heck is that? Oh, my god!”

  I glance in the direction she is pointing and see a giant black dog racing toward us. The sense of déjà vu makes me pause a moment before I’m able to tell her I know the dog.

  “Swooper! Come here, boy!” I crouch down and brace myself for impact, but Swooper slows when gets close to me and waggles his entire body as he licks my face.

  “Swoop! Stop! Come!” Ben’s shouts reach me from all the way across the field. He’s running all out, trying to catch up with Swoop.

  “I’ve got him, it’s okay!” I shout.

  Ben slows to a jog and finally arrives next to me and Angie. He’s holding what looks like the tattered remains of a bouquet of flowers—daisies. He’s got little white petals in his hair and there’s a path of scattered flower stems and white daisy heads marking his path to me.

  I can’t help but smile. Angie takes one look at me, gives me wide eyes, and slips away.

  “Hi,” I say, trying not to sound shy.

  Ben runs his hand through his hair and daisy petals rain down. “Hi.” He’s breathing heavy. I offer him some water from my bottle and he takes a swig. “Thanks.”

  “What are you doing here?” I say, looking around at my kiddos, making sure everyone’s okay. Angie has taken over watch for me and waves me off.

  He looks down at Swoop. “I, um. I wanted to call. But…”

  I shake my head. “No. It’s better that you didn’t, actually. I don’t know what I was doing when we… um… that wasn’t me.”

  He smiles his wolfish smile and arches an eyebrow at me. “It certainly looked like you.”

  I blow out my breath and shake my head. This really is a game to him. Did he come here for another hookup? Is that all I am? A piece of ass? I clench my jaw and my fists and force myself to be assertive. It’s never been a strength of mine, but the old Jules is gone and this new one won’t be toyed with.

  “Did you come here looking to…” I glance around to make sure little ears won’t overhear. “Did you come here for another quick fuck? At my school?” I can feel the blood rising in my cheeks. “Cassie was right about you. You’re a dog. No, you’re worse than a dog… you’re a hound.” I hiss the words at him and surprise myself.

  He looks stunned. “What? No. I…” Then his shoulders drop and he looks injured. “You spoke to Cassie.” He nods. “It’s okay. I get it. I shouldn’t have come. I am sorry Swoop ran after you again. I should have closed his window when I parked.” He looks at the flowers in his hand and lets his arms fall to his sides as he walks away. “I was hoping to talk. I just… I wanted… I don’t know. Forget I was here.”

  BEN

  Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. Fuck! I slam the door to my truck and start the engine, unsure what to do. I want to be angry at Evan and at Cassie but honestly; they were looking out for their friend. If Jules were my sister, I would totally warn her away from a guy like me.

  I want to be angry at Jules. How can she have spent the afternoon with me like that and think I’m just out to get laid? Then I laugh at my stupidity. What is she supposed to think when less than an hour after our first meeting we’re having hot sex on the lovesac?

  I want to be angry at Swoop for making me run to her like that when I wasn’t ready. I should have planned this better. I should have… “Damn it!” I slam my hand on the steering wheel and blow out my breath.

  The only one I should be angry at is myself. I am the reason she’s been warned off. My past is as messy and flaky as any sleazy player. Jules doesn’t owe me a thing. I should apologize for making her feel like another notch on my belt.

  JULES

  It’s been a month since Ben, and I sometimes go the whole morning without thinking of him. But all it takes is stepping into the yard at recess and he comes pouring back, tattered flowers, Swooper, and all.

  “There you go again. What is it you always say? Earth to Jules?” Angie snaps her fingers in front of my face and I blink back to focus.

  “I’m sorry. I’m just… thinking,” I say.

  “Thinking about him. I can tell.” She hooks a thumb over her shoulder at the street where I am looking and where Ben had parked when he came here. “Why don’t you call him?”

  I sigh. “He’s not my kind of guy, Ang. He’s… I don’t know. He’s bad news. He’s not looking for a relationship.” I remember Evan’s words to me. “His best friend swears he’s a good guy in every way, but not in the girl department. Says he’s been burned and it turned him off anything real.”

  Angie pinches her chin as if in deep thought. “Uh huh, and when he arrived here in a pressed shirt with flowers and combed hair, you translated that into ‘not looking for anything real’?”

  “You make me sound stupid for letting him go.”

  She gives me the hand. “Your word, not mine, Stupid.”

  “Thanks.”

  She grabs me by the shoulders and squares off in front of my face. “Look, hun. You’re miserable. You’ve always been a bit of a sad one, Miss Wilson, but ever since you made this New Year’s resolution to do new things, you’ve been worse off than ever before. I think you need to forget what your friends are telling you and give this guy a chance.”

  I shake my head, but something in me stirs. “It’s easy for you to say; you’ve been with Stan for like twenty years.”

  “Twenty seven, and I’ll tell you what—he still floats my boat. So take it from an old lady who drinks tea and knows things. You deserve to be happy. And if this guy is the one for you, forget what your friends think they know about him and take a chance. You want people to judge you by your sad past?” She waves a finger in front of my face. “I’ll answer that for you. No. You don’t. This guy deserves another shot just as much as you do.” She crosses her arms and nods as if that’s all there is to say.

  The afternoon bells rings and I escort the children to the front of the school and the buses. I deliver a handful of kids to the carpool line and once they are with the carpool monitors, I have my keys out and I run to my car.

  Angie’s right. I deserve a chance as much as Ben does. If he turns out to be a jerk and proves Evan and Cassie right? Well, then I haven’t lost anything.

  I turn my key in the ignition and whisper a wish to the Universe. “Don’t be a jerk. Don’t be a jerk. Don’t be a jerk.”

  BEN

  Shelly stops by my desk and picks up the days’ batch of forms. “Why don’t you go home, Ben? You look like shit.”

  “Thanks, Shel. You’re too kind.” I try to smile but I don’t have it in me. The past several weeks have been a blur of drinking and sleeping and sitting at this desk doing nothing.

  “I’m serious. You’re depressed, my friend. Look at yourself. Hell, look at your dog. He knows it too.”

  We both glance over at Swoop who looks like his person died. I open the door and let him outside. Poor guy’s miserable because of me. I feel horrible that my dog is sad but I can’t get out of my own way.

  Shelly sits on the end of my desk. “I know you tried, but I think you need to move on. You can’t force a girl to fall for you just because you’ve got it bad.” She knocks on the desk. “Hey, you know what you need? You need to come out tonight to the bar. It’s Friday. The girls always ask about you. That new one, Katie… she says to tell you hello.” She mimics Katie’s little girl voice and it makes us both laugh.

  “See? There it is, that killer smile. I knew it was in there somewhere.”

  “Thanks Shelly. I mean it. But I think I’m just going to head home. Take Swoop for a walk.”

  She shrugs. “Hey, I tried, right? Have a good night. And get some sleep; we have a full day tomorrow and Lucas is out, so you’
re jumping tandem early.”

  “Got it, chief,” I say, giving her a salute. I watch her leave and lean back in my chair as the last of the day’s jumpers come down. The sun sets and the field goes dark and everyone closes up. Matthew and Chip wave as they pass my office window and head to the parking lot and home.

  I click off the lights and pull my coat off the hook, feeling almost too tired to put it on. Not that it matters; it’s a short walk to the truck and the heater only takes a minute. I step outside into the night and lock the office door. I turn to head to my car and Swoop races past, almost knocking me off my feet. “Swoop!” I call, but he doesn’t listen. He’s probably chasing a rabbit.

  I hop in my truck, turn the ignition, and blast the heat while I wait for Swoop to come back. He knows that when I start the truck, it’s time to go, but there’s no sign of him. “Damn it.”

  I leave the truck running and step outside again. “Swooper! Come!” The parking lot is totally dark except for my headlights and a few hangar spotlights pointing toward the road.

  I hear his collar before I see him. “Good boy, come on Swoop. Let’s go home.”

  I climb back into the cab, push Swoop’s door open and wait, warming my hands on the blower. Where the hell is that dog?

  I am about to step out of the car once more when he steps into the headlight beam with her by his side. She’s holding a bunch of flowers and she’s got Swoop by the collar.

  “I figured you’d want your dog back.” Her words turn to frost in the chilly air.

  I lean forward, staring at her through the windshield, not trusting my eyes. “Jules?”

  She nods and the invitation in her eyes is all I need. I am out of the truck and standing in front of her with my heart in my throat.

  “I don’t know what I am doing here,” she says. Then she shakes her head. “No. That’s not right. I am here because I don’t believe what they say about you is true. I mean… I know that’s who you used to be. But I am not the person I used to be, so why should I push you away based on your past? I want to give you another chance and I am here to ask you if you’ll give me one too.”

  “Oh, Jules.” I feel like my chest is going to explode with relief and joy and gratitude. I can’t believe she’s here. And she’s asking for me. I close my eyes and say a prayer of thanks to whoever arranged the stars for me tonight.

  She lifts the flowers and offers them to me. “I spoke to Evan. He told me a little about the pretty crappy relationship you had in the past. I came here tonight to let you know that no matter how things go with us, I won’t ever betray you or your trust. I promise to be honest with you and to do my best at whatever this becomes—or doesn’t. I don’t expect you to be someone you’re not, but I think I see a different Ben in there than everyone else knows, and I’d like a chance to know him.”

  I reach down and pick her up and ease her onto the hood of my truck so she’s above me and can see my eyes. “Jules, if I had a million chances to show you the real me, I would take every single one until I got it right.”

  She slides down into my arms and plants a kiss on my mouth. “I hear you have a killer beanbag chair in there.” She tips her head toward my office.

  “I guess my reputation proceeds me.” I turn off my truck and take my keys in one hand and Jules in the other and we head back inside.

  JULES

  I drop my coat and my scarf on the floor as we make our way across the room. The beanbag chair is in the same place as before but this time I am not fainting on it. Not even close. Ben’s hands are shaking as he holds me and I feel like maybe, just maybe, he’s as excited as I am to be together again. It’s not just sex; it’s more, it’s bigger. It’s Us.

  The room is dark, lit only by the spotlight from the neighboring hangar shining through the window.

  He lifts my sweater over my head and peels his own shirt off as I work on his belt buckle and his jeans. He’s so much taller than me that when he bends to kiss my neck, I can’t reach him and instead have to place my hands on his chest until he comes back within reach. He stands on his knees above me and grabs my hands, stopping me from removing his shorts.

  “Jules. I need to say something to you.” He’s panting with exertion and there’s sweat beading on his forehead.

  Nerves jumble my belly and I wonder for a moment if I misread things. “What is it?”

  He sits next to me and places our hands on the faux fur between us. He looks into my eyes and swallows hard.

  “Jules, I need you to know that what happened to me before, it really messed me up. But since you… it’s gone. Erased. From the moment I met you I have not been able to stop thinking about you. Our afternoon together healed whatever was broken inside me from before. You fixed in one afternoon a hole I’ve spent the last five years trying to fill. I’m different. Changed. This… what we’re doing here, isn’t like anything I’ve done with anyone before. This means something to me. It means everything. I need you to know that. Really, know it.”

  The intensity in his eyes matches the strength of his words and I know nothing else in the world except that I believe him. I take his face in my hands and look into his eyes and smile. I kiss his forehead. “Ben Butler, I trust you.” I kiss his left cheek. “I trust you.” And his right. “I trust you.” Then his nose. “I trust you.” Then his mouth. “I tru—”

  I can’t get the word out before he’s pressing into me and we’re all arms and legs fighting to get out of our clothes. When we’re finally free I reach for him, finding his swollen cock and guiding him to me. I am so wet he glides inside and we stop for a moment and bask in the feeling of how well we fit together. I can feel his pulse inside me as he kisses my neck, then he thrusts and there’s nothing of me left. I let him carry me away in his arms.

  BEN

  Heaven. This is what heaven must be like. Not the sex, well… well, yes the sex, but the feeling I have is one of safety and surety and home. It feels so strange and yet so right. In this moment, I am not alone on the earth. I have found my other half and she’s right here, with me. I am inside her and she surrounds me and we’re are holding each other like our lives depend on staying connected. Maybe they do. I know for me it feels like my life has started again.

  I pull away from her as she moans and I ease her back onto the cushion. I don’t want to rush this. I need her to know that she’s my focus. She comes first. I reach for her knees and she spreads her legs wide, welcoming me. I kiss her ankle, then her calf, moving up her leg to the tender skin of her inner thigh and once I am near her she grabs my hair and eases me into her.

  I sink my tongue into her wetness and lick her pussy, bringing my mouth around the plump little pearl of her clit. She whimpers as I take her into my mouth and roll my tongue around her entrance, teasing her with my nearness to her most sensitive tiny spot. When I finally return to suck her with force, she shifts under me.

  “I want to suck you.” She pulls herself around and urges me onto my side. “I need your cock in my mouth.”

  When she takes me into her mouth, it’s all I can do to focus. Her body writhes and she bucks as I suck her pussy, using her moans as my guide. She’s got my cock in her mouth and she’s squeezing my balls and I can’t think about anything anymore.

  We move together, our bodies thrusting and pulling, and squeezing and sucking. Then she’s kneeling in front of me, panting and begging me to take her from behind.

  On all fours, she reaches for my cock and brings me into her wetness again. I grab her ass and slam myself into her pussy over and over until finally she stands on her knees and presses her back into me and guides my hand over her belly and down to her clit. I press my thumb onto her and rub her gently at first, then more firmly as she leans into my hand. “Harder. Harder!” She whimpers as my slick hand moves over her pussy and brings her to the edge.

  “Yes, Ben. Oh, yes! Please!”

  She arches her back as she comes and I finally let go, releasing myself as she continues to rock against me.
I feel myself spill into her. We fall in a heap on the beanbag, and settle with her spooning in front of me.

  She shivers as the chill of the room finds us. I rub my arms over hers pull a blanket from the basket and cover us with it.

  “Thank you for coming back,” I whisper.

  Her ears move as she smiles. “Thank you for letting me in,” she says, turning to kiss me yet again.

  JULES

  ONE YEAR LATER

  We’re at eighteen thousand feet and the noise of the engine drowns out any conversation. I’m an experienced skydiver now, nationally certified as an instructor and one hundred percent in love with Ben. We’re taking up a class of experienced skydivers who have asked us to film their maneuvers for their Valentine’s Day fall. We’re all wearing cameras on our helmets and Ben’s got a tether to make sure everyone stays in formation for the shot.

  The lights inside the plane flash green and everyone piles out. I jump before Ben and we’re off.

  The wind is exhilarating as it rushes over my face. The pull of gravity is like nothing else. I turn to watch the other jumpers, careful to keep my movements smooth, and my camera from making the footage jumpy.

  We decided earlier that once the free fallers interlocked in formation, Ben would float under them and I’d stay above. We’d both film them as they turned and moved like synchronized swimmers through the air. I move my arms to buffet myself and I float up and away from the pack. But instead of locking formation, they all link arms and flip over, facing up at me. I go with it, making sure to film everything, while keeping track of our time. We have to open our chutes before too long, and they all know the signal.